Marty, The Richest Man in Town

My friend Karen mentioned an inspirational book a while ago which is one of her favourite books. Not feeling well the other day, I grabbed the book as an easy read. My! It was an easy read, but am I glad I had a big box of Kleenex near by!

“The Richest Man in Town” is the story of Marty, a man in his seventies, who worked at Wal-Mart in a small town in South Dakota. What made Marty so remarkable that the author V.J.Smith decided to write about him?

Marty Martinson

Marty wasn’t like other cashiers. He loved people. He greeted every customer and really connected with them through listening, asking them interested questions or saying something nice to them, always coming from a truly authentic place. At the end, when the customers handed him money, he counted out the change, he “placed the change in his left hand, walked around the counter to the customer, and extended his right hand in an act of friendship. As their hands met, the old cashier looked the customer in the eyes. “I sure want to thank you for shopping here today, he told them. ‘You have a great day. Bye-bye.’”

His line up was always the longest. He made everybody feel special. People didn’t mind waiting for a friendly word, a handshake, or even a hug if they wanted one and a true connection from one caring human to another human. Marty spent about two minutes with each customer but he made those two minutes count. For those two minutes, the respective person—whether old or young, whether a cute little girl or a tough biker covered in tattoos—was the only person in Marty’s Universe. He treated everybody with respect and dignity.

Marty handshake

Marty was born in 1926, grew up during the great depression, served in World War II, and never had a lot of money throughout his entire life. He had a wife, who he still at 76 felt was the prettiest girl he had ever met, and four children. He was humble, kind and compassionate. He lived in a trailer, yet was one of the happiest people. He had understood some simple truths:

  1. Try to do a little more.
  2. Only you can make you happy.
  3. Relationships matter most in life.

If we just assume for a moment that this simple man had the simple knowledge to live a happy fulfilling life independent from his outer circumstances, we really have to ask ourselves honestly, “Am I giving other people or outer circumstances the responsibility for how I feel? Or am I taking full responsibility for my own happiness?” and “If relationships matter most in life, do I put enough time and love into my relationships?”

Marty - Goethe quote

Personally, I find that I have to re-adjust my priorities every so often. It is so easy to get caught up in working, networking or superficial social contacts. All this is important but when I am on my death bed what will truly matter? The moments of real connections, the ways in which I have touched somebody else in their heart, the times in which somebody else felt seen, heard and accepted.

The entire town seemed to know Marty because he had a friendly word for everybody who came through his line at Wal-Mart. And Marty was human and liked that people remembered him for his kindness and friendliness. However, it seems Marty also cared in the same way about his own family. Sometimes we care so much how strangers see us that we forget that the people closest to us are the ones who matter most. Did I take that extra moment to be truly present with my child as he or she was talking? Did I connect with my spouse today? Did I hold that loving space of just listening for my mother when she called? Have I given somebody the gift today to be the only person in my Universe for a few moments?

Being compassionate and caring is not necessarily about fixing problems for others. First and foremost it is about listening, acknowledging the other person and their feelings and showing them that they matter. Even if they choose to feel less than positive, can we hold that space without fixing? Holding the space does not mean commiserating with them and confirming for them that they are a victim of a situation. Holding the space means trusting that they are whole, complete and resourceful. It means knowing for them that they can and will change their experience and how they feel—in their own time and in their own way.

marty - Make every moment count

Choosing to do what matters most, to be fully present with every person you encounter, creates happiness for them and for yourself. Make each moment count. The happiness you give comes back to you. That’s why Marty, a simple man without money or college education, was the richest man in town.

Angelika

Relationship Coaching

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

905-286-9466

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Happiness Formula

Around this time of the year, when we are doing our taxes, we might find ourselves re-assessing our charitable donations for the previous year. We might ask if we want to continue donating to the charities or organizations that we have donated to so far; are they still close to our heart, or do we want to re-direct that money and donate our time and/or money somewhere else?

Why is it an important question to ask? Because giving to others is an essential part of our own health and happiness. And the more we believe in a charitable cause and truly give from our heart, the more that heart energy circles back to us. By helping where we can, we acknowledge that we are all connected and inter-dependant. It is an opportunity for us to make a difference. Our voluntary choices, which include making the choice to give to others, make up 40% of our experience of being at peace with our life or of what we also refer to as happiness.

The Chopra Well Launch Event

Deepak Chopra talks about a formula for happiness which scientists have found. This formula for Happiness is

H = S + C + V

Happiness = the Set Point in the Brain + the Conditions of Living + our Voluntary Choices

The Set Point in the Brain is the happiness we received in our genes, what we experienced in uterus and in the first three years of our life. That “ability” for happiness makes about 50% of our feeling of happiness. This sounds terrible given that most of us had experiences as young children with parents or other care givers who weren’t really happy themselves. However, the good news is, the set point in the brain can be rewired, changed with belief work, with cognitive therapy (questioning our thoughts and beliefs) or with techniques like Hypnosis or PSYCH-K® that rewire the subconscious mind. We can unlearn old limiting or negative beliefs and overwrite them with supporting positive beliefs about ourselves and our world.

The Conditions of Living, which we always like to think are the only determining factor for our happiness, are responsible for only 10% of our happiness! How much money we have, for example, does not make us lastingly happy. It has been shown that even when somebody wins in the lottery, their level of happiness after a while returns to the level it was at before.

That leaves 40% for the Voluntary Choices. Those are choices we make for pure pleasure (e.g. activities, food, sex etc.) and even more importantly choices that bring us fulfillment (being creative or spiritual, being helpful and giving, for example donating our time or money to a charity, or simply making someone else happy through attention, affection and appreciation) The more we give positive attention to others, the more we show them affection and appreciation, the happier we are and the happier they are. The secret ingredients to Happiness are the three As: Attention, Affection and Appreciation.

happiness-formula

There is one more factor to Happiness not contained in this formula, which is the Existential Unhappiness when we have resentments or other negative feelings about the past or worry about the future. The human being is the only creature who can replay negative events from the past and make him/herself thoroughly unhappy in the present, or worry about not being happy in the future with the same effect. Knowing this, it is important to let go of the past and not worry overly about the future.

 

For Hypnosis, PSYCH-K® or Forgiveness/Letting Go Work contact Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

If you are enjoying my posts you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. Click the follow button in the right hand corner of your screen.