How can a couple work through issues of jealousy together?
Jealousy is the fear that a special relationship we have with somebody is threatened. We fear that our partner, family member or friend will form a closer relationship with someone else and that we will be excluded or abandoned. Jealousy can be understood based on our evolutionary history as humans and our own personal past experiences.
As this true life story shows we are all connected and are playing our role in the bigger picture. By choosing how we show up we affect everybody around us. The result is a certain vibration from which we co-create our reality with others.
What topics should we talk about at the start of a relationship? Relationship coaching helps you and your new love to learn to communicate about challenging topics and to learn to hold each other in those vulnerable moments we all experience. Coaching allows you to become aware of old patterns and to release them. What kind of topics can you explore at the start of a relationship either with a coach or by yourselves?
The less aware a couple is of appropriate boundaries with others, the more likely it is that one partner will slip into an affair. When a love affair happens, the unfaithful partner has built a wall to shut out the marriage partner and has opened a window to let the affair partner in. After the affair, the walls and windows must be reconstructed to be in line with the “safety code” every relationship house requires.
Most unfaithful partners deny the affair at first. They try to assess how much the partner knows and how much they have to tell. They are usually afraid that admitting the whole truth will make things worse. The opposite is the case. Dragging out admissions are comparable to driving long distances on a flat tire. Delaying the repair can cause irreparable damage to the wheel and axle. Denials or half truths cause the same damage to the relationship.
Some of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships are assumptions or myths. Some of the statistical facts in regards to infidelity are surprising and thought-provoking. While some of the myths lead to judgments and are very hurtful for the affected couple, the facts help us to be compassionate with ourselves and others in a situation of betrayal.
How do you start your day and create balance for yourself? By consciously creating routines that meet your needs and help you to experience peace and calm, you can respond to and grow through many of the challenges that come our way every day.
When we are in a relationship, we often give up certain parts of us which seem to be threatening to the relationship. David loves motorcycles but Lisa is afraid of him having an accident. Lisa on the other hand loves dogs but David dislikes them. In order to be together, David has exiled his freedom loving part that wants to ride a bike, and Lisa has exiled her pet loving part that wants to get a dog. If there continues to be no room in their life for these parts, this can sabotage the relationship.
How do we heal shame and develop shame resilience? Shames grows and thrives through secrecy, silence and judgment. Shame hates being spoken. If we bring empathy to a situation which evokes shame, shame cannot survive.