Disillusionment

Sarah finds out that her widowed father has a girlfriend and has kept it from her. Jim realizes that his wife is not the patient mother he had hoped she would be. Veronica has to admit that her husband is threatened by her making more money and is  not supportive of her career. Mario finds out that his girlfriend has a spending problem. Mary is shocked to hear that her new partner has an illegitimate son who he hasn’t mentioned before. Sally notices that her sister has gossiped with somebody else about her.

What do all those situations have in common? All these experiences are about realizing that somebody is not the way we expected them to be. We have to adapt to a new reality minus the illusion we had about a person.

When we experience a sense of disillusionment with another person or with the relationship we are receiving a great gift. Disappointment gets us stuck in feeling something is hopeless. When we feel something is hopeless, we dissociate and give up. Dis-illusionment, on the other hand, frees us from illusions and can be very productive.

Dissilusionment allowsEach relationship with another person is a journey which also contains moments of disillusionment. When we grow up, we usually get to a point when we realize our parents are not who we thought they were when we were children. In our romantic relationships, we have moments which trigger our hurts and issues and also make us realize our partner is not who we expected them to be. The other person might not do or be who we hoped they were. An illusion we had about our partner is taken away. We have the choice to allow the loss of our illusions to make us bitter or to allow ourselves to lead relationships which are more real.

Everybody wants toWhen we lose our illusions, we open up to getting to know who the other person truly is. Disillusionment is part of a normal development for a relationship. When we engage in those experiences and share them with each other we can work through how it felt to experience the disillusionment. We can grow from those moments. Everybody ultimately wants to be known for who he or she is, especially in close intimate relationships. Being put up on a pedestal is lonely. Everybody wants to be loved for who he or she is. Through a situation of disillusionment, we start to see something about the other person which we didn’t see before. It’s a new discovery of who we are in a relationship with. We can then strengthen the bond on those new insights, free from illusions.

Real appreciation

Angelika

Relationship Coaching

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

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Mother Earth, Please Take This from Me

Have you ever said “I need to digest this”? That might apply to actual food, or some knowledge you have just learned, or it might be something emotional.

This week, I was reminded of an important lesson: I do not have to digest everything other people serve me! I don’t have to “eat” anything that is served in the buffet of life unless I choose to. I get to pick and choose. If somebody serves me something that is clearly of a low vibrational energy, born out of jealousy, judgment or fear, I do not have to digest it. I have the right to refuse it and to immediately release the energy before it can drain or affect me.

Sometimes people serve us something under the pretext of caring or meaning well, yet the energy is not one of acceptance or love at all. Other times people serve us something out of fear and lack of self-love, unconsciously trying to trigger the same feeling of fear and being unlovable in us.

When somebody tries to tell you that you are lacking in some way, whether that is physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, remind yourself that they have projected their own fears of not being enough in some way onto you. They are probably completely unaware of how you mirror to them what they fear about themselves. You are carrying their shadows, what they don’t like about themselves and therefore judge in others.

Blowing out someone elsesEach time this happens and somebody says or does something that is not coming from a loving heart, it’s a test of how much we have learned to love ourselves so far. Each relationship is a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Do we truly love ourselves? Do we have enough awareness to simply refuse that judgmental energy? To release all residue from our own field? And to stay away from people who do not mirror love and acceptance to us?

One Shamanic ritual to release an unwanted energy is to place your left hand on your stomach and hold the right one up. Breathe deeply and let the situation, the incident, the energy rise into your right hand. Then give the energy from your right hand to Mother Earth to take it and clear it.

Mother earth please takeI don’t believe that people are toxic; however, interactions can be toxic for us. We wouldn’t eat a spicy dish when we have a sensitive stomach, or dairy products when we are lactose intolerant, or attempt to eat peanuts when we have a nut allergy. So why would we feel we have to digest energy which is incompatible or even malevolent?

So, if somebody is trying to blow your candle out and trying to make you feel not good enough in some way, remind yourself that you are lovable exactly the way you are. If you have a moment of doubt, turn to somebody who can see your bright light and hear them say:

You are beautiful the way you are

Angelika

Life Coaching

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.