We all have an inner child; a little girl or boy inside. This is our vulnerable and loving self that we are born with. In our society, it is part of the process of growing up that our power selves, like the successful self, the intellectual self, the controlling self, the angry self, the perfectionist…
Category: Coaching
Every Relationship is a Mirror
Every relationship in our life is a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. When we take a closer look, we realize that everybody is a mirror in some way. One of my favourite philosophers when I was studying philosophy in school was Immanuel Kant. I loved his fabulously clear and simple Categorical Imperative,…
Love is Not a Bargain
Have you ever asked yourself what love truly is? In his book “Loveability,” Robert Holden answers this question quite eloquently. First, he reminds us of everything love is not: Love is not an act. Love is being able to be our real selves. Love is not idolatry. Love can only exist between equals. Love is…
Making Somebody Feel Unloved
Have you ever made somebody else feel unloved because you felt like a failure and pretty much unloved yourself? I have. In fact, just a week ago I made one of my children feel really unloved. My daughter lied to me, or rather, avoided telling me something she should have told me. I felt that…
Our Vacation Self
Have you ever noticed that we seem to have a “vacation self” and an “every day self”? What happens to us when we go on vacation? I remember my surprise as a child watching my responsible and serious father turn into a happy and relaxed human being when he was on vacation. I have one…
No Mothers Out There
No Mothers The search for Mother has ended. The story of Abandonment is over. The too-good-mother has vaporized into the idea that she was. No mothers are forthwith. No mothers on order. No mothers in back pockets, to pull out at eleventh hours, when all seems lost. No surrogate mothers. No hand me down mothers….
Beyond the Labels of Right and Wrong
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. – Rumi This frequently quoted poem brings up an interesting question: Can we ever truly know the motivations others had when they did something or didn’t do something? Can we ever claim they are wrong and we are right? We…
Protecting Our Inner Child
Have you ever allowed yourself to be open and vulnerable with somebody only to find that your feelings were met with judgment, ridicule, or another response that made you feel unloved? I have. It has been a week during which several clients and friends needed to hear from me. “How does your little girl /…
The Five Love Languages
Are you sometimes wondering if your partner really loves you because he or she doesn’t seem to be expressing it? The truth is that there is no right way to express love. There are five love languages we all use for connection, some with more skill and enjoyment, others with less. We can learn to speak our partner’s primary language(s) of affection to strengthen our relationship.
Life Changes
Life changes, such as a birth or a death, getting married, getting divorced or even moving house have a way of “throwing us off our routine”. We need to make a new start, find the equilibrium again. These events have a way of shaking our beliefs and challenging the way we think and feel. Some…
Responsibility for Co-Creating ALL Our Experiences
Mother’s Day—like Christmas—seems to be one of those days which are heavy with expectations and emotions. When asking my clients how their mother’s day weekend unfolded, it didn’t surprise me all that much that a few people experienced disappointment when their own limiting beliefs surfaced. Those beliefs range from “I am not appreciated” to “I…