If you are conflict-avoidant, you have most likely learned that you are lovable when you are fulfilling the expectations of others. Hence, you have learned not to “rock the boat” and to comply—or avoid compliance—rather than facing hard conversations. However, lying, fibbing or omitting the full truth has long-term damaging effects on our partnerships. Whether you are just starting a relationship, getting married or have been in a long-term committed relationship for a while, it is worth adopting a transparency policy. Agree with your partner on what that means for both of you. Read more about why this policy is so beneficial for your partnership.
Trust and commitment are two fundamental pillars of a strong relationship. If faith in each other has been damaged, it needs to be strengthened or rebuilt again. Here are the main steps that a couple can consistently take to get back onto the path of mutual trust.
The pandemic has been a real stress test for relationships. Most couples encounter different issues regarding finances, health, and family over the course of their relationship or marriage. But whereas in the past those challenges would have come up slowly over time, COVID forced new partners to confront them from the start. At the same time, a lot of stress that normally affects relationships through “third party interactions” was removed through the artificiality of the bubble.
As we are looking ahead, we need to ask how couples can maintain healthy boundaries with others and show up as a unit with third parties, including the extended family?
What does a marriage or relationship coach do and how can this help you? Are you struggling with jealousy, anger or an affair? Or do you feel emotionally triggered and unable to communicate successfully? Read more about how coaching could help you individually or with your partner.
The less aware a couple is of appropriate boundaries with others, the more likely it is that one partner will slip into an affair. When a love affair happens, the unfaithful partner has built a wall to shut out the marriage partner and has opened a window to let the affair partner in. After the affair, the walls and windows must be reconstructed to be in line with the “safety code” every relationship house requires.
Most unfaithful partners deny the affair at first. They try to assess how much the partner knows and how much they have to tell. They are usually afraid that admitting the whole truth will make things worse. The opposite is the case. Dragging out admissions are comparable to driving long distances on a flat tire. Delaying the repair can cause irreparable damage to the wheel and axle. Denials or half truths cause the same damage to the relationship.
Some of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships are assumptions or myths. Some of the statistical facts in regards to infidelity are surprising and thought-provoking. While some of the myths lead to judgments and are very hurtful for the affected couple, the facts help us to be compassionate with ourselves and others in a situation of betrayal.