A lot of misunderstandings between the sexes are due to the fact that women do not understand the ways in which men’s brains work differently from ours. We expect men to think and act like we do and are disappointed when they don’t. We also tend to give up part of our identity because we do not realize what attracted men to us in the first place.
Category: Couples Coaching
The Six Second Kiss And Other Rituals of Connection
The six second kiss is a beautiful way of connecting. Kissing releases oxytocin and dopamine. These hormones help us to bond and feel safe. Tender kisses also reduce cortisol and are therefore very beneficial for our health. What other rituals can you establish and why are rituals so important for our relationships?
A.R.E. you there for me?
As humans we crave nothing more than a deep intimate connection with another person, yet, we are at the same time often deeply afraid of reaching out and entrusting others with our fears and needs. We receive our wounding in relationships and our deepest healing also happens within the boundaries of a safe, exclusive, committed and intimate relationship. How can we help our partner to reach out, and how can we find the courage to be vulnerable ourselves?
Jealousy PART 2 – Working Through Jealousy and Fear
How can a couple work through issues of jealousy together?
Jealousy PART 1 – “It’s ridiculous how jealous she is!”
Jealousy is the fear that a special relationship we have with somebody is threatened. We fear that our partner, family member or friend will form a closer relationship with someone else and that we will be excluded or abandoned. Jealousy can be understood based on our evolutionary history as humans and our own personal past experiences.
Expressing Criticism So It Can Be Heard
Why does criticism so often feel like we are being stabbed in the heart? Historically being criticized could lead to being ostracised from our tribe, and that could mean death. Our more instinctive parts of our brain still operate on that fear. However, relationships require us to communicate honestly and to handle criticism constructively. How does one express a complaint in a way that it can be easily heard and does not feel like being stabbed in the heart?
Can I Come in with My New Girlfriend?
What topics should we talk about at the start of a relationship? Relationship coaching helps you and your new love to learn to communicate about challenging topics and to learn to hold each other in those vulnerable moments we all experience. Coaching allows you to become aware of old patterns and to release them. What kind of topics can you explore at the start of a relationship either with a coach or by yourselves?
Courageous Love
Do you like TED talks? You can join me for a 15 minute relationship talk online on the PDA.
Relationships Are Like Bicycles
Relationships grow and change. Long-term relationships or marriages want to be not just created but taken care of along the way. In fact, these relationships are like bicycles in more than one way.
Affairs PART 3 – Boundaries
The less aware a couple is of appropriate boundaries with others, the more likely it is that one partner will slip into an affair. When a love affair happens, the unfaithful partner has built a wall to shut out the marriage partner and has opened a window to let the affair partner in. After the affair, the walls and windows must be reconstructed to be in line with the “safety code” every relationship house requires.
Affairs PART 2 – Lying and Gaslighting
Most unfaithful partners deny the affair at first. They try to assess how much the partner knows and how much they have to tell. They are usually afraid that admitting the whole truth will make things worse. The opposite is the case. Dragging out admissions are comparable to driving long distances on a flat tire. Delaying the repair can cause irreparable damage to the wheel and axle. Denials or half truths cause the same damage to the relationship.
Affairs PART 1 – Assumptions Versus Facts
Some of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships are assumptions or myths. Some of the statistical facts in regards to infidelity are surprising and thought-provoking. While some of the myths lead to judgments and are very hurtful for the affected couple, the facts help us to be compassionate with ourselves and others in a situation of betrayal.