When we are in a relationship, we often give up certain parts of us which seem to be threatening to the relationship. David loves motorcycles but Lisa is afraid of him having an accident. Lisa on the other hand loves dogs but David dislikes them. In order to be together, David has exiled his freedom loving part that wants to ride a bike, and Lisa has exiled her pet loving part that wants to get a dog. If there continues to be no room in their life for these parts, this can sabotage the relationship.
Empathy, the Antidote for Shame
How do we heal shame and develop shame resilience? Shames grows and thrives through secrecy, silence and judgment. Shame hates being spoken. If we bring empathy to a situation which evokes shame, shame cannot survive.
Sue frantically tries to reach John through words, emotions and body language. One moment, she reaches out to him lovingly and patiently, the next she gets angry. Nothing seems to penetrate his stoic and unemotional wall. Neither touch, nor loving words, nor angry ones, nor tears, make a difference. Sue and John are caught in a pattern, a vicious cycle.
A Love Bank Love Story
Figuratively speaking, everyone has an inner “Love Bank”. When somebody is associated with good feelings, “love units” are deposited into those emotional accounts, and when he or she is associated with painful experiences, love units are withdrawn. Hurtful experiences with others trigger our nervous system into fight, flight or freeze. Those experiences of being triggered into fight or flight put strain on a relationship. The concept of the love bank helps us to understand how to make sure painful experiences are balanced out with experiences of safety and love.
Non-Attachment Sets You Free
What does non-attachment or healthy detachment actually mean? A common misconception is that it means “not to care”. True non-attachment is loving and compassionate but without expectations. How does that non-attachment look in our busy lives?
Paul Married Alice – Is There a Perfect Match?
Have you ever wondered whether your partner is “just not a good match” for you? Is there such a thing as the perfect match? In a close loving relationship we re-create our old unresolved hurts and we receive an opportunity to work through those wounds.
Getting to the Complaint Underneath the Criticism
It can be challenging to respond to criticism without defensiveness and to stay open to hearing the complaint underneath. Being criticized can shift our autonomic nervous system into defense mode as if we are being attacked. What techniques can we use to remain open and to hear the complaint or longing underneath the other person’s criticism?
Clearing Your Relationship Baggage – PART 2
We cannot emotionally complete our past until we are aware of our patterns, habits and beliefs. Without uncovering them, we bring our emotional baggage into the next relationship and repeat the same patterns and issues. The first practical step to achieve clarity is to examine our relationship history.
Clearing Your Relationship Baggage – PART 1
Why do we often live one relationship after the next with the same patterns and issues? The reason for that is that we don’t learn how to grieve and complete relationships that end and therefore we carry the unresolved emotions forward into the future.
Going With the Flow
It is quite easy to see “going with a flow” as a call to inactivity, waiting for things to fall into our lap, or making the choice not to make a choice. But that is not what the spiritual principle is about.
Letter From Your Future Self
How do we use the law of attraction and employ our powerful subconscious mind in manifesting a new year filled with all that we desire?
Do You Trust Me?
To trust means to place our faith or confidence in something unknown. What key components does trust have and how do these aspects affect our relationships?