Do you feel that other people are judging you?
Are you in some way holding yourself back from living life the way you want to because you are afraid that other people won’t approve?
Are you critical and judgmental of yourself?
Who do you judge and for what?
What if you started embracing your judgmental self and all those traits that you fear other people will not like about you? What if you actually started approving of yourself, your whole self? Who would you be if you really loved yourself the way you are? Who would you be if you could just let other people live their life the way they choose without looking at them with judgement?
There is no “good” or “bad” energy. Used with consciousness, all energy, everything that is in us, has a potential, is useful or “good”.
If we deny and hide those things we don’t like about ourselves, we give them power. By starving those supposedly negative or bad traits we make exactly that energy hungry to attack when we are distracted.
It is as if we hold a white wolf and a black wolf inside us. Should we feed the white wolf or the black? Both! If we only feed the white wolf and try to starve the dark one, the later will wait for an opportunity to attack when we least expect it.
“Truth be told, there is a whole pack of wolves running around inside us – the loving wolf, the kind hearted wolf, the smart wolf, the sensitive wolf, the strong wolf, the selfless wolf, the openhearted wolf, and the creative wolf. Along with these positive aspects exists the dissatisfied wolf, the ungrateful wolf, the entitled wolf, the nasty wolf, the selfish wolf, the shameful wolf, the lying wolf, and the destructive wolf. Each day we have the opportunity to acknowledge all of these wolves. All these parts of ourselves, and we get to choose how we will relate to each of them. Will we stand in judgement on some and pretend some don’t exist or are we going to take ownership of the entire pack?” (Debbie Ford, Why Good People Do Bad Things, p.22)
The black wolf also has many important qualities we might need. The angry wolf, for example, helps us to stand up for ourselves, the dissatisfied wolf reminds us to satisfy our needs and desires, the selfish wolf makes sure we are not being taken advantage of, and so on.
If we feed them both by acknowledging their existence and owning them, they will no longer fight to get our attention by surprising us with sudden attacks of that suppressed emotion. We can use each of them as needed. For example, instead of having an angry outburst, we can use the angry energy in a productive way. Anger gives us the feed-back that we perceive something as unfair and helps us “make fair”. By acknowledging its existence in us without judgement, we gain the conscious choice whether we want to engage that energy, or not.
Are you ready to acknowledge and own all the black wolves so you can live in harmony with all of yourself?
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