What is going on when our children seem judgmental of some of the things we do? As parents, we act as mirrors to them, just as they are reflections for us. It is uncomfortable to be at the receiving end of their projections but we need to keep in mind that this is not about us, as much as it feels that way, but it is about what our children have learned to disown; and we may even have taught them to disown that particular trait or energy.
Category: Couples Coaching
How Relationships Can Help With Anxiety and Depression
From an attachment theory standpoint our partner is the best antidepressant and anxiolytic. That requires that we know how to help each other when we feel depressed or anxious. What can we do to help regulate each other and counterbalance anxiety and depression in our relationships?
The Four Stages of Long-Term Relationships
All long-term relationships go through stages. The honeymoon phase makes way to a more challenging stage and from that stage we can advance into the mature love stage. When we learn how to deal with adversity and with our triggers an empowered relationship is the result.
A Love Bank Love Story
Figuratively speaking, everyone has an inner “Love Bank”. When somebody is associated with good feelings, “love units” are deposited into those emotional accounts, and when he or she is associated with painful experiences, love units are withdrawn. Hurtful experiences with others trigger our nervous system into fight, flight or freeze. Those experiences of being triggered into fight or flight put strain on a relationship. The concept of the love bank helps us to understand how to make sure painful experiences are balanced out with experiences of safety and love.
Paul Married Alice – Is There a Perfect Match?
Have you ever wondered whether your partner is “just not a good match” for you? Is there such a thing as the perfect match? In a close loving relationship we re-create our old unresolved hurts and we receive an opportunity to work through those wounds.
Getting to the Complaint Underneath the Criticism
It can be challenging to respond to criticism without defensiveness and to stay open to hearing the complaint underneath. Being criticized can shift our autonomic nervous system into defense mode as if we are being attacked. What techniques can we use to remain open and to hear the complaint or longing underneath the other person’s criticism?
Clearing Your Relationship Baggage – PART 2
We cannot emotionally complete our past until we are aware of our patterns, habits and beliefs. Without uncovering them, we bring our emotional baggage into the next relationship and repeat the same patterns and issues. The first practical step to achieve clarity is to examine our relationship history.
Clearing Your Relationship Baggage – PART 1
Why do we often live one relationship after the next with the same patterns and issues? The reason for that is that we don’t learn how to grieve and complete relationships that end and therefore we carry the unresolved emotions forward into the future.
Do You Trust Me?
To trust means to place our faith or confidence in something unknown. What key components does trust have and how do these aspects affect our relationships?
Why Won’t You Apologize?
I am sorry are the three most powerful words in the English language if delivered with an open heart and sincerity. A meaningful apology can transform a relationship in a positive way, but an apology can also fall short and have the opposite effect. What constitutes an effective apology?
I love you! I love you! I love you!
Is it good to get your negative feelings out? Or does venting have a negative side-effect for our relationship? Positive flooding is a way to re-pattern our brain from feeling unsafe with our partner to feeling loved.
How to Stop Telling Lies & How to Stop Inviting Lies
Lies between relationship partners have the possibility to nurture but they also have potential to destroy a relationship. How does the person who is being lied to help to create the dynamic?