When one or both people in an interaction are emotionally triggered, perhaps even feeling extreme anger or rage, absolutely nothing good can come out of continuing the fight or emotionally charged conversation. While we are in fight, flight or freeze mode, we simply cannot problem solve. The time out is like a circuit breaker helping us to get back into a calm, clear, collected, creative and even compassionate state. How do we use the time out most effectively?
We all have protective strategies which keep us from feeling vulnerable. Unfortunately, these dynamics cause damage to a relationship. Terry Real names five losing strategies in relationships. The first step of changing destructive interactions is to understand your partner’s protective mechanisms but more importantly what your own defaults are.