Greendoor Relaxation

Affairs PART 1 – Assumptions Versus Facts

Some of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships are assumptions or myths. Some of the statistical facts in regards to infidelity are surprising and thought-provoking. While some of the myths lead to judgments and are very hurtful for the affected couple, the facts help us to be compassionate with ourselves and others in a situation of betrayal. Read More about “Affairs PART 1 – Assumptions Versus Facts”…

Tag: securely attached

Why Bonding Conversations Are Essential for Our Relationships

Posted on by Greendoor

On April 23, Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focus Therapy, sadly passed away. She had an essential influence on couples therapy. One of her key findings for secure attachment is the bonding conversation. That is an interaction where one person can open up, reach for the other person, and share vulnerabilities, needs and fears in a way that pulls the other person close. Most fights are not about the content of the fight (money, parenting, housework, sex, etc.) but about feeling unheard, unseen, and disconnected. Our human biology is wired for connection. Here is how a bonding conversation looks.

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My Partner Lies Or Withholds Information – The Importance of Transparency in a Relationship

Posted on by Greendoor

If you are conflict-avoidant, you have most likely learned that you are lovable when you are fulfilling the expectations of others. Hence, you have learned not to “rock the boat” and to comply—or avoid compliance—rather than facing hard conversations. However, lying, fibbing or omitting the full truth has long-term damaging effects on our partnerships. Whether you are just starting a relationship, getting married or have been in a long-term committed relationship for a while, it is worth adopting a transparency policy. Agree with your partner on what that means for both of you. Read more about why this policy is so beneficial for your partnership.

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