What is going on in our adult relationships is directly connected to our early childhood attachment experiences. Even if you have learned an avoidant, ambivalent, or disorganized attachment style, “we never lose our inherent capacity for secure attachment” (Diane Poole Heller). Our close, loving relationships offer the perfect realm to develop secure attachment skills with our partner.
Category: Couples Coaching
How Do We Rebuild Trust?
Trust and commitment are two fundamental pillars of a strong relationship. If faith in each other has been damaged, it needs to be strengthened or rebuilt again. Here are the main steps that a couple can consistently take to get back onto the path of mutual trust.
The Five Most Common Fights and How to Handle Them
Some fights are not at all what they seem. What we are fighting about is not the real trigger. A fight could be about underlying beliefs and feelings, childhood projections, fear of loss, or value differences. Here are 5 common types of fights according to relationship coach and author Jayson Gaddis.
How Agreements Strengthen Our Relationships
Relationships can be tricky at times. When we go through stressful periods, it is enormously helpful to have specific agreements to figure out a challenge as a team. Agreements that both people commit to, increase the strength and longevity of a relationship.
Why It Is a Bad Idea to Argue with Your Partner About Who Remembers Things Right
Have you been in one of those arguments where you cannot believe that your partner does not remember an event the way you do? Yet, you are sure they are wrong and will remember again how it really was if you just remind them of what they said or did? Here is why arguing about the accuracy of past events is a terrible idea.
How to Give a Heartfelt Apology
The struggle to apologize is widespread. Most of us have been conditioned to shame ourselves when we are told that we have done something “wrong.” Instead of taking ownership and mending a rift with the other person, we often minimize, ridicule, get defensive, explain, or become angry. Because our feelings of shame are so uncomfortable, we do not usually take the step to empathize with the other person and deliver a heartfelt apology.
Join Us for a Chat on Long-Term Committed Relationships
When is the right time to hire a relationship coach? Couples who believe that you only hire a coach when there are serious issues miss the opportunity to learn more productive interactions when there is only a “small fire,” as opposed to the entire “relationship house standing in flames”. Thankfully, more and more young couples realize how smart it is to create a solid foundation. They want to learn and establish habits of successful couples, for example how to have productive conflicts and how to show up together as a strong team from the start.
How to Stop Feeling Resentful
Resentment towards our partner is the accumulation of lingering feelings we have from previous unresolved conflicts and unfulfilled needs. If resentment is being ignored and suppressed, it tends to grow. It creates a toxic atmosphere. We can let the resentments fester and allow them to poison our relationships, or we can learn how to work through them. Here are two processes to work through resentment.
How To Talk to Each Other When We Are Mad
Have you ever felt too angry to speak to a family member, friend, or your partner? Or you could sense that they were mad at you, and you avoided them out of fear of having a conflict? How do you get past the anger and have a productive and heart-open conversation?
Triangles occur in all kinds of families and are a very destructive force for relationships. More and more people these days get divorced and remarry. Stepfamilies have a built-in potential for jealousy, competition, loyalty conflicts, and the creation of painful triangles. That experience can go hand-in-hand with one partner being unable to find their voice in these triangles and being caught between the loved ones in their life.
What Does it Take for Pandemic Relationships to Last?
The pandemic has been a real stress test for relationships. Most couples encounter different issues regarding finances, health, and family over the course of their relationship or marriage. But whereas in the past those challenges would have come up slowly over time, COVID forced new partners to confront them from the start. At the same time, a lot of stress that normally affects relationships through “third party interactions” was removed through the artificiality of the bubble.
As we are looking ahead, we need to ask how couples can maintain healthy boundaries with others and show up as a unit with third parties, including the extended family?
Why Your Sex Life Is Affected – and What You Can Do
Recent studies have shown that couples have been experiencing a drop in the frequency and quality of sex during the pandemic. Why is that and what can couples do?