How to Examine Our Stories for the Truth

“One of the most prominent characteristics of our left brain is its ability to weave stories. … It functions by taking whatever details it has to work with, and then weaves them together in the form of a story. Most impressively, our left brain is brilliant in its ability to make stuff up, and fill in the blanks when there are gaps in its factual data.” (Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight, 143)

Our logical analytical left brain takes facts A, B and C and connects them into a story by filling in the blanks in a way that seems logical based on what we believe. The more emotional charge there is around a subject because of our belief systems and past experiences, the more convincing the story appears.

For example, someone who has rejection issues will have a tendency to interpret other people’s actions as rejection. That is in perfect line with their learned belief system of “The people I love always reject and abandon me”. A belief like that can originate from childhood when the little girl was left by her father. Each time a situation even looks remotely like a rejection, the little girl part inside pops up in fear, and the left brain weaves exactly that old story of rejection.

 

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
(Socrates)

From a metaphysical standpoint, it indeed is not. If we don’t examine our stories for the truth and learn to choose consciously which stories to run and which to let go of, there is not much personal or spiritual growth for us in this life.

 

But how do we examine our life – or in other words our stories – for the truth?

Byron Katie gives us four simple questions to ask ourselves:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
  3. How do I react when I believe the thought?
  4. Who would I be without the thought?

She also suggests trying turnarounds to see if a turnaround is as true as the original story.

The woman in our example notices that her boyfriend is flirting with someone. She deducts that he is rejecting her with this action and projects into the future that he is going to leave and abandon her like her dad.

  1. Is it true?
  2. Can she absolutely know this is true?
    Neither is it necessarily true that he is even flirting at all, nor is it true that his behaviour is a rejection of her. Maybe he is just being friendly, or enjoying the attention of somebody else. And it certainly is not true to assume he is rejecting her, or even remotely thinking about leaving her.
  3. How does she react?
    She feels like rejecting him in turn. Maybe it occurs to her to punish him by withholding sex or being unloving in another way. She might provoke a fight. As she projects her fear of abandonment into the future, she might even be thinking about breaking up with him before he can leave her like her dad did.
  4. Who would she be without the poisonous thought?
    She would be relaxed, could join in the light banter, or have a good time herself. She would signal to her partner through this that she is confident and trusts him. Feeling that trust he would be reminded how lucky he is to have such an amazing girlfriend. In that moment in time, nothing would be further from his mind than leaving this beautiful and self-assured girlfriend.

If the woman in our example continues to examine her story, she would have to try a turnaround as well, by asking herself if she has ever done the same. If someone triggers us with their behaviour, it is because the person is mirroring something for us.

Is it as true to say…

… I flirt and exclude, or reject my partner?

Being really honest with herself, she would probably find an occasion where she has acted in a way that could be interpreted as a rejection. Has she for example really committed 100% to her partner? When he suggested moving in together, did she not reject that for now?

… I reject or abandon myself in any way? Or I am not always true to myself and my needs?

If she is absolutely honest with herself, she might remember an incident when she let herself down, abandoning herself or her inner child in some way.

 

Examining her stories for the truth, allows her to take facts A (he is making eye contact with a beautiful woman), B (he is talking and laughing with her), C (the woman is single and looking for a partner) and weave a completely different story out of exactly the same facts.

She might now look at him and think. “I am so fortunate to have such a handsome boyfriend who other women are attracted to as well. I am proud of how relaxed he is in this social situation. I trust in our love and connection. I should let him know how much I love him later, maybe even suggest to move in together soon.”

 

What are your stories that your left brain is running?

For coaching and to clear our old fears and limiting beliefs give me a call for a free consultation:

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Our Words Are Powerful Beyond Belief

Mind your thoughts

because they become your words

Mind your words

because they become your actions

Mind your actions

because they become your habits

Mind your habits

because they become your destiny.

 

This was one of my favourite poems 8 years ago when I first studied Hypnosis. Today, I was reminded of this poem when working with a client.

Our beliefs, thoughts and words are the key to how we create and experience our reality. In fact, after all these years of coaching clients, I feel stronger than ever that words carry a powerful vibration of manifestation.

Within the first five minutes of her session, the client said eight times (I kept a tally on my notepad) “I am so tired.” Then the real belief underneath slipped out when she said, “I deserve to be tired.”

What was she doing by constantly mentioning her tiredness and exhaustion? She was making it worse, of course. And we have all done that. We have been sick, or in pain, or tired, or feeling strong emotions and we have enhanced that state by not just affirming it to ourselves but by sharing the feeling with everybody else around us.

Why was she doing that? Surely nobody wants to feel tired? She was doing this because she felt she did not deserve to rest and enjoy her life. She wasn’t even sure if she deserved to feel tired. If she could at least convince herself that she deserved to feel that way, she might be able to sneak some relaxation in through the back door. Meanwhile, her guilt about feeling exhausted and wanting to relax prevented her from doing exactly that. She could not give herself permission to sit down and do nothing.

On her free day, she felt compelled to work around the house or fill her day with unpleasant appointments: things that she convinced herself she had to get done. As we worked through this, she realized she deserved better than to feel tired. She deserves to recharge, reenergize and let go. We did some belief change work for her to shift to always enjoying her free time.

I love to see the glow in someone’s eyes when they deeply make a shift to living in line with what their soul needs. She realized she wanted to be fully present to her life and to enjoy every moment. Being present, allowing your soul to just be—to just marvel at how wonderful life is—heals and is healthy for the body, the mind and the spirit.

 

Do you need to clear out old BS (belief systems) to give yourself permission to be more in the now?

Contact me for a free consultation

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Letting Go of Your Stories

How do we create a future for ourselves which is abundant with love, joy, health and prosperity? A reality in which we feel empowered about what shows up in our life and how we respond to it? How do we embrace each experience as a learning opportunity on our path of personal and spiritual growth?

The key is “eliminating your need to hold on to stories from your past that no longer work for you.” (Jonathan Zenz, Centre of Spiritual Living, Toronto). The past is over. All that is real right now is the present moment. The stories do not matter anymore!

Sometimes we need to forgive others and/or ourselves in order to let go of the energy we have bound up in the past. Sometimes we need to examine our stories to find the truth for our growth, healing and evolution. Sometimes we need to face our fears to move forward into the future we really want. “The capacity of letting go of your story opens you up to a brand new story being written.” (Jonathan Zenz)

Part of letting go is realizing that life is not about being right or wrong.“We hold on to our stories because we believe they actually bring us something. We believe they make us powerful because we hold onto this idea that we were right. We were absolutely right!” (Jonathan Zenz) This obsession to be right holds us hostage to the story, to an energy of judgment and righteousness. The true power, however, lies in love.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field. I will meet you there.”

(Rumi)

When we move out into that field beyond right and wrong—into the energy of love—everything is possible. We realize that we are all wounded and that those wounds can be healed with love. We can shift into self-love and be compassionate with ourselves. We can let go of expectations and love others unconditionally.

We are co-creators of our reality. In fact, the Universe would not even exist without our participation as an intelligent force in it.

“You can either participate consciously or subconsciously. What would you rather have the experience of? Conscious, constructive, forward moving, evolutionary living—or subconscious [living], and have it all just show up?” (Jonathan Zenz)

Our experiences have formed us but they do not define who we will be tomorrow. Who we are today and who we will be tomorrow is the experience we are creating in this moment, the story we are writing right now. At any given time, we can change our life and create the kind of experiences we would rather have. We can let go of all limiting beliefs and move into abundance.

Are you ready to let go of your subconscious beliefs that hold you back? Are you prepared to examine your stories for their usefulness and let the ones go that are not for your benefit? Are you ready to forgive and just let go?

Contact me for a free consultation, or to make an appointment for coaching or belief change work.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Heaven Is Within

(dedicated to my mom)

Today, June 23, is my mom’s birthday. Last year, she passed on just 12 days after her birthday. I believe that only her mortal body died and her soul crossed over, continuing to live eternally. My youngest daughter asked me last year where I thought this “place” was that her soul is in now.

Now a traditional Catholic would say she is in “heaven.” What interesting concepts those ideas of heaven and hell are, as places “to go to.” Isn’t heaven possibly within? I believe that heaven is a state of consciousness or awareness to achieve as we are living our life in this body—and beyond.

While she was living her life on this earth, my mom many times chose to go to a less than a heavenly place in her consciousness. She experienced her life as a victim in many ways and was tortured by a lot of emotional pain. She wasn’t as blessed as I am to know that we create our reality through our beliefs, our thoughts, our words, and the stories that we choose to buy into.

I am so grateful that, last year, when she was feeling a lot of physical pain as she was dying, I was able to teach her that she can go to a heavenly place in her mind. For her, that heavenly place was Barcelona, where she had lived as a young woman and where she had once created happiness for herself.

Having had the opportunity to teach her this fills me with the hope that her soul is still choosing to focus on heaven and therefore that she finds herself in her own personal heaven.

Why don’t we all choose more often to focus on the heaven within ourselves? The Law of Cause and Effect states that we create for ourselves that which we choose to experience in our life—and, as I see it, beyond.

When you find yourself “going through hell”, remember that you can change that experience by choosing to create a different reality!

Heaven is not a place outside yourself or even a place to go after you die. Heaven is happening right now, here on earth, when you awaken the heaven within.

Fear

How magnificent could we all be if we were always in the flow of abundance! Trusting that we are prosperous and that Spirit will provide all that we need. Instead, we get caught up in fear and a perception of lacking.

And what about being in the flow of love? There is so much love around us coming from our family, friends, even strangers: all individualizations of the one Spirit that lives in all of us. How often do we close up to that love; how often do we not acknowledge or appreciate it because we are stuck in the belief that we are undeserving or not lovable? Maybe what truly scares us is the realization that we are loved, deeply loved.

Our health is another area in which we manifest lack, out of fear. We have all heard that our body has healing powers inside, that we can all heal ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. But how often do we give away the responsibility for our health out of a lack of belief, a lack of belief in our own power and the power of Spirit inside.

We don’t like to feel the fear, so we push it away, continuing to run stories about not having enough: I don’t have enough money/love/support/help… The list is endless.

We stop the flow of goodness coming into our lives by going into a place of fear. What to do with fear? The first step is to do exactly what we are resisting to do. Feel the fear; sit in it; acknowledge it! We experience that we can survive feeling it.

“If you get scared, sit in the fear.  If you need support, reach out to soul family and bare your soul.  They will support you.  If you shed tears in this release, close your eyes and observe the sensation that follows in the wake of your tears.  Resist the urge to scratch the sensation or wipe away the tears.  Let tears of Truth dry into your skin and experience change.” (Carmien Owen)

The second step is to become aware of the old limiting beliefs behind our fears; examine them for the truth. Is it really true that we don’t have any money, any love, any support?

“Just as the tracks of your tears will pass, so too will your fear.  Fear is a feeling.  Behind every feeling is a belief.  Willingly invoke this knowing.  Practice asking yourself what is the belief that no longer serves you, that is actually surfacing because it was pushed there by the Love that expands within you.” (Carmien Owen)

The third step is to acknowledge what is happening in this very moment as a learning opportunity which spirit is presenting to you. It is time to lovingly bring in a shadow trait we might have uncovered or to lovingly transfer a limiting belief to one that helps us back into the flow of being the master creators of our own reality.

 

Call me or email me for a free consultation

905-286-946

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Knowing How to Use the Law of Attraction

Meditating on an Ernest Holmes quote today, I realized how this spiritual writer, teacher and leader, already wrote in 1926 about the same teachings that have most recently become popular with the more secular “Law of Attraction” teachings through the authors of the book “The Secret,” or the Abraham teachings by Ester & Jerry Hicks.

In his book, “Science of Mind” Ernest Holmes writes, “I have complete confidence in my knowledge and understanding of the Law of God. I not only know what the Law is, I know how to use it. I know that I shall obtain definite results through the use of It. I realize that doubts about my ability to use this Law are things of thought. What thought has produced, thought can change.”

What thought has produced, thought can change! Yes, indeed! We have created one reality with our beliefs, thoughts, words and actions and can create a completely different experience for ourselves by examining our belief systems, changing our limiting beliefs, speaking words in line with what we want to create, and acting with consciousness in our roles as co-creators!

An important element of creation, however, is not to let doubts about your worthiness or ability to be a magnificent creator of your own reality get in the way. These doubts again are limiting beliefs. You are worthy of creating purpose, love, health and wealth in your life! You are able to find your purpose, experience love, enjoy health, and manifest abundance and prosperity!

It is not enough to know of the Law of Attraction and half heartedly try to manifest what you want. Succeeding requires an awareness of your belief systems and clearing out all of those doubts and beliefs that hold you back from really creating the very best for yourself and the people in your life.

We are always creating. We cannot stop creating. Every moment of your day, you are co-creating your experience through the vibrations you are sending out. The most immediate and most harmonious creations come from the heart. The electromagnetic field of our heart is 60 times stronger than the electromagnetic field of our brain. The magnetic component of the heart is even 5000 times stronger than the brain’s magnetic field. This field allows us to find the same state of resonance as other people, animals and plants around us. We draw into our field what vibrates at the same frequency. Being in the heart frequency allows us to bring in more love, greater joy, better health and abundance.

 

If you want to find out more about how to find that loving resonance and to live more in your heart, or how to transform your limiting beliefs with Psych-K®, give me a call for a free consultation.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Do You Want to Heal a Relationship?

Some of the most beautiful and most rewarding work I do is around helping people heal their relationships. Each time I have the honour to facilitate a relationship alignment for a client, I know I am in complete synch with my life purpose to raise the vibration on this planet.  

We are all living in relationships, with our partner, with our children, with our parents, with members of the extended family, with work colleagues and friends. Each time one of us shifts the energy in a relationship away from judgment, anger, resentment, hurt, sadness, disappointment, etc. to pure love, we are taking a step closer to a planet of light and complete peace.

The beauty of this process is that it is not necessary for both people in the relationship to be physically present. Another person can stand in for an absent partner. Because we are all energetically connected, we can make shifts by balancing the chakras for both people and transform the issues and learning that arises.

You can balance the energy with someone who is still in your life and improve that relationship significantly, or with someone from the past to release an old relationship and to finally be free to move on. We can even do an alignment with someone who has already crossed over to still bring healing into that relationship.

A relationship alignment, which is a process from Shadowenergetics, is deeply touching, not just to experience, but also to witness. Each chakra is associated with different issues (support, respect, forgiveness, love, understanding, appreciation, just to name a few) and particular statements to work through as the two partners are opening up to a deep connection with each other. The stand-in partner is often surprised how much he or she can pick up intuitively about the feelings and thoughts of the person he or she is surrogating for. For both people, the process is usually emotional; the personal and spiritual learning is eye opening.

 

Is there someone in your life you want to have a truly harmonious and loving relationship with? Someone you have been struggling to have a good relationship with but you can just never quite manage to improve it? Now you can!

Call me or email me for more information on how to bring respect, appreciation, understanding and love into any relationship.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Finding the Nuggets

A very special woman said to me yesterday when we spoke about why she loves her holistic work, “I like to find the nuggets in people”. How beautiful is that?

She is igniting the light inside others. She is finding the talents in people that will encourage them to sparkle and shine.

This interaction with her reminded me of a quote by Michelangelo:

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free”

Everything is in us already. We are born absolutely perfect, with everything inside us to live a fulfilling life full of happiness, creativity and abundance. All we need to do is trust that the light is there and look for it. We are each other’s “nugget diggers”.

How about we set an intention for today to find the nuggets in our partner, in our children, in our parents, in our friends, in our neighbours? Look for the light in the person opposite, acknowledge it and let them know.

And when they in return find one of your “nuggets,” be open to receiving the feedback. When you feel resistance to see your own light, remember that it is just fear coming up, old belief systems of not being worthy or good enough. This frequently-used quote by Marianne Willamson illustrates that perfectly:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

For those of you who want help uncovering their nuggets, give me a call for a free consultation on how spiritual and life coaching, and belief change techniques such as Psych-K® can help you.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

I am fabulous!

“How are you?”

“I am fabulous!” Mr. P responds with a big smile, his eyes sparkling with joy.

Mr. P is a friend of mine, a very conscious teacher at an elementary school. He strides though the hallways with a bounce in his step and an uplifting and catching energy around him. He meditates with his students, sees the best in every child, and shares a smile with every one of them. He loves his job; he loves life!

When you ask Mr. P how he is, he never just replies “I am good.” His reply is, “I am fabulous!” or “I am fantastic!” or at the very least, “I am wonderful!” Even just the tone of his voice says, “It’s an amazing day!”

The other day, the custodian passed by, and upon receiving the answer, “I am fabulous!” he paused and commented, “You always say you are fabulous, Mr. P. How can that be? Nobody can always feel that good!”

Mr. P’s simple reply was, “I have the choice to be miserable – or to feel fabulous. I choose to feel fabulous.”

I am sure the custodian is not the only one who has wondered about this. What belief systems do most of us struggle with to make us believe that nobody can feel this good all the time? We are affected by old beliefs that tell us that life is hard, that it’s a struggle, that we cannot possibly have it all, that we don’t deserve to be happy all the time, or that if we get too happy something will surely happen to bring us down to the tough reality.

Is that really how you want to live your life?

Or would you like to experience it like Mr. P who spreads his joy and love to everybody he meets?

It all starts with making the decision to shift from gloom and fear to joy and love. You are worthy of happiness! You can feel fabulous! You ARE fabulous!

 

Let’s clear out all the old beliefs systems and fears that are in the way of you opening up to your full magnificence.

To learn more about the life and spiritual coaching I do, about Psych-K® or hypnosis, and how these techniques help to shift your subconscious beliefs, give me a call for a free consultation! 

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca