We cannot emotionally complete our past until we are aware of our patterns, habits and beliefs. Without uncovering them, we bring our emotional baggage into the next relationship and repeat the same patterns and issues. The first practical step to achieve clarity is to examine our relationship history.
Why do we often live one relationship after the next with the same patterns and issues? The reason for that is that we don’t learn how to grieve and complete relationships that end and therefore we carry the unresolved emotions forward into the future.
It is quite easy to see “going with a flow” as a call to inactivity, waiting for things to fall into our lap, or making the choice not to make a choice. But that is not what the spiritual principle is about.
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver, and using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he’d told her was empty…
Is it good to get your negative feelings out? Or does venting have a negative side-effect for our relationship? Positive flooding is a way to re-pattern our brain from feeling unsafe with our partner to feeling loved.
We probably all hold the archetype of the “picture book perfect family,” like the Waltons, in our mind. But it is 2017, not the 1930’s, and the reality is that we are faced with more complicated family dynamics, other challenges, and different conflicts than the Waltons would have ever dreamed of.
To work on your relationship, you have three options: individual coaching sessions, couples coaching sessions or a workshop. How do individual sessions and couples sessions differ and where do they overlap?
To get most out of a couple’s coaching session couples need a target, the motivation to work on the relationship, and the willingness to change. Answering just a few goal-oriented questions allows you to set your target and achieve clarity about your motivation and commitment to change.