Why should I be the one to forgive?

If you are looking at forgiveness from the traditional point of view, you might ask, “Why should I be the one to forgive? I was right, the other person was wrong. I was the one who was hurt!”

You might also wonder if by forgiving you are giving them a free licence to hurt you or your loved ones again. You might fear opening yourself up to the same hurtful experiences once again.

Traditional Forgiveness says, ‘You have done something to me; you are to blame for how I feel. You wronged me but I forgive you anyways.’ The view is that I am the victim.

New Thought Forgiveness asks ‘Why have I attracted you into my life? What is there for me to learn and overcome? What gift are you bringing into my life by being a mirror for me? How can I take responsibility for my own feelings and beliefs?’

Forgiveness IS NOT

– condoning or excusing what the other person did

– forgetting that the experience happened

– denying your feelings or saying that you are not supposed to have them

– loving the other person or even choosing to be around them

Forgiveness IS

– letting go of the story that you are a victim

– claiming your true power

– taking back your energy that you have tied up in the past

– taking responsibility for your feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, blame, anger or judgment

– intended solely for your own healing

– an act of self-love and self-respect that sets you free

– “for giving” yourself love, healing, growth, evolution and freedom

“Forgiving others is a gift to yourself, given not because the other deserves pardon,
but because you deserve the serenity and joy that comes from releasing resentment and anger, and from embracing universal forgiveness.” (Jonathan Lockwood Huie)

Forgiving does not mean forgetting; it also does not mean loving others. We can choose to forgive but still not love. It simply means taking back the energy that we have tied up with feelings for someone else.

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner!” (Max Lucado)

In a sense, we have kept the people we have not forgiven imprisoned within us. We have been standing outside their jail door to make sure they do not escape. As their guard, we have bound ourselves together with them, instead of letting them and the incident go.

Forgiveness is the gift that you give yourself, the gift that frees you from the pain that you gave yourself by judging others. Forgiveness is a choice to release, to let go; freeing up the energy that binds and blinds you. Forgiveness completes your own healing. It releases you from energy patterns that could contribute to illness or drain your energy.

“When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.” (Dale Carnegie)

The truth is that there are no enemies. People who hurt us are only teachers for us, as they mirror what we need to heal inside ourselves.

The first step of forgiveness is to feel the painful feelings without judgements, to listen to them.

How exactly are we feeling?

What are the feelings saying?

What beliefs or thoughts are underneath those feelings?

What are these feelings bringing to our awareness?

Are they perhaps triggering even older painful memories from our past?

What limiting beliefs or fears need to be healed in us?

An important part of forgiveness is self-forgiveness. Our Inner Critic at times tortures us mercilessly with feelings of guilt, shame or self-blame. It has told us how we have failed and been a disappointment. It is time to claim back that energy as well. Feelings of resentment – no matter whether directed at others or at ourselves – poison us from the inside. They can literally make us sick.


For coaching and forgiveness work contact me



It’s Too Hot – Loving What Is

The thermometer in my car shows 34˚C. As I get out of the air conditioned interior, a wall of humid heat hits me. It feels like 40˚C. “Phew,” escapes my mouth and my eyes meet the eyes of the young man getting out of his car next to me on the parking lot of the grocery store.

“It’s one of those days,” he replies. Then he adds, “But in only three months, we’ll be complaining about the cold again! As Canadians, we are never happy with the weather. It’s too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer!”

He is absolutely right. We do this all the time. We focus on what we do not like and complain about it. We ignore all the wonderful things about summer—or winter for that matter—and focus in on the one thing we do not like.

What prevents us from loving the heat? Most of us have AC in our houses, cars, work places and in all the stores. What is all that complaining about?

We have a free choice to hate something, or to like something.

Last night, I was taking my daughter and her boyfriend to see a theatre show in Stratford. Originally, this was supposed to be a trip with two adults sharing the drive, but things changed. Yesterday morning I realized, I was focusing on the two hour drive home in the dark—which I don’t particularly like—instead of looking forward to the show.

What could have prevented me from enjoying the evening? Nobody has the power to do that but me. My choice to focus on the part of the experience that I do not like, instead of looking forward to spending time with two bright young people who love theatre at least as much as I do, if not more. Once I realized the choice is mine, I had a fabulous evening.

We do this all the time. We choose to focus on what is lacking when it comes to a situation, ourselves, or—worst of all—the people in our life.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. She was completely focusing on the “wrong” eating choices her grownup daughter makes, and on the weight her daughter has put on. By choosing to get all caught up in that displeasure and judgement, she was missing what an amazing young woman her daughter is, how beautiful and smart.

What prevents her from refocusing? What holds her back from trusting her daughter to figure out her overeating?

The same friend does not love her own body. So we can assume that the daughter is mirroring shadow sides to her. In regards to her own body, she also chooses to focus on “flaws”, her “big” tummy, the part of her body that she absolutely does not like. She focuses so much on how ugly that part of her body is, that she feels she is unable to lose weight in that area.

What prevents her from loving her tummy? What is in the way of feeling beautiful and accepting her body the way it is?

From a place of love, she will be able to easily shift her weight. However, it begins with getting rid of old limiting beliefs about her body and opening up to loving and accepting ourselves – or our loved ones, or the situations in our life – just the way they are.

It all starts with Loving What Is.


For a free consultation on shifting your subconscious beliefs with Psych-K®, or Hypnosis, or Coaching contact me



Taking Care of Your Inner Child

A typical and potentially destructive bonding pattern in a relationship is mother-son, father-daughter bonding. In a love relationship, the mother side of the woman often bonds into the son side of her partner and the father side of the man bonds into the daughter side of the woman. This is a natural and normal process that cannot be eliminated. On the positive side, this caring connection provides warmth and nurturing in a relationship. However, if we are not consciously aware of this pattern, it is likely to turn negative.

During the early stages of love, the little girl or little boy inside us is happy. The substitute father or substitute mother that our partner displays tries hard to be a good parent. They are attentive, loving, giving, and generous. However, we are not our partner’s parent. Sooner or later, this interaction is bound to flip, when our partner cannot continue being a good parent all the time. They might become critical, impatient, or even hold back their love or attention in a given situation.

The little child in us is the part that allows us to be truly vulnerable and intimate in a relationship. “It is this child that carries the deepest feelings in our heart and that can recognize the feelings deep in the hearts of others. … This child cannot be fooled by words or by reason because it responds directly to energies or feelings.” (Hal & Sidra Stone, Embracing Each Other, 35) Without being vulnerable we are also not able to experience real closeness with our partner. A balanced inner child brings magic to our relationship.

The little child inside will never grow up or go away completely. However, it is not our partner’s job to parent that younger self of us that we all carry inside. It is solely our job and responsibility to parent ourselves. By taking care of our inner child we ensure a healthier relationship and learn to heal our own wounds.

The vulnerable child within wants to be listened to, acknowledged and honoured. This means taking the feelings of the inner child seriously “but not allowing them to tyrannize us or those around us.” (Hal & Sidra Stone, Embracing Each Other, 49). The more we are aware of the little girl or little boy part inside and of her or his needs and feelings, the more we can integrate that part of us into a harmonic whole.

A regular dialogue with that vulnerable part in us is very helpful. When fears surface that stem from that child inside, it is important to be compassionate, loving and caring with ourselves. Give your inner child what she or he needs—love and the reassuring words of an encouraging parent will gently shift the perspective for the fearful or anxious child.

At first you can make it a daily routine to check in with the little one inside to see how he or she feels, and if they might need something from you as the protective and loving parent. Once you are friends with your inner child, you will notice clearly when an emotion or story comes up, because your inner child is worried or fearful about something. Make sure you have time to acknowledge them, consciously shift their story, and clear out that fear.

Dreams can help you to connect with the needs of your inner child. When we have a dream about a baby or young child, this child is often symbolic for our own inner vulnerable part. The dream can be about a child that we know, or an unknown little boy or girl. Notice and analyze your dreams for what they say about your inner child. Does it feel forgotten, neglected, or in danger? Does it need more love, attention, security or perhaps more laughter and play?

Another very important way of taking care of our vulnerable child inside is to make sure that we have a network of people whom we love and with whom we feel safe. Through that network, our inner child will receive nurturing not just from ourselves, but from a variety of sources. By reaching out to our network of family or friends, we make sure that we do not strain our marriage or relationship with the expectation that our partner has to take care of our inner child by him or herself.

Parenting your inner child is the gift you give yourself and your partner. If both partners take responsibility for their inner child, they can live an open and honest relationship from their aware ego which embraces all our parts inside but does not over-identify with any of them. We can be vulnerable and truly connected to each other from the heart.


If you are interested to learn more about Inner Child Work and how to parent yourself, contact me for a free consultation



Dear Daughter – An Open Letter to My Daughter

Dear Daughter,

Looking at the pictures of your prom, fills my heart with awe, incredible love, and deep pride at the miracle that you are. I had the honour to accompany you through the first 17 years of your life, to be your guide and your student alike. You came into my life as an old and wise soul, and you have taught me more than I ever had to teach you.

You mirrored my disowned shadow parts to me. You shifted my perspective countless times. You showed me what it means to step out of your comfort zone and overcome your fears. You are determined. You don’t accept boundaries of the mind, and you are committed to being the best you can be.

Today, you are an adult, an adult who is in control of her life, trusts her own decisions, an adult who takes responsibility for her own happiness. You have grown to be beautiful, smart, and confident, a woman who I greatly admire for her courage and spiritual maturity. By being you, you encourage me to be a conscious parent every day of my life.

Being a conscious parent means accepting that when you were little I was not as conscious as I am now. It means taking responsibility for the influence I had and have on you in the past and in the present. Above all, it means allowing you to take responsibility for your own life.

As a conscious parent, I am committed to waiting patiently while you figure out what you feel and what belief systems those feelings are based on. At times, it meant sitting lovingly through your anger and blame until you figured out it is time to stop blaming your parents. Being the amazing young woman that you are, it did not take you long to realize nobody can hold you back from being free of the past.

There is no person—parent or otherwise—no circumstance, thought, or feeling from the past, present or ever to arrive in the future that can stop you from being the successful woman that you choose to be. You see very clearly that the only person to hold you back is you, your beliefs, your thoughts and your words.

I watch with admiration as you work through your lessons. You are in the process of transcending perfectionism, and stepping out of the mould of what is supposed to bring happiness and success. You strive to find your own way of living life to the fullest. I trust that you can and will overcome all hurdles, support yourself financially, live the life you dream of, and create the relationships and professional success you desire.

I support you through whatever you choose to do with love and compassion. Above all I trust: I trust that you have all the answers inside.

Your mom

Are You Suffering from Perfectionism?

Our personality is made up of a group of sub-personalities, which we develop as we grow up to better fit into our environment. These sub-personalities are also called “primary selves” because they determine how we appear to ourselves and others, as well as how we act based on the belief systems that we have learned. Some common selves are the Pleaser, the Rule Maker, the Pusher and the Perfectionist.

All selves fall somewhere on the spectrum between primary (we identify with them) or disowned. If an energy is a primary self for us, it is familiar to us and a driving force in our life. Other people might even describe us as that self, for example they might say, “You are such a perfectionist”.

A self can also be disowned. That means it is less accessible to us or even completely hidden or suppressed. What we have disowned, we tend to judge in others. In the case of a disowned perfectionist, we might be somebody who is unprecise and careless when doing a task and judges others as nit picky or too meticulous.

On the other hand, when we over-identify with the perfectionist, we often end up with unrealistic standards that hold us back from completing a task, or we get preoccupied with details. We also judge others as careless, sloppy or negligent. When we see others doing what we would never allow ourselves to do – to be comfortable with imperfections – we might feel angry, resentful and judgmental towards them. When we are either over-identified with or have disowned our perfectionist sub-personality, we have no free choice whether we want to be perfect in a given situation, or whether we can allow for imperfection in a particular situation. We feel we have to achieve perfectionism in all that we do.

The Perfectionist “wants us to look perfect, act perfect, and be perfect in all that we do. It will not tolerate a shoddy job and will drive us to distraction, redoing and redoing everything until it is just right. Nothing is less important than anything else” (Hal & Sidra Stone, Embracing Your Inner Critic, 17).

Our Inner Critic, another sub-personality, finds the imperfections and criticizes us harshly for failing no matter how unrealistic or inappropriate perfection might be in a given situation. The Perfectionist sets such high standards that everything must be perfect, there are no priorities.

There is nothing wrong with having standards, wanting to produce a certain quality of work for example. We all choose to do some things perfectly. However, we should have a choice in every given moment whether we want to strive for something close to perfection, or not. If the Inner Critic beats us up on a regular basis because we are not always perfect, and nothing is ever good enough, the Perfectionist part has become a problem.

It is easy to see how the Perfectionist in us can really make us suffer. We become workaholics, give ourselves ulcers, and are not able to enjoy anything that shows up in our life. We block our creative flow, worrying about our music, writing, acting, painting, etc having to be perfect. Or worst of all, we do not even attempt to follow our dreams and desires because we are afraid that we cannot be perfect, or that a situation is not perfect enough to get into.

In order to step out of our comfort zone and to dare doing something different, all we need to do is change our thinking and our subconscious beliefs those thoughts are based on.

Some common beliefs I help people balance to step out of the perception of being judged by others and to realize that they are perfect already are the following:

  1. It’s okay for me to make mistakes.
  2. I do my best and my best is always good enough.
  3. I care less and less every day what other people think of me.
  4. I allow my accomplishments to be imperfect at times.
  5. I am satisfied with imperfections in my relationships.

When we really embrace that what we are as human beings is perfectly imperfect, we open our life up to new possibilities. We can allow ourselves to go with the flow, be creative without fear, and reach for the stars, as we are perfect enough to experience a perfectly divine life. From that perception, everything you experience is perfect; everything that shows up in your life is perfect for you.

Do you suffer from perfectionism? Do you have dreams you are sitting on because you are afraid they won’t be perfectly expressed? We can reprogram your limiting beliefs and balance out the perfectionist part of your personality. Contact me for more information.




You can also join me for the meditation below to begin working on embracing imperfections.

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A Loving Reflection – Examining Your Stories with Your Partner

Byron Katie’s philosophy of “accepting what is” and her way of examining our thoughts for the truth are inspiring. On July 5th, Byron Katie’s posted this Facebook status:

“A relationship is two people who agree, two people who like each other’s stories. We call it love.”

This post contains some truth, yet it also feels somewhat incomplete to me.

For a relationship to thrive, the two partners need common ground. A strong foundation for a relationship is set when two people agree on some basic beliefs and values regarding life and relationships. Even though strictly speaking, these could be considered stories, those beliefs and interpretations of reality are supporting the bond between two people.

Beyond that common ground, we bring additional “stories” based on old belief systems into all our relationships. We might find ourselves creating experiences in our love relationship where the wounded child inside emerges and takes over. Many such interactions are based on myths about love and relationships.

Every story that surfaces is a gift. Either alone or together with our partner, we can examine our stories for the truth beneath. This requires one partner to hold the space, to be open and listen without judgement, and even to gently prompt us to examine a story for its truth and its value.


Examining a story with your partner might ideally and in an abbreviated form look like this:

Susan: I am struggling with the fact that you don’t ask me a lot of questions. The thought that comes up for me is, “Peter is not interested in me because he does not ask about my day.”

Peter: Thank you for letting me know. I am sorry you feel that way. Would you like to examine your feelings and your story with me?

Susan: Yes. It feels like this unpleasant emotion is going all the way back to my childhood. It makes me feel very small and sad. It makes me feel like my experiences or feelings don’t matter, and that I am not important. I experienced that with my parents many times.

Peter: I can see how that story makes you feel sad. Who would you be if you let that story go?

Susan: I would feel like I am important and that you care about me.

Peter: You are very important to me. I sometimes forget to ask questions, but I will make an effort to ask you about your day more often.

Susan: Thank you. I understand this is an old story from childhood and it is time to let go of it. I will remember that I am important to you.


Notice how Peter, being the partner who holds the space for Susan to do her work, does not get defensive and does not buy into her story. He gives her time to understand where this belief is coming from. He does not try to fix things for her but trusts her to clear the feeling and story out. Susan does her part by avoiding phrasings that blame or accuse. She takes responsibility for her feelings and knows it is up to her to work this out.

In a perfect world, all communications with our partner would unfold like the one above. Nonetheless, setting a clear intention for our conversations to unfold with such awareness is powerful. The effort is always worth it. Examining our stories together allows us to gain understanding of our partner, grow in loving acceptance, and strengthen our bond of love.

A successful relationship is two people who agree to work on their issues together, two people who recognize each other’s stories without judgments, two people who trust each other and support each other’s growth.

Contact me for more information on either couple’s coaching or individual sessions. We can work on your thoughts and inner narratives in individual sessions, or on your interactions with each other, so you can support each other in examining your stories.




 I know your time is valuable and I appreciate you reading my blog. If you are enjoying my articles, you can subscribe to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to enter your email address in the field on the left side of the bar. Thank you for your support!


Turn Your Face to the Sun

(Dedicated to my mom on the 1st anniversary of her death)


“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you”

– Maori Proverb


When I opened “365 Science of Mind: A Year of Daily Wisdom from Ernest Holmes” to the month of July the quote above jumped out at me. Synchronicity has it that this was exactly the quote used at my mom’s memorial service a year ago. With the anniversary of her passing today, I remember her with love and am contemplating the inner shifts which have occurred since her passing.

One of the first thoughts I had after my mom passed was, “I will never again be loved in the same way in my life.” It seems that is a common emotion and fear when losing one or both of your parents. “…with the death of your parent you may feel the loss of the perfect and unconditional love that only a parent is supposed to be capable of supplying.” (Therese A. Rando, How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies, 143)

One of my own daughters echoed that belief when she said to me a few months afterwards in her childlike innocence “Do you know why I love you? – I love you because you love me so much. You are my mommy and you always love me.” As amazing as it was to hear her love declaration, it hurt because it reminded me that the time of receiving that unconditional mother’s love is gone for me. But is it really gone?

“Do you have any kind of relationship with people after they die? Of course. You have a relationship of memory. Precious memories, dreams reflecting the significance of the relationship and objects that link you to the person who died (such as photos, souvenirs, clothing, etc.) are examples of some of the things that give testimony to a different form of a continued relationship. This need of mourning involves allowing and encouraging yourself to pursue this relationship.” (Alan D. Wolfelt, Understanding Your Grief, 92)

My mom and her mother love live on in me. I know she still loves me. It is just up to me to continue that unconditional love by taking care of that little child that we all have inside. I need to look after the little girl who needs to be taken care of, reassured, encouraged and treated with love and compassion. It is my job to integrate her into the wholeness of my being. That enables me to act consciously instead of re-act from that wounded part inside. More than ever, my mother’s physical death is a call to do my inner child work and to parent myself in the way I parent my own children.

Another interesting shift occurred in the family dynamics and the relationship with my father.

“The death of the first parent usually means some reorganization in your relationship with your surviving parent. Regardless of the quality of the relationship, it will need to be readjusted to reflect the fact that your parent is not one of two parents anymore, but your sole surviving parent. You will need to perceive and relate to this parent as an individual, who is no longer one-half of the parental unit.” (Therese A. Rando, How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies, 150)

In fact, the relationship with my father went through a lot of adjustments over the past year. Last summer we found ourselves in deep hurt and misunderstanding. He insisted on making arrangements for my mom’s memorial service and funeral that I felt were not in line with her wishes. That disagreement surfaced a truth that could no longer be ignored. We did not know how to interact with or relate to each other. My mother had always been the go-between and her passing was exposing the gap between us.

Neither of us felt supported by the other; he did not feel respected and I had to forgive him completely before we could move on to hearing, understanding and appreciating each other. At the heart of this experience was a need to know and accept each other as pure Love. Over the next few months, we slowly found to greater understanding and healing as I let go of old stories I had grown up with.

One of the stories I had to let go of was one of my mother’s favourites: the story that she was a victim, making the man in her life the victimizer. I had a lot of judgements around their relationship. With my mother’s death, I was given an opportunity—a beautiful gift—to actually get to know the man who is my father, separate from those old stories.

This transition also meant not accepting new stories based on old patterns either. There was no victim. Both of them attracted into their life exactly the right person they needed for their growth. This knowledge allows me to see my mother with compassion instead of pity and my father with love instead of judgement.

My mom’s legacy, beyond the obvious that she was a beautiful and smart woman living her life with passion, lies in what she did not do. She did not move out of her stories of dependency and victimhood. She chose to feel separate, helpless and unloved. That is her story, but mine still continues to be written, written quite differently.

“The essence of finding meaning in the future is not to forget my past, as I have been told, but instead to embrace my past. For it is in listening to the music of the past that I can sing in the present and dance into the future.” (Alan D. Wolfelt, Understanding Your Grief, 92)

I continue the relationship with my mom and carry her in my heart as I turn towards the sun. When I face the light the shadows fall behind me. Turning towards the sun for me means turning towards Love. Ultimately all that is real is the Love we come from and the Love we all go back to at the end of our lives.

Do Not Let Your Story Define You

“If you look at the things in your life, the things that have brought you some level of harm, some level of shame, some level of whatever: are you allowing those things to define you? Or can you step into your light right here, right now, and define them and say, ‘I no longer accept this, I no longer accept the thing that is harmful, I no longer accept what I feel shame about.’ Because what it comes down to is, it is story!” (Jonathan Zenz, Centre of Spiritual Living, Toronto)

Healing is not about getting rid of our stories, denying them, or suppressing them. Your story makes you the beautiful human being that you are. Healing is about getting rid of the hold a painful story has over you; clearing out the emotional charge the story has for you. The moment you truly let go—forgive others and yourself—you are free. You take the energy back that you have bound up in the past. You are free to move forward into a happier future.

“From heart ache comes evolution, revelation, and resolution.” (Jonathan Zenz)

When we take responsibility as the powerful creator that we are (evolution), we suddenly also understand that we are in control of our feelings (revelation), and can emotionally let go of our story (resolution).

We move up from a state of being a powerless victim, helpless to the things that “just happen to us for no good reason,” to claiming responsibility for our feelings and to creating our future. We realize the law of course and effect is always in place. What has shown up in our life is there for a reason. We co-created it, sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously. The energy we send out draws in “form” that is in line with that energy. The people and events that show up vibrate at the same frequency as we do. The more we are able to come from love and trust, the more positive the experiences that we manifest are.


How do I move out of my old stories?

Step number one is to realize when we are “running stories”. Our emotions are our guidance system to let us know when we are stuck in a place of fear, sadness, anger, or any other strong emotion due to our thoughts. The emotions are an incentive to follow those feelings back to the story or belief that triggered them.

Step number two is to make a conscious decision of wanting to let go of stories that do not work for us anymore. Notice if there are any attachments, because an old story can be strangely comforting and familiar. Can I let go of the “victim mode”? Can I step into my full power as the spiritual being I am?

Step number three is to claim responsibility for our thoughts, words and actions. We might have to transform old limiting beliefs systems as we change our words. Thoughts and words are very powerful. With those words we are constantly creating our reality.

Step number four is to walk the talk. Become a conscious observer of what is going on in your head and what manifests in your life. Course corrections and u-turns are at times necessary for all of us. We are all works in progress.


For coaching and belief change work contact me




What If I Make a Wrong Decision?

We all have to make decisions in life, some of the bigger ones are relationship-related (moving in/out, marriage, having children, separation, divorce), and others might be job-related. When I am assisting clients to become clearer on the choices they are faced with, we examine their beliefs that prevent them from making the most beneficial decision. Fears and limiting beliefs are transformed in the coaching session into more supportive beliefs.

Often I find that a big stumbling block for clients is the fear of making a “wrong decision” or a “mistake.” That paralyzing idea in itself is the problem! There are no right or wrong decisions. We all make choices all the time, some originate from love, others come from fear or a feeling of lack; some come from spiritual awareness and with clarity, others more from Ego and limiting beliefs.

As a result of those thoughts, words, or actions, we draw the same quality of energy back in that we have made our choice from. This manifests as consequences in our life. However, there are no mistakes. Whatever shows up is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and to grow personally and spiritually.

We are all individualizations of the one spirit. “Individuality means real individualized being and real personified self-choice” (Ernest Holmes, Science of Mind, 73). Without our freedom of choice, we would not have the learning experiences that we do.

In any given moment in time, it is better to make a choice when you are at a crossroad, than to sit on the fence afraid to make a mistake. In a way, sitting on the fence not making a decision between choice one and two, is a third choice. It’s the choice not to take responsibility but to let others make a choice for you.

Surrendering to what is unfolding and being open to our own innate wisdom takes away the fear. Know that there are no wrong choices. Spirit primarily wants you to have an experience and to learn from that experience.

“There are no mistakes; none have ever been made and none ever will be made.” (Ernest Homes, Science of Mind, 255)

I am grateful for all my choices, the ones that originated from a higher consciousness as well as those which originated from a place of “need” and feeling separated from Source. Often those so-called “bad decisions” have taught me more than a “right” decision ever could.

What helps us to make more beneficial decisions is being aware of our soul’s purpose. Part of the counseling I offer is life purpose coaching. Once we have a clearer understanding of that purpose, it is easier to make conscious choices from a place of love and trust.


For a guided life purpose journey or belief change work contact me