The Four Pillars of Relationships

Healthy, loving and empowered relationships sit on four strong pillars: the relationship we have with ourselves, the relationships with others, the relationship between couples and the relationship with our divinity. They affect each other.

For example, how much I love myself affects my other relationships. In each relationship, we are either projecting “I am lovable” or projecting the basic fear “I am not lovable”. Others reflect to us what we think and fear, and most importantly, how much we love ourselves. If we don’t trust others and ourselves, we are not open to receiving love, we are safeguarding our heart. We need to trust, love and respect ourselves to give these things to someone else. We need to feel accepted and heard to truly listen to another person.

Relationships with others—and with our partner specifically—push our buttons, and trigger old wounds and our disowned energies or shadows. They affect each other and also influence how we feel about ourselves. We need to be conscious of the dynamics in those relationships, have clear priorities and be willing to do the relationship work on all four pillars.

The fourth pillar also shapes all our relationships. The Beloved or Divine resides within our heart. It is experienced when we have brought our inner masculine and feminine energies, our inner god and goddess, into divine balance. We feel whole and complete and are able to embody love.

Relationships

Do you want to find out more about the four pillars of relationships, universal fears in relationships and three steps to better relationships?

Join Dhebi DeWitz and myself

on Thursday, June 29

at 5:00 p.m. PST / 8:00 p.m. EST

for a FREE WEBINAR

Click here for the link.

 

Within each of those four areas of relationship, we can find another set of pillars. The relationship of a couple for example rests on different pillars or principles, like building a friendship, managing conflicts and creating shared meaning.

Gottman 7principles

To read more about creating shared meaning in our marriage or primary love relationship click here.

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