Haunted By the Past

“I don’t need to forgive”, Maria said. “I have moved on and built my own life. My father is the one who left us for this woman. He was always a selfish man. He doesn’t deserve to see me or meet his grandchildren. He will only hurt us again. Also, my mother would be so upset if I forgave him…”

Maria came to me with relationship issues with her husband and children and with depression. As much as Maria claimed that she had let go and moved on, she was still emotionally and energetically hooked into the past. She, understandably, was afraid to get hurt again. She felt the need to continue to punish her father for something that happened 25 years ago. She only had contempt for him and his second wife. She hadn’t ever grieved the loss of her father or forgiven him. She loved her mom and felt that she owed it to her mother to hang on to the hurt and anger.

Maria was looking at forgiveness from the traditional point of view, and was asking, “Why should I be the one to forgive? What he did was disloyal and wrong. My mother and I were the ones who were hurt.” She blamed him for her pain and for what he did to her mother. In her eyes, he abandoned and wronged them. They were the victims.

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New Thought Forgiveness looks at forgiveness quite differently. When we forgive, we are not excusing what the other person did. However, when we know that we are always co-creators of our reality, we need to question the idea of perpetrator and victim. This view of forgiveness acknowledges that anger, hurt and shame of past events affect us emotionally, mentally and physically in the present, often on a daily basis. We can choose at any time to move from being a lifelong victim into freedom. In order to achieve that freedom, we need to drop into our hearts and ask our heart’s intuitive wisdom and guidance, “What is there for me to learn or overcome and what gift does this situation have for me? How can I take responsibility for my own feelings and beliefs?” And most importantly, “what do I need to do to be free and joyful again?”

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When we forgive others, we free ourselves from allowing the experience to adversely affect our life in the present. When we truly forgive, we reclaim our power, the power to decide if and how that past event will affect each moment now. Forgiveness and letting go allows us to get on with living a joyful life, the life we were meant to live. “Until you forgive, you still have an energetic connection to the past person or event.” (Dhebi DeWitz)

Gregg Braden explains how forgiveness allows us to clear out our anger, judgments, and pain regarding specific events in our lives. And Dhebi DeWitz summarizes in “The Messenger Within”: “It does so without condoning the action, pardoning the behaviour, or absolving what has happened. It simply acknowledges that the event occurred. Forgiving does not mean the other person is no longer held accountable for his or her actions because those do have consequences. Nor does it relinquish responsibility.

It simply means that when we bless and forgive the people, circumstances, and events that hurt us in life, we are acknowledging their existence, and by doing so, it allows the hurt to move out of our being.”

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Energetically, we have kept the people we have not forgiven imprisoned within us. As their prison guard, we have bound ourselves together with them, instead of letting them and the incident go. The others are unaware we have put them into this jail inside ourselves. The only ones who suffer are us by putting ourselves into that prison with them. No matter what they have done or didn’t do, people will always experience energetic consequences. The law of cause and effect always works.

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Maria had to admit that a lot of her energy and her thoughts directly or indirectly revolved around what her father had done. Each time she visited her mother or spoke to her on the phone, Maria silently blamed her father for her mother’s depression. Whenever she had a fight with her own husband, Maria found herself calling him selfish and thinking “Typical men! They are all the same!” All this was pain she was giving herself based on the experiences she had and the beliefs she had learned growing up.

Forgiveness is a choice to release, to let go, freeing up the energy that binds us into the past and blinds us to any other perspective. We can choose to let go of the old emotions stored in our body and establish new, more supportive beliefs. Forgiveness is for our own healing. It releases us from energy patterns that contribute to emotional and physical pain, to illness or to energy drain. Hate, anger, hurt, sadness, shame and other suppressed emotions affect our overall health.

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The reason why it is usually not enough to simply decide to forgive is that forgiveness is not an intellectual process. The conscious decision to forgive is only the first step. Forgiveness happens at the level of the heart and includes our subconscious mind.

One such process of letting go is the “Blessing of Forgiveness Process”, developed by Dhebi DeWitz from The Heart And Soul Academy, which includes three parties:

One such process of letting go is the “Blessing of Forgiveness Process”, developed by Dhebi DeWitz, which includes three parties:

  1. Those who inflicted the suffering
  2. Those who suffer
  3. Those who witnessed the suffering

 

  1. Forgiveness of Others:

Forgiveness is not for the other person. The real reason we forgive is because we don’t want to suffer and feel hurt every time we remember what they said, did or didn’t do. Have you ever considered that nothing anyone ever does is because of you (Don Miguel Ruiz)? What somebody did to you has absolutely nothing to do with you, but only with them.

Maria’s father did not leave her because she was “not enough,” but because he was longing for love and his own happiness. The actions of the offending person are a result of the beliefs and learned behaviours of that person at that time. People are dealing with their own inner anguish and turmoil. Maria’s father did not know how to improve the relationship with her mother and did what many people do: he moved on to the next relationship. The actions that hurt Maria were a reaction to the suffering that played out in her father’s own mind, and that he acted upon while involving Maria and her mother. He simply acted based on his perceptions that his marriage was over, on the pain that he carried within him from his own childhood and on his longing for love and happiness.

Once we have this awareness, it helps us to not take what the other person did personally, and then—with the understanding that we are all human, and with compassion for the other person’s perception—it will lead us to true forgiveness. By forgiving others, we are still acknowledging the existence of their hurtful actions, but by doing so with heart-consciousness rather than the mind alone, we allow the hurt we have taken in so deeply to be released from our body. We can rationalize all we want, but until we forgive in our heart, the person, event, or circumstance has the power to haunt us. On the other hand, when we truly forgive, it frees us from the limitations we have placed upon ourselves, and allows us to live in greater joy and happiness.

  1. Forgiveness of Yourself:

Often, we forget that the people we most need to forgive are ourselves. We might have directly or indirectly contributed to the painful event, but even if we didn’t, we have to forgive ourselves for taking whatever happened to us in too deeply – so deep that it shut us down, kept us helpless and small, and paralyzed us from living fully in this present moment. (Debbie Ford). We also might need to forgive ourselves for judging ourselves. In which ways have you been unkind to yourself? What have you blamed yourself or judged yourself for?

Maria realized she never felt good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, loveable enough. She was usually critical with herself, beating herself up for not being a good daughter, a good wife or a good mother. She also had to forgive herself for taking in too deeply that her father left her mother, so deeply that she never wanted to see him again and that it made her afraid to trust men, including her own husband.

  1. Blessing of the Witnesses:

Her father left his first family when Maria was ten. Her mother refused to let her have contact with her paternal grandparents. Her grandparents were helpless witnesses to the suffering, feeling unable to do anything. Maria blamed them for not taking clear sides for her and her mother. Maria had learned from her mother that there were sides to take. Revisiting the situation as an adult and putting herself in her grandparents’ shoes, she realized their confusion and helplessness.

The people who were bystanders of the painful event, like Maria’s grandparents, carry a part of the energetic imprint of the event within them. They might have felt powerless or helpless to prevent the pain and suffering in the past and they might still suffer from their inability to comfort or help in the present. “When we bless those who have witnessed the suffering, it releases their energetic cords or connection to the situation.” (Dhebi DeWitz)

 

Forgiveness in all three cases means letting go of the past and cutting energetic chords which drain us. Not to forgive is a choice to remain in what is familiar, the emotional pain. “If we say, ‘I just can’t forgive’, then what we are really saying is, ‘I prefer to live with my emotional poison, with my pride and my anger. I prefer not to move from this place of suffering.’” (Dhebi DeWitz)

We might not always be able to forgive everything in one go and we might have to do a heart-centred forgiveness process or ritual several times, but the choice not to forgive at all is the choice to continue being a victim and to remain in anger and pain.

 

Are you interested to experience and learn Dhebi DeWitz’ Blessing of Forgiveness Process and other ways of forgiving from your heart?

Join me for this workshop:

Sunday, March 19 from 10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.

Topic: Forgiveness

LOCATION: Mississauga

Fee: EARLY BIRD $67 (by Feb. 14), $80 thereafter

BRING A (New) FRIEND SPECIAL $59 (each)

 

The Blessing of Forgiveness Process is also available in Dhebi DeWitz book “The Messenger Within”.

If you are enjoying my articles, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

Angelika, 905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

 

 

Sexual Moksha – Sexuality Beyond Our Limiting Beliefs

Here is a brand new workshop, created by my friend Darryl Gurney. He calls his workshop “Sexual Moksha. Liberating Your Sensuous Soul for Pleasure, Magic and Creativity.”

“Moksha” is a Sanskrit word and means “Liberation” or “Emancipation”. Why would we want to liberate ourselves from our sexual conditioning, you might wonder? Is it really that important? What do I gain from working on that area of my life?

Our sexual energy has an impact on our overall health and happiness. This energy is located in our second chakra and is also our creative energy, our innovative impulse and life force energy which allows us to be connected to our spirituality.

One in three women and one in six men have been sexually abused at one point. These experiences affect us consciously and subconsciously for the rest of our lives. Abused children usually make these incidents mean something about themselves; they often experience guilt or shame and learn beliefs about themselves which prevent joyful and fulfilled relationships. Every one of us, whether we had abuse experiences or not, has been affected in some way by the sexual shame present in our culture. Sexual shame, dysfunction and guilt block our life force energy, stifle our creative energy, our passion, and our joy. Beliefs about being a bad person (shame), about having done something wrong (guilt) or not deserving the best that love and life have to offer are the root for co-creating a reality of limited health and happiness.

Our sexual energy has an impact on our overall health. Sexual energy is energy in motion which keeps our body vibrant, young and healthy. Leonard Laskow. MD, a former gynaecologist, has done extensive research on sexual diseases and has found a strong correlation between our sexual-emotional issues and physical issues. Herpes, for example, on the emotional-mental side can be connected to difficulty trusting others, struggling to forgive ourselves and others and challenges around self-love and loving others. As his patients healed their emotional issues, the physical symptoms dissipated. Impotence, to just mention one more of many examples, has been connected to a fear of loss and confusion in relationships, performance stress or sexual shame.

When we liberate buried emotions and release limiting beliefs, our life force energy can flow again. Our sexual energy can connect us to the Divine, and allows us to experience unity and bliss with a partner. Our sexual energy is also a potent force for manifestation. When we place our intention to create and manifest something at the tip of an orgasm, the energy goes out into the field with great power. If you want to read more about how we block our true potential please continue reading part two of this blog, called “Sexual Moksha – How We Block Our Energy Flow”.

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Those of you who have met Darryl have known him as a heart-centred healer who creates an atmosphere of trust and safety through his loving presence and laughter. So you won’t be surprised to hear that this workshop once again has lots of moments of playfulness, light and a lot of fun. Dress comfortably, be prepared to move your bodies, dance and play with different energies and let the inner child come out to liberate your soul.

I am sponsoring the first 2 day “Sexual Moksha – Liberating Your Sensuous Soul for Pleasure, Magic and Creativity” Workshop in Mississauga on April 23 & 24, 2016. Contact me to sign up. Early Bird is as always three weeks prior to the class, on April 1.

Angelika 905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Snapshot Moments

Do you know that feeling when you can’t help but think your heart is going to burst? Driving home from dinner on Friday night with my family and two of my best friends, I had one of those moments which I call a “snapshot moment”. The kids started singing and in no time, all six of us were singing “Lean On Me”. My heart was overflowing with boundless joy and deep love. It was a simple yet powerful moment in time. And there is a part in me who takes somewhat of a kinaesthetic snapshot at that moment to eternalize this memory.

Sometimes a heartfelt experience is a small moment like being together and connecting through a smile, words or music, through love and trust; sometimes a snapshot moment can be an important moment, a significant episode.

snapshot moment 2

One of my favourite snapshot moments is holding my first daughter just after she was born. I can instantly recall the feeling in my heart which I had as I was looking into her eyes. It was the end of a five year long fertility struggle. She was a surprise baby who, according to the doctors, was not supposed to have existed. She was the greatest gift I had ever received up to that point.

A heart-opening snapshot moment is usually full of love, laughter, inner peace, deep gratitude, aliveness, flowing in the moment, feeling complete or having a sense of unity and bliss.

snapshot moments 3

Love is the impulse towards unity. In a snapshot moment there is no separation between you and others. Your heart is so full that there is no room for fear-based emotions like greed, jealousy, envy, resentment, anger, inferiority or not feeling good enough. We instinctively know the truth of who we are. There is no doubt that we are perfectly lovable and absolutely enough exactly the way we are.

In Holoenergetics® and Shadow Energetics® we use these loving memories to bring up heart-felt feelings in the centre of our chest to shift energy and to heal ourselves, others and our relationships through love. We do this, among other things, by embracing our dark or light shadows or by clearing and balancing the energy in relationships to each other.

Why do we utilize the power of love? Because love is the universal harmonic, the desire for unity. “While love can take many forms, its essence is relatedness. We can become aware of this relatedness or non-separation, which always exists. We can experience and feel it as the impulse toward unity, and we can express and manifest it through our actions.” (Leonard Laskow, Love as a Healing Force)

Because love dissolves all separation and smooths all chaos it is a powerful healing energy and the one catalyst for transformation. Our inability to love ourselves or to receive love from others is the source of most of our physical or emotional issues. As children we often receive mixed messages about love. During the process of growing up we are taught that we are separate and not safe. We develop a “me/us against them” consciousness. In her beautiful audio CD Your Heart’s Prayer, Oriah Mountain Dreamer shifts our experience by suggesting we say “some of us” instead of “they”. She then even takes it a step further and exchanges “some of us” with “part of me”. Hate and fear dissolve into understanding and love when we shift our consciousness towards unity.

Heart in Sky 1

Our struggles with love and with deep-seated feelings of separation are the result of our childhood experiences of conditional love or what felt like conditional love. Or we had experiences of abandonment, humiliation, rejection or betrayal. Those experiences lead to feelings of unworthiness, shame, and guilt that we are “not enough”. Shame, guilt and unworthiness breed physical and emotional illness.

When illness manifests in our body, we can choose to remain focused on symptoms and treating those, or we can go to the source of the disorder and transform it. This means going into ourselves, into our heart, to that part of our being that maintains the sense of unity instead of feelings of separation, isolation, fear or pain. It means choosing love, joy and peace within your mind and body. Nothing is more important than the feeling of self-love and happiness inside.

Being happy is the cornerstone of all that you are! Nothing is more important than that you feel good! And you have absolute and utter control about that because you can choose the thought that makes you worry or the thought that makes you happy; the things that thrill you, or the things that worry you. You have the choice in every moment.

—Abraham

What is your favourite snapshot memory? How often do you connect with one of those memories? How often do you laugh? How often do you hug your inner child and check in with her/his needs? How often do you connect with the love your true essence has for you, all part of you?

If you are enjoying my posts you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the follow button in the right hand corner of your screen.

To experience Holoenenergetics®, Shadow Work, Hypnosis or Belief Changes through PSYCH-K®, or to take part in a workshop

contact Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

Unity Consciousness

If you leave a print of your five fingers on a glass or a mirror, you see five separate dots. On the level of the glass, your fingers appear to be completely unattached to each other. However, on the higher level of our three-dimensional perception, we can see that all five fingers are connected to the same hand

Hand on Glass 1

That we are all separate and alone and that we have to fend for ourselves is a huge illusion. Just in the same way those five dots were made by one hand, we are all connected and part of the same living system. We breathe, live and thrive as one. If we hurt part of the system, we are hurting ourselves.

“Feelings of separation that result from the feared inability to love or to be loved frequently bring illness into our lives. Illness is often a cry for help, a call for love and a deeper sense of connectedness in one’s life.” (Leonard Laskow)

The mentality of “me/us versus them” is the root of fear, anger, violence and disease. The feeling of separation, of being alone, unsupported and unloved breeds Illness. It has been scientifically proven that frustration, anger and fear weaken our immune system. If you are angry at somebody, you are energetically hooked to that person, giving your power away and allowing your emotional, mental and physical wellness to be compromised. You might as well be drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

“When the illusion of separation dissolves at a spiritual level, love allows us a state of oneness that harmonizes even the seemingly dissonant patterns of illness and injury.” (Leonard Laskow)

If we do our own physical, mental and emotional work, including forgiving and letting the past go, we can heal anything. An important part of that healing is to develop our loveability, our ability to love ourselves and others. When we exchange the “I” in I-llness with a “We”, the result is We-llness; wellness for all. Love is the impulse towards unity. Through Love and connectedness, we can heal and become whole again. We can experience our oneness, our universal relatedness.

That Healing Love is not a romantic love; it is far beyond that experience. It is an unconditional, all-accepting love for everybody. It is a love free of judgments, without expectations or conditions. It is a love which does not need to be earned or learned, it just needs to be stepped into, expressed and received. When we tap into true heart-centredness, into loving ourselves and others, we establish a link between us and everybody else. Fear completely dissipates.

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You can listen to the Being State Meditation to experience a sense of unity and being all one right now.

Angelika Baum

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

The Number One Quality of a Healer

What is the one quality that all successful healers have in common? Science shows it is Love. Now, what does that mean?

Love is a very misunderstood word. It is a, “portmanteau” or “suitcase word”, a word which is an umbrella for so many different feelings. We open up the suitcase with the label “Love” and we throw all sorts of things in it. We use it from “I love chocolate” to “I fell in Love” to “I love God”.

Dr. Laskow & wife.

Leonard  Laskow  & his wife Sama

Leonard Laskow, MD took love into the laboratory and experimented with bacteria and cancer cells. His definition of this complex vibration is:

“Love is the awareness of relatedness

and the impulse towards unity.”

(Leonard Laskow)

What we love, we want to become one with; that could be food, nature, another person. There is a movement towards unity. Unconditional Love means unconditional acceptance and moving into resonance with something or somebody. Dr. Laskow found that going into resonance heals because unconditional love resolves duality to unity. The key to healing is becoming one with whatever you want to heal rather than to fear it, repress it or fight it.

When you strike an A tuning fork and bring it close to another A tuning fork, that second tuning fork will also begin to vibrate. Similar frequencies vibrate with each other. Just as one tuning fork vibrates with another we can also be in that resonance with each other.

Resonance is not an example of love. You can be angry with somebody and be in an angry resonance. However, when you are in a loving state, resonance is always present.

Love doesn’t create unity but it reminds us of what we tend to forget: That we are all connected, we are all one! This is a time of remembering our oneness. Love is awakening to oneness at the deepest level. We live in a world of apparent separation and Love reminds us of the illusion of separation.

In the lab, Dr. Laskow discovered that he had the greatest impact by coming into resonance with the bacteria, or in other words, total unconditional acceptance of the bacteria’s existence, without any judgment.

Dr. Laskow then introduced an intention into the field of coherence. Coherence is a stronger form of resonance; he explains that he became “like a human laser”. Love plus an intention reduced the growth rate of bacteria by 50% as opposed to the control group,

Everything that we resist, persists. Bacteria resists being killed or destroyed, but there is no resistance when they are loved.

With cancer cells, he explored different intentions. The most powerful intention, which brought the greatest results was for the cancer cell to “return to the natural order, harmony and growth rate of its pre-hyper active cell line”. Instead of focusing on killing the cells, he focused on them becoming what they originally were.

The more energy or feeling is put into an intention the more effective it is. Another interesting find was that by coupling a thought form with an image the results were doubled. He was able to reduce the growth of a cell by 40% instead of 20% when he added an image to the thought. He was also able to stimulate the growth rate by 15% with thought plus imagery.

The bottom line of all the experiments is: Love plus Intention have a real impact on cancer cells and therefore on healing.

Based on his research in the lab, he developed his workshops and called this technique of Healing with Love, HOLOENERGETICS®. Holoenergetics means healing with the energy of the whole, which is greater than the sum of the parts.

Dr. Laskow concluded that if separation is an illusion, it must take energy to keep the illusion up. If all this energy is released by bringing people back into wholeness, all the energy is freed up for healing. The energy of love is released and facilitates the healing. Love is not necessary for physical healing because the body knows how to heal, but at times just the release through love is sufficient for physical, emotional and mental healing.

Holoenergetics teaches a particular breathing technique to go into a whole brain state, in which both hemispheres of the brain come into a beautiful place of balance. He also teaches how to breathe into the space at the back of your heart and become an observer from that place. The practitioners learn to transpersonally align with another person from heart to heart. The most important quality for the practitioner is to develop and to hold that field of coherent love.

Holoenergetics includes tracing of an emotional or physical issue. Through the tracing process, we go back to the root cause of when a separation happened, either through an experience or an interpretation of a situation which crystallized into a belief of being separate, not good enough and so on. In the process, the experience and the limiting beliefs are cleared out and then replaced by what we really wanted to feel and believe at that time.

My personal favourite is the Holoenergetics Forgiveness Process. I have written many blogs on the healing power of Forgiveness. In this process, it might seem like you are forgiving the other person but it’s all really about you. Truly letting go of the energy of anger, resentment, sadness or hurt frees you up for your own healing, evolution and growth. And within that process, the most important person to forgive yourself is your younger selves. Judgment and anger at ourselves is what separates us from our true essence and veils what we are at the core of our being: Love.

 

Are you curious about Holoenergetics?

Darryl Gurney is finally teaching a Holoenergetics class again in the GTA:

 

Holoenergetics Workshop

Friday, March 6 – Sunday, March 8, 2015

HOURS:

9:00 a.m. – 6:30 p.m.

LOCATION:

Milton or Mississauga

EARLY BIRD: $575 or ($550 when you bring a friend)– if $150 deposit received before February 12, $650 thereafter (Prices include tax)

 

Who is Your Instructor?

darryl

Darryl Gurney