Featured Image by Nina Garman from Pixabay
One thing in life is certain and that is change. Our life is constantly changing. Losses occur and letting go of the past and moving into new opportunities becomes necessary. Such life changes are for example the death of a loved one, a break-up or divorce, the loss of a job or your home, but also so called “good changes” like marriage, the birth of a baby, or choosing to move house. They all imply the loss of the old and the unpredictability of the new, even when we wanted or chose a change. We are still faced with navigating a completely new situation.
Some people literally thrive on novelty and change, others experience different degrees of discomfort when the familiar becomes unfamiliar. Our subconscious prefers old patterns as it allows us to do so many things automatically. Change, on the other hand, creates a level of stress in our mind-body system.
It is okay to feel overwhelmed or sad when a loss occurs. You might not always feel positive when you are moving into something new. Do not let anybody tell you that you need to be upbeat, happy, or strong when change happens. Some changes “suck” or bring pain. We are going through some level of grief in these situations. Even when a part in us knows that things happen for a reason, we do not need to like the change. Give yourself time to adjust and adapt to the new situation. Soon enough you will have regained your balance and found your strength and positivity again.
Just recently, I had a major life change happen myself. The last few months brought me the experience of downsizing and moving from a house into a condo. It also took me into the area I have been wanting to live in for a long time. As much as this move is an exciting new event, it still required letting go, adjusting, and staying sane throughout the whole process.
How can we keep our stress levels down and give our brain and our body time to adjust when major life changing events happen? Some things that helped me to get through the move were:
Image by Daniel Reche from Pixabay
- CONNECT TO SOMETHING GREATER. Meditation, payer, or another way of connecting to the Divine or Creator, keeps things in perspective and lightens our load.
My morning meditation had two important benefits for me. It was fabulous to see the familiar faces of everybody in the group every day and be emotionally supported by their loving energy. It also set me up for a calm and balanced day trusting the higher guidance in all that was unfolding.
- REACH OUT FOR HELP. This is a time to lean on friends and family, or on a health care professional who can help you process any grief.
Moving during a pandemic was an odd experience to say the least, and I was incredibly grateful for those friends who still lent me a hand or gave me emotional support from a distance. Often, we just need to talk things through and have someone acknowledge our feelings.
In the process of decluttering and downsizing, one local friend did several runs with her much bigger vehicle to the donation centre and dump for me, two friends helped me clean the new place, and yet another friend helped me to set up the new condo, unpacking and hanging up pictures. One friend in the States was always just a phone call away for emotional support. I can honestly say that I could not have done this without my friends and my two daughters whose help was also priceless.
- MAKE A PLAN, and if necessary, have a plan A, and a plan B, and even a plan C.
Being organized, planning, and thinking ahead, takes some of the uncertainty out of the whole situation that is unfolding. Then surrender into what is out of your control.
I felt the need to begin packing early on and consistently pack a bit every day. Another big piece for me was to find a good moving company. I am very grateful to have found “Oakville Moving and Storage”, whose owner Jason Bailey appreciated the benefit of planning ahead and even thoroughly checked out the elevator situation in my new building ahead of time. I had found another planner who was calm and reassuring.
- TAKE BREAKS. Do not ignore the signs of your body and mind when it is time to take a break.
Admittedly that was a challenging piece of advice to follow. A part in me just wanted to continue working away without giving myself some physical rest and mental timeouts.
Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay
- TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR BODY. Eating healthy, sleeping enough, exercising, and getting treatments.
I must confess that my exercising went out the window for a while, but I made a point of continuing to cook healthy foods. The activity of cooking became a mental timeout in itself and the food helped me to keep my strength up. I also kept going to my weekly osteopath appointments, which was very beneficial to get my body through all the physical work.
I have made it though a huge change and I am here to help you through your own life changing event. Reach out to get my support as you are letting go and adjusting to a new status quo in your life.
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Belief Change & Relationship Coaching