Emotional connections are the glue that ties us to others and holds our relationships together. Sharing and receiving emotions is the fuel that keeps our love relationships going. A romantic relationship rests upon the vulnerable emotional connections we allow. When we have learned to be emotionally avoidant, we cut ourselves off from what makes life full and joyful.
Blog
Marriage After Baby Arrives – Will It Ever Be the Same Again?
Many couples wonder if their marriage can and will stay the same after they have had children. Now is the phase in the marriage when the romantic love experienced in the honeymoon period needs to be replaced by a more mature form of love. New parents need skills to cope with the changes and keep their marriage strong. Here are some things you can do.
Why Fear of Anger and Aggression is Costly in Our Relationships
We know how uncontrolled anger and aggression can be destructive in our professional and private lives. However, when we learn to fear the power of our aggression and disown that energy completely, we are stuck in non-action. Aggression paired with desire and courage is a fabulous catalyst for change. Read about Rick and Florence and how they learned that anger and aggression are not just necessary to be in touch with for professional success but also for intimacy and closeness in their marriage.
Concerns People Have When Starting Couples Coaching
Starting with a couples therapist or relationship coach can be terrifying. Taking this step requires courage. Here are some common concerns new clients have.
Are You a Wave? – Understanding Attachment Styles PART 2
Stan Tatkin has coined the term “wave” for tendencies generally described as an anxious ambivalent attachment style. While an “islandish” person fears loss of self and loss of their independence, the “wave” develops a fear of losing the relationship. Their fear is of being rejected, left or abandoned. They worry that they are too much or too needy. Like a wave coming in and going out, they go back and forth between wanting to connect and fearing rejection. That often comes from a parenting style where the parent was loving at times and preoccupied at other times.
Are You An “Island”? – Understanding Attachment Styles PART 1
Stan Tatkin has coined the term “island” for tendencies generally described as an anxious-avoidant attachment. Do either you or your partner have “islandish” tendencies: needing space, being more independent or even being a bit of a loner? “Islands” also tend to focus on their intellect and rational discussions instead of comfortably talking about their feelings or their partner’s.
Marriage Is…
I had the honour of officiating the wedding of two very dear clients and an opportunity to share some thoughts about marriage.
What Is a Dealbreaker Versus a Workable Problem?
In every partnership, there are conflicts and unsolvable problems that require dialogues and compromises. How do you recognize a workable problem from a dealbreaker? When is it time to call it quits?
How to Develop Secure Attachment as an Adult
What is going on in our adult relationships is directly connected to our early childhood attachment experiences. Even if you have learned an avoidant, ambivalent, or disorganized attachment style, “we never lose our inherent capacity for secure attachment” (Diane Poole Heller). Our close, loving relationships offer the perfect realm to develop secure attachment skills with our partner.
How Do We Rebuild Trust?
Trust and commitment are two fundamental pillars of a strong relationship. If faith in each other has been damaged, it needs to be strengthened or rebuilt again. Here are the main steps that a couple can consistently take to get back onto the path of mutual trust.
The Five Most Common Fights and How to Handle Them
Some fights are not at all what they seem. What we are fighting about is not the real trigger. A fight could be about underlying beliefs and feelings, childhood projections, fear of loss, or value differences. Here are 5 common types of fights according to relationship coach and author Jayson Gaddis.
How Agreements Strengthen Our Relationships
Relationships can be tricky at times. When we go through stressful periods, it is enormously helpful to have specific agreements to figure out a challenge as a team. Agreements that both people commit to, increase the strength and longevity of a relationship.
