Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work – And How to Ensure You Are Reaching Your Goals for 2020

Another year has passed and if you are like most people, you might be looking back right now, reflecting on your toughest challenges but also your happiest moments. Perhaps you can feel gratitude for what unfolded in 2019 and how it has served you. You might also be looking ahead, wondering what dreams and goals are still waiting to be fulfilled.

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I had a client a couple of days ago who, when we spoke about goals for the new year, insisted that she doesn’t know what she wants. Yet, we had already determined a hierarchy of her values and she had great clarity on what her top six values are. Ultimately, our values determine our dreams and goals. If family and friends are one of my top values, I will need to spend time with them in the new year. If adventure and new experiences are important, I might plan an exciting trip. If health is high on my list of values, I might want to make healthy lifestyle changes. Or if financial security is an important value, being out of debt or owning a house might be one of my goals. If companionship and love are high values, I might want to put myself out there to find a partner.

When we feel a resistance to planning ahead or figuring out our goals, we might hold an underlying belief that our wishes and dreams never come true anyways. Or perhaps we had a traumatic experience in the past where we made important plans which have not come true, and we are still grieving the loss of those dreams and plans.

We also need to have supportive subconscious beliefs in place to reach specific goals. Popular new year’s resolutions tend to be losing weight, exercising more, living healthier (e.g. quitting smoking, drinking less, changing your diet), financial abundance, travelling, or attracting a romantic partner.

But new year’s resolutions alone simply don’t work very well. They only work if we get our powerful subconscious mind on board with our conscious goals. Let me illustrate this with a couple of examples.

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In order to successfully lose weight, we for example need to believe at a subconscious level that

  • we can lose weight easily and effortlessly
  • exercising and moving our body is fun and enjoyable
  • we have a normal or fast metabolism
  • it is safe to be slim and attractive
  • it is easy to keep the weight down

and much more.

Or in order to get our finances in order and create abundance and financial security, we need to for example believe that

  • we can support ourselves
  • we deserve to make and keep money
  • we are good with money and finances
  • we can be a “good person” and make lots of money
  • we can do what we love and make the money we want

to just name a few beliefs.

No matter what dreams or goals we have, no matter what we want to create in our lives, whether that is better health, more abundance or loving relationships, we ultimately want happiness. So, it all begins with the decision to start loving what is and what we are creating right now. It literally begins with the decisions to live a joyous life in the present moment, instead of putting happiness on hold until we have reached a particular goal. From that joy we can more easily create what we want to see in our lives.

We also really need to focus all our attention on making the change. Another reason why new year’s resolutions don’t work is that we often do not consistently set and follow concrete action steps to reach our goals. Choose one goal that you want to reach and make it your first priority by figuring out reachable and reasonable action steps. Where attention goes, energy flows. And where energy goes, shifts and changes occur.

Making changes and keeping your new year’s resolutions starts with changing your subconscious beliefs and your thoughts. As you think differently, you are able to create better health and experience more abundance in every area of your life. PSYCH-K® and the belief change technique from Shadow Energetics allow us to reprogram your limiting beliefs into those beliefs which support your conscious goals for 2020.

Reach out to Angelika for more information

or to book a session in person

or—if you are not in the area—through Zoom.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

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De-cluttering Our Home and Our Mind

With the New Year, the urge to “sweep out old energy” and to make room for the new came in strongly. I usually get a desire to de-clutter at the end of each year but this time around the de-cluttering took on a scope like never before.

We sold the old sofa, bought a new sofa, gave away other furniture, rearranged several rooms, gave away boxes and boxes of books (we are all avid readers) and we were also finally all ready to part with old toys.

 

De-cluttering brought up a lot of emotions. When we let go of the old and move into a new phase, we leave our comfort zone. Giving away many of my daughters’ toys brought up happy childhood memories for all of us, and the realization that there is no stopping the growing-up process.

For my older daughter, who is done with school soon, it was emotional to give away old books, as it reminded her of the countless hours of reading together, and of feeling loved, safe and taken care of. Life had a predictable structure back then, while now her future is wide open.

For my younger daughter, the tears welled up when she was sorting through her stuffed animal collection and giving away half of them. “After all,” she said, “all stuffed animals need someone to love them.”

And I, myself, had to fight the urge to keep everything “for my grandchildren.” I had to remind myself that before I have grandchildren, many other adventures and projects await me. That energy needs space and room to manifest in my house and in my mind.

There was a lot of dust in the air when we moved things around. However, my dust allergy only kicked in as I was going through old books, especially those that I had used to teach and home-school my older daughter during another time of transition and great change in our lives. I found that interesting, considering that allergies are an over-response of our immune system to something quite harmless which it perceives as a danger. My body was clearly communicating a fear to me, while another part of me felt ready to overcome that fear of what only appears to be dangerous.

 

For all of us, the resistance to let go wasn’t about the things themselves; it was about the feelings that they bring up in us. It was about moving forward, letting go of what is familiar and therefore feels safe. Unless we let go and fully live in the present with courage, we cannot create anything new. This requires moving out of our comfort zone and allowing ourselves to feel that the future is bright and exciting.

 

De-cluttering your house therefore goes hand in hand with de-cluttering your mind. In fact, they both feed off each other. Beliefs and thoughts which we must allow to grow when de-cluttering our environment and our minds are:

– Change is safe and exciting.

– I thrive on change.

– I welcome change and growth.

– I joyfully release the past and expect the best now and in the future.

– I embrace new energy and new opportunities.

– I make room for the new.

– I stop waiting for __________ and create the life I want NOW!

– I attract wonderful new experiences, people and things into my life.

 

The house now feels airier and lighter. There is an atmosphere of bubbly excitement. It filled us with expectancy and anticipation for fabulous and wonderful new things to come in 2014.

 

Do you want to de-clutter your mind and your surroundings?

For coaching and belief change work with techniques like Psych-K® and hypnosis contact Angelika

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

905-286-9466

How Do I Keep My New Year’s Resolutions?

Every year at New Year’s, most of us look back at the old year. We reflect and review. What were our successes and happiest moments? What dreams are still waiting to be created, or what goals do we want to strive for? Popular resolutions are losing weight, quitting smoking, exercising, de-cluttering, gaining financial abundance, or finding a romantic relationship.

Sometimes we get a bit confused about what we want to manifest. We say, for example, we want more money, better health, or a loving relationship. We focus on a certain dollar amount, or on having to exercise and cut out food, or on searching for that one perfect partner.

In each case the question really is, what do you want to FEEL?

Money is a means to an end. What you really want might be to feel abundance, or freedom to do what you like.  Health is very abstract, and we can exercise and diet all we want and still not feel healthy and full of energy. We all need to find out what works for us as individuals to think and feel healthy. Love, again, is a feeling and is not bound to that one perfect relationship partner. When you begin to live loving relationships all around and you attract more love into your life, you become a magnet for the romantic partner you want.

No matter what dream or goal we have, no matter what we want to create in our lives, we ultimately want happiness. So it all begins with the decision to be happy. Let go of the past; stop rehashing the good and bad that’s over; stop worrying about the future; stop focusing on lack and on what you do not want! Decide to be happy right now, right here!

Pick one or two changes that you want to make and make them your first priority. Where attention goes, energy flows. And where your mental attention goes, your feelings follow. To experience what you want to experience, you begin with thinking what you want to feel.

Making changes and keeping your new year’s resolutions starts with changing your subconscious beliefs and thoughts. As you think differently, you are able to create better health, feel greater happiness and experience more abundance in every area of your life.

 

For belief change coaching, and techniques like hypnosis or Psych-K® to change your subconscious beliefs quickly and efficiently, contact Angelika:

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

905-286-9466