Most of us have, at one point, lived in a mindset where we believed that “life just happens to us”. We have pointed at people or circumstances outside ourselves to explain why we are feeling a certain way, why we are suffering somehow, or why we just cannot manifest our dreams and reach our goals. The state of perceiving the world in that way is called victim consciousness.
In this state of our evolution as an individual we have not yet understood that we are powerful creators of our reality. Nobody can make us feel a certain way without our permission. Whatever shows up in our world is a reflection of what is going on inside us. We are creating 100% of the time but are perhaps making conscious choices only 10% of the time. 90% of our creations come from the subconscious mind. Our experiences are a reflection of the beliefs and fears inside us. We respond to the world based on our belief systems.
Moving out of that victim consciousness requires taking self-responsibility. That might at first sound unpleasant or hard. However, “response-ability” broken down means that we all have the ability to respond to whatever shows up in our experience in whichever way we choose. We are free to make any choice in any given moment. Any beliefs that hold us back from making empowered choices can be changed.
The first step is to realize that a law of cause and effect operates in this universe. By taking full responsibility for our choices, decisions, and responses, we take a huge step toward creating more consciously. Blaming others empowers outside influences to dictate who we should be or what we should do.
The common factor in all our relationships and all our experiences is us. We send out energy to everybody and everything we interact with. That vibration that we send out has an effect on our relationships and all situations that we find ourselves in. Once we realize that taking responsibility gives us back control over our life, we manifest more of the reality that we want to see.
Taking responsibility for ourselves and for how we live our relationships requires…
1. The willingness to be emotionally responsible. This means noticing how we feel and admitting to ourselves what we feel.
2. The willingness to take responsibility. Taking responsibility is not about “right” or “wrong”. We are aware that our thoughts, words and actions are part of how the relationship unfolds. That is our contribution to it, our response-ability.
3. The willingness to talk straight: to speak up, no matter what the other person wants to hear. Talking straight does not mean blaming others. It means communicating without judgments, criticisms or attacks. It means communicating only what we have observed, what we feel in regards to what we perceive, and what our needs are. We can then make a concrete request. The other person is free to respond affirmatively or not. Just as we have the response-ability for our life, so does everybody we interact with.
For belief change work and to fully claim your response-ability contact me at