Does this sound familiar? “I only have so much time to make it all happen, to finish my education, start my career, find the perfect partner, get married and have children. I better hurry and make it happen—or I will be too old in no time.”
Sometimes we underestimate periods of transition in our life. We are getting married, having a baby, melting two families, getting a promotion; our children move out, or we are retiring. All these are usually “happy” events. Yet, transitions can shake us, they require adjustments. They can trigger emotions and fears. They might bring limiting beliefs up to the surface. They are a beautiful gift, an opportunity to do our growth work.
10% of Canadian families with children are step-families. Coming together in a melted family is like breaking old pots of pot bound plants open and giving the family members, especially the children, a place to grow which is more expansive than their previous life. What do all the family members need for optimal growth?
Comparing parenting styles in Great Britain and Germany to Canada
clearly shows each country or culture has different values for parenting. What seems right in one culture might be frowned upon in another. Are there any common points independent of the culture that one might want to consider for parenting and/or step-parenting?
All feelings are good! Our emotions are our guidance system. All feelings and emotions give us feedback on what is going on. When you or somebody else feels angry, there is usually some other emotion underneath the anger. That deeper emotion or need has to be addressed. Just as we know we need to feed ourselves when we are hungry, we also need to feed other emotions or needs.