Sometimes we feel completely stuck in a situation, out of control and helpless. Yet, five simple questions can shift our perspective and allow us to see our choices, feel more in control and empowered.
Who loves adversity and especially a crisis like the one we are all facing right now? Right! Our Inner Critic! Our Inner Critic is that nagging voice inside, which is trying to protect us by letting us know in which ways we are “faulty” or not doing enough. No matter how well we are doing, the Inner Critic will find something that apparently needs to be improved, and it loves to compare us to others who are supposedly doing better or more.
How do we heal shame and develop shame resilience? Shames grows and thrives through secrecy, silence and judgment. Shame hates being spoken. If we bring empathy to a situation which evokes shame, shame cannot survive.
From an attachment theory standpoint our partner is the best antidepressant and anxiolytic. That requires that we know how to help each other when we feel depressed or anxious. What can we do to help regulate each other and counterbalance anxiety and depression in our relationships?
Suppressed emotional issues consume tremendous amounts of energy and have a negatively cumulative effect. When we jam a cork into our emotional kettle instead of appropriately responding to the whistling, we lose our health, well being and joy.