If you are not satisfied with what you do and you keep postponing starting a new career or business, have you actually avoided making a decision?
If you are avoiding speaking to your partner or ex-partner about an important issue, are you really postponing making that difficult decision?
If you are struggling financially and you find yourself going deeper and deeper into debt and you don’t make changes, are you able to escape making a decision?
In all three cases, you have made several decisions or choices. You have made the choice not to be in control of your life. You have made the choice to remain stagnant. You have made the choice to allow others to make the decisions for you. You have given away the opportunity to have an in-put and find a compromise. Your partner will most likely make his or her own decision without you, and your debtors are most probably going to react to your financial situation. In each case, you have deluded yourself that you are not making a decision, but you have, in fact, made a fear choice over a growth choice.
We are making choices all the time! We cannot live life without making choices in every given moment. “The Universe is Decisive” (Raymond Charles Barker). We exist in and are part of a Universe in which we are constantly co-creating our reality. The Law of Mind, as the Science of Mind teachers call it, or the Law of Attraction, as it is called in the Abraham teachings, is clear: We are constantly manifesting from our thoughts, feelings, words, decisions and actions. It is not possible to NOT make a choice.
The choice not to make a choice is a choice in itself. It’s the choice to stay “in limbo”. And on the other side of indecisive energy is decisive energy. When we are indecisive, we draw in other people who are decisive and will make decisions for us. The choice to let somebody else make the choices for us IS a choice. We give away our power of decision. We give away an opportunity to self-actualize consciously.
We are human and we make fear choices over growth choices all the time. We might choose to stay in an unhappy relationship out of the fear of being alone. We may choose to not move from a financially secure job into a more fulfilling but less secure one. We might avoid important talks out of fear of conflict.
Be compassionate with yourself when you notice a pattern of making fear choices. Just don’t delude yourself that other people and forces control your life when you are the one who has made the choice to relinquish control.
“Have no fear of negative patterns you may uncover in your mind. They are ready to be known and dismissed.” (Raymond Charles Barker, The Power of Decision, 187) When you find that you tend to behave or act, think or feel in a certain pattern, celebrate that you have found a pattern. Now that your conscious mind is aware of a pattern which you would like to change, you can begin your work. Such a pattern could be “when somebody is not pleased with me or criticises me, I feel rejected” or “I jump to the rescue of people with a victim consciousness, enabling them to remain a victim” or “when somebody is angry, I retreat into feeling helpless instead of constructively solving a problem” or “when I feel sad and not good enough, I overeat to push my emotions down”.
This Universe is fractal in itself. There are repetitive patterns everywhere. They show up in nature, in the history of mankind and in everybody’s individual history. The same patterns show up over and over again until we become aware of them and consciously change them. Within this choice is a decision again: the decision to break a pattern, no matter how long it has been present, the decision to change something that has not been working for us.
Life Coaching, Changing of Beliefs and Habitual Patterns
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