Influences of a Distant Past

In 2004, I was walking down the stairs in our house with my youngest daughter Tia who was just three years old at the time. All our family photos were hung up chronologically on the wall by the stairs. Suddenly, the little one stopped with a faraway look on her face. Absentmindedly but very seriously, she said to me, “I had to come to this family, you know.”

Intrigued, I softly asked, “Why?” After a short pause, she replied, “Because I had to be with Cara again.” My curiosity was piqued. Excitedly, I prompted her to tell me more, but just as this strange altered state had come over her, it disappeared instantly. The next moment, she was a regular little three-year-old once again, happily bouncing down the stairs.

Cara & Tia montage

Cara is Tia’s 5½ year older sister. The two girls have the closest and most loving and supportive relationship I have ever seen in siblings. They are opposites in many ways, yet best friends who always have each others back. They would make an adorable couple, but in this life, they have chosen to be siblings.

Around that time that my youngest told me so matter of factly that she had to come to this family, I was just about to start my hypnosis training. One of the ways to access past life memories in your subconscious mind is through hypnosis. The past life regression is a two hour session in which the client is guided back to two childhood memories from this life and—if everything goes by the book—to two previous lives. This somewhat time intensive method is best for clients who are very visual. Seeing and feeling firsthand what occurred in the past is step one of understanding and healing.

After many years of offering these past life regressions in hypnosis, I feel that muscle testing is a faster way of accessing the information about what interference patterns have been carried over from a past life. Even though our physical body dies with each incarnation, consciousness itself is continuous and the energy of unprocessed traumatic experiences remains in our energy field. Instead of spending a two hour session on entering into a hypnotic state and accessing the memories mostly in a visual way, we can, within a very short time, muscle test the information necessary.

muscle testing 3

We can muscle test the time period, gender, age, social and financial status and whether the interference pattern was created on your own or in relationship to others. We can figure out what chakra was affected and what the cause of the conflict was. When we have a basic understanding of what happened, we can focus on healing the interference pattern. I find that often forgiveness work will help to bring closure to the past life and clear out the hold that the distant past still has over the person. Other times, an emotion needs to be released or beliefs learned in that life need to be changed.

Interference patterns from past lives are not the only way we are affected by experiences prior to our birth. Epigenetics has shown how the cellular memory or DNA affects the next generations to come. Energy is never lost and is still contained within the consciousness of one family.

Dhebi DeWitz explains: “Our ancestor’s experiences, beliefs, and emotions leave an impression, a molecular scar or adhesion, on our DNA and in our lives. Those adhesions that permanently attach to the DNA can be replicated right along with it through the next generations. If someone in your ancestral lineage experienced hardships, tremendous trauma, world disaster, Holocaust, famine, injustice, a scalping, or suffering of some kind, the chemistry from that stressful experience, to some degree, becomes imprinted on your DNA.” (DeWitz, “The Messenger Within”)

These DNA imprints can affect our perceptions, behaviours and life experiences and with it our relationships, our prosperity, our health, and our overall level of fear versus trust.

Influences of a distant past - familytree1

One of my clients had an ancestral line in which all the women on her mother’s side, right back to her great-grandmother or even further, endured great hardships, experiencing wars, deaths, raising their children on their own and having to be really strong and self-sufficient. She herself had grown up hearing that she also was a strong woman. With that ancestral lineage, it can be challenging to embrace our softer side. My client was also concerned about continuing this family pattern. Rather than being a strong woman coping alone, she would like to manifest an equal partnership of mutually supporting each other.

When I guided her through the ancestral healing process, she had the vision of the men in her family coming together to join the women. They had been there all along. She had the insight that the women were strong yet supported by the men in the background. For herself and her female ancestors, the healing opens up a future of not having to continue the pattern of struggling alone.

Dhebi describes a case in her book of a female client in her mid-50s who had been struggling in her business. During the process, the client noticed a cloud of dark, heavy energy along her father’s side of her linage. Her grandfather had lost a fortune during the Great Depression. After clearing out this pattern, the client reported back that her business was flowing without difficulty now, everything lining up and falling into place.

When we make the choice to heal our ancestral lineage on both our father’s and on our mother’s side, we bring a higher level of consciousness into our lineage line which affects us as well as our children and grandchildren positively.

To do some past life or ancestral healing work contact

Angelika, 905-286-9466 greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

To facilitate your own healing work I highly recommend “The Messenger Within” by Dhebi DeWitz. One of the downloadable resources is a guided shamanic process to energetically clear both lines of generational imprints. The guided process will also be available on the Heart and Soul Academy website as an audio version.

If you enjoyed my post, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen. A related blog you might be interested in is Children Remembering Past Life Memories

 

A Son’s First Hero and a Daughter’s First Love

Have you heard the saying “A Father is a son’s first Hero and a daughter’s first Love?” No matter whether we are boys or girls, our first male role models teach us—just like our first mother figures—what love is. Through them we experience what it feels like to be safe, comforted and loved, or if they are unable to provide that for us, we learn to comfort ourselves and not to expect this from others. They also teach us courage and integrity, or lack thereof; they become our first heroes—if we are lucky.

Sons first hero daughters first love

How many of us have actually had a father, step-father or father figure who understood himself and his own wounds well enough to parent consciously and not repeat the same family patterns that are often being passed down from generation to generation?

In every love relationship, our childhood issues and family patterns are being revived. We watch our parental figures struggle to solve their old issues with each other. In the relationship with us, our parents also mostly respond and act from their conditioning. A father—or a mother for that matter—cannot love much differently from what they themselves have experienced when they were children.

Working with clients, I have over the years heard different family patterns repeat. Sometimes it’s patterns of addiction; other times fears and traumas are resurfacing from generation to generation. In some cases, the patterns don’t affect us negatively, for example a pattern to leave one’s hometown and move abroad, other times they cause a lot of pain. One pattern, I am sharing with the permission of the client, is the loss of a parent at an early age.

This father, let’s call him Dave, left his first wife to remarry when his son was four. Unfortunately, the ex-wife was so bitter that she estranged his son from him. Dave felt helpless and allowed her to continue doing this until he didn’t see his son at all anymore. The little boy essentially lost one parent due to the mother’s manipulation and due to Dave’s inactivity to counteract her words and actions.

Looking back at his own childhood, Dave realized that history had repeated itself. Dave himself lost his mother when his parents divorced when he was four. His father was the one who decided to take him away and remarry a step-mother Dave hated. But that’s not where it started. We can go back another generation to notice how Dave’s father Adam was unconsciously repeating the pattern of his own childhood. At the age of four, Adam’s own mother died and his father William remarried, presenting Adam with a step-mother.

The pattern of losing one parent and having an unwanted step-mother or substitute mother most likely goes back even further. Unfortunately, most of us do not know enough about our family history to notice and break those patterns. So we, for example, end up estranged from one parent.

I wasted many years of my own life grieving for the father I wished I had and believed I didn’t. For several decades, I chose to focus on what he was not, instead of accepting and loving all that he was and is. I used to look at him and see the man who did not stand up for me. I thought he was weak. I believed I didn’t matter enough to him to fight for a relationship with me. I felt I had an emotionally absent father. I listened to my mom’s story born out of her own wounds. Her story was having a husband who disappointed her and never stood up for her. She probably didn’t realize until he lovingly cared for her when she had cancer, that he was always there for her in the way he knew how. For many years, I allowed her to make her story my story as well. It wasn’t that she was doing this on purpose or that she was lying. She shared her perspective and experience unconscious of how that would affect me. This was HER story, it didn’t need to be mine.

Familie Kurth 1943 crop 2

My father grew up during WWII and for many years, my grandfather was not around as a male role model. When my grandfather returned after the war was over, he was emotionally exhausted and quietly took a place in the background of the family, not making much of an effort to connect with his oldest son. My father was only acting in the same way his own father had acted. He was absent. When I recognized the family pattern, I was able to let go of the story and heal the relationship with my dad.

Today, I see clients of all ages and the stories are similar. “My dad left…”, “My father didn’t care…”, “His new wife was more important to him…”, “My father was irresponsible…”, “My father had anger issues…” and it goes on and on. There are of course circumstances like severe addictions or sexual abuse where the only healthy interaction is no interaction. However, in all the other cases, I invite you to re-examine your stories.

Let’s use Byron Katie’s four questions:

  1. Is my story about my father true?
  2. Can I absolutely know my side of the story is the only truth? Or might there be other sides to this?
  3. How do I react or feel when I believe my story?
  4. Who would I be if I let go of the story that my dad does not care about me? What if I let go my expectations of what he should be saying or doing if he truly loved me? What if I worked on healing my old wounds and allowed myself to interact with him in whichever way is possible?

As children, we don’t really have much of a choice what happens to us, the adults in our life make the decisions. However, once we are young adults, we can examine our stories and change them. We can choose to continue with the narratives of hurt, disappointment and resentment or we can get to know the person our father or mother, step-father or step-mother really is. Life is not like baseball, three strikes and you are out. It is possible to extend another chance and to start over.

In order to do that, we have to stop wishing or hoping our parent figure was different from what he or she is. We have to stop waiting for them to change and finally do or say what we always wanted them to. They didn’t get the same “script” to this play called “Life” that we got and they have no idea what we are waiting for.

Script

A Father’s Day just passed and if you did not send a card and did not pick up the phone, you might have missed an opportunity to live a real relationship with your father, beyond all disillusionment.

Relationship Coaching,

Angelika, 905-286-9466,

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

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