Psychologist and attorneys predict that the divorce rates all over the world will rise once we have made it through this stressful situation COVID-19 has brought us. As a relationship coach, I simply have to challenge that statement. We can resign to separations and divorces, or we can use this time period to improve all our relationships but especially our partnerships or marriages.
It has been imprinted on our psyche that holidays are the time to spend with our family and loved ones. But what if we are still grieving the loss of a family member who has passed, or we live in a split-up family, or we cannot seem to make the dream of a family come true, or we are experiencing the loss of our health, our job, our pet, our home and so on? How do we get through the holidays when they deepen our sadness and magnify our pain.
Are you dating and wondering if the other person is the right long-term partner for you? What is required to assess another person realistically and minimize repeating heartbreak and disappointment?
What if we would not just strive to consciously create fulfilling and well functioning relationships, but also create break-ups “where neither party was blamed or shamed yet where both people were left valued and appreciated for all that they’d given one another” (Katherine Woodward Thomas)?
We cannot emotionally complete our past until we are aware of our patterns, habits and beliefs. Without uncovering them, we bring our emotional baggage into the next relationship and repeat the same patterns and issues. The first practical step to achieve clarity is to examine our relationship history.
Why do we often live one relationship after the next with the same patterns and issues? The reason for that is that we don’t learn how to grieve and complete relationships that end and therefore we carry the unresolved emotions forward into the future.
Sometimes we underestimate periods of transition in our life. We are getting married, having a baby, melting two families, getting a promotion; our children move out, or we are retiring. All these are usually “happy” events. Yet, transitions can shake us, they require adjustments. They can trigger emotions and fears. They might bring limiting beliefs up to the surface. They are a beautiful gift, an opportunity to do our growth work.
Life changes, such as a birth or a death, getting married, getting divorced or even moving house have a way of “throwing us off our routine”. We need to make a new start, find the equilibrium again. These events have a way of shaking our beliefs and challenging the way we think and feel. Some…