PSYCH-K® And Getting Yourself Online

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In recent months, people all over the world have been reshaping how we work and learn. Even those of us who haven’t felt the need before, have been catapulted into using a variety of online portals to connect and meet with colleagues and friends, to buy groceries and other products, to learn virtually or to offer our own services online.

David Anderson

My friend and fellow coach, Dave Anderson, invited me to join his perfectly timed new venture of encouraging speakers, coaches and other service providers to build their online presence. Dave himself is an inspiring speaker, musician and—together with his business partner Blake Fleischacker—a leader of school programs focusing on anti-bullying and on teaching kids to be safe, smart and kind online. Now, he has designed a program, “Get Your A$$ Online!” to help entrepreneurs establish an online business presence and earn money virtually.

He asked me to join the first session of his mastermind group this week as a belief change coach. It was an honour to meet seven entrepreneurs who are now embarking on the next step in their journey. The participants are looking for connection and mutual learning to generate action and share their visions with the world. This mastermind group is about support, accountability and encouragement.

As one part of Dave’s year-long coaching program, he is offering every participant a belief change session with me. During that session we will examine individual limiting subconscious beliefs that are holding that person back from achieving their goals with ease and confidence.

The doubts and underlying beliefs that hold us back tend to be individual, but some negative beliefs that might come up could be:

  • What if I cannot handle the technology? (I am not good with technology. It is hard for me to learn something new. Etc.)
  • What if people don’t want to pay for what I have to offer? (I am not good enough. I am not providing enough value. I won’t be able to move my existing business online. I am not likable enough. Etc.)
  • What if I can’t make the money I need/want? (I am not worthy of financial abundance. I am not good at making money. I can’t make the money I need doing what I love. Etc.)
  • What if I give up? (I get distracted. I have given up in the past. I am a quitter. I am not persistent enough to follow through.)
  • What if I put myself out there and embarrass myself? (It is not safe to be seen / to be different / to try something new.)
  • What if I put all this time and energy in and I fail? (I always fail. It is embarrassing to fail. Etc.)
  • What if I get incredibly successful and busy with this online venture? (Being too successful will affect my relationships negatively. People will be jealous. I won’t have time anymore. Etc.)

 

Have you ever tried to change your beliefs through affirmations alone? How long did that take and how effective was that? We usually need many repetitions to create lasting changes on a conscious level.

And what about willpower? We can achieve a lot through determination and willpower, but our subconscious mind is a million times stronger than our conscious mind. It is like a sumo wrestler in a wrestling match with a child. Unless we get the sumo wrestler on our side, the match is pretty much lost.

As Bruce Lipton explains, our conscious mind is like a 40-bit computer processor, that can process and manage 40 nerve impulses per second, while our subconscious mind is a super-computer with a 40-million-bit processor, that manages 40 million nerve impulses per second.

In other words, while the conscious mind can process 40 bits of information, the subconscious can process 40 million bits. Our conscious mind only controls a small percentage of all our actions, while 95-99% of our actions are due to our subconscious programs, our beliefs based on our past experiences, traumas, ideas and values.

How do we get into our subconscious mind to change those beliefs that we are often not even aware of?

Bruce Lipton

Bruce Lipton summarizes the four ways of rewriting subconscious programming:

  1. Shock

For example, a belief like “Life is safe for me” can suddenly change to the opposite when we experience a traumatic event like an accident or loss.

  1. Repetition

Affirmations are a way of repeating a new belief over and over again until the subconscious agrees.

  1. Hypnosis

In a normal waking state of consciousness, our brain wave activity is in the beta range. Through hypnosis, we can access alpha and theta brain waves and access the subconscious mind with beneficial suggestions.

  1. Energy Psychology / Belief Change Modalities

Belief Change modalities, like PSYCH-K® or the Shadow Energetics® Belief Change Process, are equivalent to super-learning and are undoubtedly the fastest way of changing a belief. You can rewrite a belief program in 5-10 minutes.

Even though PSYCH-K®, originated by Rob Williams in early 1989, has been around for 30 years now, it is still is a bit of an “insider tip” when you want to change your subconscious mind.

Bruce Lipton calls PSYCH-K “an energy-based psychological treatment system” (The Biology of Belief) and recommends it as one way of changing your belief system. In fact, both PSYCH-K® and Shadow Energetics, developed by my friend Darryl Gurney, are energy psychology techniques which allow us to effectively shift our beliefs at a subconscious level.

When I first learned PSYCH-K® in the spring of 2006, my background at that point was in hypnosis to help my clients reach their conscious goals. I hypnotized them, and taught them self-hypnosis, to be able to continue certain suggestions at home, but I wondered if there was a faster and more efficient way of changing our beliefs and seeing the results right away. There is! PSYCH-K® and Shadow Energetics both allow us to change a particular belief in just a few minutes.

“PSYCH” stands for “Psyche” and the “K” for Kinesiology. Applied Kinesiology, also referred to as “muscle testing” or “energy testing”, allows us, whether we use PSYCH-K® or the belief change process from Shadow Energetics, to communicate with our Subconscious Mind and our Higher Self (called the Superconscious Mind by Rob Williams).

We cannot say something that our subconscious believes to be a lie without experiencing a weaker muscle response—compared to when we are expressing something our subconscious deems to be true. That is extremely fortunate for us, because it allows us to determine what our subconscious really agrees with. Once we have detected that a certain beneficial belief is not held at a subconscious level, we can ask permission (through the muscle testing) to make a change and to program or establish this more supportive belief.

To ensure safe physical distancing, I am right now offering all my sessions exclusively online. If you have come to see me in person and you have experienced me muscle testing (energy testing) you to determine your subconscious beliefs, you might wonder how this works online. Thankfully, it is possible for me to energy test for you. You will go through the belief change processes at your end as I demonstrate them via zoom. To read some client reviews for the online work, please click here.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

Check out

Dave Anderson’s 

30 Day Challenge to Get Your A$$ Online

or reach out to him on Facebook.

What Is Your Story?

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Do you like stories about relationships? I love them. Lately, we have been watching old seasons of the sitcom “Modern Family”. It felt like we needed some good laughs. Some seasons are of course better than others, but what I really appreciate about this show is that the characters, even though stereotypical, are easy to sympathize with. They are human, every single one of them, and they take turns being the one who learns a lesson, just like in real life. Nobody has it all quite together and this show reminds us that we are lovable with all our flaws, vanities, insecurities and dreams.

Due to the mockumentary-style of the show, we get insights into the character’s thoughts about themselves and their loved ones. Thus “Modern Family” also illustrates well how we all run a story of who we were in the past, who we are in the present and who we can be in the future, and how our family plays a part in shaping that story. The show provides different perspectives of the same situation or same person and demonstrates that we are not stuck with one view of things.

Our personal life story is never just a summary of facts and events. We as the narrator cannot help but interpret what happened. What is essential is how we integrate the facts and events internally into a coherent story which has characters and a plot line that weaves it all together and gives meaning to the events. Our story, as we tell it in our heads and to others, becomes an essential part of our identity.

Years ago, I had a young client whose story I have told many times as a powerful example for how we do not need to let our story limit who we are. She was the youngest of three siblings. When she was little, her family had a car accident. Her dad died and her mom became wheel-chair-bound and experienced chronic pain. Life was safe and comfortable one moment, and suddenly became a huge struggle. My client could easily have told a story of adversity and hardship. She could have focused on the loss and sacrifice. Nonetheless, she was positive and felt that her experience was not a misfortune but had helped her become who she was. All three siblings cherished their family and supported each other. They worked hard, became professionally successful, and adapted a great attitude towards life. All three of them chose to tell empowering life stories rather than disempowering ones.

But it is not just the tough stories that invite us to shift from a victim story to an empowering one. Sometimes it is the story of a so called “easy start in life” that leave us feeling undeserving. I have heard people tell me “I had two loving parents, who provided well financially and allowed me to explore my passions. I got to do sports, arts and music. My parents weren’t rich but supportive. I had an easy start in life. I never had to overcome anything. Who am I to be a role model to others?”

In my experience, everybody experiences some hardship at some point in their life. Some people as children, some as young adults, others in their 40s or 60s. It is important not to let your story hold you back. The same applies to the “I had an easy start in life” story as to a “hardship” story. How you connect the simple facts with a central theme and what meaning you give the events, is completely up to you.

Before we can potentially change our story, we need to discover what story we have been telling in our heads and to others. As a belief change coach, I work with beliefs and stories on a regular basis. We can explore how our stories are serving us, but also how they are holding us back. Our stories always reflect the beliefs we have internalized about ourselves, our relationships, other people and the world in general.

What’s your story? What is the plot and what are the main characters? Do you see yourself as the hero or villain, as the victim or the fighter? If you are willing to dig a bit deeper, you might be surprised which positive and also which limiting patterns you can discover.

In her book “Loving Bravely”, Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, suggests an illuminating exercise of creating a table of contents for your life story. These are the questions she asks to discover the patterns:

  • What is the title of your entire life story?
  • What chapters are there and how will you title those chapters?
  • Then fill in the details: Who are the major characters? Who has stood in your corner, who has presented you with challenges?
  • What are the central conflicts or major themes in your life?
  • What have been your most impactful lessons?
  • What are your favourite chapters and why?
  • In what ways have you been blessed?
  • Select 3-5 patterns or themes that represent your core issues and capture your life so far.
  • Now select 3-5 themes that you would like to have captured in the upcoming chapters of your life. What needs to be shifted?

 

If you want to explore your story or change your limiting subconscious beliefs, please contact

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Right now, due to COVID-19, I have shifted all my sessions to

Online Sessions

Please click on the link and read these testimonials from individuals and couples about their resent zoom sessions with me.

If you are still unsure afterwards, you can start with a

free phone consultation.

Doing the Best That We Can

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As we had into another week of social distancing measures, I wonder if any of this sounds familiar to you?

“I am so tired of hearing how this COVID-19 situation is a blessing. I am spiritual but I swear I will kill the next person who tells me that I should be thankful that we are all healthy and that it gives me more time with my husband and kids! I feel constantly anxious and overwhelmed, trying to juggle work and the kids. My work hours and my pay has been cut, but I am supposed to be grateful that I still have a job. I might get fired any day! I can’t sleep at night and during the day I walk around in a mental fog. I have lost it several times with my kids and husband. I am a horrible mother and wife! And the house constantly looks like a bomb exploded. I’ve put on 15 pounds because I don’t get to exercise much, and eating is my only excuse to stop and take a break. All I wanted for Mother’s Day was a break and to forget about this nightmare. My husband did not even manage to get some flowers or make a card with the kids. I know he is tired and overwhelmed, too, but I just wanted one day of being appreciated. I got in my car and just left them. I drove to the lake to just sit there by myself. I feel horrible for not having my shit together!”

This client of mine echoes what so many are experiencing. During the first three weeks of social distancing and isolation in our homes, we might have still coped quite well, but now we’ve started to realize that this is not a sprint, but rather a marathon to get through. We can certainly say that the entire world has been affected and changed forever, and in some ways, it helps that we are all supposedly in the same boat. Whether we still have a job or not is not due to individual failure, but often luck. There are—at least in Canada—emergency rescue benefits by the government that provide some relief. Yet, despite supposedly being it the same boat, we have to be aware of comparisons and giving advice to others, because the effects of the world-wide COVID-19 pandemic are quite different for each individual person.

For some of us, it has locked us in with family members that we never had to spend so much time with before. Having young children is especially challenging right now. We have limited privacy and outside activities, and it naturally brings out the issues and magnifies the triggers in all our relationships. As a relationship coach, I would be the first one to tell you that this is an opportunity to work through issues, but that is not always easy or possible. I have seen positive stories of couples taking this time to work through their issues and teenagers opening up and interacting with their parents, but there are as many people who are stuck with a partner not wanting to do the work or a teenager not ready to connect. Being locked in together also does not allow us to escape the anxiety or depression our partner or family member might be experiencing. That can be quite draining. It leaves us helpless and discouraged.

For others, this situation has brought the experience of too much space because they live alone and are going through intense loneliness and grief for their situation as a single person or widow(er). For others yet, it has brought a tragic loss, for example by not being able to be present when a loved one passed away.

Our experiences range from simple inconveniences to financial loss to relationship challenges to personal tragedies. The situation has allowed some of us to experience a much-needed reprieve from a life that was too busy before, for others it has become a desperate attempt to keep everything normal and to adapt to never expected circumstances.

Accordingly, our feelings range from finding relief or inspiration in this unusual situation to feeling depressed and anxious. Even though we are all in a storm on the sea, we are not really in the same boat. Some of us are in little canoes, others in little motorboats with only so much fuel on board and others, in big solid yachts. We must not make the mistake of comparing our experience with the experience of someone in a different boat.

One of the most common denominators seem to be that these tough times bring out the Inner Critic voice in many of us. This is that nagging voice inside, which is trying to protect us by letting us know in which ways we are “faulty” or not doing enough. No matter how well we are doing, the Inner Critic will find something that apparently needs to be improved. And the Inner Critic loves situations of adversity, for example when we get a bad grade, fail to reach a goal, gain some weight, lose a relationship, when others seem to be doing better, or simply when we are tired, exhausted or feeling vulnerable. And, oh boy, does it love the present situation with all the unpredictability and changes!

In a phone conversation with a good friend and fellow practitioner a couple of weeks ago, he mentioned that he has been noticing that the Inner Critic seems to be coming up in all his sessions right now. That is exactly what I have observed for my client sessions and—as I just fully realized—for myself as well.

Over the last two months, I have been going through a whole variety of emotions myself. I have felt worry and fear for my own situation as well as for my children; I have felt annoyed and angry at family members who seem to be better off due to having a stable job and paid-off mortgage and who—meaning well—kept sending photos of joyfully working in their garden; I have felt exhausted and resigned just getting through another day; and I have, of course, also found amazing gifts and opportunities in this situation and had many days where I felt positive and inspired. But in order to see those gifts and appreciate them, I had to be my own coach and talk myself through releasing stuck emotions and shifting my perspective. Some days I was doing my best to go with the flow while breathing through and meditating on the more vulnerable emotions which the unknown always triggers for us. Other days I did not do so well and would not have gotten out of bed if I didn’t have to, thanks to my side job forcing me to get up at 5:00 a.m. most mornings.

Over the last two months, I have shifted all my coaching sessions to Zoom and I have had lovely sessions with individuals and couples, but many of my clients have lost their jobs and have been postponing sessions. Instead of coaching, I found myself getting busy with German lessons. At the beginning, I was looking to fill my time by accepting many more lessons than I usually do at the online school I work for on the side, but after a few weeks, I also had private students reaching out wanting more classes now that they’re stuck at home. Suddenly, I was totally booked up with teaching German classes and coming up with new grammar exercises for my German website in any free moment.

Now, you would think that my Inner Critic would be happy with this. Yet even though that inner voice was acknowledging that I was productive and earning money, it was also finding fault with all of this. I found myself thinking, “I am not putting enough time and energy towards my coaching business”, “I should write another blog, record another meditation etc. to support my clients better”, “I should reach out more to individual clients to see how they are doing at this time”, “I should network more with my colleagues” and even “I should have time to clean the house and declutter, what is wrong with me that I don’t?”

From some of my friends and clients, I have heard over the last few weeks that they are using this time to organize the cupboards, declutter, paint or renovate the house or work in the garden. And, as we know, the Inner Critic loves comparisons with others, never in our favour of course.

Over a week ago, I was on a break from teaching online classes and enjoying the sun outside. At one point, as I glanced over at our neighbour’s backyard, I couldn’t help commenting on how impressed I was by all the work they were putting into their garden and saying I should do the same. Our neighbour made a simple but wise comment. “We all do what we can at this time”. I realized how the Inner Critic voice has not just been plaguing my clients but also apparently myself, nagging about using this “break” to get things done.

So here is my new mantra for this week, or how about this entire month, whenever the Inner Critic voice pipes up: “I do my best” (on the inhale) “and my best is always good enough” (on the exhale).

 

Online Sessions 

Please click on the link and read these testimonials

from individuals and couples about their recent zoom sessions with me.

If you are still unsure afterwards, you can start with a

free phone consultation.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The COVID-19 Situation Challenges Our Beliefs, Emotions and Relationships. How PSYCH-K® and Other Tools Can Help.

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The COVID-19 situation has disrupted our daily routines, affected our finances and is challenging our relationships. The crisis has changed everything we used to consider “normal”. We are grieving losses, experiencing anxiety, navigating often tumultuous emotions and bumping up against limiting beliefs. As we experience the uncertainty of unemployment and potential illness, we might be reaching for our partner, hoping for comfort and support. Yet, most couples have never learned how to communicate vulnerable emotions and hold each other in fear. To have a stress-reducing conversation, rather than taking on our partner’s fear and stress, has become a more valuable skill than ever before.

This exceptional situation is an opportunity to work on our fears, learn how to release our emotions and improve our relationships, especially our closest partnerships or marriages. Our old ways of being are currently being torn down and it is time to ask, what do we want to believe and feel as we are going through this period? What do we want our life and our relationships to look like? And which habits, beliefs and repeating patterns do we want to change?

We get to make that decision and work towards our relationship dreams and life goals. Instead of waiting for the crisis to be over, we can choose kindness, patience, compassion and successful communication now. At a time when many couples are home together working in close quarters, it is important to create a routine, maintain boundaries, design compromises, learn how to respect each other’s needs, respond lovingly to bids of attention and most importantly, have supportive conversations. Dr. John Gottman has designed the “stress reducing conversation”, in which both partners take turns speaking about a conflict outside of their relationship and listening to their partner. I find that it makes a huge difference when we can centre ourselves and speak and listen from the heart. When one of us is emotionally activated, it is up to our partner to hold that space of compassionately listening. While one partner shares what has happened and how they feel about it, the rules for the listener are as follows:

  1. to suspend any judgment
  2. to validate and empathize with our partner’s experience
  3. to side with our partner (or at least, to not side with the other person in the conflict)
  4. to remember that our partner is whole, complete and resourceful and to refrain from “fixing” their problem for them

Image by Anna_Sunny from Pixabay 

In order to successfully hold these conversations, we need to be aware of our own fears, triggers and limiting beliefs. We need to know how to self-regulate and how to not let our own emotions spill over into the moment when our partner needs us to support them.

Here are some examples for the most common subconscious beliefs that both my clients and myself have had to balance lately by using PSYCH-K® or the belief change process from Shadow Energetics.

 

REGARDING THE (FINANCIAL) SITUATION:

  1. Even though (financial) uncertainty is a part of my life right now, I know and trust that I am safe / taken care of / financially resourceful etc. at all times.
  2. I relax and accept when things are temporarily on hold, being grateful that I now have the time to take care of myself.
  3. It is okay for me to slow down and enjoy my time with my family.
  4. I embrace the current situation as a gift to slow down / to focus on my relationships / to find new financial avenues etc.
  5. I let go and trust that all my needs are abundantly met in this current situation.
  6. I do my best and my best is always good enough.

 

REGARDING HEALTH:

  1. I take good care of myself by giving my body enough sleep, physical movement and healthy nutrition.
  2. I keep my immune system strong through rest and exercise.
  3. I do everything in my power to stay healthy and beyond that, I let go and trust.
  4. I enjoy the slowing down and I relax into a different rhythm.

 

Image by Anrita1705 from Pixabay

REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS:

  1. I easily and effortlessly communicate my needs to my partner.
  2. Both of us working from home is smooth and easy for us.
  3. We naturally switch between being connected and focusing on work.
  4. Each time my partner is distracted, I remember that he/she is simply focused on work.
  5. We make time for each other (and the children) at the end of the day to connect and talk.
  6. It is safe for me to be vulnerable and share my fears with my partner.
  7. I am good at self-soothing when I feel emotionally activated.
  8. It comes naturally to me to be present for my partner.
  9. I listen non-judgmentally and acknowledge my partner’s feelings and fears.
  10. We creatively bring some novelty into our relationship by trying out new activities we can do at home.

 

REGARDING FAMILY:

  1. Having time with my kids and my spouse is a gift for all of us.
  2. We are adaptable and creative as we adjust to the new situation.
  3. I embrace the new situation and enjoy every moment with my partner / my family.
  4. I am patient with myself and all family members as we go through this time of uncertainty.

 

If you have taken part in one of my workshops or perhaps learned how to release emotions in an individual session, remember to use the EMOTIONAL RELEASE PROCESS on a regular basis. Here is a list of especially common emotions that the current situation might have triggered for us. You can of course also work with other lists of emotions, for example the one you would have received during the Shadow Energetics Workshop. If you want to learn what to do with your emotions, change limiting beliefs and clear out fears, please reach out for a free phone consultation.

 

TRIGGERED EMOTIONS:

Feeling…

 

1.    afraid

2.    angry

3.    anxious

4.    bitter

5.    confused

6.    defeated

7.    defenseless

8.    depressed

9.    deprived

10. desperate

11. destitute

12. diminished

13. disadvantaged

14. discouraged

15. distressed

16. fearful

 

  

17. forgotten

18. frustrated

19. grief

20. helpless

21. homesick

22. inadequate

23. insecure

24. isolated

25. lacking

26. like a failure

27. lonely

28. lost

29. out of control

30. overwhelmed

31. panicked

32. pessimistic

  

33. powerless

34. regretful

35. sad

36. shameful

37. shocked

38. sorrow

39. suffocated

40. terrified

41. uncertain

42. unprotected

43. unsafe

44. unsupported

45. victimized

46. vulnerable

47. worried

48. worthless

 

Online Sessions

for Individuals and Couples

If you have lost your job or you are financially struggling because you are self-employed, reach out and talk to me about a discount, especially if you are a previous client. I am here to help you and your family through this time.

If you are a health care worker or first responder, your session is complimentary right now, out of admiration and deep gratitude for what you are going through right now.

 

You can start with a free phone consultation.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

What Is This COVID-19 Induced Activity Frenzy Really About?

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Over the last ten days, I’ve noticed how my e-mail inbox is literally flooded with double the number of e-mails than it used to be. Every single company is not just letting us know how they are handling the COVID-19 situation, which is good, but also offering discounts on clothing and products that we really do not need more of right now.

My inbox is also overflowing with e-mail offers for online get-togethers of all sorts: online games, movie nights, network meetings, community meetings, social gatherings and there seems no end to this. How can a social zoom gathering of my pickleball group—who without a doubt is a lovely group that I very much enjoy exercising with on the court twice a week—possibly be a substitution? I play pickleball because it is a fun way to move, so mostly for my health. It seems it would make much more sense to set the time aside for myself to get on my stationary bike, do some Yoga or go for a walk to stay fit and healthy.

Are we so afraid of our own company and the company of our loved ones that we need to flee to online games with strangers and online zoom chats with our sports groups?

While it’s important not to underestimate the immense value that we can find in connecting with people online to maintain a social life and keep from going stir-crazy, especially if we live alone, it’s more important than ever that we take the time for the opposite as well. What would it be like to take more time to slow down, feel the stillness, meditate and reflect on what is going on for us, rather than losing ourselves in meaningless distractions?

In some way, we are, of course, all fighting for a sense of normality. We all still need to make an income and, I am grateful that we can work through Zoom. There are great possibilities and gifts in this experience of having to adapt to the current situation. At the same time, I see among my colleagues a productivity frenzy as they are moving lectures, groups and workshops online as fast as they can. And, I freely admit this, I felt myself being pulled into this for a bit. Above the uncertainty about the future, that we all naturally feel in these times of a worldwide crisis, I also felt the pressure to be that coach who has it all together and just moves everything online right away.

Do we really need to convert our entire overly busy life to a virtual life right now, or have we missed out on an important hidden opportunity, when we do that? What is really behind this reluctance to take some time off? Is it the companies, organizations and sports clubs who fear they will cease to exist if they don’t go with the times and stay in touch with people?

I feel that it is important to give ourselves and our children time to emotionally and mentally adjust to the new circumstances, to ensure we don’t overload ourselves with online activities in an attempt to simulate normalcy. Let’s not forget that the world has for most of us only changed this dramatically in the last four weeks.

Six weeks ago, I was still on vacation with one of my daughters and now she is out of a job, and so is my other daughter. In February, I had clients come in daily, walking through the kitchen and living room area and downstairs to my home office. Now the kitchen and family room areas are in need of tidying up because we have become too comfortable with just letting things be. Or have we? Is this perhaps a time to enjoy that we do not need to go anywhere or have the house presentable for someone coming to us? And how can we cherish taking some time off when we are so busy recreating our lives online?

I am not saying that some of these online events aren’t helpful. The ones which feed your soul will be different from the ones that resonate with me. But more than ever, we need to be aware of not getting caught up in an activity and productivity frenzy. A lot of us have been too busy running around from event to event, as it was. My schedule was always full, and I am sure so was yours. And this applies even more so to families with younger kids. This is an opportunity to slow down and to be in the present moment. It is a chance to feel and to be aware. It is a time to find calm, peace and our inner centre. It is a time to stay fit, laugh and play games—not only online, but especially with the people closest to us who are in quarantine or self-isolation next to us: the family members who we are all seeing far more frequently now than we normally can.

One of my online German students in Switzerland, who I have always connected with once a week via Zoom even before COVID-19, said to me a couple of days ago that she didn’t have the time to do her homework because she chose to meditate every day and focus on staying calm and centred in the midst of everybody’s anxiety. My reply was, “Good for you!” How important is her German progress compared to the importance of understanding the messages we are getting through this crisis?

This period right now is a grief experience. We are experiencing different losses, concrete ones like the loss of a job and less concrete ones like a loss of safety and security. In reality, life was never predictable, but it felt more so before the COVID-19 pandemic. There is no right or wrong way to grieve! Grief means that we need to allow our individual grieving to proceed in its own way and time.

It is okay if you wake up in the middle of the night, not able to go back to sleep. It is okay if you are struggling to establish a daily fitness routine at home or move your classes or business online instantly. Given time and some grief work, not just our brains, but also our hearts will adapt. We will find completion of what we have lost, and peace in the new situation and with the new opportunities.

But what is most of all needed right now is some self-compassion. Ignore those colleagues or friends who are posting on social media about how well they are adapting or who are flooding your e-mail inbox with distractions. Remember that there is Facebook, and then there is real life, in which we don’t have to hide behind happy pictures or success stories. It is okay to take as long as it takes to adjust to the new normal! In fact, we will adjust faster, when we do not get lost in unnecessary distractions.

So which additional online invitations have I said yes to this week and will continue saying yes to? I have said yes to a Facetime with a young friend who had a daughter last year and who I usually visit once a month. It feeds my soul to see how the little one, who just learned to walk six weeks ago, has changed. I have said yes to regularly meeting online with a former student, who has become a brilliant fellow belief change coach himself, to do exchanges. We as coaches also need coaches or colleagues, as much for our own sanity as our clients do.

I will, of course, continue to connect with my dad, my uncle and my aunt, who are all in their eighties. Their love, wisdom and perspectives after having experienced other crises in their lives are nurturing and enlightening. Letting them know that I love and treasure them is one of the most important things I can do right now. I will continue to connect with other family members and close friends, but I will do it in a way that meets my needs. Rather than spending yet more time at the computer, I can speak to them on the phone while I go for a walk or sit in the backyard, which hopefully will soon be possible.

How different have even our walks become! It won’t be long, and we will all be wearing masks to protect others when we go out for walks or grocery trips, and I am all for that. As the world changes, we will need to relearn how to interact with others under these new circumstances. A nod, a smile and a friendly greeting are still possible with social distancing and more necessary than ever. Knowing how we want to be with each other, all begins with learning how to be with ourselves, our own feelings and fears. We cannot do that if we get swept up in a frenzy of online activity.

This is the time to wrap our mind around the fact that this experience will change us and our world forever. It is not going to be completely forgotten after a few weeks, and things won’t immediately, if ever, jump back to the way they were. Let’s rather acknowledge that we will be changed forever. It is the time to decide how we want to be changed for the better, when it comes to our relationships and our everyday life.

 

from April 1 to April 14

online sessions

for individuals and couples

who are financially struggling

20% off

If you have lost your job or you are struggling because you are self-employed, reach out and talk to me, especially if you are a previous client. I am here to help you and your family through this time.

If you are a health care worker or first responder, your session is complimentary right now, out of admiration and deep gratitude for what you are going through right now.

 

 

You can start with a free phone consultation.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Online Sessions During COVID-19 Crisis

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The COVID-19 crisis has brought us lots of fear and challenges all over the world. It has brought anxiety, pain and stress. It has shaken us up to rethink our healthcare systems, our ways of doing business, our society, and the impact our way of living has on our environment.

Because this time is shaking us up, it also brings us new opportunities. What comes to mind is the gift of more time that we are being gifted right now. Instead of running from one scheduled event to the next or commuting for hours every day, we have extra time now to connect with our families. We have time to relax and perhaps reflect and consider our habits and our schedule that is usually so full. This is an opportunity to experience a slowing down. It is also an opportunity to reflect about a better future with more sustainability, simpler and healthier food, more kindness, compassion, and caring and overall less stress. We are making changes to our lives right now, some of which might be beneficial to keep once the crisis is over.

The shut-down of large parts of our economy and of tourism all over the world is rough on all the affected industries and people working in these areas. At the same time, we are observing a significant reduction in greenhouse gasses and other pollution of our air, our land and our waters. Images from the Centre for Research on Energy and Clean Air (CREA), as well as satellite footage from NASA and the European Space Agency (ESA), show for example a significant decline in NO₂ emissions over the last two months, particularly over Italy and China. Perhaps this makes us contemplate keeping some of these ways of polluting less also after the crisis is over, to save our environment. COVID-19 brings us together on a global level. We are all affected, and we are all part of the solution. It is an opportunity to reconsider our societies and reorganize our way of doing things globally to have less of a detrimental impact on our planet.

One great opportunity the current restrictions and the practice of social distancing brings is to connect virtually in meetings, classrooms and individual sessions. How can we turn this time of challenges into a time of opportunities by connecting online? What if most of us could save all the time commuting and work from home? What if schools discovered new ways of teaching? What if my favourite therapist or coach is just a click away without me sitting in traffic to get to a session?

Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay

 

Like most coaches, I have shifted all my appointments to online sessions. I have always worked with clients who live further away by connecting through Skype or Zoom. In the past I already addressed the question, Can PSYCH-K® be done via Skype, Zoom or on the phone? Now I am also offering online session to you, if you live close by.

I have been teaching via the platform Zoom daily throughout the last few weeks and I am positively surprised how stable it is despite the increased number of people using it for meetings. But what is “Zoom”, you might ask, and how would you and I use it?

 

What is Zoom and How Does It Work?

Zoom is a web-based video conferencing tool that allows you and me to meet online, with or without video, very similar to connecting on Skype. Zoom offers a good quality video, audio and a wireless screen-sharing option, if I have a document to share with you. We can see each other and hear each other well. I can guide you through belief change processes using PSYCH-K® or Shadow Energetics, releasing emotions, an IFS process, a meditation, relaxation or even a hypnosis session. If you are used to me muscle testing you in person, you also know that I can simply stand-in for you and do the energy testing on my end.

 

Is it safe?

You get your own private login username and password for each session, which I will e-mail or text you. Zoom offers end-to-end secure encryption (using Advanced Encryption Standard AES-256) for video sessions. This helps ensure that the video session cannot be eavesdropped on or tampered with. In other words, only the host (myself) and the invited participant (yourself) has access to the video session. As an additional precaution, I have enabled the Zoom “Waiting Room” feature which means an attendee cannot join the video session unless the host (myself) admits them individually from the ‘waiting room’.

I also give you my assurance that no sessions with clients will be recorded. As a further assurance, you can verify this yourself because there would be a clear notification at the top left corner of the Zoom “window” if the Zoom video session was being recorded.

 

How Do I Get on Zoom?

  1. Go to zoom.us
  2. Click the “Join a Meeting” tab. You can find the tab on the top right corner of the homepage.
  3. When prompted, add your designated Meeting ID, which I will e-mail you prior to the session.
  4. We are connected at the agreed upon time!

 

 

Is a Zoom Session as good as an in-person Session?

I will let some of my clients answer this question by sharing their testimonials.

CLIENT REVIEWS:

Dave:

My name is Dave, and I’ve been working with Angelika for almost two years now. My sessions began with her at a very low point in my life. Angelika’s belief change coaching and emotional release counselling has literally transformed my life on both a personal and professional level. My work with Angelika has enabled me to heal from some devastating personal and family losses and, more recently, to successfully navigate a complete career change in mid-life!

On occasion, due to inclement weather, I’ve done remote video sessions with Angelika using my laptop. Admittedly, I was skeptical beforehand as to the benefit of an online session. However, I was amazed how adept Angelika was in adapting her belief change and emotional release exercises to an online setting so effectively.

So when Angelika suggested using Zoom video technology for our future sessions due to the ongoing COVID-19 crisis, I agreed without hesitation. Despite the sacrifices and inconveniences we are all currently undergoing, I feel very grateful for this video technology option that will allow me to continue my invaluable life coaching sessions with Angelika in the comfort of my own home.

– David W

 

Julia:

Work with Angelika has been a game changer in realizing my professional and personal potential for several years now. Having moved to Europe to continue with my MBA degree, I was determined not to lose this important tool in my development.

At first, I wondered if online sessions via zoom would have the same comfortable and enabling energy as the setting at Angelika’s?! But then I though to myself: “We will make it work. After all, technology has enabled so many advancements in our society.”. If patients can move their medical check-ups to telehealth format, then surely Greendoor Relaxation can follow in these footsteps.

My first Zoom session with Angelika was well set-up and seamless. In a matter of 15 minutes, I could not even tell the difference.

I quickly realized that this format also had advantages. First, I did not have to spend extra time commuting. Second, I was able to talk out of the comfort of my couch. Third, Angelika stepped in to muscle test whenever needed. All I had to do was relax and watch her do her “magic”. And that was great! I trusted that she is more experienced and attuned in receiving guidance for our sessions.

My personal call to action for all those who are wondering if Zoom session is the right format for Greendoor Relaxation: Give it a try! We are fortunate to have this choice.

– Julia T.

 

Tobias:

My wife and I have been seeing Angelika for marriage counselling for 9 months now. We usually purchase one of her packages and see her every 2-3 weeks. She has taught us to communicate differently, to be a team and to get through a challenging time with one of our kids. It has been very fortunate for us that Angelika also speaks German, so that my wife and I can speak in our mother tongue with each other during the sessions. Despite COVID-19 we wanted to continue our sessions. We are very satisfied with our first online appointment. Angelika was able to guide us and help us with an issue we were struggling to solve on our own. It was not much different from our usual sessions in her office. While the coronavirus pandemic continues, we will see Angelika via Zoom.

– Tobias M.

 

 

from April 1 to April 14

11/2 – 2 hour online sessions

for individuals and couples

20% off

If you have lost your job or you are financially struggling because you are self-employed, reach out and talk to me, especially if you are a previous client.

I am here to help you and your family through this time.

If you are in existing client, I am offering the option of shorter booster sessions in lieu of your regular two hour session during the months of April and May.

For health care workers or first responders, a session is complimentary right now.

 

Reach out for a free phone consultation.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Increase in Divorce Rates Due to COVID-19. How Can We Pull Together?

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A client of mine, challenged with her marriage right now, said to me a couple of days ago, that when the Coronavirus threat is over, there will be an increase of divorces. Her comment was based on an article from “the New Yorker”. The newspaper reports, “In Xi’an, the capital of Shaanxi Province, more than ten million people were placed under lockdown. When restrictions were eased, earlier this month, the city’s divorce rate spiked.” Psychologist and attorneys speak up and predict that the divorce rate will also rise in the rest of the world due to this stressful situation COVID-19 has brought us.

Image by Sally-Kay from Pixabay

As a relationship coach, I want to challenge that statement. Undoubtedly, like any crisis, this challenging time also brings issues to the surface that we can easier ignore at other times. But instead of resigning ourselves to the fate of getting a divorce, we have the choice to examine how we can use this time period to improve our relationships and especially our partnerships or marriages. Naturally, we are going through a period of adjustment as our work situation changes and most of our favourite free-time activities are cancelled. We need to be creative to meet our needs while staying at home. The issues in a relationship might resurface right now and force us to notice and address them. But we also now have more time together to do our couples work, due to the lack of outside distractions and activities.

The strength of our relationships depends on if we can successfully hold each other in the fear we feel. There are fewer outside influences to argue about right now, but a new kind of anxiety has come up. One upset client of mine shared that while she is home with the children, her husband still goes out to have a cup of coffee with clients. She is afraid to question this and “restrict” him, meanwhile she lives in unnecessary anxiety. Their situation requires agreements on what precautions to take and how contacts can be shifted temporarily to virtual contacts.

Another couple told me that they are arguing about how to disinfect the surfaces, wash the food, and how often and thoroughly to wash their hands. Our fear brings up our vulnerable parts and our protective parts. Our fearful parts are triggered more than ever right now and our protectors (protective parts) can look like a “Scolding Parent” or an “Attacker”, accusing our spouse of not caring enough to take more precautions. If you want to read more about our protective parts in our relationships, please got to my article “You Are My Valued Tor-Mentor”.

Operating from our protective parts engages us in conflicts with each other. How can we instead have empathy and compassion with our partner’s fears and show the willingness to negotiate acceptable compromises to reassure each other?

Being home together also requires boundaries and the balance between alone time and time together. It is now, more than ever, important to communicate well. One of the things that seems to work well for my family, is to create a routine and structure, even if it is an artificial one. Have a set time to get up and to go to bed, a time to eat, a time to work if you have work right now, a time to do yoga, or go for a walk and so on.

Image by Mabel Amber from Pixabay 

As human beings, we need to feel productive and useful. Some of my clients have told me that they are doing some de-cluttering and extra cleaning right now. Or they are engaged in creative activities that they have not had time for in a long while.

Part of establishing a daily routine is to determine how much time we are going to spend listening to the news or reading information on social networks. It is possible that you and your spouse, or family members you live with, are affected differently by the news and announcements. It requires figuring out what your individual needs are and respecting the differences. If you can go to different rooms or use headphones if you need to separate, do so regularly.

If you have small children, the routine and giving each other breaks from entertaining the children is even more important. Clear communication on when and how each of you is going to work and when you are spending time separately with the kids or as a family is imperative. Children need a structure even more than we do as adults. Decide what your daily routine is going to be and stick to it, so your kids have some predictability.

And don’t forget to enjoy this forced upon slowing down that is happening right now. Cherish each moment with each other. There is a lot of cooking, baking and playing games going on in our house. I don’t think I have played as much Cribbage in years as I have played during the last two weeks! My niece and her partner in Germany sent me photos of doing puzzles together while waiting for their test results. I’ve been hearing a lot of “finally we have time together” comments from extended family members and clients.

Puzzles, Cribbage, being together without rush… Without wanting to downplay COVID-19 being a real threat, it almost sounds a bit like a trip to the cottage in the summer, doesn’t it? I can’t help but wonder what we can learn and gain from this experience. When you contemplate the short-term and long-term benefits and advantages of what is unfolding right now, a lot of promising developments stand out.

Whole neighbourhoods are pulling together, offering each other help with the supplies individual families have—yes, the much laughed about toilet paper, for one. We are reaching out and phoning or texting family and friends we might not have talked to in a long time. It brings out kindness, compassion and taking care of each other. Despite or because of the fear we all feel, we continue to come together like never before.

What is happening right now is a general refocus on what is important: partnerships, family and relationships with others. The situation we find ourselves in due to COVID-19 is unprecedented, not only on an economic and societal level, but also for our family relationships. Self-isolation and extended time together are sometimes welcome and harmonious, other times they bring great challenges. But that is a good thing! When problems come to our attention, we can do something about them. The couple can work on it alone, or they can reach out to a coach or therapist.

Image by Gracini Studios from Pixabay 

Most of us coaches and counsellors are working remotely right now. A session through Zoom or Skype is as beneficial as a session in person. If the technology aspect makes you nervous, I understand, and I promise, that I will walk you through the steps to connect virtually.

As many of you are faced with uncertainty right now, I am offering an online session discount:

from April 1 to April 14

online sessions

for individuals and couples

20% off

For a start reach out for a free phone consultation.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Immune System Support

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Two days ago, I posted the article Self-Care Tips to Ease the COVID-19 Anxiety and shared a Meditation recording to help ease the anxiety while we are moving through the events of the COVID-19. I mentioned boosting our immune system through life enhancing emotions rather than getting caught up in anxiety.

Today, I want to share the article of my colleague Naturopathic Dr. Felicia Assenza from the Awakening Health Clinic in Burlington in regard to supporting our immune system. Felicia herself is in the in the high-risk group due to a pre-existing health condition, and I very much appreciate her levelheaded approach to the situation that we are currently faced with.

We are both here to support you through these challenging times.

You can reach Dr. Assenza through her website https://www.drfeliciaassenzand.com/ and book a virtual or phone appointment with her.

You can reach me to book a Zoom/Skype/phone appointment at 905-286-9466 or greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca.

 

 

Empowered Immune System Support

The news of the latest Coronavirus or COVID-19 seems to be spreading even faster than the virus itself, understandably bringing lots of fear and panic along with it. In times like these, it can be very easy to feel disempowered and helpless against this virus which seems to be popping up in every corner. My goal with this post is to help bring some calm to the situation, clear up some misinformation, and to provide you with some empowering tools to help support your immune system.

What is COVID-19?

You’ve likely heard lots of information and misinformation about the virus so far from various sources. Here’s a reliable source and helpful information sheet from the Ontario Ministry of Health that will hopefully clear up any misinformation.

How can I prevent COVID-19?

There are the standard ways of preventing the spread of infection that you may have seen in the news:

  • Wash your hands thoroughly and regularly
  • Stay home when you are sick
  • Avoid touching face and mucous membranes (nose, mouth, eyes, ears)

The above are definitely important ways of preventing the spread of infection. There are also some other things you can do that might not be as widely known. Below is a list of some simple things you can do right now to support your immune system so that if you do come in contact with the virus, your immune system will be armed and ready!

Vegetable Soups and Bone Broth

These are great ways to get lots of nutrients in that will help support your immune system and keep your vitality up. The more veggies you can get in the better. You can also add lots of garlic, onions, and oregano to these soups. As we’ll talk about later, these have some helpful anti-viral properties.

How to incorporate:

Check out my bone broth recipe. You can also use pre-made soup stock if you’re short on time or vegetable stock if you’re vegetarian. Always be mindful of ingredients though! Once you have the broth, just add veggies. Check out one of the many soup recipes on Yummly if you need some inspiration and guidance.

Mindful Time in Nature

Nature and mindfulness both play an important role in immune heath. We know that the stress hormone cortisol suppresses our immune system and there are innumerable studies showing that mindfulness and time in nature both reduce stress.

Getting out in nature also gives you a chance to get some fresh air, a change in scenery, and a shift in perspective which can be quite powerful when it is so easy to get caught up in the anxiety surrounding current events.

How to implement:

Go outside. It’s that simple. Maybe to the park down the street. Maybe your backyard. Maybe as much as your balcony or front porch. Just take a minute to be in the present moment and really connect with something bigger than yourself. This would also be a good time for any prayer or meditation practices you may have.

Socializing

This one is important and can easily be forgotten with all the self-isolation that is happening. Socialization, sense of community, and feeling connected is important for our immune system and overall health in general.

How to implement:

There are so many ways to implement this one. Call a friend, spend time with your pets, reach out to the neighbour you haven’t heard from in a while.

This one is incredibly powerful because by reaching out to someone, not only are you supporting your immune system but you’re giving them a little boost too…two for one!

Vitamin D

Also known as the sunshine vitamin and probably needed by most Canadians at this time of year. It not only helps boost mood and support the immune system but has actually been investigated for its role in preventing upper respiratory infections (1).

How to implement:

Talk to your Naturopathic Doctor about the appropriate dose for you.

What happens if I do get sick?

It happens, no need to panic. You’ve likely overcome a viral infection or two in the past, there’s a good chance you can do it again. Take this as an opportunity to relax, recharge, catch up on Netflix, catch up with friends, family, pets etc.

If you, like me, are one of the lucky ones in the high risk group (e.g. elderly or have pre-existing health concerns), know that we’ve also overcome viruses in the past and there is lots we can do to help support the immune and respiratory systems if we do get sick. We may just need to act a little quicker and be a little extra diligent in taking care of ourselves.

Below are a couple of my favourite ways to tackle an upper respiratory tract infection (like the cold or flu) as soon as it starts.

Onions and Garlic

Onions and garlic contain anti-viral organosulfur compounds such as quercitin and allicin that can help fight off a virus and are not only generally safe for consumption but also have lots of nutrients and other health benefits as well. They have both been shown to help shorten the duration of colds and flus caused by other viruses in the past (2).

How to implement:

Add them to dishes, make sure your chopping them up fresh

Garlic infused olive oil

Adding raw garlic and onions to salads

Oregano

Oregano contains carvacarol which has been investigated for its antiviral properties (2). I’ve seen it work well in helping to shorten the duration of a cold or flu and to help clear coughs.

How to implement:

While adding oregano to meals is a great idea, this one is most potent in its essential oil form

I generally recommend taking oil of oregano at first signs of cold or flu

Respiratory Herbs

There are many herbs that have been traditionally used to clear colds, flus, and especially coughs. St. Francis Herb Farm makes a wonderful blend called Respirafect that I have found to be very effective when taken right at the first signs of illness, especially for those who are at higher risk of pneumonia or bronchitis.

How to implement:

Take at first signs of cold or flu. Talk to your Naturopathic Doctor about dosing and safety.

I hope that brings some calm and clarity to the current situation and I’m always here to answer questions or address concerns.

We always take precautions at the clinic to prevent the spread of infection but if you have concerns and would prefer to have your appointment virtually or over the phone please let me know. Please also let me know if you are experiencing signs of the cold or flu before coming in for an appointment.

Warmest wishes,

Felicia

References

  1. Ginde AA, Mansbach JM, Camargo CAJ. Association between serum 25-hydroxyvitamin D level and upper respiratory tract infection in the Third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. Arch Intern Med. 2009 Feb;169(4):384–90.

  2. Naithani R, Huma LC, Holland LE, Shukla D, McCormick DL, Mehta RG, et al. Antiviral activity of phytochemicals: a comprehensive review. Mini Rev Med Chem. 2008 Oct;8(11):1106–33.

A Meditation and Other Self-Care Tips to Ease the COVID-19 Anxiety

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In each given moment in time, we have choices to make. Then we have concrete actions steps to take. The last and very significant step—after we have done everything that is in our control—is to surrender and keep centred within ourselves.

Times of crisis like this can bring the worst out in people, but it can also bring out the very best in all of us. It is an opportunity to ask, “what I can I contribute, and how?” It can bring out compassion, kindness and emotionally taking care of each other. It forces us to slow down and reminds us to focus not just on our family, but on all the people who are dear to our hearts. It is a powerful connector.

It is also a reminder that all of us are an important part of a bigger community; not just of our neighbourhood, but our country and our entire world. Our well-being is interconnected. This is a time to come together, to realize that we are all like the fingers of one hand, that we are integral parts of something bigger. It is easy to hold a unity consciousness when we are strong and healthy. Now it is more urgent than ever to remember that we are all part of a bigger unit. We are all in this together and we are the strongest when we remember that each of us is making a substantial difference.

The reasonable and community supporting choice right now is to practice social distancing and self-isolate if possible. To separate yourself physically, there are action steps to take, for example to ensure you have the necessary food supplies and medications in the house so you can keep yourself healthy for the next three weeks.

Other action steps are to remember to make use of the lifestyle strategies we all have learned about. At the top of the list is getting 7-8 hours of good sleep.  To keep our immune system healthy and strong, we also need healthy food and plenty of fluids. Stay rested and hydrated.

Stress and anxiety have a negative impact on our immune system. The spread of COVID-19 is, of course, a serious situation that needs to be addressed, but our fear is an even greater enemy. Fear and panic decrease the healthy functioning of our immune system. A chronic state of stress increases the cortisol and adrenaline levels and the inflammatory markers in our blood. Instead we want to enhance our immunity and cut down on the inflammation. There are certain supplements that are anti-inflammatory, for example turmeric, ginger, and aloe vera.

Just as important, or perhaps even more so, is to focus on life enhancing emotions. Joy, gratitude, peace, forgiveness, empathy, compassion and love are all renewing emotions. That means listening to each other, caring for each other, giving others (and yourself!) attention, affection and appreciation. These emotions connect us and positively affect our heart rate, lower our cortisol level and increase the hormone DHEA, which results in less inflammation in our body.

Breathing techniques, yoga, meditation and self-hypnosis are all ways to focus on peace, calm, joy and gratitude. They are well proven ways to bring our body into homeostasis to ensure self-regulation and healing. While fear is the enemy of immunity, meditation and mindfulness can be our best friends.

As Deepak Chopra mentioned in a Facebook video post just two days ago, it is “better to have a quiet mind than a positive mind”. Positive thinking can be hard to achieve when we are not feeling safe. In fact, it tends to only cover up the fear underneath. It is better to release all life depleting emotions like fear, anxiety, despair, grief, depression, sadness and loneliness and to move into the peaceful place inside. A peaceful calm mind helps us to relax into the moment with consciousness. It enables us to ask, how am I going to show up in this time of crisis?

In the free meditation recording below, I am guiding you through releasing fear and to quiet the mind, so that you can stay strong and healthy as we all navigate through this time together.

I have worked with long distance clients remotely for years. For the time being, I have shifted all my sessions to Skype and the platform Zoom to continue supporting you in this time of emotional upheaval and uncertainty. Even if you usually prefer in person sessions, do not hesitate to contact me for an online session. You will be surprised how well we can connect and work together.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Unfortunately, due to issues with the embedded player on my website all my meditations are only available right now by going to my podcast channel

Discover the Hidden Potential of Your Mind

The AWARE Approach to Anxiety

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Have you ever experienced anxiety, and have friends and family tried to help you out by telling you to “calm down” or to “stop thinking about it”? Have they tried to reason with you, pointing out that your fears seem exaggerated or unrealistic? Has either of that helped? I’m sure it hasn’t. There is no arguing with the anxious part in us and no just trying to ignore it. Anxiety persists and gets even stronger when we do that.

We live in a time where depression and anxiety are both on the rise. Mood and anxiety disorders are among the most common types of mental disorders in Canada and have a major impact on the daily lives of those suffering from it and on their loved ones, who often are support people. According to Statistics Canada, three million Canadians (11.6%) aged 18 years or older suffered with a mood and/or anxiety disorder in 2013. It is important that we learn to understand what can be done to address anxiety.

A person with an anxiety disorder comes to treat their anxious feelings not just as a symptom of nervousness, but behaves as if there is a threat. The mark of a chronic anxiety disorder is that a person feels afraid and defensive when they are not presently in danger. A part of us takes over that wants to protect us. We are left with our instinctive three responses to enemies: fight, flight or freeze. All these are very useful when there is real danger. These instinctive reactions allow us to act without conscious thought and to either fight, run away, or play dead when confronted with a dangerous enemy. These responses, however, are extremely unhelpful when we are caught up in “What if…” thoughts or worries about a future that hasn’t yet happened, and is most likely not even going to happen the way we fear.

What we have to keep in mind is that anxiety is not about being in a dangerous situation. Therefore, the first two questions to ask according to anxiety expert David A. Carbonell are:

  1. Does the problem I am afraid of exist right now in the present moment?
  2. If so, what can I do to address the situation? If not, I am dealing with severe discomfort, but not acute danger.

 

When a bus is driving towards us, we are busy jumping out of the way instead of distracting ourselves. Or if a dog is attacking us, we are busy fighting the dog off rather than distracting ourselves. So, when you feel the urge to distract yourself from the fear, that is a powerful reminder that you are not in present danger.

For some people, the fear of fainting during a panic attack is an issue. If that is one of your worries, let’s examine what happens in the body for us to faint. What causes a person to faint is a sudden and significant drop in blood pressure. Because the brain is at the top of our body it has difficulty getting an adequate supply of blood. Fainting brings the brain down to the floor to guarantee the blood supply. However, during an anxiety episode or panic attack, the blood pressure is doing the opposite, it is going up, not down. Carbonell mentions in his book “Outsmart Your Anxious Brain” that in thirty years of seeing anxiety clients, exactly five clients have fainted and that was due to a rare condition called POTS, which less than 1% off the population has. If you had that condition, you would know because you would have a history of fainting frequently.

Once having determined that there is no acute and present danger, rather than trying to argue with the fear, or trying to distract ourselves from it, or going into fight, flight or freeze, what is most useful is to relax, be with the fear and give it time to pass.

In my article “Hello, Old Pal Anxiety!” I mentioned greeting the anxiety like an old friend, “Hello, my friend. I know you. You are my old pal fear. Welcome back.” While we are simply watching the physical sensations, we use deep belly breathing.

Taking a deep breath can be tricky when we are tensed, so start with a deep sigh or two, exhaling with an open mouth before you take your first deep belly breath. You can place one hand on your belly (to feel it filling up with air) and the other one on your upper chest (for comfort). As you inhale through your nose, let your belly come out and fill up with air. Take a short pause, and then exhale through your mouth and let your belly become smaller again. Continue this way of breathing while you remind yourself that every anxiety episode has an end.

In his book “Outsmart Your Anxious Brain”, David A. Carbonell outlines five simple steps to address anxiety.

Accept

Resistance to the part in us which is coming up with warnings is futile. The fearful part will only make itself heard more loudly. In the end, we feel worse when we resist or argue with the anxious part. The opposite of resistance is acceptance. Simply decide to accept that it is there. Welcome it. It is there for a reason. There is some deep wisdom behind this part showing up, even though it seems like it is trying to make life harder for you.

Watch

Watch the sensations and observe your symptoms without judgement. Carbonell suggests keeping a symptom journal, because it keeps our mind in the present moment. Watch how this part makes you feel physically and listen to what is has to say with open curiosity.

Act

This does not mean trying to stop the anxiety. That is not your job when you are experiencing fear! The anxiety will last as long as it lasts, no matter what we do to stop it. Acting means to see if you can feel a little more comfortable while you wait for it to end. One main way of acting is the deep belly breathing I described above.

You could also communicate with the part in you that is trying to protect you with “What If…” thoughts. Do not argue with it. What we resist persists.  Instead remember that there is a part in you that has the best intentions. This part is separate from you. It is trying to protect you. Humour it. Listen to it. Let it know you understand what it is trying to do for you. Let it know that it makes sense to you that it would feel it has to give you anxiety symptoms to warn you. Let it know how very grateful you are for what it is trying to do for you.

Carbonell suggests using the “Yes, and…” rule of improvisational theatre. Agree with what this part has to say and add to it in a humorous way. He gives the example of a man who is anxious about his next job evaluation: “Chris might respond to his frequent thought, ‘What if the boss gives me a poor evaluation?’ By replying, ‘Yes, and he’ll probably hit on my wife too and steal her from me once I’ve been fired!’”

Repeat

The “R” in the AWARE method stands for “repeat”. You simply continue to repeat the accepting, watching and breathing or talking to the “What-If” part. Practice is key for addressing anxiety.

End

Have you ever had an anxiety episode that did not end? They all end, no matter what you do or don’t do. Remind yourself of the fact that it ends as you accept, watch and breathe.

The AWARE method outlines clear steps to respond to anxiety rearing its head. Carbonell also suggests making daily ten-minute appointments to worry out loud in front of a mirror, just letting one what-if thought after the next flow. People find that by giving the anxious part room in that way, that the rest of the time they feel less anxious.

To practice the AWARE method and to learn other techniques to embrace yourself with your anxiety, reach out for a free phone consultation.

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Steps to a Happy Healthy Heart

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How do we keep our heart healthy? In this latest episode of my podcast “Discover the Hidden Potential of Your Mind”, I am interviewing my colleague naturopathic doctor Felicia Assenza about this topic.

Join us for a 30 minute podcast episode about heart health.

Or you can also read her article below.

Steps to a Happy Healthy Heart

BY FELICIA ASSENZA, ND

February is heart month and with heart disease being the leading cause of death worldwide, it makes sense that we would dedicate a whole month to bringing awareness around the heart. What can you do for your beautiful, hard-working heart? It’s not easy pumping all that blood around day-in and day-out! Here are just a few things you can do that your heart will thank you for.

 

Say thank you!

What Felicia!? You want me to thank my heart? You may be thinking this sounds a little hokey but before you stop reading, hear me out! If you’re a well practiced yogi or someone who’s familiar with chakras or mind-body medicine, then you probably don’t think this sounds strange at all. Gratitude is good for the heart! For those of you who may be a little more skeptical, I have evidence. Not only has having an attitude of gratitude shown to be an amazing motivator for making positive lifestyle changes but being grateful actually lowers your heart rate, results in fewer deaths from heart failure, lowers inflammation, and helps balance emotions1, 2. All that just for saying thank you! So thank your heart for working so hard, thank the people in your life, thank God or whoever who believe in, just be grateful and at the end of the day, your heart will thank YOU for it.

Exercise

Most people already know that exercise is good for the heart so I won’t spend too much time on this one. One thing I will say though is find a way to get moving that is fun. If you hate running, don’t plan to run every day because you heard that it’s good for you. Find an activity you love and can get excited about and work that into your action plan to get moving.

Make healthy food choices

This is a hard one. There is always so much propaganda around diets, each one making amazing claims until the next one comes along. I think this is an area where it helps to have someone (like your local Naturopathic Doctor) who has a solid understanding of nutrition to work with you to figure out the best food choices for you and your body. I will, however, dare to make a generalization for three heart healthy food choices: 1) Eat lots of vegetables, 2) Eat healthy fats (mono- and polyunsaturated), and 3) Avoid processed foods.

Connect

Did you know that social isolation or loneliness has the same risk as smoking for heart disease. Connection is good for the heart! Find events in your community that you’re interested in. Call that friend or family member you’ve been meaning to catch up with. Head to a public library or cafe to catch up on work or reading. Don’t like connecting with humans? Get a pet. Go for a forest walk. Do whatever you have to do to connect with the people and world around you.

Want to work together on your health journey? Send us an email, give us a call, or book a free 15 minute consult.

Dr. Felicia Assenza can be reached by e-mail:

felicia.assenza@gmail.com

or through the

Awakening Health Clinic in Burlington

Sources

  1. Kyeong, Sunghyon, et al. “Effects of Gratitude Meditation on Neural Network Functional Connectivity and Brain-Heart Coupling.” Scientific Reports, vol. 7, no. 1, Nov. 2017, doi:10.1038/s41598-017-05520-9.

  2. Redwine, Laura S., et al. “Pilot Randomized Study of a Gratitude Journaling Intervention on Heart Rate Variability and Inflammatory Biomarkers in Patients With Stage B Heart Failure.” Psychosomatic Medicine, vol. 78, no. 6, 2016, pp. 667–676., doi:10.1097/psy.0000000000000316.

  3. Publishing, Harvard Health. “Loneliness Has Same Risk as Smoking for Heart Disease.”Harvard Health, www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/loneliness-has-same-risk-as-smoking-for-heart-disease.

The Placebo and Nocebo Effect

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One of my favourite topics is the placebo effect and, on the down side, the nocebo effect. I feel very strongly that we should be leveraging the placebo effect more for our benefit, and be acutely aware not to be affected negatively by the nocebo effect. Today, I want to share a conversation I had with my colleague naturopathic doctor Felicia Assenza on this topic. You can also read her article below.

Join us for a 30 minute podcast episode about

the placebo and the nocebo effect.

 

The Placebo Effect

BY FELICIA ASSENZA, ND

What if it’s just placebo?’ Many of us have heard or asked this question before, especially in the healthcare field, but what if there’s something powerful and healing about the placebo effect that we might be missing by simply brushing it off?

WHAT EXACTLY IS A PLACEBO EFFECT?

A placebo effect can be defined as a beneficial effect from a substance or procedure that cannot be attributed to the specific properties of the substance or procedure itself. In other words, someone gets better from taking something that doesn’t, on its own, have any medicinal properties. For example, someone is given a new cutting edge pill for migraines (actually a plain old sugar pill) and the migraine disappears.

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HOW POWERFUL IS THE PLACEBO EFFECT?

Since its discovery in the 1700’s, the placebo effect has unfortunately been looked at as more of an annoyance or something that needed to be controlled for in studies of ‘real medicines’ or drugs or therapies being tested for their efficacy. For example, looking at whether or not Drug X is more effective than a placebo sugar pill. It wasn’t until the 1950’s that the placebo effect itself began to be investigated in more depth and we’re now realizing the incredible role it can have in very real healing1.

The placebo effect has been shown to play an important role in many ailments that our modern healthcare system has much difficulty with treating, such as pain, depression, anxiety, osteoarthritis, immune health, and ADHD. It has even been shown to be effective in the context of surgery! A fascinating 2002 study by Mosely and colleagues demonstrated that placebo knee surgery (where an incision was made but no actual surgery was performed) was just as effective at relieving symptoms of osteoarthritis as the commonly used arthroscopic debridement surgery2.

DO I HAVE TO BE TRICKED FOR IT TO WORK? 

No! It seems the most important part for a placebo to work is believing that it will work, believing that things will improve or that the outcome you are hoping for is possible. A 2010 study by Ted Kaptchuck and colleagues found that when patients with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) were given a placebo, told they were given a placebo, and given up to date information on the placebo effect, their IBS symptoms still improved3.

THE NOCEBO EFFECT

By this point, it shouldn’t surprise you that when it comes to health (and I’d argue other areas of life as well, but that’s a discussion for another day) if you think something will help, chances are it will! Turns out the opposite seems to be true as well. If you think something will be harmful, chances are it will be. This has become known as the nocebo effect. In other words, the expectation that a harmful effect will happen actually leads to that harmful effect happening. For example, a couple of studies have shown that nebulized saline, which is just airborne salt water droplets, actually triggered asthma attacks in individuals who were told they were being exposed to something they were allergic to5,6. An earlier study even showed that people who thought they were being exposed to trees that they were allergic to triggered the same visible, itchy rash that actually being exposed to the trees caused7.

IT’S NOT QUITE THE SAME FOR EVERYONE

Like everything in medicine and healing, the placebo effect does not look the same for everyone. If you’ve been to one of my workshops or read any previous blog posts, you have probably heard me emphasize the importance of individualized medicine or, as I sometimes like to call it, personalized medicine. Everyone is different and I have yet to come across any therapeutic approach to healing that has exactly the same effect in everyone. The placebo effect is no exception. There has, however, been some interesting study into more specific individual variations in genetics, neurobiology, past experiences, and how they relate to the placebo effect and a person’s susceptibility to the placebo effect1,4.

SO WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN WHEN IT COMES TO MY HEALTH?

I think one of the most important things that the placebo effect shows us is our own healing abilities. One of the most powerful medicines is you! Realizing that your state of health ultimately falls on you is such an empowering way to approach your health but also quite a large responsibility. However, while you are the most important person on your healthcare team, you definitely don’t have to be the only person on your team. That’s where healthcare professionals come in to offer help and guidance to move you forward on your health journey, which brings me to my next point…

It is so so so IMPORTANT that you trust your healthcare professionals and have a positive therapeutic relationship with them. As we already talked about, the placebo effect can be a great asset to your healing but the nocebo effect can be quite the opposite. It is important that you feel comfortable enough with your healthcare providers to voice your thoughts or experiences with certain treatments and can collaborate on a treatment plan that you both believe is in your best interest.

What’s your experience with the placebo effect?

Do you have any experience with the nocebo effect?

We’d love to hear from you.

 

Want to work together on your health journey? Have more questions about the placebo effect? Let’s chat. Send us an email, give us a call, or book a free 15 minute consult.

Dr. Felicia Assenza can be reached by e-mail:

felicia.assenza@gmail.com

or through the

Awakening Health Clinic in Burlington