Our Heart at Peace Vs our Heart at War

 

 

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Flying on a low cost European flight carrier, which shall be left unnamed, I overheard a peculiar interaction between a flight attendant and a passenger in German. This passenger boarded the plane as one of the last people. When wanting to store his rather shabby and small carry-on in one of the overhead bins, he found they were all quite full. A young male flight attendant who was standing in a row and watching the passenger, gave the sloppy dressed attire of the passenger a once over. Instead of assisting him, he merely commented, “If there is no room overhead, your bag needs to be put under the seat.”

The gentleman, being older and somewhat overweight, struggled to bend down to push his carry on under the seat in front of him. His head turned red and he started to breathe heavily. The flight attendant sighed and reluctantly offered, “Or shall I see if there is still room in the back?” The man nodded. “You need to move over then to let me out,” responded the flight attendant

At that point, I noticed the woman next to me raise her eyebrow. I figured she was thinking the same thing I was, “What a rude tone for somebody in the service industry.” The gentleman moved a few steps to the side to let the flight attendant step out of the row. The reaction from the member of the crew was by no means a “thank you. Instead he said, “Not that way. I still can’t get through. I have to get to the back of the plane.”

Now this gentleman was extremely patient and stoic. He did not take offence to the tone or the words which were both clearly out of line, even considering that Germans can often be utterly unfriendly. It is not hard to imagine how with a different passenger this same conversation could have escalated into an unpleasant altercation. This flight attendant could have helped the passenger with a friendlier and more polite tone, but he obviously perceived the gentleman as a nuisance. He saw him as an irritating obstacle rather than another human.

So what exactly causes the start or the escalation of a conflict? It is not so much the actions we take that invite war, but the way we are while taking them. Is the other person an annoyance to us or can we relate to them with compassion and kindness? The same action can be performed from a heart at peace or a heart at war. Interacting with others with a heart at war is likely to provoke a defensive reaction or create or prolong a conflict.

Way of Being

There are two ways of seeing others: as objects, which leads to a heart at war or as persons, which leads to a heart at peace.

When we see others as persons it is because we recognize that their flaws and qualities are also ours. Everything which is in the world is also inside of us. The flight attendant at present might be young, slim, fit, healthy, financially well-off and very competent in regards to traveling but one day he might be in the place of this gentleman and require help. When we see others as persons, we also see that their desires, hopes, doubts and concerns are just like ours. Their cares and concerns matter to us. We have enough awareness to understand that what we judge in them are our own shadows. I can only speculate what prompted the crew member to act this way. Was he judgmental of the unkempt appearance, the weight, the lateness of the passenger, his clumsiness or the fact that this gentleman sat in one of the low fare seats on the plane (as opposed to getting food and other preferred customer treatment paying a somewhat higher fee)?

We see people as objects when we “de-personalize” them, for example when we reduce them to a category (a Poor Person), to a role (a Passenger), or to a quality (Difficult or Incapable). There are three ways of seeing a person as object: as an obstacle (“This passenger is making my job more difficult”), as a vehicle (“This Client will sign the contract and make me rich”), or as an irrelevancy (“I never bother talking to people who are dressed this way”). We are in a “them versus us” or “me versus him/her” dynamic.

What determines which way we see someone? We can simply choose to see someone as a person rather than as an object. We can choose to focus on what we have in common instead of separating ourselves through judgment.

When we are following a way of being that is counter to our own sense of humanity, we usually justify our self-betrayal. The other person who we don’t treat with kindness and compassion becomes an object of blame, and we begin to see everything about him in a “crooked way”. This is the seed of war; our need for justification distorts our perception of reality.

The perceptual box the flight attendant most likely was stuck in can be described as the “better than box”. From that box we feel we are superior. We see the other person as inferior, irrelevant, incapable or wrong. We treat them with disdain, indifference or impatience. We choose to feel superior or “right” over being at peace.

POSTER Boxes

According to the Arbinger Institute, there are three other perceptual boxes we get stuck in when we interact with others from a heart at war. Sometimes we choose to feel like the victim, mistreated or unappreciated. That puts us into box two, the “I deserve” box.

Or we might have a tendency to need to be seen in a positive way (for example helpful, competent or a “good” parent/child/friend/boss and so on). From that need to be seen a certain way, we might end up sacrificing our own needs and interacting with others from an unauthentic place. That place breeds resentment underneath the surface of being such a “good” person.

A fourth box is the one which makes us feel less or worse than others. When we feel broken or deficient, we perceive others as advantaged or privileged. That results in us getting stuck in feelings of helplessness, bitterness, jealousy or depression. The entire world seems to be against us; life appears to be hard and difficult for us.

We all have a tendency to slip into one or two of these boxes in different situations. We are not in a box all the time. In some relationships we might be in a box, while at the same time we are out of the box in other relationships.

To get out of the box and to stay out of it, we first need to recognize the signs of blame, justification, horribilization, and those four common box styles. Am I blaming others for a conflict we have, am I justifying my own actions, have I made the other people worse than they really are? Do I have a need to be right and make the other party wrong as a consequence of feeling superior, inferior, victimized or needing to be seen a certain way?

“The more sure I am that I’m right, the more likely I will actually be mistaken. My need to be right makes it more likely that I will be wrong! Likewise, the more sure I am that I am mistreated, the more likely I am to miss ways that I am mistreating others myself. My need for justification obscures the truth.”

— The Arbinger Institute

We also need to find an out of the box place, for example a memory with that person or group I am judging or have horribilized, that helps me to see the relationship or situation differently. If I have horribilized my sibling/my boss/my step-mother and so on, do I have a positive memory of him or her? If I have horribilized a group of people (“all men”, “all Muslims”) do I have a different experience with one of them that helps me get out of that perspective?

When I have found that out of the box place I need to re-examine the situation anew, asking myself

  • What are this person’s or this group’s challenges, emotional wounds or burdens?
  • How am I, or some group of which I am a part, adding to these challenges, wounds or burdens?
  • In what other ways have I or my group neglected or mistreated this person or group or made them feel unappreciated and unwanted?
  • In what ways are my Better-Than, I-Deserve, Worse-Than, and Must-Be-Seen-As boxes clouding my perception of others and myself and interfering with potential solutions?
  • What do I feel I should do for this person or group? Is there an action I could perform to shift the relationship?

 

In the workshop “Them Versus Us” we will examine where in our lives we are stuck in a them-versus-us dynamic and how to shift out of the boxes we might be in.

Join us for “Them Versus Us” on September 11, 2016 or on September 10, 2017 from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

Angelika Baum, 905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

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What is Holding You Back from Making “The Secret” Work for Yourself?

 

Dhebi De Witz - quote

 

In her book “The Messenger Within,” Dhebi DeWitz names 7 areas of influence which are holding us back from manifesting and creating the happy and healthy life we are able to have:

  1. Our Beliefs
  2. Our Emotions
  3. Our Essential Human Needs
  4. Our Distant Past
  5. Our Shadows
  6. Our Lifestyle
  7. Additional Energy

 

In “Living the Science of Mind”, Ernest Holmes compares the flow of the Universal Goodness to a huge body of water up in the mountains. The water is brought down by a system of pipes to irrigate the valley. The flow is endless and has a natural pressure within itself. It is only limited by the size of the pipe through which it flows. When no water flows or it only trickles, the reason is not that the water has stopped flowing, but that the pipe is blocked.

The debris blocking the flow of Source Energy or Goodness into our life is made up of our subconscious beliefs, the emotions we are stuck in, our needs which aren’t met, influences from the past (past lives, ancestral lineage), our shadows which we have disowned, lifestyle influences and energy blockages. The reasonable thing is to follow the pipe back and clean out the debris that blocks it.

Waterfall - small

Only approximately 5% of our words and actions originate from the conscious mind. 95% of the time, we are habitually operating from our subconscious beliefs. Those belief programs influence how we think, how we speak, how we act and ultimately, what destiny we are able to manifest for ourselves. The good news is that those subconscious programs can be changed from limiting beliefs to supportive ones.

Just like our limiting beliefs, our emotions also create our experience of reality below our level of conscious awareness. Our emotions affect our health greatly; 90% of physical issues have an emotional root. All of us experience emotional extremes at times. Emotions are normal, in fact, all feelings and emotions are good; they provide us with feedback that we need to address something. However, some emotions do not resolve themselves completely; they can cause an obstruction in the physical body, sending out a continuous interference resonance. This situation is similar to a steam kettle under pressure. As a result, we continue to operate from a reality we perceive from our emotional pain. These blocked emotions can be released from the physical body.

Our essential human needs have a life force of their own. No matter how old we are, as human beings, we all have needs and desires. Unfulfilled needs cause emotions such as frustration, disappointment or resentment. When we learn how to successfully communicate our own needs, we then in turn can also help others to acknowledge, express and fulfill their needs. The Goodness Ernest Holmes speaks about can flow into our life and into our relationships.

There are times when past-life experiences or ancestral lineage influences affect your current life. This is the case when there is a carry-over interference pattern from the past that needs to be resolved in the present. Past life memories are stored in our subconscious mind; ancestral influences are stored in our cells. The latter are passed on through our DNA to the next generation. We have the choice to heal our past lives and ancestral wounds.

Everything that is in the world is also inside of us. We are born like a castle with a thousand rooms. As a child, we explore all rooms in this magnificent castle without malice. We try out all energy or in other words all “possibilities of being” – until other people tell us something is “bad” or “wrong”. You shouldn’t be loud and enjoy attention, you shouldn’t be selfish or greedy, you shouldn’t be lazy, you shouldn’t be angry, you shouldn’t be… and the list goes on. Because we all want and need to be accepted and loved, we disown those personality traits which we learn are “bad”. They become our shadows. Because we have pushed them away, we can only perceive them in projection in others.  They become our triggers; we judge them in others. These shadows become part of the debris which blocks the life force energy. They keep us from being whole, from unconditionally loving ourselves and others. By embracing all our disowned personality parts, we become whole again.

Deepak Chopra emphasizes that we all have a blueprint for health, no blueprint for disease. However, certain lifestyle choices we make create interference patterns which disrupt the healthy blueprint within us. Those choices include—among others—unhealthy food choices, toxins, stress, lack or rest, relaxation and meditation, lack of exercise, lack of joy and play, lack of fresh air and sunshine, and even a lack of bodywork, for example massages or energy work. When we change our eating habits, rest more, and make time for healthy movement, we clear out the debris which is the result of unhealthy lifestyle choices.

Last but not least, the flow is blocked when there is low vibrational or heavy energy affecting us. The more we are aware of the energy flow in our bodies and in our surroundings, the easier we can shift and uplift the energy through a clearing ritual or prayer.

These seven areas constitute the secret behind “The Secret” of manifesting our dreams, goals and desires using the Law of Attraction.

In the Shadow Energetics Workshop, we touch on all seven areas and devolve deeper into the first five.

  1. You learn how to communicate with your subconscious mind and your higher self through energy testing (muscle testing). You are taught a belief change process to replace limiting subconscious beliefs with more supportive ones.
  2. You learn an Emotional Release Process, an efficient and effective tool to release an emotional charge.
  3. We connect with our Inner Child and our Essential Human Needs. You will be introduced to Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication model of successfully expressing your feelings and needs.
  4. When tapping into your Higher Self through muscle testing past issues, including past/parallel lives or our ancestral lineage might come up.
  5. The core piece of the Shadow Energetics workshop are our dark and light shadows which show up in our relationships with others. Our dark shadows are parts of ourselves which we have learned to disown as “bad” or “wrong” and therefore judge in others. Our light shadows are what we admire in others and again think we are not.

For a 20 minute video interview on Shadow Energetics please click here.

The Early Bird Special for the Fall Shadow Energetic Training ends on September 2. For more info go to upcoming workshops or contact Angelika, 905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Starting in October 2016, Dhebi DeWitz and I will offer Shadow Energetics webinars 4-6 times a year. These one hour webinars will be open to former students of Shadow Energetics, as well as Dhebi’s students, and also new people who are interested in finding out more about the work we do and the book Dhebi wrote. If you are interested to join us please contact either one of us.

Angelika
Angelika Baum, 905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca
Dhebi De Witz
Dhebi DeWitz, 425-890-4972, dhebidewitz@gmail.com

Tears Are the Pearls That Heal the Soul

A lovely elderly relative of ours asked me this summer, “Have you ever noticed that tears taste different whether you are crying tears of sorrow, happiness or because you are cutting an onion?” I hadn’t, but my curiosity sure was aroused. It turns out the chemical composition of tears is very different depending on the tear type.

Tears are mainly composed of water, salts, antibodies and antibacterial enzymes. There are three major types of tears: basal tears (lubrication and protection of the eye), reflex tears (triggered by irritants), and emotional or psychic tears (triggered by emotions). Emotional tears contain more protein-based hormones, including leucine enkephalin, a natural pain killer. This pain killer is responsible for making us feel better after we have “a good cry”.

Tears are the pearls

Dr. Masaru Emoto has shown with his crystallized water experiments that positive emotions like love, support and peace form beautiful harmonic crystals, while negative emotions like hate, loneliness and war result in distorted water crystals. Tears also have very different molecular structure depending on the emotion contained in it and thus look different under a microscope.

As Dr. Emoto’s famous experiments have shown, water retains an imprint of the emotions and information it’s been exposed to. Water has the capability of memory, if you so like. That applies to the water in our seas, rivers, and lakes, to the rain falling down on us, to the water we drink and of course also to our tears. Through tears of sadness, disappointment, shame, guilt or anger we can release lower frequencies or emotions. Tears of laughter contain the information of joy and happiness.

In a project called “Topography of Tears,” photographer Rose-Lynn Fisher examined what tears look like under a microscope. Over the course of several years, she examined more than 100 tears, crystallized as salt. Different types of tears have a distinct different molecular structure. Even psychic or emotional tears with the same chemical composition look very different. The tears that happen from hard laughter aren’t even close to the tears of sorrow. For images of the tears go to http://www.rose-lynnfisher.com/tears.html

What happens usually—at least in our North American culture—when somebody feels tears welling up? They feel embarrassed, they might even apologize and we are quick to hand them a Kleenex to stop the flow of tears.

Our body is incredibly smart and allows us the chemical release which we need when we are feeling grief and sadness. Moreover, energy follows water. So any energy and tension we are holding due to a trauma or an experience of sorrow can be released with the tears.

The ancient fairy tales by the Brother’s Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson, as well as folktales from all over the world tell us about the healing ability of our tears.

Rapunzel 3

In the Brother’s Grimm tale of Rapunzel, her tears heal the eyes of the prince she loves after he is blinded. Don’t our tears often have the same effect? We cry in sorrow about an experience, completely blind to how we might find a “happy ending”. After the release of a good cry and a good night’s sleep, the world usually looks completely different. Our blindness to the beauty and happiness is—at least partially—lifted.

In “The Little Mermaid”, Hans Christian Andersen states: “But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more.” Indeed, without the ability or opportunity to cry, we need to hold our suffering in. Crying is beneficial to health and mental well-being. Our leucine enkephalin and endorphin-filled tears are there to help us release stress and to stabilise our mood. They also act as a signal to those around us that we may be in need of somebody’s loving and empathetic presence.

So next time somebody starts to cry, don’t be so quick with the box of tissues but assure them it is okay to cry and then just hold a loving space for them while their body does what it knows best to do. After all, our tears are the pearls that heal our soul.

 

If you are enjoying my articles, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

Based on the fact that water holds vibrations and that our body is mostly water, Stephen Pollitt has created his healing Source Energy Medicine labels which you can download for free from his website, donations welcome.

If you are looking for a Source Energy Medicine practitioner or Source Energy Medicine workshops in Canada, please contact my friend Fern Wolf.

Influences of a Distant Past

In 2004, I was walking down the stairs in our house with my youngest daughter Tia who was just three years old at the time. All our family photos were hung up chronologically on the wall by the stairs. Suddenly, the little one stopped with a faraway look on her face. Absentmindedly but very seriously, she said to me, “I had to come to this family, you know.”

Intrigued, I softly asked, “Why?” After a short pause, she replied, “Because I had to be with Cara again.” My curiosity was piqued. Excitedly, I prompted her to tell me more, but just as this strange altered state had come over her, it disappeared instantly. The next moment, she was a regular little three-year-old once again, happily bouncing down the stairs.

Cara & Tia montage

Cara is Tia’s 5½ year older sister. The two girls have the closest and most loving and supportive relationship I have ever seen in siblings. They are opposites in many ways, yet best friends who always have each others back. They would make an adorable couple, but in this life, they have chosen to be siblings.

Around that time that my youngest told me so matter of factly that she had to come to this family, I was just about to start my hypnosis training. One of the ways to access past life memories in your subconscious mind is through hypnosis. The past life regression is a two hour session in which the client is guided back to two childhood memories from this life and—if everything goes by the book—to two previous lives. This somewhat time intensive method is best for clients who are very visual. Seeing and feeling firsthand what occurred in the past is step one of understanding and healing.

After many years of offering these past life regressions in hypnosis, I feel that muscle testing is a faster way of accessing the information about what interference patterns have been carried over from a past life. Even though our physical body dies with each incarnation, consciousness itself is continuous and the energy of unprocessed traumatic experiences remains in our energy field. Instead of spending a two hour session on entering into a hypnotic state and accessing the memories mostly in a visual way, we can, within a very short time, muscle test the information necessary.

muscle testing 3

We can muscle test the time period, gender, age, social and financial status and whether the interference pattern was created on your own or in relationship to others. We can figure out what chakra was affected and what the cause of the conflict was. When we have a basic understanding of what happened, we can focus on healing the interference pattern. I find that often forgiveness work will help to bring closure to the past life and clear out the hold that the distant past still has over the person. Other times, an emotion needs to be released or beliefs learned in that life need to be changed.

Interference patterns from past lives are not the only way we are affected by experiences prior to our birth. Epigenetics has shown how the cellular memory or DNA affects the next generations to come. Energy is never lost and is still contained within the consciousness of one family.

Dhebi DeWitz explains: “Our ancestor’s experiences, beliefs, and emotions leave an impression, a molecular scar or adhesion, on our DNA and in our lives. Those adhesions that permanently attach to the DNA can be replicated right along with it through the next generations. If someone in your ancestral lineage experienced hardships, tremendous trauma, world disaster, Holocaust, famine, injustice, a scalping, or suffering of some kind, the chemistry from that stressful experience, to some degree, becomes imprinted on your DNA.” (DeWitz, “The Messenger Within”)

These DNA imprints can affect our perceptions, behaviours and life experiences and with it our relationships, our prosperity, our health, and our overall level of fear versus trust.

Influences of a distant past - familytree1

One of my clients had an ancestral line in which all the women on her mother’s side, right back to her great-grandmother or even further, endured great hardships, experiencing wars, deaths, raising their children on their own and having to be really strong and self-sufficient. She herself had grown up hearing that she also was a strong woman. With that ancestral lineage, it can be challenging to embrace our softer side. My client was also concerned about continuing this family pattern. Rather than being a strong woman coping alone, she would like to manifest an equal partnership of mutually supporting each other.

When I guided her through the ancestral healing process, she had the vision of the men in her family coming together to join the women. They had been there all along. She had the insight that the women were strong yet supported by the men in the background. For herself and her female ancestors, the healing opens up a future of not having to continue the pattern of struggling alone.

Dhebi describes a case in her book of a female client in her mid-50s who had been struggling in her business. During the process, the client noticed a cloud of dark, heavy energy along her father’s side of her linage. Her grandfather had lost a fortune during the Great Depression. After clearing out this pattern, the client reported back that her business was flowing without difficulty now, everything lining up and falling into place.

When we make the choice to heal our ancestral lineage on both our father’s and on our mother’s side, we bring a higher level of consciousness into our lineage line which affects us as well as our children and grandchildren positively.

To do some past life or ancestral healing work contact

Angelika, 905-286-9466 greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

To facilitate your own healing work I highly recommend “The Messenger Within” by Dhebi DeWitz. One of the downloadable resources is a guided shamanic process to energetically clear both lines of generational imprints. The guided process will also be available on the Heart and Soul Academy website as an audio version.

If you enjoyed my post, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen. A related blog you might be interested in is Children Remembering Past Life Memories