Terry Real’s concept of the Wise Adult versus the Adaptive Child offers a helpful framework for understanding why we do not always show up fully resourced and able to have productive discussions in a conflict. The path to a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship begins with understanding ourselves and our patterns. “Fight, flight and fix” are the three automatic knee-jerk responses when we are activated. Find out your Adaptive Child’s automatic reaction and how to reconnect with your Wise Adult, so you can more often show up with confidence, warmth and flexibility.
Category: Couples Coaching
The Feedback Wheel – A Game-Changing Tool for Relationship Communication
One essential tool for couples who want to improve their communication and build stronger relationships is The Feedback Wheel. It provides a structure for clear, honest, and respectful communication that helps partners understand each other’s perspectives and work towards resolving issues together.
Love, romantic love and sexual polarity are three separate and independent aspects of intimate relationships. To keep the spark alive we need sexual polarity. We are often unaware whether we are in our feminine or masculine energy. Hence we are inadvertently depolarizing our relationship and minimizing sexual attraction. The art of attraction is based on being aware of what energy we are sending out and smoothly shifting back and forth.
3 Core Skills for Romantic Relationships
Clinical psychologist Joanne Davila names three core skills we need to develop to have long-lasting and successful romantic relationships. What are those skills, and how do they lead to “romantic competence”?
What is a woman’s most crucial role in her partner’s life?
Can you guess a spouse’s most crucial role in their partner’s life?
8 Common Misconceptions About Couples Counselling
As a relationship coach who feels passionate about helping her clients to create strong, loving, long-term relationships and who sees couples make beautiful changes all the time, it saddens me that there are still a lot of misconceptions about couples counselling.
Are you wondering if your marriage or long-term relationship could be better, but you or your partner are buying into any of these common misconceptions?
3 Rules for Venting
Sometimes we feel like we want or need to vent to our partner. Getting “things off our chest” makes us feel better, or so we think. Venting can cause problems when we don’t adhere to a few rules.
I Mustn’t Be a Burden – Emotional Avoidance
Emotional connections are the glue that ties us to others and holds our relationships together. Sharing and receiving emotions is the fuel that keeps our love relationships going. A romantic relationship rests upon the vulnerable emotional connections we allow. When we have learned to be emotionally avoidant, we cut ourselves off from what makes life full and joyful.
Marriage After Baby Arrives – Will It Ever Be the Same Again?
Many couples wonder if their marriage can and will stay the same after they have had children. Now is the phase in the marriage when the romantic love experienced in the honeymoon period needs to be replaced by a more mature form of love. New parents need skills to cope with the changes and keep their marriage strong. Here are some things you can do.
Why Fear of Anger and Aggression is Costly in Our Relationships
We know how uncontrolled anger and aggression can be destructive in our professional and private lives. However, when we learn to fear the power of our aggression and disown that energy completely, we are stuck in non-action. Aggression paired with desire and courage is a fabulous catalyst for change. Read about Rick and Florence and how they learned that anger and aggression are not just necessary to be in touch with for professional success but also for intimacy and closeness in their marriage.
Concerns People Have When Starting Couples Coaching
Starting with a couples therapist or relationship coach can be terrifying. Taking this step requires courage. Here are some common concerns new clients have.
Are You a Wave? – Understanding Attachment Styles PART 2
Stan Tatkin has coined the term “wave” for tendencies generally described as an anxious ambivalent attachment style. While an “islandish” person fears loss of self and loss of their independence, the “wave” develops a fear of losing the relationship. Their fear is of being rejected, left or abandoned. They worry that they are too much or too needy. Like a wave coming in and going out, they go back and forth between wanting to connect and fearing rejection. That often comes from a parenting style where the parent was loving at times and preoccupied at other times.