Focus

Sometimes I don’t write a blog for weeks. A fleeting thought might cross my mind, “I haven’t blogged in a long time. I should… Ah, I will make time for that later…” And in the end, blogging does not happen. Then, suddenly something catches my interest and I write a new blog. Now I have shifted my attention. The next day I might notice something else that is “of the stuff” for a blog, and I write about that as well. This usually goes on for a while, until I allow life to take over again.

What has happened when we allow something else to take over? Has it really “taken over” as if we had nothing to do with it? Admittedly, sometimes “fires need to be put out”. Something occurs that requires immediate attention. However, so much more often we just think something else is more important, or we allow our focus to wander.

The reason for desires, goals…for finding those decisions or points of focus, is because they are the life-giving things of the Universe. Without objects of attention, or objects of desire, Life Force does not come through any of us. —Abraham

In co-creating our reality, in manifesting into this physical form what we truly want to see and engage in, we need to watch our focus closely. The clear intention and focus create a certain effect in your life.

The Universe does not care when you say “I should” or “It would be good for me if…” or “I would like…” It only responds to vibration. Whether you focus on what you don’t want, or whether you focus on what you do want, you will attract more of that same energy. The Universe does not know or care whether the vibration that you’re offering is in response to something you are living right now, and observing, or in response to something you are imagining. In either case, the Universe accepts it as your point of attraction and matches it. —Abraham

If there is drama going on around us and we choose to focus on or even engage in it in some form, we have just guaranteed that we will be tied up in that drama for a longer while. We will be experiencing what we don’t want, until we clearly shift our focus and intention again.

So here is to clear focus and to more blogs this month, as I am approaching my 100th blog…

What are your goals? Weight Loss? Healthier Relationships? Creativity? Ready to shift your focus and strive for your goals?

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

No Mothers Out There

No Mothers

The search for Mother has ended.

The story of Abandonment is over.

The too-good-mother has vaporized into the idea that she was.

No mothers are forthwith.

No mothers on order.

No mothers in back pockets, to pull out at eleventh hours, when all seems lost.

No surrogate mothers.

No hand me down mothers.

No wannabe mothers acting out their mother on me.

No mothers except for She who whispers as the wind.

No mothers except for She who walks beneath me.

No mothers except for She who speaks my name without words.

No mothers except for the One that embraces the space that I am.

No mothers out there.

No mothers out there.

~ Maria Mars, copyright 2014

 

Maria, a very talented friend of mine, wrote this poem. It reminded me that I too used to look for a surrogate mother—until I didn’t anymore. I used to look for that ideal mother in other women my mother’s age. I used to look for her mothering qualities in all my love relationships. Until I realized that the key to wholeness is self-parenting.

The mother is not to be found outside of us in another person. The mother-love is what we open up to. It is always there. We need not earn it or learn it. We need not search for it or find it. We just need to be it and receive it.

Many of us have an inner child which feels scared, lonely, lost or abandoned. Often the only times that we connect with that vulnerable part in us is to criticize or be unloving with that little boy or girl inside. Instead of being supportive, encouraging and unconditionally loving with ourselves we make ourselves feel “not enough” in one way or another.

We can continue in the endless cycle of looking for that love and acceptance outside ourselves in other people, or we can take charge and begin to parent ourselves. We all have wounds to heal; some experiences left smaller wounds, other experiences left bigger ones. There is no wound that cannot be healed through self-love.

When my clients begin their inner child work they are often surprised by how real that little child feels. They might realize that the little one inside is scared or insecure, or feels neglected and is angry for not having been heard. Sometimes the inner child is the part in us which makes us run away from opportunities, or push people away, or act impulsively in some other way. Once we have a clear perception of that voice and realize this is an important part of us, we can embrace it and bring it into the wholeness of our being.

Inner child work is emotional and sometimes surprising; it is always rewarding. Being in touch with your inner child is a huge gift to yourself. What we call the “inner child” is the side of us which allows us to be close and intimate with others.

Being able to check in with the little child part inside to ensure her or his needs are met is the basis for an authentic and fulfilling love relationship. Before we can have a successful relationship with others, we need to establish that relationship with ourselves. When we truly know who we are and what is going on inside we can address what comes up and continuously do our own inner work.

Being aware of your vulnerability in a relationship can mean expressing your feelings and needs calmly, non-confrontationally, lovingly and with the clear expectation that your partner will understand and acknowledge them.

Taking care of our inner child includes taking responsibility for our feelings. Nobody makes us feel a certain way. It also means taking responsibility for our own needs and desires. We need to make sure ourselves that our needs are met, or we need to make clear requests for them to be met by other people.

Embracing all parts of us leads to wholeness. The rewards for doing your inner child work are relationships which arise from an authentic heart space of love, caring and compassion.

Are you ready to connect with your inner child?

Contact Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

What I can learn from my dog

Do you have a dog? We have a part-time dog. We are fortunate enough to dog-sit on a regular basis and are able to be a part of the life of this amazing creature called Teika. She is a beautiful two-year-old sheltie.

Whenever she leaves after a visit of a few days the energy in the house is noticeably different. We miss the tap tap tap tap… tap tap tap tap… of four little paws following us around curiously. We miss her head appearing around the corner and her brown eyes gazing up to us trustingly. We miss her playfulness. Most of all,we miss her loving energy.

She is always up for play, or for a walk. When it is hot, she finds a place in the shade to plop down and just relax. She has never once said no to being lovingly caressed. She knows how to give and receive love with an open heart.

She is never upset about something that has happened in the past, and never worries about the future. She is always fully present with us, right here, right now.

That ability to just “be” in the present moment without “baggage from the past” is the greatest gift she gives us. She teaches us to let go and fully enjoy life. She truly lives in the moment.

Being in the moment is true freedom. The past only has the power over us to the degree we allow it to have power over us. If we live in regret, resentment, un-forgiveness or anger we are stuck in the past. If we allow anxiety to take over it’s because we are worrying about the future.

What if you could completely let go of the past like your dog? What if you could relax feeling that your future is going to turn out perfectly? What if instead of racing towards some imaginative finish line you could slow down just like your dog and be truly present?

Do you want to live more in the moment and let go of everything that does not serve you anymore?

 

For Forgiveness Work, Changing of Subconscious Beliefs and Life Coaching contact

Angelika

905-286-9466

grendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

PSYCH-K® – the Missing Piece

Usually, new clients find me after reading Bruce Lipton’s “Biology of Belief”. Lipton provides the scientific background for the fact that all the cells in our body are biochemically affected by our thoughts. He shows that genes and DNA do not control our biology. Instead, our DNA is controlled by signals from outside our cells, including the positive and negative thoughts we have and—on a deeper level—the supportive or limiting beliefs that we have been raised with.

From Bruce Lipton’s scientific foundation, new clients have usually been lead to Rob Williams, the founder of PSYCH-K®. While the biologist Lipton explains to us how our brain functions, Rob Williams holds the missing piece that tells us how to change limiting beliefs at the subconscious level.

What is PSYCH-K®?

PSYCH-K® uses Kinesiology to determine what our subconscious agrees with or doesn’t agree with. If it does not agree with a particular supportive belief, we have a permission protocol to follow to find out if it is in the highest wisdom and benefit to change a particular belief at a particular point in time and with which balance that can be done. The belief is then quickly and efficiently changed in a whole brain state. Afterwards, muscle testing confirms that a shift has been made. The client’s subconscious now agrees with that particular supportive belief. He or she is one step closer to easily and effortlessly reaching a particular goal.

I have been a full time PSYCH-K® practitioner for eight years. Over the years I have learned many techniques to assist my clients in making changes. Nothing has been as effective, efficient and life-changing as PSYCH-K®. I use PSYCH-K® with almost every client at least at some point during a session, if they have not booked an entire PSYCH-K® session to begin with.

Contact me for individual PSYCH-K® sessions or to take the PSYCH-K® training in the fall.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

The next Basic PSYCH-K® Training in the GTA (either Mississauga or Milton) is coming up October 4 & 5, 2014.

Darryl Gurney is also offering a Basic PSYCH-K® Training on July 26 & 27, 2014 in Vancouver.

Beyond the Labels of Right and Wrong

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

– Rumi

This frequently quoted poem brings up an interesting question: Can we ever truly know the motivations others had when they did something or didn’t do something? Can we ever claim they are wrong and we are right?

We are always so quick to judge others, or to insist that we are the victim in a given situation. And if we aren’t the ones telling the victim story ourselves, you can count on family or friends to do it for us.

When two people split up it seems family and friends feel the need to make one partner wrong and the other partner the victim. Instead of allowing the couple to find a new equilibrium, to build a new relationship of loving co-parenting and being friends, many people feel the need to take sides and to fuel the feelings of resentment and hurt which are natural in the situation.

Why is that? Changes like a marriage or long-term relationship ending brings up everybody’s shadows. It brings up fear in us. We were raised to believe a relationship should stay the same until death do us part.

Life however, is fluid. The only thing to count on is that everything changes all the time. That is not a bad thing at all. Change brings new opportunities for happiness and growth. A marriage can change into a friendship between two parents supporting each other.

Changes are also scary. Even if we are unhappy, we might choose to stay in a situation because it is at least familiar. Or because we do not really believe we deserve to be happy. For some of us, the end of a relationship brings up the thought that deep-down, we wish we had the courage to make changes.

Often times, when we judge someone, we know intuitively that we are just human as well. Remember Grant from my blog on April 26, 2013 “Who do you judge? – The Story of the Immoral Girlfriend”? Last fall, Grant—whose name I changed for the blog—left his wife of 25 years for another woman. He did exactly what he had judged so harshly in somebody else a few years prior. He fell in love with somebody else. Deep-down, he knew all along that this could happen to him as well.

You should never throw stones when you live in a glass house. We ALL live in a glass house. We are all human and every energy that exists in the Universe also exists in us. We can never say we would not do something. We can only live with as much integrity as possible at a given moment in time and trust others to do the same.

We don’t know how much a person has struggled with a decision and how they have acted when we weren’t there. Whenever one person feels hurt, the stories of blame fly. Often, they are nothing but stories. Our left brain likes to fill in the gaps between the facts that we see with an interpretation. Our left brain is a great story-teller, as the brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor has pointed out in her book “My Stroke of Insight”. We can interpret what appears in so many different ways. In general, we like to find proof for our story. Sadly, in some cases, it’s the victim story that we are hanging on for dear life to.

The more we insist on our story of right and wrong and the more we are triggered by somebody else, the clearer it is that the person is mirroring something inside of us. What are they mirroring for us that we are afraid to look at ourselves? As the bystander, is our indignation and condemnation coming from the fear that this could also happen to us?

Once we have healed our wounds, we realize that the other person did not use us, or reject us, but that it was simply time for a change. We have the choice to be stuck in unfounded judgment and hatred, or move beyond it to a new beginning. We can either rebuild a relationship for the sake of the children, or we can poison ourselves and the children with anger and resentment.

The first concept to let go of is the victim story and the idea of blame. There are always two people in a relationship. Is it really necessary to blame either one of them? Usually both have contributed to the end of the relationship in some form. We can endlessly get stuck in “you did this to me”. However, how much less suffering would the children go through if we could strive to move beyond the labels of right and wrong as soon as possible?

And as family and friends, the greatest gift we can give that couple is to support them to establish a new relationship of cooperation and communication.

Are you ready to give someone in your life the benefit of the doubt and move beyond right and wrong?

Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca