Greendoor Relaxation

Affairs PART 1 – Assumptions Versus Facts

Some of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships are assumptions or myths. Some of the statistical facts in regards to infidelity are surprising and thought-provoking. While some of the myths lead to judgments and are very hurtful for the affected couple, the facts help us to be compassionate with ourselves and others in a situation of betrayal. Read More about “Affairs PART 1 – Assumptions Versus Facts”…

Tag: Terrence Real

How to Avoid Misunderstandings with Your Partner

Posted on by Greendoor

Due to evolutionary reasons, our brain has a negativity bias. That means it tends to fill in the gaps in conversations with others with negative assumptions. Here are some examples of how you and your partner can create smoother interactions and stay connected by using micro communication to fill in those gaps before your negativity-biased brain takes over.

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Which Version of You Shows Up in a Conflict With Your Partner?

Posted on by Greendoor

Terry Real’s concept of the Wise Adult versus the Adaptive Child offers a helpful framework for understanding why we do not always show up fully resourced and able to have productive discussions in a conflict. The path to a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship begins with understanding ourselves and our patterns. “Fight, flight and fix” are the three automatic knee-jerk responses when we are activated. Find out your Adaptive Child’s automatic reaction and how to reconnect with your Wise Adult, so you can more often show up with confidence, warmth and flexibility.

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How To Do the Time Out Right

Posted on by Greendoor

When one or both people in an interaction are emotionally triggered, perhaps even feeling extreme anger or rage, absolutely nothing good can come out of continuing the fight or emotionally charged conversation. While we are in fight, flight or freeze mode, we simply cannot problem solve. The time out is like a circuit breaker helping us to get back into a calm, clear, collected, creative and even compassionate state. How do we use the time out most effectively?

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5 Losing Strategies in Relationships

Posted on by Greendoor

We all have protective strategies which keep us from feeling vulnerable. Unfortunately, these dynamics cause damage to a relationship. Terry Real names five losing strategies in relationships. The first step of changing destructive interactions is to understand your partner’s protective mechanisms but more importantly what your own defaults are.

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