Ten days ago, I had the great honour and pleasure of officiating the wedding of two very dear clients. It was an incredible joy for me to stand in front of 175 friends and family members with them as they delivered their vows to each other. I am exceptionally proud of these two amazing young people committed to each other and their relationship. For the last two and a half years, they have put in the work to build a solid foundation for a lifelong partnership before getting married.
They are also committed to continue sessions for maintenance in the future. Why? Because life events challenge us and our relationships. That applies to changes generally considered negative, like health or financial challenges, the loss of a job, or a loved one dying. It also applies to so-called positive life events, like a move or the birth of a child. Each partner continues to grow, and the relationship continues to evolve. Every challenge has the potential to drive a couple apart or bring them closer together and make the relationship stronger.
One of my other clients shared how advice from a friend created unnecessary struggles and doubts for him and his girlfriend. He had asked that older, recently married friend, “how do you know when she is the One?” And his friend’s answer was, “when it is easy.”
Nothing could have been more misleading for him than this piece of advice. It created an unrealistic expectation that a relationship will always be or should always be “easy”! As a result, he started doubting that he and his girlfriend are “meant to be” when they are an excellent match. I am not saying a couple should get married when there are a lot of destructive dynamics between the partners before they even get to the altar. However, it is completely normal for every couple to have their set of challenges, especially when life changes confront us.
IMAGE by Frank Winkler from Pixabay
… not about finding the right person to prosper with but about BEING the right person to grow together.
… about having both feet in and not throwing in the towel when it gets rocky.
… a dance of disconnecting and reconnecting over and over and over again.
… about allowing for mistakes and forgiving the other.
… about communicating with courage and working through challenges.
… about being a TEAM (Together Each Accomplishes More).
… about focusing on what you love about each other and laughing at what drives you crazy.
… about staying interested in the other person and who they are becoming.
… about striving to become the best and bravest person you can be. And to support and encourage your partner to become the best and bravest person they can be.