I had an interesting choice to make just recently, and with it came a bit of a light bulb moment. I had the opportunity to point out to somebody that they are out of integrity and that they are justifying their actions by using what one might call spiritual jargon. Like everybody, I have a self-righteous part that pipes up at times and judges something as unfair or “not right”. That self-righteous part in me would have loved to step out and ask this person if she was really feeling good about treating another person, who was kind and generous to her in the past, the way she is.
But then instead of sending it out right away, I sat with the email I had written. The quiet voice inside said, “Wait, don’t just respond impulsively”. I talked to my friend Darryl Gurney, whose insights and perspective I have always appreciated. He agreed that the person was probably coming from fear, showing up with a surprising lack of integrity and a lower consciousness level than one would expect.
He also reminded me though that when somebody shows up in one of their shadows, we need to remember that at the other side of that shadow is a truly lovely energy. We all have ALL energy inside of us.
When somebody acts from a place of self-centredness, dishonour, aggression, unscrupulousness, greed, or from any other shadow side, we need to remind ourselves that they are also selfless, honest, peaceful, conscious of their actions, fair, and willing to share at other times. The reason why they are choosing to act from their shadow and to justify their actions with seemingly reasonable arguments and/or pseudo-spiritual non-sense, is that they are in fear.
Maybe they are in fear around their financial situation, or in fear of losing something or someone. Maybe they feel disconnected and unloved. Maybe they are in fear of speaking up from a place of integrity because somebody else in their life might not understand or agree. There could be a million reasons why we are out of integrity and choosing to pretend that we are not. Another truth is that we have all been out of integrity ourselves at some point in our life. I certainly know I have.
When somebody makes choices which are not the strongest choices they could make, it is sometimes challenging not to judge. However, a situation like this is a test to just let it be and trust that the Universe has a way of taking care of things.
So, instead of writing my email, I decided to sit and do the Ho’oponopono Ritual to shift the feelings I have for, and my energy towards, this person. Hoʻoponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It consists of four sentences to forgive and let go, and to raise our vibration to a vibration of love:
I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.
With the Ho’oponopono prayer, we take responsibility for whatever we are experiencing in our life. It is a spiritual truth that everything that shows up in our lives is there for a reason and for our highest good, even if we don’t see it at the time. It is also a spiritual belief that before we started this life we chose the major events of our lives. Sometimes this has brought us pain. However, many of our greatest insights come from painful experiences and we have the chance to grow from those experiences. With this meditation we can make peace with people and situations that have brought us pain, anger, resentment or other difficulties. We can include people close to us or someone we have not even met but whose actions have affected us in some way.
Life & Spiritual Coaching, Belief Change Work, Shadow Work
Angelika, 905-286-9466, email@example.com
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