Empty Nest?

Have you ever tried to push an emotion away instead of dealing with it? Doesn’t work so well, does it? It’s a bit like trying to push a beach ball under water. It is bound to pop up again sooner or later.

I had my own week of pushing down a beach ball. Ten days ago, my oldest moved out. She and I have always had a very strong bond. A friend of mine, who has a son a few years older, has been making foreboding remarks about the challenges of adjusting to children moving out for the last few months. Resolutely, I had refused to listen and “have her put suggestions into my head”. After all, her son had no siblings and the term “empty nest” did not apply to me at all.

When you google “empty nest syndrome” definitions like this one come up: “Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time. This can result in depression and a loss of purpose for parents, since the departure of their children from “the nest” leads to adjustments in parents’ lives. Empty nest syndrome is especially common in full-time mothers.”

Nest 2

I just couldn’t see how that could possibly apply to me. I have my work which I love, a close loving partnership, another daughter and a stepdaughter. Does that sound like an empty nest? I was worried about how my younger daughter would deal with her sister being away from home. I feared she would miss her best friend and mentor. Her older sister is the one she is closely bonded into. However, I was not expecting to feel grief myself.

My daughter moved out on Friday. On Sunday, my stepdaughter, who is an intuitive little one, asked me twice out of the blue “Are you okay?” I replied to her I was feeling tired but secretly started wondering what she was picking up on. By Monday, I was starting to realize that I was suppressing something. The bond with my oldest is strong and I trust it will change and become in some ways even deeper than it is. So that was not it. Yet, I felt moody, restless and just not myself.

It took a couple of meditations and some muscle testing to realize what was being triggered. A very old primal fear came up. I traced it back to being barely four years old. At that time, shifts happened in my family with one of my sisters being born and my mother almost leaving my father due to another crisis. The experience I had back then was that it is not safe for me when shifts happen among the people I love. Once I had uncovered that limiting belief, it was easy to clear it out.

Nest 5

We can clear out fears or limiting beliefs using PSYCH-K® or another belief change technique. In addition it can help to use NLP-based techniques of refocusing on what we want at this point in our life. This helps us to further adapt to changes and to be able to direct our creative energy towards our own/new goals.

Sometimes we underestimate periods of transition in our life. We are getting married or moving in with someone. We are having a baby. We are melting two families. Somebody moves out. We are getting a promotion into a more challenging position. Somebody in the family is retiring. All these are usually “happy” events. Yet, just like losing our job, a break-up of a relationship, a separation, a divorce or losing somebody through death, transitions shake us and require adjustments. They can trigger emotions and fears. They might bring limiting beliefs up to the surface. They are, however, a gift. They are an opportunity to do our growth work.

Are you going through a transition in your life?

For Life Coaching and Emotional Healing Work

Contact Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

An Opportunity to be Someone Different

Each Halloween is an opportunity to express our fantasies and to play like children—even for just one night. We light up the darkness with pumpkins—some of them masterfully carved. We can step out of who we are and try on “another skin,” show up completely differently. Allow our playful side, our ugly shadow, or our creative talents to come out. Halloween is about the freedom to be who we want to be—if just for one night.

Why do we not make it a habit to ask ourselves each day,

“Who am I truly? How do I want to show up today?”

Instead we wear our same old masks each day without realizing that we have the freedom every day to be who and what we want to be.

Who are you underneath that mask?

Would you like to take the mask off and show up more authentically?

You can be the best version of yourself in every given moment of every day. Make the choice to live from the heart. Clear out all limiting stories and beliefs we hang on to out of fear.

Hypnosis and Psych-K® are techniques that help us shift our beliefs at a subconscious level. Shadow work assists us in becoming more whole, in loving and embracing ourselves.

Let’s discover what it takes to live more authentically, to be a happy healthy you!

For Life Coaching and Belief Change Work contact Angelika at

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

905-286-9466

Being in the Glorious Moment

My friend posted this on Facebook and got 50 Likes for it.  It really hit a cord with people. Why is that?

Why don't we splash in puddles

 

When she later told me the story about splashing in the puddle, I felt anxiety rising in myself as I wondered if I would have jumped into the puddle to end up all covered in wet mud. I never jumped into puddles when my kids were little. What is all that fear about?

Reluctance of jumping into the puddles seems to me to be symbolic for being afraid of life. Nothing terrible is going to happen if we jump into the puddle, yet nonetheless, we do not allow ourselves to be free and truly playful. We do not give ourselves permission to be completely in the moment and enjoy life like children still know how to do.

We complain about the heat, the rain or the snow instead of enjoying being hot or wet or cold. We run inside when it rains instead of realizing how perfect each moment is. It is perfect to feel life with all our senses, to just be right here, right now. Jumping in puddles is a form of meditation, of letting go of everything that is not real—the past that is over, and the future that has not happened yet.

There are so many different ways of being in each glorious moment. Connect with nature, be completely present with somebody, read, write, paint, be creative, sing, dance, feel, meditate… the list is endless and very personal.

What is on your list? How are you going to be in the moment today?

I went home and told my 12 year old that next time it rains I want to jump in the puddles in our backyard. Her reply was, “I am not doing this with you. That’s for 5 year olds!” With sadness, I realized that I have already taught my own children to judge and consider what is “appropriate” instead of what it means to enjoy life.

In what ways are you fearful to fully enjoy life? What beliefs might you have to let go of to be completely immersed in each glorious moment? What holds you back from fully embracing joy and happiness?

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

905-286-9466