Are you dating and wondering if the other person is the right long-term partner for you? What is required to assess another person realistically and minimize repeating heartbreak and disappointment?
How do you start your day and create balance for yourself? By consciously creating routines that meet your needs and help you to experience peace and calm, you can respond to and grow through many of the challenges that come our way every day.
Did you know that Costa Rica rates as one of the happiest countries in the world? Ticos have a very relaxed, simple way of looking at life called “Pura Vida”. They are conscious of nature, and they make family and friends their primary focus. Pura Vida is being thankful for what you have and not dwelling on lack or misfortune.
How do we heal shame and develop shame resilience? Shames grows and thrives through secrecy, silence and judgment. Shame hates being spoken. If we bring empathy to a situation which evokes shame, shame cannot survive.
Our partner can be an invaluable “Tor-Mentor”, a person who mentors us by tormenting us. Inevitably, our partner will act like an early caretaker who hurt us, and we will have a strong emotional reaction and experience what Richard Schwartz calls an attachment re-injury. These triggers are an opportunity to heal our wounds and create more empowered and truly supportive relationships.
It can be challenging to respond to criticism without defensiveness and to stay open to hearing the complaint underneath. Being criticized can shift our autonomic nervous system into defense mode as if we are being attacked. What techniques can we use to remain open and to hear the complaint or longing underneath the other person’s criticism?
What keeps us stuck in a feeling of “unworthiness”, of “being a failure”, is not the mistake we have made but the lack of self-forgiveness and self-compassion. The feeling of “not being good enough” has its foundation in shame. The only way out of that swamp of shame and fear is through self-love and self-acceptance.
I ask, “How are you?” She replies, “Not that great. I have been feeling really down for the last two weeks. It all feels futile. I have failed in so many ways.”
The “I’m not good enough” story is almost universal. It is our default program but there is something we can do to alleviate this Inner Critic voice.
Easter is a great opportunity to get in touch with our Inner Child and her or his needs. Our Inner Child is that vulnerable younger part in us which carries our playfulness, our imagination and creativity, our sensitivity, our fears and needs, and last but not least, the ability to be completely in the present moment.
We come into this world open, loving and unguarded, until we learn to protect ourselves. Reconnecting with our true essence simply means reopening our heart to love. It means unity with others, with other people, with nature, with the source of life with all there is.