When you ask women what qualities they seek when dating, “a good sense of humour” ranks high. Studies show that women, are romantically more attracted to people who make them laugh. Why is humour such an attractive quality when seeking a mate? How does the ability to laugh with each other not only help to navigate marriage and family life but also contributes significantly to our physical and mental health?
Category: Marriage
Family Dynamics
To understand the dynamics in your own family—or maybe a family you just married into—look for where the energy and affection go. And why is it problematic, when a parent is bonded into one of the children rather than into their spouse? Perhaps that child is “the favourite,” the confidant, or the shoulder to lean on or cry on for one of the parents.
My Partner Lies Or Withholds Information – The Importance of Transparency in a Relationship
If you are conflict-avoidant, you have most likely learned that you are lovable when you are fulfilling the expectations of others. Hence, you have learned not to “rock the boat” and to comply—or avoid compliance—rather than facing hard conversations. However, lying, fibbing or omitting the full truth has long-term damaging effects on our partnerships. Whether you are just starting a relationship, getting married or have been in a long-term committed relationship for a while, it is worth adopting a transparency policy. Agree with your partner on what that means for both of you. Read more about why this policy is so beneficial for your partnership.
How to Avoid Misunderstandings with Your Partner
Due to evolutionary reasons, our brain has a negativity bias. That means it tends to fill in the gaps in conversations with others with negative assumptions. Here are some examples of how you and your partner can create smoother interactions and stay connected by using micro communication to fill in those gaps before your negativity-biased brain takes over.
Which Version of You Shows Up in a Conflict With Your Partner?
Terry Real’s concept of the Wise Adult versus the Adaptive Child offers a helpful framework for understanding why we do not always show up fully resourced and able to have productive discussions in a conflict. The path to a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship begins with understanding ourselves and our patterns. “Fight, flight and fix” are the three automatic knee-jerk responses when we are activated. Find out your Adaptive Child’s automatic reaction and how to reconnect with your Wise Adult, so you can more often show up with confidence, warmth and flexibility.
3 Core Skills for Romantic Relationships
Clinical psychologist Joanne Davila names three core skills we need to develop to have long-lasting and successful romantic relationships. What are those skills, and how do they lead to “romantic competence”?
8 Common Misconceptions About Couples Counselling
As a relationship coach who feels passionate about helping her clients to create strong, loving, long-term relationships and who sees couples make beautiful changes all the time, it saddens me that there are still a lot of misconceptions about couples counselling.
Are you wondering if your marriage or long-term relationship could be better, but you or your partner are buying into any of these common misconceptions?
3 Rules for Venting
Sometimes we feel like we want or need to vent to our partner. Getting “things off our chest” makes us feel better, or so we think. Venting can cause problems when we don’t adhere to a few rules.
Marriage After Baby Arrives – Will It Ever Be the Same Again?
Many couples wonder if their marriage can and will stay the same after they have had children. Now is the phase in the marriage when the romantic love experienced in the honeymoon period needs to be replaced by a more mature form of love. New parents need skills to cope with the changes and keep their marriage strong. Here are some things you can do.
Why Fear of Anger and Aggression is Costly in Our Relationships
We know how uncontrolled anger and aggression can be destructive in our professional and private lives. However, when we learn to fear the power of our aggression and disown that energy completely, we are stuck in non-action. Aggression paired with desire and courage is a fabulous catalyst for change. Read about Rick and Florence and how they learned that anger and aggression are not just necessary to be in touch with for professional success but also for intimacy and closeness in their marriage.
Marriage Is…
I had the honour of officiating the wedding of two very dear clients and an opportunity to share some thoughts about marriage.