You met Lisa and Yohan in part 1 of my article “Why Are You Getting So Upset?” They decided to face the challenge of shifting out of a problematic pattern She was being placed in the role of a controlling mother and he was responding passive-aggressively to the control he experienced. They had no productive…
Passive-aggressiveness is a strategy developed in childhood out of a feeling of powerlessness, and carried into adulthood and into our relationships as the automatic response when there is a conflict. How does it look and why is it so infuriating?
As humans we crave nothing more than a deep intimate connection with another person, yet, we are at the same time often deeply afraid of reaching out and entrusting others with our fears and needs. We receive our wounding in relationships and our deepest healing also happens within the boundaries of a safe, exclusive, committed and intimate relationship. How can we help our partner to reach out, and how can we find the courage to be vulnerable ourselves?
Relationships sometimes bring out the best in us, other times they bring out the worst. They can trigger our insecurities and old inner wounds; they can bring up our fears and automatic protective responses. Such protective responses can be anger, judgment, the rational voice, or a part in us that pretends that we don’t care….