Have you ever heard somebody say, “You should be grateful for…”? How did that feel? Was that an invitation to even consider shifting into an attitude of gratitude?
Growing up as a child, gratitude got a “bad rap” for me. Gratitude went into my shadow for a while because I could not relate. My parents’ and grandparents’ experience came from lack. Some very essential ingredients were missing when they referred to gratitude with that disapproving voice. They completely missed the joy, the magic, and the wonder that is to be found in gratitude. When they referred to gratitude it came from the head instead of the heart, it came from fear of having to experience lack again instead of knowing the universe as abundant. Instead of teaching true gratitude by their example, they preached gratitude and judged what they perceived as “ungrateful.”
When I moved from Europe to Canada, Thanksgiving became one of my favourite times of the year. I loved teaching my children about giving thanks and seeing their brains process the information of abundance. Their eyes lit up, and their creative little minds joyfully came up with more magical and wonderful things that had manifested and were reasons for thankfulness.
What actually happens when we focus on all our blessings? Quantum physics has taught us that we affect and create change through what we observe. We literally modify the molecules that make up our physical world. As we focus our attention on all we have in abundance and give thanks for everything, for what we really enjoy, but also for everything we like less, we are affecting our reality.
We are happier, we are healthier, and we are able to perceive opportunities and more abundance. Complaining inhibits our brain from properly processing information. Our perceptive filters prevent us from seeing what we are looking for. We only see the print-out of our past fears and worries in the physical world. Complaining creates interference. Instead of using our ability to create with clear focus what we actually want, we are creating blocks and are getting ourselves stuck.
Complaining is like stepping into cement,
letting it dry and trying to run a marathon.
Dr. James Mellon
What we complain about expands. Complaining brings on more of what we are complaining about. We always have a choice. We can focus on gratitude or on complaining. We are creating either way.
Gratitude is not something we do but who we become as we focus on our riches. Gratitude is a powerful magnet. It is expansive. Complaining, worrying and “should-ing” are constrictive. They create statics in the infinite field of possibilities. An attitude of unhappiness and dissatisfaction keeps us away from our good. “You should be grateful” is counterproductive. Saying “yes” to life means working in resonance with the field of possibilities.
Always say yes to the present moment.
Surrender to what is.
Say yes to life and
see how life suddenly
starts working for you,
instead of against you.
In today’s globalization, we are being sold a hostile world everywhere. Our fear-driven amygdala kicks in and buys into the illusion of separation, of living in a “dog-eat-dog” world. We feel small, unsafe and shift into “fight mode.” From that fear, ideas of greed, envy and competition are born.
During the Shadow Energetics workshop, we begin one morning with a deep meditation called “Being State Meditation,” which my friend Darryl Gurney created. The purpose of that meditation is to experience ourselves as different from form, independent of the many roles we all play, of experiencing ourselves as true essence. Once we have had that taste of being more than our physical body and being connected with everything and everybody, it has to reflect our choices. We realize the responsibility we all carry for the entire system we are all part of.
Everything is connected. Just like the five fingers of my hand are all connected, each of us is an integral part of one living system; we live as such, breathe as such, and thrive as such. Everything I do affects everything else. We affect and change everything, even just by observing and thinking, not to mention by what we say and do. When we apply our beliefs, fears and opinions to the world, we shape the world. If we buy into hostility and danger, we create more violence and aggression. If our commodities are love, compassion and forgiveness, we contribute to healing the planet.
Experiments with the Transcendental Meditation® technique have shown that only one square root of 1% of a population practicing unconditional love and true peace results in measurable improvements away from fear, crime, aggression and violence, to lower crime rates, less violence, cooperation and group thinking.
What we animate with our attention
affects not just our personal experience,
but the experience of the whole universe.
“… By choosing to add energy to the resonant field of gratitude and joy, you can fundamentally change the world… you don’t have to march for peace (although you may want to)… You can enlarge the conversation by taking your focus off the negative and noticing all the things that are going right, taking a stand for goodness of humanity.” (Pam Grout)
What we choose to focus on manifests. My mind creates my experience, not the other way around! Therefore, it is my responsibility to see a friendly Universe. It is my essential contribution to making this planet the beautiful, safe and loving place it can be.
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Belief Change Coach and Workshop Instructor