Lies between relationship partners have the possibility to nurture but they also have potential to destroy a relationship. How does the person who is being lied to help to create the dynamic?
What keeps us stuck in a feeling of “unworthiness”, of “being a failure”, is not the mistake we have made but the lack of self-forgiveness and self-compassion. The feeling of “not being good enough” has its foundation in shame. The only way out of that swamp of shame and fear is through self-love and self-acceptance.
I ask, “How are you?” She replies, “Not that great. I have been feeling really down for the last two weeks. It all feels futile. I have failed in so many ways.”
The “I’m not good enough” story is almost universal. It is our default program but there is something we can do to alleviate this Inner Critic voice.
Easter is a great opportunity to get in touch with our Inner Child and her or his needs. Our Inner Child is that vulnerable younger part in us which carries our playfulness, our imagination and creativity, our sensitivity, our fears and needs, and last but not least, the ability to be completely in the present moment.
We come into this world open, loving and unguarded, until we learn to protect ourselves. Reconnecting with our true essence simply means reopening our heart to love. It means unity with others, with other people, with nature, with the source of life with all there is.
Going into a heart-coherent state allows us to listen and speak from the heart. We can shift out of criticism, defensiveness and contempt into a respectful and loving interaction. Heart-coherence promotes that we are less reactive, able to think more clearly and to problem solve effectively.
As adults we can examine our stories about our father and change them. We can choose to continue with the narratives of hurt, disappointment and resentment which we might have been stuck in, or we can get to know the person our father really is.
Suppressed emotional issues consume tremendous amounts of energy and have a negatively cumulative effect. When we jam a cork into our emotional kettle instead of appropriately responding to the whistling, we lose our health, well being and joy.
Who keeps the spotlight brightly focused on our shortcomings and our failures? Meet your Inner Critic and the other personality parts that play on its team. Find out how not to lose the game it wants to play.