Terry Real’s concept of the Wise Adult versus the Adaptive Child offers a helpful framework for understanding why we do not always show up fully resourced and able to have productive discussions in a conflict. The path to a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship begins with understanding ourselves and our patterns. “Fight, flight and fix” are the three automatic knee-jerk responses when we are activated. Find out your Adaptive Child’s automatic reaction and how to reconnect with your Wise Adult, so you can more often show up with confidence, warmth and flexibility.
The Feedback Wheel – A Game-Changing Tool for Relationship Communication
One essential tool for couples who want to improve their communication and build stronger relationships is The Feedback Wheel. It provides a structure for clear, honest, and respectful communication that helps partners understand each other’s perspectives and work towards resolving issues together.
3 Core Skills for Romantic Relationships
Clinical psychologist Joanne Davila names three core skills we need to develop to have long-lasting and successful romantic relationships. What are those skills, and how do they lead to “romantic competence”?
Why Fear of Anger and Aggression is Costly in Our Relationships
We know how uncontrolled anger and aggression can be destructive in our professional and private lives. However, when we learn to fear the power of our aggression and disown that energy completely, we are stuck in non-action. Aggression paired with desire and courage is a fabulous catalyst for change. Read about Rick and Florence and how they learned that anger and aggression are not just necessary to be in touch with for professional success but also for intimacy and closeness in their marriage.
What Is a Dealbreaker Versus a Workable Problem?
In every partnership, there are conflicts and unsolvable problems that require dialogues and compromises. How do you recognize a workable problem from a dealbreaker? When is it time to call it quits?
The Five Most Common Fights and How to Handle Them
Some fights are not at all what they seem. What we are fighting about is not the real trigger. A fight could be about underlying beliefs and feelings, childhood projections, fear of loss, or value differences. Here are 5 common types of fights according to relationship coach and author Jayson Gaddis.
How Agreements Strengthen Our Relationships
Relationships can be tricky at times. When we go through stressful periods, it is enormously helpful to have specific agreements to figure out a challenge as a team. Agreements that both people commit to, increase the strength and longevity of a relationship.
Why It Is a Bad Idea to Argue with Your Partner About Who Remembers Things Right
Have you been in one of those arguments where you cannot believe that your partner does not remember an event the way you do? Yet, you are sure they are wrong and will remember again how it really was if you just remind them of what they said or did? Here is why arguing about the accuracy of past events is a terrible idea.
How to Give a Heartfelt Apology
The struggle to apologize is widespread. Most of us have been conditioned to shame ourselves when we are told that we have done something “wrong.” Instead of taking ownership and mending a rift with the other person, we often minimize, ridicule, get defensive, explain, or become angry. Because our feelings of shame are so uncomfortable, we do not usually take the step to empathize with the other person and deliver a heartfelt apology.
Join Us for a Chat on Long-Term Committed Relationships
When is the right time to hire a relationship coach? Couples who believe that you only hire a coach when there are serious issues miss the opportunity to learn more productive interactions when there is only a “small fire,” as opposed to the entire “relationship house standing in flames”. Thankfully, more and more young couples realize how smart it is to create a solid foundation. They want to learn and establish habits of successful couples, for example how to have productive conflicts and how to show up together as a strong team from the start.
How to Stop Feeling Resentful
Resentment towards our partner is the accumulation of lingering feelings we have from previous unresolved conflicts and unfulfilled needs. If resentment is being ignored and suppressed, it tends to grow. It creates a toxic atmosphere. We can let the resentments fester and allow them to poison our relationships, or we can learn how to work through them. Here are two processes to work through resentment.
The Need to Overcome Polarization
Right now, the splits in our society are more profound and more palpable than ever, and we are faced with what appears to be unsolvable conflicts. How can we get out of this polarization and bridge the divide?