Clearing Your Relationship Baggage – PART 1

Listen to PART 1 and 2 of this blog as a podcast here, or read it below!

Robert’s girlfriend broke up with him. He says, “I should have known this wouldn’t work. She had so many issues. I always felt like I couldn’t do anything right for her. She made me so mad by being controlling. I felt so trapped. I am glad she broke up with me because I haven’t been invested in this relationship for a long time now.”

Statistics report a divorce rate of 50%, and if you include the romantic relationships which end, the estimated number is as high as forty ended relationships for each formal divorce. We all at some point have experienced the end of one or more relationships. Since we don’t learn how to grieve and complete relationships that end, we carry the unresolved emotions forward into the future.

Just like Robert, the perspective we tend to have is that the other person we were in a relationship with had a lot of emotional baggage. The more important question to ask is how much baggage we brought into the relationship.

Usually, when a relationship ends, both partners tend to assign the blame to the ex-partner. This victim mentality makes the completion of prior relationships impossible. The recitation of the painful loss story, especially when accompanied by a diatribe against the former partner, does nothing to encourage the storyteller to do anything different the next time around. We have to remember that we are always 100% responsible for our feelings and for our reactions to what other people say or do. Nobody makes us feel a certain way and nobody makes us act in a certain way either.

When we hold someone else responsible for our feelings, we put ourselves in an emotional jail. That jail is built on the idea that not only do others have the power to make us feel a certain way, but we have to keep feeling this way until they release us. The victim mentality keeps us blind to our part and seemingly removes us from the responsibility of having chosen to be with or stay with that person.

We are also responsible for following—or not following—our intuition. Our intuition is an early warning system. Usually, there is a point in every relationship where we know whether the person we are with is right for us. When we override our intuition, we cause ourselves and others emotional damage by entering into or staying in a relationship that does not work. Every relationship is of course work and compromise is part of that work. So as long as both people are willing to continue doing the work a relationship can function. However, often one or both people have an intuitive sense that the other person is not the right partner and make an excuse for why they should anyways continue with the relationship.

We are at least partially the architect of some of the relationship disasters because we always subconsciously act based on what we have learned growing up. Often people self-sabotage in a relationship out of the fear of getting hurt again. If you don’t get emotionally attached and instead withhold from your partner, you are already setting up the end of the relationship. In order to be really close and intimate, we need to allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable. We need to connect with and bond into our partner and stay closely connected to him or her.

Russell Friedman and John W. James, the founders of the Grief Recovery Institute and authors of “Moving On”, recommend an exercise in three parts, which helps you to discover your part of a relationship you are in or you have been in. Until you identify your part, you will carry your baggage into the next relationship because you can’t do anything different.

  1. Take Responsibility for How You Feel

Examples of not taking responsibility is, “she made me feel not good enough” or “he made me feel unloved”. Nobody makes us feel a certain way, but our partner often has an uncanny ability to trigger our earliest childhood wounds.

For Robert, his partner triggered early childhood feelings of “not being good enough” and of “not being able to do anything right”. She also mirrored his mother who he had experienced as controlling. He felt he had to have secrets like a teenager might who was rebelling against his parent. His need for freedom and alone time wasn’t met and he felt unable to express his needs.

Where in your relationship did you blame your partner for how you feel? Can you take full responsibility for the feeling and communicate to your next partner what your needs are?


  1. Where Did You Override Your Intuition?

Robert had an early intuition before he and his girlfriend bought their house together that their different values and goals in life would create many problems. However, he felt it was time to settle down because all of his friends where in committed relationships or married. He also felt it made financial sense to buy a house.

Think back to some of the relationships you have been in and see if you can recall when you intuitively “knew” that someone wasn’t right but you continued on anyways. What ideas did you use to justify going ahead? Be as honest as you can.


  1. How Did You Self-Sabotage?

Robert had been hurt in prior relationships and entered this relationship with a heart shield. He was protecting himself from getting hurt again by emotionally giving less this time, by not sharing everything from the start and by sharing less and less during the course of their relationship. His justification was that his girlfriend would just get angry if he told her everything. His belief was that he would not be loved if she really knew him.

Did you protect yourself from getting hurt by not being open and honest in your last relationship? Did you have certain limiting beliefs, for example, “I am not lovable unless I am a certain way”, “If my partner knew who I really was they wouldn’t love me anymore”, “If I share my feelings it backfires”, “My needs are not important so I mustn’t be needy”, “Women/Men can’t be trusted” and so on? These are all subconscious beliefs which hold you back from creating a different relationship next time.

With techniques like PSYCH-K® or Shadow Energetics, you can change these subconscious programs and dump your old relationship baggage to make room for a loving and well functioning relationship.

To read PART 2 of this blog click HERE.


To do belief change work and

complete your prior relationships




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Giving Birth to A New Year

I just had a birthday, one of those that are supposed to be a big deal. I had a truly wonderful get-away with family and some of my closest friends, yet this transition into a new decade of my life did not unfold completely smoothly. This had me contemplating the mix of emotions which can come up prior to a birthday.

I have always felt a certain heaviness and sensitivity around the time of my birthday, and this year even more so. And had you asked me why, I would have told you that I wasn’t quite sure, couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Each year, I wondered if it was the fall and the upcoming winter that felt sad, or the hopes and expectations for the day itself which felt heavy. I knew it had nothing to do with getting older per se. I do believe that with each passing year we become wiser and that each new decade of our life brings new adventures and gifts. Yet, the emotions around this time of year always felt a bit like grief.


This year, my wise friend Dhebi DeWitz said something that really resonated with me. She reassured me, that “it is not uncommon with the week or two weeks leading up to a birthday to feel the heaviness of the old birth year ending and the energies die off that go with it. Just ride it through and know that it is a cycle coming to an end. Then things start fresh energetically with the birth of your new year.”

Her words prompted me to start an internet search. I was amazed how many articles I came across on the topic of “birthday blues”, “birthday depression” or “birthday sadness”. I had no idea this was such a wide spread phenomenon. We all know what birthdays are supposed to be like. They are supposed to be joyous occasions, a time of celebration, a time when friends remember friends and families get together. It suddenly dawned on me that just like Christmas, Mother’s Day or other holidays which are overloaded with expectations, birthdays can also be challenging for several different reasons.

  1. As Dhebi pointed out, something old ends and something new begins. We might need to experience some feelings of grief and of letting the old go as we open up to the new year, or even new decade of our life. There is an energetic shift. That energetic shift can be exhilarating, but may also come with apprehension about the unknown. A birthday can be bitter sweet and that is alright.
  2. 2. Unless you are like my uncle—who literally hopes everybody will forget his birthday—we often have a need for this day to be more significant than other days. Some of our essential needs are the need for appreciation, love and celebration. It is natural that we are hoping for the day to be out of the ordinary and to feel significant or special, celebrated and appreciated.

celebration 2

What we have to be aware of, however, is the tendency to measure people’s love for us by how they respond to our birthday. Everybody has a different love language, and while some people are very good at giving gifts or words of affection, others are better at showing their affection through spending quality time with us or by doing something for us (acts of service). It also all depends on how much value others attribute to birthdays in general. It is easy to misinterpret somebody’s action or non-action in regards to our birthday and make it mean something it does not mean at all.

  1. Just like the end of a calendar year and the beginning of a new one, a birthday can also mark a point where we are contemplating our goals and where we are at in life. Suddenly, a certain goal we have not achieved stands out more, or a particular milestone has not been accomplished. When we are struggling with work, relationships or fertility issues, certain birthdays can be a trigger for sadness or depression. We might have hoped to be at a certain point in our career, or to own a house, or to be married / in a long term relationship at a certain age, or we might feel we are running out of time in regards to having children. We are experiencing grief in regards to our dreams, yet, we are expected to be happy on this special day of ours. Whether a birthday is depressing or joyful largely depends on those artificial deadlines we have set for ourselves.


As humans, we are capable of organizing our life into past, present and future. We have a certain life expectancy and particular birthdays can be more emotional because the number represents something to us. At 20 we are not a teen anymore, at 21 we are considered to be even more of an adult, 25 is the completion of a quarter of a century, 30, 40, 50, 60 and so on mark the beginning of a new decade, 50 is half a century, at 65 we are considered senior citizens, perhaps when we turn 76 or 83 or 87, we wonder how much longer we have because one or both of our parents died at that age, and so on.

  1. Another factor that influences how satisfied we are around our birthday is conscious or unconscious childhood memories of happy or unhappy birthdays. Perhaps, we mourn the long-gone magic of a childhood birthday. Or perhaps, we have had disappointing experiences and we have learned limiting beliefs about ourselves, about deserving and about celebrations. That experienced disappointment might literally be stuck in our body and energy field and can easily be triggered again, unless we release the emotion.


  1. We might not be fortunate enough to have someone in our life who organizes a party or other birthday celebration, and there is work and stress involved in planning the event. That stress is magnified when we feel grief about having to plan and prepare ourselves. How much that sadness hits us depends again on our beliefs, our unfulfilled needs and longings and what meaning we attribute to a particular birthday.

If you are experiencing confusing emotions or heaviness around your birthday, know you are not alone and just ride it through, as Dhebi recommended. You are allowed to laugh and cry, to feel happy and sad, to celebrate and mourn, and to embrace the wide range of your emotions fully, no matter what day it is.

I embrace all my emotions

To release stuck emotions, discover more about your needs and how to meet them, or change subconscious beliefs, using PSYCH-K®, Shadow Energetics or L.E.E.P. (Life Enhancing Energy Processes created by Dhebi DeWitz) please contact



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The Five Blind Men and the Elephant

blindmen & elephant

Have you heard the Asian tale of the five blind men and the elephant? Five blind men come upon an elephant. They have never heard of an elephant. The first man feels a leg of the elephant. He says, “Ah, I know what this is! An elephant is a pillar!” The second man grabs the tail. “Ah,” he concludes, “an elephant is a rope.” The third man touches the trunk and decides an elephant is a snake. The fourth one happens to touch the ear and decides an elephant must be a hand fan. And the fifth one upon touching the tusk is convinced an elephant is a spear.

All five of them have only perceived part of the truth. All five of them have also interpreted their perception based on their old subjective experiences and beliefs about the world. They are only able to interpret what their functioning sense of touch picks up based on the individual “bucket” of beliefs and experiences they come from.

One of the hardest things for us humans seems to be not to jump to conclusions, to remember that our perception is limited and that facts only become a story based on our interpretations. In her book, “My Stroke of Insight”, Jill Bolte-Taylor describes well how our left brain, which she calls our “story teller”, perceives certain facts and how it fills in the gaps between these facts with an interpretation or meaning. We create our story based on those facts. When we come across more facts, we need to revise our interpretation, as the original story otherwise doesn’t match all the facts.

blindmen & elephant leg QUOTE

James N Miller is certainly not alone. Even though I am aware of how our brain functions, it still happens to me that I jump to conclusions. The other day, I sent an email to somebody asking the person for a favour and I did not hear back. I assumed she was reluctant to meet my request. A couple of weeks later, I found out I had sent the email to one of her e-mail addresses which she doesn’t use much. Instead of jumping to a conclusion based on a fear that my request would not be met, I should have followed up again by phone.

blindmen & elephant trunk QUOTEWhen we have children and they come home from school with a story about their day, we sometimes as parents tend to jump to conclusions because we only hear their side of the story. We are convinced the teacher or another child has not treated our child well. As a mother, I had to remind myself several times over the past twenty plus years of the “in dubio pro reo” principle. If there is any doubt or possibility that I have not gathered all the Intel, I should not judge, yet.

Thankfully, I was a teacher for many years and have seen parents show up in school with only part of the story, or with a misinterpretation based either on limited facts or on their own expectations or beliefs about school, or both. Yet, my first response as a mother still was to feel protective of my daughter and want to call up the school to defend her. The reminder that I need to gather more facts before I jump to the conclusion that somebody has treated my child unfairly saved me from making a fool of myself a few times.

Teachers also appreciate when they are approached calmly by a concerned parent. As parents, we can be strong advocates for our children without getting angry and accusing anybody. Having been on both ends of the table, I know that non-violent communication works best and teaches our children that we can talk about any problems.

My mother was passionate and expressive. Even though she wasn’t Italian, she could easily have passed as the proverbial Italian. Happiness was loud, she had the greatest laugh, and so was anger. She was often jumping to conclusions and getting angry at my teachers. Part of me understood she wanted to protect me, another part was really embarrassed by her response. It wasn’t productive. The older I became, I told my mother less and less about school, because I was afraid she would create problems where there were none. Whenever I feel the impulse to defend my children, I remind myself what it was like to have a mother who acts impulsively.

With all our interactions, let’s remember that everybody perceives a situation through their own filters. There is no absolute truth. We are only capable of perceiving an aspect of the truth based on the facts we have access to, our beliefs and our previous experiences. Next time we feel ready to judge a person or situation, let’s keep in mind that we might not have the whole picture, just like the five blind men with the elephant.

blindmen & elephant tusk QUOTE


Belief Change Coaching

Hypnosis & PSYCH-K®


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Waiting for Others to Change

I had several conversations in the last couple of weeks which all boiled down to the same two key questions.

I talked to a young woman who is dreaming about moving abroad and having the adventure of her lifetime. What is holding her back? Her story about her relationship is her block. She is waiting for her boyfriend to “grow-up and come with her”. Her story is, “he either has to change and get on board, or I have to break up with him to live my life the way I want to. And I don’t want to break up with him.” While she is waiting for him to change, she is robbing herself of enjoying the relationship for what it is in the moment. He feels her disappointment, which underneath the surface is already growing into resentment. Her energy of waiting for him to be different from who he is choosing to be in this moment in time is slowly eating away at the relationship.

Waiting 3

The key question for her is, “Can you love him the way he is right now?” If the answer is no, it is time to break up. If the answer is “yes”, and “I can just enjoy being with him in this moment in time. I don’t need to know what is going to happen next year,” this relationship will still have lots of growth and learning opportunities for her.

The second key question is, “Can you love yourself enough to make the choice which is most empowering for yourself? What is most loving for you to do, if the change you are hoping for does not occur?” Her answer was clear. “It is most self-loving for me to move abroad without him.” Some of the beliefs the young woman had to change were: “It’s okay for me to say good-bye”, “I can handle loss well”, “I release all responsibility for others”, “I am loyal to myself and my own dreams and goals” and “I am only responsible for my own life”.

I spoke to a man who is waiting for his fiancée to clear up her debt. His condition for getting married to her is that she clears out her debt first. He has been waiting for a long time and the longer it takes, the more judgmental he seems to feel. He is not enjoying the relationship anymore. He feels helpless and out of control because she seemingly is sabotaging his timeline for buying a house and starting a family. He is asking himself why she does not love him enough to cut down her expenses and clear out the debt. That question is coming from HIS fear of not being lovable. Her love for him has absolutely nothing to do with her financial struggles.

Waiting 7

I can completely emphasize with not wanting to be affected by somebody’s debt. Yet, the same key questions apply for him: “Do you just love her when she is a good little girl and changes in the way and time you feel she should, or can you love her the way she is right now?” At the same time, he has to be very honest with himself and ask the second key question, “What is most self-loving for me to do, have or be in this situation?” He can continue waiting and feeling resentful. He can break up with her and attract a partner who is financially more stable. Or he can find a way to keep their finances separate, move forward in some way and love her, independent of her financial situation.

Some possible beliefs to test and balance for this young man were: “I love others for who they are and not for what they do”, “Our value as a person is independent from our financial worth”, “I trust my fiancée to make the decisions which are right for her” and “I deserve to keep my finances separate and feel financially secure”.

I had a conversation with a woman who is waiting for her husband of over 30 years to finally “get healthy”. She works out, watches what she eats, and uses natural remedies when she needs to. He is overweight, makes unhealthy food and drink choices and self-medicates heavily for all sorts of issues. The more she wants him to live healthier, the more he resists. He doesn’t hear that she is worried that he is causing damage to his body, or that she is afraid that he might not live as long as she. All he hears is criticism. He feels not good enough and is overwhelmed by her discipline and determination to have a healthy life style.

Pushing him won’t get her anywhere. She has to ask herself the same questions the young girl and the young man have to ask. “Can I take my energy back that I have invested into him changing and love him the way he is?” The second question is: “What is most self-loving for me to do, have or be in this situation?” If she just focuses on her own health and enjoys her wellness, he might want to join her. Nobody is going to change from a place of judgment; however, from a place of loving acceptance, it becomes possible. She might need to affirm or balance at a subconscious level, “I trust my husband to make the choices which are right for him”, and “I release any worry about the future and enjoy my life with him right now”.

Encouraging somebody to be the best they can be is different from investing our entire energy into them needing to change. Waiting, hoping or pushing for others to change, can distract us from making our own changes. We can get so busy criticising or fixing them, that we forget to do our own work.

Focusing on what is “wrong” with the other person, also has an immediate effect on how we experience life. We are in relationships to learn and grow. One of the main lessons is to learn to love others and ourselves unconditionally. Love is the best soil for growth and for change. As long as our energy is going toward wanting to change our partner, parent or child, we are robbing ourselves of appreciating and loving them for who they are. We are postponing being happy to a point in the future when the change we want has occurred; we are ultimately depriving ourselves of true happiness.

Waiting 1

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Life and Belief Change Coaching, PSYCH-K®


Happiness Formula

Around this time of the year, when we are doing our taxes, we might find ourselves re-assessing our charitable donations for the previous year. We might ask if we want to continue donating to the charities or organizations that we have donated to so far; are they still close to our heart, or do we want to re-direct that money and donate our time and/or money somewhere else?

Why is it an important question to ask? Because giving to others is an essential part of our own health and happiness. And the more we believe in a charitable cause and truly give from our heart, the more that heart energy circles back to us. By helping where we can, we acknowledge that we are all connected and inter-dependant. It is an opportunity for us to make a difference. Our voluntary choices, which include making the choice to give to others, make up 40% of our experience of being at peace with our life or of what we also refer to as happiness.

The Chopra Well Launch Event

Deepak Chopra talks about a formula for happiness which scientists have found. This formula for Happiness is

H = S + C + V

Happiness = the Set Point in the Brain + the Conditions of Living + our Voluntary Choices

The Set Point in the Brain is the happiness we received in our genes, what we experienced in uterus and in the first three years of our life. That “ability” for happiness makes about 50% of our feeling of happiness. This sounds terrible given that most of us had experiences as young children with parents or other care givers who weren’t really happy themselves. However, the good news is, the set point in the brain can be rewired, changed with belief work, with cognitive therapy (questioning our thoughts and beliefs) or with techniques like Hypnosis or PSYCH-K® that rewire the subconscious mind. We can unlearn old limiting or negative beliefs and overwrite them with supporting positive beliefs about ourselves and our world.

The Conditions of Living, which we always like to think are the only determining factor for our happiness, are responsible for only 10% of our happiness! How much money we have, for example, does not make us lastingly happy. It has been shown that even when somebody wins in the lottery, their level of happiness after a while returns to the level it was at before.

That leaves 40% for the Voluntary Choices. Those are choices we make for pure pleasure (e.g. activities, food, sex etc.) and even more importantly choices that bring us fulfillment (being creative or spiritual, being helpful and giving, for example donating our time or money to a charity, or simply making someone else happy through attention, affection and appreciation) The more we give positive attention to others, the more we show them affection and appreciation, the happier we are and the happier they are. The secret ingredients to Happiness are the three As: Attention, Affection and Appreciation.


There is one more factor to Happiness not contained in this formula, which is the Existential Unhappiness when we have resentments or other negative feelings about the past or worry about the future. The human being is the only creature who can replay negative events from the past and make him/herself thoroughly unhappy in the present, or worry about not being happy in the future with the same effect. Knowing this, it is important to let go of the past and not worry overly about the future.


For Hypnosis, PSYCH-K® or Forgiveness/Letting Go Work contact Angelika



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TV Interview

Yesterday, I was on the show “Health Matters” on Rogers Local TV with my good friend Lisbeth Fregonese, the founder of the Burlington Wholistic Wellness Expo. Lisbeth and her husband Ed, together with their team, are the organizers of a fantastic event which takes place twice a year. Both Lisbeth and Ed are passionate about natural health and wellness, and have their own business, Luminous Energetic Pathways in Burlington.

Angelika talking 1

This year the BWWE is on Sunday, May 31 at the Holiday Inn in Burlington. The second expo of the year will—for the first time in the history of the Expo—take place in the fall in Hamilton. If you buy a ticket from one of the practitioners or vendors in advance, the entry fee is only $25.00. Included in that fee are free mini-treatments from all practitioners. As each year, Michael Moon will again provide his healing music for us. One of the highlights of the show is the morning event, which this year features shamanic practitioner and Hay House author Dr. Stephen Farmer. He will speak about healing ancestral karma.

Stephen Farmer 2

 Stephen Farmer

One of the questions our host Sunita Mohan asked me was why I choose to return to this Expo as a practitioner over and over again. In fact, it is not only me but my entire family. My partner takes part in this expo demonstrating laser acupuncture, my daughter Cara is a distributor for Organo Gold, healthy alkaline coffees and teas, and my younger daughter helps me at my Greendoor table, where I offer mini PSYCH-K® sessions. PSYCH-K® is a way to quickly and effectively change subconscious beliefs.

group shot with Sunita close up

With my daughter Cara, Lisbeth Fregonese, and our host Sunita Mohan

This is an Expo we all wouldn’t miss! It is a very different event from so many other fairs or shows I participated in over the years—for practitioners as well as for visitors. Lisbeth has an amazing talent to pick heart-centred participants who are truly interested in the community. Over the last four years the Expo has grown from 40 tables to 115 tables. Lisbeth is an amazing organizer with a fabulous team of volunteers; everything flows smoothly and the energy is high vibrational. This Expo is about giving and sharing. It is about education and opportunities for the visitors to try out something new without having to pay a fortune to find their perfect fit. The participating practitioners do not view each other as competitors but as a family in which everybody works together to create greater health and happiness.


 Lisbeth & I @ Sunita's show 1

If you are a heart-centred practitioner who still wants to join our team,

contact Lisbeth



If you want to enjoy a fabulous Sunday for only $25, contact me for tickets to this event.




WHEN? Sunday, MAY 31, 2015

10:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.

10:00 a.m. -12:00 p.m. morning event with Stephen Farmer & Michael Moon, (limited seating, register early)

12:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. door to hallways are open

WHERE? Holiday Inn Burlington

3063 South Service Rd, Burlington, ON


Receiving Guidance

Oracle cards are an ancient method to receive guidance. They can help to answer questions we have about an issue we are faced with and to access our intuitive wisdom. Based on the spiritual Law of Attraction, certain cards show up which are related to what our soul already knows but we are not able to see clearly, because it is just on the edge of our consciousness. The cards help bring forth that inner knowing into our conscious awareness. They provide insights into those previously submerged thoughts, feelings and beliefs which we need to become aware of and work with. The insights can show us which thoughts and beliefs we might want to alter so that we can make choices which are congruent with our soul’s purpose.

 Oracle Cards2

One of my favourite card decks is “Messages from Your Animal Spirit Guides” by Stephen Farmer, who is going to be our key note speaker at the 2015 Burlington Wholistic Wellness Expo on May 31. Farmer is a shamanic practitioner, minister and psychotherapist and the author of several books about spirit animals, also called totem animals or power animals. This beautiful illustrated deck of cards features different animals and gives us a brief message from each of them. The accompanying guide book includes a longer description on how to interpret each card’s general meaning.

You can use oracle cards like these on your own, or in a group. Centre yourself and set a clear intention or ask a clear question. The question can be very specific or open ended like “What do I need to know right now?” One way to receive the answer is to shuffle the deck. Sometimes a card seems to fall out. Trust that “coincidence” that this is your card. If no card “jumps out”, stop shuffling when you get the intuitive sense to do so. Then pull a card either from the top of the deck or anywhere in the deck that you are guided to draw from. As you look at the card, pay attention to the first thing that comes to mind. Which parts of the card’s message resonate with you and how?

Last weekend, at our monthly PSYCH-K® practice group, which I offer for the students of Darryl Gurney’s classes, we used Stephen Farmer’s card deck to receive additional insights on which beliefs everybody might want to change. Three cards showed up more than once which was interesting as the participants worked together in groups of two. The same subjects re-emerged for everybody to pair up in teams with a matching topic. Some of the cards which showed up were the boar, the blue heron, the walrus and the bumblebee.

 Oracle Card - Boar

The boar encourages to “face your problems head-on with confidence and courage, and you will emerge victorious”. It’s a call to dig in and rummage around until you have discovered how to solve the current problem you have. Then you need to take immediate action to remedy it. Emerging victorious could be to either having conquered the problem or having changed your thinking about the situation, or both. Possible statements to balance might be “I deserve to get what I want” or “I always succeed in my endeavours” or “I am confident in my decisions”. Obviously each individual situation somebody is facing will give this message a personal aspect of what supportive beliefs are needed.

 Oracle Card - Blue Heron

The blue heron asks to “make a stand for what you believe in and do what feels right in spite of any judgment or disapproval from others”. Trust your deepest sense of knowing what the best action is for you. Don’t rely on others telling you what to do or on their assessment of you. Possible beliefs to change might be “I care less and less what other people think” or “I trust my own opinion and feelings” or “It’s ok for me to displease others to be true to myself”.

 Oracle Card - Walrus

The walrus warns to “remain vigilant about the current situation; pay attention to signs and omens, and let them dictate your choices”. Watch, listen and feel. Be aware of your dreams and other messages. You might want to journal and watch out for repetitions. Does it feel like a certain career situation or relationship is a call to set clear boundaries and to make new choices or changes? Possible beliefs to balance might be “I release all fear and attachment to a specific outcome” or “I trust the guidance I receive” or “I make conscious choices”.

 Oracle Card - Honeybee

The honeybee advises to “let compassion and forgiveness be your top priority in this situation”. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, it does not mean saying somebody was wrong or right, it does not mean loving a person, it just means to release and free up the energy we have bound up with the feelings we have about a certain person or situation. Forgiveness requires that we acknowledge and accept responsibility for our judgments and that we release them. To forgive means to go beyond right and wrong. Sometimes we forget the most important person when we forgive: ourselves. Possible statements can be “I forgive… (insert person’s name) for … (insert what they have done or didn’t do)” or “I forgive myself for… “



is the gift that you give yourself

that frees you from the pain

that you gave yourself by judging others negative.


Angelika 905-286-9466,

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Three Buckets of Water

Imagine you have three buckets of water in front of you. The bucket on the left contains hot water, the bucket on the right cold water, and the bucket in the middle tepid water. You plunge your left hand into the bucket with hot water, and at the same time your right hand into the bucket with cold water. You leave your hands in the buckets for a couple of minutes. Then you simultaneously pull them out and put them both in the middle bucket.

What does your left hand tell you about the temperature in the middle bucket? What feedback does your right hand give you about the water in the same bucket?

Three Buckets

To your left hand, the water in the middle feels cold. However, for your right hand, the water appears to be hot. You could say that at the level of the buckets the hands are having an argument: “This water is cold!” “No, how can you not feel this! This water is hot!”

The buckets represent our conditioning, the experiences we have had and the beliefs we have learned. We all come from a specific bucket and have a different perception of the same reality.

When we remember that everybody comes from their own bucket, we can have true compassion for how others experience life and respond to it. Instead of insisting to be right, we can see things as relative to our “buckets”. If we want to experience the “water” rather as “hot” as opposed to “cold”, or vice versa, we need to change our own perception, which we have due to our individual conditioning. We need to examine our beliefs and change them at a subconscious level.

Bruce Lipton quote

We are running the next Basic PSYCH-K class on October 4 & 5, 2014 in Milton, Ontario. In this introductory class with Darryl Gurney, you will learn muscle testing and three different ways of changing a subconscious belief.


At the end of the weekend, you will go home with a set of tools to quickly and efficiently change your beliefs. You will have given yourself the gift of choice what to belief and what to feel. You will be able to rise above your bucket and see things from a wider perspective.

Life Changes

Life changes, such as a birth or a death, getting married, getting divorced or even moving house have a way of “throwing us off our routine”. We need to make a new start, find the equilibrium again. These events have a way of shaking our beliefs and challenging the way we think and feel.

Some of these events we tend to classify as “happy” or “joyous”, others as “sad” or “stressful”. Yet, they all have one thing in common, they bring change and potentially the experience of not being in control.

How do you deal with change? Do you thrive on change? Do you welcome it into your life? Do you go with the flow, take things as they come? Or do you want things to stay the same or predictable.Do you need to feel like you are always in control? Or can you let go of all detachments to a particular outcome?

How you feel is entirely due to your beliefs about yourself and the world.

I just had such a big life change myself, and like all these events that turn our life upside down, these changes are a beautiful gift to re-examine our life. It is a call to go inside and check in on what our feelings and needs are. Are we holding onto old beliefs that do not serve us well? Is the story you are telling working for you?

Do the new parents feel that they are capable and that life with the newborn will be full of joy? Or are there fears and worries clouding this amazing experience?

Does the family who has to say good-bye to a loved one hold beliefs to support them through this time of grieving? Are they able to communicate their emotions and continue the legacy of the person who has passed with gratitude rather than with regret, guilt or angst?

Do bride and groom start their married life together with confidence, and open communication skills? Are they able to be in touch with their vulnerable sides and to connect from that vulnerability?

Do the partners who separate come from a peaceful place and a loving heart to establish a successful co-parenting relationship? Or does anger and hurt cloud everything?

Does the family who moves into a new neighbourhood, or even moves to melt two families with this move, communicate their individual needs and find compromises for everybody to get what they require? Can they be open and non-judgmental with each other while they work out a new routine?


For Life Coaching, to change your subconscious beliefs with PSYCH-K® and to learn more successful ways of communication contact Angelika


Responsibility for Co-Creating ALL Our Experiences

Mother’s Day—like Christmas—seems to be one of those days which are heavy with expectations and emotions.

When asking my clients how their mother’s day weekend unfolded, it didn’t surprise me all that much that a few people experienced disappointment when their own limiting beliefs surfaced. Those beliefs range from “I am not appreciated” to “I never get what I want” on the side of the mothers, and “I can never make my mother happy” and “I am not good enough” on the side of the children. Clients related communications to me that clearly went less than desirable due to the fact that limiting beliefs and negative expectations were brought into the interaction.

Sometimes we manage to ruin an entire day for ourselves due to those “programs” running in our head. Yes, you read that correctly. WE ruin the day, not our family members who didn’t do or say what we wanted them to do.


Do you sometimes have experiences like that which you do not enjoy? You can change them! It is up to every single one of us, no matter whether we are parent or child, wife or husband, to create the family experiences we want. When we feel a day “not going right” it is up to us to change the experience.

Be honest with yourself about your part in the unsuccessful creation. Stop blaming the other family members and take responsibility for shifting the energy.

Do your loved ones trigger your own beliefs, fears or insecurities? Then take responsibility for them. Other people are only mirroring what is inside of you. Do you have needs that aren’t being met? Then make clear and loving requests. Do you want to enjoy the day? Then do it!

You are the pivotal point of your experience. You are the one feeling a certain way. You are the one who gives the experiences in your life a certain meaning. At any given point during a day, you can shift out of disappointment or resentment and into appreciation and joy.

Isn’t it wonderful that you are responsible for co-creating ALL your experiences? That means YOU can change what unfolds for you.



PSYCH-K® is a technique to change your limiting subconscious beliefs and to help you create loving relationships and experiences you want to have. Shadow Work helps you to understand mirrors and get rid of triggers and judgments which are in the way of being truly loving and accepting with each other.

Contact Angelika for Belief Change Coaching


Eureka Moment

One of the best moments for me when working with clients is when somebody has an “Aha! moment,” a Eureka experience. The Greek word Eureka means “I found it”.

What do they find? They find an important insight. They realize that we all create our experiences from our subconscious beliefs and that we have the power to change those beliefs. Through this, we are able to make changes to our thoughts, words, actions and our entire experience of life. I am blessed to be witness to epiphanies like this. Sometimes it happens before somebody comes to me to change their beliefs, sometimes it happens in the first session, sometimes at a later point.

I love that look on someone’s face when they realize that absolutely nothing can keep them from creating the life they truly want. All we need is to accept full responsibility for what shows up in our world. Or to quote Don Mottin: “There is no person, thought, idea, memory, image, feeling, or sensation out of the past, in the present, or ever to arrive in the future that could stop me from being successful”.

We live in a reciprocal Universe, and what we attract into our experience in based on our belief systems. As we change the beliefs, we are able to send out a different energy with our thoughts, words and actions. Anything that we can conceive of, we can achieve. Anything responds to the law of cause and effect. We are the cause for the effects in our life. Our thoughts, words and feelings have the power to manifest anything we can imagine and feel.

When your subconscious agrees with beliefs that support you in reaching your goals and dreams, it is easy and effortless to create the reality you truly want. Hypnosis and PSYCH-K® are techniques to efficiently change these subconscious beliefs.

For more information contact Angelika



Design Your Life

A beautiful and brilliant girlfriend said to me a couple of days ago, “I design my life the way I love it”. I couldn’t help but think how this is the perfect motto for all of us.

What kind of a life are you designing, creating and manifesting for yourself?

What type of energy do you surround yourself with? Is your environment, your home, your office the way you want it? What are the people around you like? Did you know that the five people we associate with most affect our energy immensely? Often we become like them and they become like us.

If money or other limitations where no issue, what would the life you really want to have feel like?

You are the creator of your experience. You are the director of the movie called “My Life” while you at the same time get to act in it. There is no reason to suffer through your life. Pain is a part of life, but suffering is optional. Painful experiences are learning experiences. Suffering for years afterwards is a choice. At any given point in time, you can decide to change your beliefs, thoughts and feelings and have another experience right here, right now. Release and let go. The past is not a precedent for the present, or the future.

In the case of my girlfriend, who has had painful experiences in the past like all of us, the choice to design her life extends to her home, her exterior—she has a fabulous sense of style—and her inner world. She takes care of herself and seeks out relationships that are nurturing, stimulating and supportive. She asks herself what her needs are and makes sure she fulfills them. As a result, she is balanced and happy with herself. She is a joy to be around.

You can design your life as well. All it takes is to decide what you want to change, examine from which beliefs you have created what has shown up in your life so far and then change those beliefs on a subconscious level.


For coaching and belief change work with PSYCH-K® and/or hypnosis contact Angelika