It takes courage to make changes in our lives and our relationships. Taking the step to work on your relationship means you believe your relationship is more important than any resistance or fear you are experiencing. Coming for a session to see a coach is the first step in initiating changes. Let’s make sure your experience is as beneficial and efficient as possible.
Before you come in for a couple’s session, I would like you to reflect on a few goal-oriented questions so that you and your partner can get the most out of the coaching session.
The first thing to acknowledge and remember is that you cannot change your partner; you can only change yourself. Coaching gives you the best results if you take responsibility and if you commit to learning to understand your partner at a deeper level. Focus on changing yourself and your responses to each other to create together what you both desire.
In a couple’s session, we will assess the situation your relationship is in, look ahead to the future and to the relationship you want to have, and begin the work of interacting differently with your partner. A relationship is a team effort. Being a TEAM means “Together, Each Accomplishes More.” Or in other words, what is good for your partner, is also good for you and your relationship.
To begin the work together as a team, we need a target, the motivation to work on the relationship, and the willingness to change.
Ask yourself the following questions before you come in for a session.
- What kind of marriage or relationship do I want to be in?
Answering that question provides you and your partner with a target.
- Why is that kind of relationship important to me?
This is the motivation you have to do this work.
- What is going to be required of ME to create this?
This will help you shift from the natural tendency of wanting to change your partner to taking responsibility for your part of the relationship.
I look forward to hearing your answers to those questions during your first coaching session with me.
You might also want to check out Concerns People Have When Starting Couples Coaching.
For more detailed information on sessions with your partner, please click Couples Sessions Versus Individual Sessions.
Angelika, Relationship Coaching