Greendoor Relaxation

Affairs PART 1 – Assumptions Versus Facts

Some of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships are assumptions or myths. Some of the statistical facts in regards to infidelity are surprising and thought-provoking. While some of the myths lead to judgments and are very hurtful for the affected couple, the facts help us to be compassionate with ourselves and others in a situation of betrayal. Read More about “Affairs PART 1 – Assumptions Versus Facts”…

Tag: marriage counseling

Moving Forward After A Betrayal

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Affairs or any betrayal can destroy a marriage. Ironically, they can also strengthen the bond if you do the hard work of recovering after a betrayal and rebuilding a trusting relationship. Here are some steps necessary for the affair recovery and preventing future betrayals.

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Do You and Your Spouse Have Unsolvable Issues?

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Does it sometimes feel like you are having the same fight over and over again? Perhaps your repeated disagreements involve money, work, neatness at home, sex, your extended family, housework, the children, religion, health or different social needs—the list is endless. If you are worried that these issues will break your relationship apart, don’t be. Here is what is going on with these perpetual conflicts and what is required from you and your partner.

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Which Is Your Conflict Style, and Which Is Your Partner’s?

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Conflict is not just unavoidable but also necessary to work through issues. In our family of origin, we learn beliefs about conflicts and fighting and how to express our emotions. Conflict experiences with our family and previous relationships shape our “fighting style” or “conflict style.” Learn about three “healthy” and two “unhealthy” conflict styles that Drs John and Julie Gottman distinguish and determine your and your partner’s styles.

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Are You Afraid of Anger and Conflict?

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We have learned to look at anger as something negative. We feel ashamed of anger and often perceive conflict as an issue that must be avoided. Conflict is not just unavoidable but also necessary for our relationships. Research has shown that conflict and anger provide opportunities for greater intimacy and deeper connection for couples.

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How to Enjoy Your Family and In-Laws

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Dealing with the expectations and dynamics of extended family gatherings can create tension and requires patience, creativity, compassion and clarity how to balance everybody’s needs. The more solid our relationships are, the easier we can navigate challenging times. Do you wish some of your relationships were less stressful, deeper, more harmonious or enjoyable? Read how Michele has completely changed her relationship with her mother-in-law and other family members.

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How to Avoid Misunderstandings with Your Partner

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Due to evolutionary reasons, our brain has a negativity bias. That means it tends to fill in the gaps in conversations with others with negative assumptions. Here are some examples of how you and your partner can create smoother interactions and stay connected by using micro communication to fill in those gaps before your negativity-biased brain takes over.

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Which Version of You Shows Up in a Conflict With Your Partner?

Posted on by Greendoor

Terry Real’s concept of the Wise Adult versus the Adaptive Child offers a helpful framework for understanding why we do not always show up fully resourced and able to have productive discussions in a conflict. The path to a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship begins with understanding ourselves and our patterns. “Fight, flight and fix” are the three automatic knee-jerk responses when we are activated. Find out your Adaptive Child’s automatic reaction and how to reconnect with your Wise Adult, so you can more often show up with confidence, warmth and flexibility.

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