Giving Birth to A New Year

I just had a birthday, one of those that are supposed to be a big deal. I had a truly wonderful get-away with family and some of my closest friends, yet this transition into a new decade of my life did not unfold completely smoothly. This had me contemplating the mix of emotions which can come up prior to a birthday.

I have always felt a certain heaviness and sensitivity around the time of my birthday, and this year even more so. And had you asked me why, I would have told you that I wasn’t quite sure, couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Each year, I wondered if it was the fall and the upcoming winter that felt sad, or the hopes and expectations for the day itself which felt heavy. I knew it had nothing to do with getting older per se. I do believe that with each passing year we become wiser and that each new decade of our life brings new adventures and gifts. Yet, the emotions around this time of year always felt a bit like grief.


This year, my wise friend Dhebi DeWitz said something that really resonated with me. She reassured me, that “it is not uncommon with the week or two weeks leading up to a birthday to feel the heaviness of the old birth year ending and the energies die off that go with it. Just ride it through and know that it is a cycle coming to an end. Then things start fresh energetically with the birth of your new year.”

Her words prompted me to start an internet search. I was amazed how many articles I came across on the topic of “birthday blues”, “birthday depression” or “birthday sadness”. I had no idea this was such a wide spread phenomenon. We all know what birthdays are supposed to be like. They are supposed to be joyous occasions, a time of celebration, a time when friends remember friends and families get together. It suddenly dawned on me that just like Christmas, Mother’s Day or other holidays which are overloaded with expectations, birthdays can also be challenging for several different reasons.

  1. As Dhebi pointed out, something old ends and something new begins. We might need to experience some feelings of grief and of letting the old go as we open up to the new year, or even new decade of our life. There is an energetic shift. That energetic shift can be exhilarating, but may also come with apprehension about the unknown. A birthday can be bitter sweet and that is alright.
  2. 2. Unless you are like my uncle—who literally hopes everybody will forget his birthday—we often have a need for this day to be more significant than other days. Some of our essential needs are the need for appreciation, love and celebration. It is natural that we are hoping for the day to be out of the ordinary and to feel significant or special, celebrated and appreciated.

celebration 2

What we have to be aware of, however, is the tendency to measure people’s love for us by how they respond to our birthday. Everybody has a different love language, and while some people are very good at giving gifts or words of affection, others are better at showing their affection through spending quality time with us or by doing something for us (acts of service). It also all depends on how much value others attribute to birthdays in general. It is easy to misinterpret somebody’s action or non-action in regards to our birthday and make it mean something it does not mean at all.

  1. Just like the end of a calendar year and the beginning of a new one, a birthday can also mark a point where we are contemplating our goals and where we are at in life. Suddenly, a certain goal we have not achieved stands out more, or a particular milestone has not been accomplished. When we are struggling with work, relationships or fertility issues, certain birthdays can be a trigger for sadness or depression. We might have hoped to be at a certain point in our career, or to own a house, or to be married / in a long term relationship at a certain age, or we might feel we are running out of time in regards to having children. We are experiencing grief in regards to our dreams, yet, we are expected to be happy on this special day of ours. Whether a birthday is depressing or joyful largely depends on those artificial deadlines we have set for ourselves.


As humans, we are capable of organizing our life into past, present and future. We have a certain life expectancy and particular birthdays can be more emotional because the number represents something to us. At 20 we are not a teen anymore, at 21 we are considered to be even more of an adult, 25 is the completion of a quarter of a century, 30, 40, 50, 60 and so on mark the beginning of a new decade, 50 is half a century, at 65 we are considered senior citizens, perhaps when we turn 76 or 83 or 87, we wonder how much longer we have because one or both of our parents died at that age, and so on.

  1. Another factor that influences how satisfied we are around our birthday is conscious or unconscious childhood memories of happy or unhappy birthdays. Perhaps, we mourn the long-gone magic of a childhood birthday. Or perhaps, we have had disappointing experiences and we have learned limiting beliefs about ourselves, about deserving and about celebrations. That experienced disappointment might literally be stuck in our body and energy field and can easily be triggered again, unless we release the emotion.


  1. We might not be fortunate enough to have someone in our life who organizes a party or other birthday celebration, and there is work and stress involved in planning the event. That stress is magnified when we feel grief about having to plan and prepare ourselves. How much that sadness hits us depends again on our beliefs, our unfulfilled needs and longings and what meaning we attribute to a particular birthday.

If you are experiencing confusing emotions or heaviness around your birthday, know you are not alone and just ride it through, as Dhebi recommended. You are allowed to laugh and cry, to feel happy and sad, to celebrate and mourn, and to embrace the wide range of your emotions fully, no matter what day it is.

I embrace all my emotions

To release stuck emotions, discover more about your needs and how to meet them, or change subconscious beliefs, using PSYCH-K®, Shadow Energetics or L.E.E.P. (Life Enhancing Energy Processes created by Dhebi DeWitz) please contact



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A Shield Around Your Heart

Peter is surrounded by his family, his wife, his three kids—age 8, 12 and 13—and his mom who is visiting. Everybody is laughing, playing games and having a great time, connecting lovingly. Only, Peter feels like he is not part of the group. He feels strangely numb and disconnected, as if he is watching the scene from the outside.

Lise has dreamed all her life of the day that her future husband will propose to her. She has imagined every detail and especially how she would feel this overflowing sense of love in her heart. On Canada Day, her boyfriend of five years proposed. It was surprising and romantic. He rented a boat, there was romantic music and champagne; he went down on one knee just before the fireworks started, declaring his love and commitment to be together for the rest of their lives. It couldn’t have been more perfect, yet, Lise feels disconnected. The overflowing feeling in her heart is absent. Instead, her heart feels tight and constricted.


The electromagnetic field of our heart is 60 times stronger than the electromagnetic field of our brain. The magnetic component of the heart is 5000 times stronger than the brain’s magnetic field. Our heart is the most powerful organ in our body. It was formed first in the womb and it is the core of our being. Our heart is our second brain. It has its own intelligence. It can think, feel and remember.

Being in the heart frequency allows us to bring in more love, greater joy, better health and abundance. This electromagnetic field of our heart allows us to find the same state of resonance as other people, animals and plants around us. When we are in a loving heart space, we send out powerful electromagnetic signals to those around us. Those signals radiating from our heart are measurable in the brain waves of another person.

heart-electromagnetic field.jpg

So what is going on when we feel isolated, disconnected or even numb? Shouldn’t that strong heart field radiate out to others and help connect us with our loved ones?

Trapped emotions in our body create energetic interference patterns. Some of those trapped emotions can sit around our heart and literally create an energetic shield or barrier around it. This shield is created by our subconscious mind to protect us from pain. 85-90% of all people have a heart shield.

You might wonder why you want to release this shield. You might also wonder if it is safe to do so. As much as the heart shield has served the purpose of keeping you safe in the past, it prevents you now in the present from living truly loving relationships. During times of attack and war, we need to hide in an underground bomb shelter. But would you want to live in that dark, bleak shelter for the rest of your life? To our subconscious mind, it might appear as if we are still under attack, even though the time of danger and the need for protection is over and it is time to come out of the bomb shelter.

The price we pay for having this heart barrier is high, in our one-on-one relationships as well as globally. The results of a heart shield are loneliness, disconnect, lack of love and depression in individual relationships. On a larger scale, it leads to misunderstandings, prejudice, selfishness, greed, hatred and wars.

young man ALONE

Releasing someone’s heart shield, on the other hand, is often followed by the experience of connecting deeper with other people. We are meant to live full, vibrant, joyful lives from our heart. When we release the heart shield, we are suddenly able to give and receive more love.

As with all Relationship Energetic Processes, we can muscle test the existence of a heart shield and ask permission to release it. None of this work is ever done without permission from your higher self and deeper wisdom.

If you would like to experience the Heart-Shield Removal Process and learn to facilitate it for others, join

Dhebi DeWitz and Angelika Baum

for the three day Relationship Energetics Training

from Sept. 29 – Oct. 1, 2017

SUPER EARLY BIRD ($150 down by Aug. 4) $575.00

Pay deposit via PayPal now.


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The Four Pillars of Relationships

Healthy, loving and empowered relationships sit on four strong pillars: the relationship we have with ourselves, the relationships with others, the relationship between couples and the relationship with our divinity. They affect each other.

For example, how much I love myself affects my other relationships. In each relationship, we are either projecting “I am lovable” or projecting the basic fear “I am not lovable”. Others reflect to us what we think and fear, and most importantly, how much we love ourselves. If we don’t trust others and ourselves, we are not open to receiving love, we are safeguarding our heart. We need to trust, love and respect ourselves to give these things to someone else. We need to feel accepted and heard to truly listen to another person.

Relationships with others—and with our partner specifically—push our buttons, and trigger old wounds and our disowned energies or shadows. They affect each other and also influence how we feel about ourselves. We need to be conscious of the dynamics in those relationships, have clear priorities and be willing to do the relationship work on all four pillars.

The fourth pillar also shapes all our relationships. The Beloved or Divine resides within our heart. It is experienced when we have brought our inner masculine and feminine energies, our inner god and goddess, into divine balance. We feel whole and complete and are able to embody love.


Do you want to find out more about the four pillars of relationships, universal fears in relationships and three steps to better relationships?

Join Dhebi DeWitz and myself

on Thursday, June 29

at 5:00 p.m. PST / 8:00 p.m. EST


Click here for the link.


Within each of those four areas of relationship, we can find another set of pillars. The relationship of a couple for example rests on different pillars or principles, like building a friendship, managing conflicts and creating shared meaning.

Gottman 7principles

To read more about creating shared meaning in our marriage or primary love relationship click here.

Your Mother’s Story

I was flipping through the birthday calendar which my girls made for me last year for Mother’s day and which is filled with quotes about mothers, when my eye got caught on a particular quote:

Mother's Story - There is a story

“But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.”

Mitch Albom


I have been reading a fascinating book by Bryan Sykes called “The Seven Daughters of Eve”. In his book, Sykes, who is a leading DNA scientist, gives a report of his research into a specific gene, which passes undiluted from generation to generation through the maternal line. After examining thousands of DNA sequences from all over the world, Sykes found that almost everyone of native European descent, wherever they may live throughout the world, can trace their ancestry back to one of seven women, seven “clan mother’s” who he calls the Seven Daughters of Eve.

His book is written almost like a mystery novel, but what really intrigued me was this idea itself: As Caucasians, we can all trace our history back to the woman who was our ancestor and lived 10,000 to 45,000 years ago.

Usually, we barely think back two or three generations. What is your mother’s story? And what is the story of your mother’s mother? Do you know it?

Mother's Story - book

My mother’s story is one of courage and new beginnings. She grew up during World War II, which pretty much robbed her of any care-free childhood. When she was 21, her mother died and soon after, she packed her suitcase to move to Spain. She learned Spanish and made Barcelona her new home. As a woman in the fifties, coming from a working class background, she never had the privilege of a higher education, yet she made her way in life, working in a bank and later on as a secretary. If she wanted something, she set her mind to it and made it happen. When she was in her early thirties, she set out for yet another adventure, accepting a job in Liberia, Africa where she met my father. Getting married and having children was another new start. And ten years later, she moved to Africa again with her husband and her daughters, this time Nigeria.

My mother’s story is also one of a lot of suppressed pain, grief and other painful emotions. She lost her own mother when she was young and never processed that loss. I hardly know anything about my grandmother’s story because my mother couldn’t speak about her without breaking down in tears. So I stopped asking. Due to all the unprocessed experiences, my mom struggled with addictions, with anorexia and alcohol. She had a hard time with getting older and with life slowing down. She didn’t do “calm” very well. Staying still and being present was “torture” for her. It must have scared her a lot to stop. She loved activity, like talking, laughing, dancing, exercising, playing sports and travelling. The ancestral healing process which Dhebi DeWitz describes in her book “The Messenger Within” is one way of bringing healing to previous generations.

Ruth Monrovia

My story begins when my mother was 37 years old. Back in the sixties, that was old to be a first time mother. She stayed active though, and always looked younger than she was. She was at times a bit overprotective, but she was present, taking on the unfamiliar role of the homemaker, and made the best out of what she felt was expected of her. She encouraged education and understood the longing to discover other horizons. When I moved to Malaysia in my late twenties, and to Canada in my early thirties, she was sad, but at the same time, completely supportive. She understood all about new beginnings.

For me, one way to honour my mom’s story is to encourage my own girls to embrace life to the fullest, to travel, to seize opportunities that come along, to be a master of their own destiny. That for me is a huge part of their grandmother’s legacy. I also believe another part of her legacy is for me and them to learn from her errors. My mom never had the opportunity to process her grief or learn how to address her emotions in a healthy way, to heal her pain. She searched for relief in distractions. Her granddaughters, on the other hand, have all the tools to live life more consciously and I am very grateful to say that they do.

Mother's Day card


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Sitting on the Anger Iceberg With You

angry screaming child

Listen to this blog as a podcast here, or read it below!

The door slams shut with a loud BANG. Marcia feels the frustration and anger rising in her. Here we go again! She can hear her 11-year-old daughter slam drawers and scream at her sister to get out of her room. “That is really taking it to too far”, she thinks. “How dare she behave this way? If I had ever acted like this, I would have been grounded for life!”

Marcia has different voices in her. The outraged voice is one of them. Then there is the sad voice that feels frustrated and helpless to guide her daughter through this time in her life. Then there is the voice which says she has failed as a mother; she somewhere must have gone wrong in raising her children.

Marcia has not failed. Most of us have just never been given the tools to cope with anger in a healthy way. We learn it is wrong to be angry and that showing anger or even rage is inappropriate. Yet, this response is literally evolutionarily ingrained into our brains for protection. The sub-cortical areas of our brain are wired for fight or flight. Stan Tatkin calls those more instinctive parts of our brain our “primitives”. When we feel overwhelmed, stressed, threatened or unsafe in some way, anger instinctively kicks in for us to be able to fight and keep ourselves safe.

Gottman Anger Iceberg

In November, The Gottman Institute posted an interesting article about anger by Kyle Benson. He uses the analogy of an iceberg to describe how anger is only the tip of that iceberg. More important than the anger visible above the surface is what is underneath the water. Anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is our protection from more vulnerable feelings, like helplessness, sadness, grief, loneliness and shame, just to name a few.

Anger is our internal GPS and guidance system that we are somehow off track in regards to our needs. When we accept anger as a feedback mechanism rather than a problem, which needs to be fixed or suppressed, we can investigate why it is there. It’s easy to see your partner’s or child’s anger but it can be more difficult to see the underlying feelings the anger is protecting. We need to listen closely to what is going on at a deeper level. Underneath anger there is a longing for something else. Marcia will need to sit on the anger iceberg with her daughter to help her figure out what she is really feeling.

Your partner or child’s anger is not a personal attack. It’s about their underlying primary feelings and unmet needs. Rather than judging her daughter’s outburst as wrong or taking it personally, Marcia needs to become curious as to why she is angry. Is her daughter perceiving something as unfair, is she sad about a recent loss, is she confused, is she experiencing helplessness, is she feeling like a disappointment, is she carrying responsibility too heavy for her age and therefore feeling overwhelmed, are her human needs met, and so on?

Dhebi Essential Human Needs

As Dhebi DeWitz’s chart from her book “The Messenger Within” illustrates, our needs can be grouped into physical nurturance, autonomy, interdependence, celebration/play, integrity and spiritual communication. As a child transitioning from childhood to adolescence, Marcia’s daughter, for example, wants and needs to feel physically safe and taken care of, loved and accepted, able to play and laugh, able to experience a sense of achievement and independence while being reassured she can reach out to others, develop a sense of purpose as well as beliefs of a benevolent universe.

Anger often lives in our shadow. We have learned to disown our own anger as “bad” or “wrong”. The more Marcia has embraced her own anger, the easier it will be not to be triggered by other people’s anger. She can then let her daughter know that it’s okay to feel angry. She can invite her to connect with the more vulnerable emotions and the possibly unfulfilled needs that the anger or rage is protecting. When her daughter feels heard and accepted with all her emotions, pleasant and unpleasant ones, her primary emotions can rise to the surface and steps can be taken to address the underlying needs.

Join Dhebi DeWitz and myself for our next bi-monthly FREE webinar. Our topic on Tuesday, May 7 is “Are Your Essential Needs Being Met?”. How to discover your essential human needs that are not being met in your life and to honour them. Click here to receive the link to join us life from 8:00-9:00 p.m. EST or 5:00-6:00 PST. The webinar will also be posted here for you to access it at any time.

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Angelika, 905-286-9466,

Like a Beaver Dam

Samantha is really frustrated. “I have been doing my healing work for years. I have tried many different techniques and they all helped, some more than others, but why am I still at this point in my life? Why have I not reached all my goals of abundance, health and the perfect relationship, yet? Why do I have to do more work? I want to finally be done.”

Samantha is not the only client sitting in front of me who express frustration with the fact that their inner work is still not complete. Their Inner Critic tells them that they should be clear and enlightened with no issues or struggles whatsoever because, after all, they have already worked on themselves, their fears, their beliefs, their emotions and their relationships.

At that point, I usually share with them my latest piece of personal work. And they typically say something along the lines of, “But you have been in this field for fourteen years! You should be done!” I also tell them that in my experience, the work never ends. Why is that? Doing our personal work is like peeling away the layers of an onion. Each layer allows us to go deeper. Life unfolds and we are nudged to peel away yet another layer.


Sometimes it is like working away on a beaver dam that blocks the flow of the river of our consciousness. This dam represents all our obstructions and blocks due to our limiting beliefs, fears, emotions and shadows. With each piece of debris we pull out, the river can flow better and we become more whole. With each stick, we broaden our conscious awareness of ourselves and the world.

When we do deeper work, it is also quite normal that resistance comes up. Our subconscious has many useful programs in place, in fact programs that help us to function and survive. If it was easy to change all those programs, our survival might be in danger. Changing subconscious programs requires engaging this resistance in just the right way and using techniques to access the subconscious mind. Dhebi DeWitz’s L.E.E.P.s are such Life Enhancing Energy Processes that can assist us with our inner work.

The past week held two bigger pieces of work and learning for myself. What came up for me was a shadow trait I needed to integrate and an emotional interference pattern I needed to release. An individual had been mirroring the shadow of being argumentative and opinionated to me. Being opinionated and in some way closed and inflexible is often a trait which is looked upon as difficult. I am the first to admit that at times I can be opinionated and I am sure others find that difficult or discouraging. Many topics I just let go of, because I frankly don’t care enough about the subject at hand to argue with anyone. Yet, when it comes to work-related topics where I have a certain expertise I can certainly come across as having a strong opinion and expressing it clearly.

I usually minimize time with people who want to argue but this particular person had asked repeatedly to spend an extensive period of time with me and my initial judgmental approach was, “oh, no, I can’t take this arguing”. It was time for me to shift how I feel about being opinionated. In fact, I should have done this personal work much earlier when I first noticed a desire to avoid this energy.


I used a process which I apply with my clients and also teach in my workshops: a Shadow Integration Process. For this method, another person stands in for the shadow part that is the trigger. We take note of what the initial relationship between the person and the part to be integrated is like. Usually, people report dislike, judgment, anger, fear or a feeling of disconnect from this part. We then use a meditative and intuitive process to befriend this shadow and to understand the gifts of this energy. Afterwards, the person gets to meet their now integrated part again and observe completely different feelings towards this energy. Disconnect, anger, or fear have made way for understanding, tolerance, acceptance or even friendship towards this part of us. We are able to love ourselves with this trait and are able to tolerate and accept others with it.

The second piece of work I had to do this week went deeper, as it touched a core wound that required some more healing. All of us have experienced negative or unhealthy emotional extremes at some point. When those emotions feel overwhelming, they can lodge themselves in our body-mind-energy field. They send out a continuous interfering resonance that can cause health issues but also hijack our peace of mind. We perceive our reality through our emotional pain.

Dhebi quote Some of our greatest hinderances

With an open heart, I had made an offer to somebody about a week ago who I don’t know that well but always quite appreciated. This financial discount offer was well-thought through and even muscle tested. I felt good about being giving. I was stunned and shocked when I received a reply in which this individual indicated she felt unfairly treated by me.

When I checked in with myself later that day, I realized that in response to her feeling unfairly treated, I had flipped into the same emotion of being unappreciated and feeling this was unfair towards me. “Our emotionally driven subconscious mind has the uncanny ability of bringing people and situations into our lives that force us to face, and feel, whatever we have previously resisted, denied, or suppressed because that is what it has stored there.” (Dhebi DeWitz, The Messenger Within) My emotional interference pattern from long ago had, despite all good intentions, drawn the same emotional issue into my field.

So whose work was this to do? Mine, of course. This emotion showed up in my reality and it vibrated something much older in me, a core wound, in fact. What needed to be done was not so much to explain and make her understand my position, but to release the emotional interference pattern from within my body and field. The Emotional Release Process, often used with my clients and also taught in the Shadow Energetics Workshop, turned out to be the right tool to resolve the emotional pattern.

When we resolve the interference pattern, the vibration brought to us by the other person does not resonate anymore with our own emotions and we can let the matter go with our heart at peace. Once I had released the emotion, I was also able to see things from the other person’s view. I was able to hear the overwhelm she was experiencing and able to relate to it, free of needing to be defensive. A non-judgmental and loving communication could unfold at that point, which she responded to in kind. After all, we are usually more alike than we can see when we are lost in hurt or emotional pain.

Do you want to embrace a shadow and be less triggered by others, release an emotion you feel stuck in or learn these processes and more in a workshop? You can either contact me for an individual session or join me for this four day workshop:

April 1/2 & 8/9, 2017 from 9:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.

For more information please click here:

Upcoming Workshops

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Angelika, 905-286-9466,



Haunted By the Past

“I don’t need to forgive”, Maria said. “I have moved on and built my own life. My father is the one who left us for this woman. He was always a selfish man. He doesn’t deserve to see me or meet his grandchildren. He will only hurt us again. Also, my mother would be so upset if I forgave him…”

Maria came to me with relationship issues with her husband and children and with depression. As much as Maria claimed that she had let go and moved on, she was still emotionally and energetically hooked into the past. She, understandably, was afraid to get hurt again. She felt the need to continue to punish her father for something that happened 25 years ago. She only had contempt for him and his second wife. She hadn’t ever grieved the loss of her father or forgiven him. She loved her mom and felt that she owed it to her mother to hang on to the hurt and anger.

Maria was looking at forgiveness from the traditional point of view, and was asking, “Why should I be the one to forgive? What he did was disloyal and wrong. My mother and I were the ones who were hurt.” She blamed him for her pain and for what he did to her mother. In her eyes, he abandoned and wronged them. They were the victims.


New Thought Forgiveness looks at forgiveness quite differently. When we forgive, we are not excusing what the other person did. However, when we know that we are always co-creators of our reality, we need to question the idea of perpetrator and victim. This view of forgiveness acknowledges that anger, hurt and shame of past events affect us emotionally, mentally and physically in the present, often on a daily basis. We can choose at any time to move from being a lifelong victim into freedom. In order to achieve that freedom, we need to drop into our hearts and ask our heart’s intuitive wisdom and guidance, “What is there for me to learn or overcome and what gift does this situation have for me? How can I take responsibility for my own feelings and beliefs?” And most importantly, “what do I need to do to be free and joyful again?”


When we forgive others, we free ourselves from allowing the experience to adversely affect our life in the present. When we truly forgive, we reclaim our power, the power to decide if and how that past event will affect each moment now. Forgiveness and letting go allows us to get on with living a joyful life, the life we were meant to live. “Until you forgive, you still have an energetic connection to the past person or event.” (Dhebi DeWitz)

Gregg Braden explains how forgiveness allows us to clear out our anger, judgments, and pain regarding specific events in our lives. And Dhebi DeWitz summarizes in “The Messenger Within”: “It does so without condoning the action, pardoning the behaviour, or absolving what has happened. It simply acknowledges that the event occurred. Forgiving does not mean the other person is no longer held accountable for his or her actions because those do have consequences. Nor does it relinquish responsibility.

It simply means that when we bless and forgive the people, circumstances, and events that hurt us in life, we are acknowledging their existence, and by doing so, it allows the hurt to move out of our being.”


Energetically, we have kept the people we have not forgiven imprisoned within us. As their prison guard, we have bound ourselves together with them, instead of letting them and the incident go. The others are unaware we have put them into this jail inside ourselves. The only ones who suffer are us by putting ourselves into that prison with them. No matter what they have done or didn’t do, people will always experience energetic consequences. The law of cause and effect always works.


Maria had to admit that a lot of her energy and her thoughts directly or indirectly revolved around what her father had done. Each time she visited her mother or spoke to her on the phone, Maria silently blamed her father for her mother’s depression. Whenever she had a fight with her own husband, Maria found herself calling him selfish and thinking “Typical men! They are all the same!” All this was pain she was giving herself based on the experiences she had and the beliefs she had learned growing up.

Forgiveness is a choice to release, to let go, freeing up the energy that binds us into the past and blinds us to any other perspective. We can choose to let go of the old emotions stored in our body and establish new, more supportive beliefs. Forgiveness is for our own healing. It releases us from energy patterns that contribute to emotional and physical pain, to illness or to energy drain. Hate, anger, hurt, sadness, shame and other suppressed emotions affect our overall health.


The reason why it is usually not enough to simply decide to forgive is that forgiveness is not an intellectual process. The conscious decision to forgive is only the first step. Forgiveness happens at the level of the heart and includes our subconscious mind.

One such process of letting go is the “Blessing of Forgiveness Process”, developed by Dhebi DeWitz from The Heart And Soul Academy, which includes three parties:

One such process of letting go is the “Blessing of Forgiveness Process”, developed by Dhebi DeWitz, which includes three parties:

  1. Those who inflicted the suffering
  2. Those who suffer
  3. Those who witnessed the suffering


  1. Forgiveness of Others:

Forgiveness is not for the other person. The real reason we forgive is because we don’t want to suffer and feel hurt every time we remember what they said, did or didn’t do. Have you ever considered that nothing anyone ever does is because of you (Don Miguel Ruiz)? What somebody did to you has absolutely nothing to do with you, but only with them.

Maria’s father did not leave her because she was “not enough,” but because he was longing for love and his own happiness. The actions of the offending person are a result of the beliefs and learned behaviours of that person at that time. People are dealing with their own inner anguish and turmoil. Maria’s father did not know how to improve the relationship with her mother and did what many people do: he moved on to the next relationship. The actions that hurt Maria were a reaction to the suffering that played out in her father’s own mind, and that he acted upon while involving Maria and her mother. He simply acted based on his perceptions that his marriage was over, on the pain that he carried within him from his own childhood and on his longing for love and happiness.

Once we have this awareness, it helps us to not take what the other person did personally, and then—with the understanding that we are all human, and with compassion for the other person’s perception—it will lead us to true forgiveness. By forgiving others, we are still acknowledging the existence of their hurtful actions, but by doing so with heart-consciousness rather than the mind alone, we allow the hurt we have taken in so deeply to be released from our body. We can rationalize all we want, but until we forgive in our heart, the person, event, or circumstance has the power to haunt us. On the other hand, when we truly forgive, it frees us from the limitations we have placed upon ourselves, and allows us to live in greater joy and happiness.

  1. Forgiveness of Yourself:

Often, we forget that the people we most need to forgive are ourselves. We might have directly or indirectly contributed to the painful event, but even if we didn’t, we have to forgive ourselves for taking whatever happened to us in too deeply – so deep that it shut us down, kept us helpless and small, and paralyzed us from living fully in this present moment. (Debbie Ford). We also might need to forgive ourselves for judging ourselves. In which ways have you been unkind to yourself? What have you blamed yourself or judged yourself for?

Maria realized she never felt good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, loveable enough. She was usually critical with herself, beating herself up for not being a good daughter, a good wife or a good mother. She also had to forgive herself for taking in too deeply that her father left her mother, so deeply that she never wanted to see him again and that it made her afraid to trust men, including her own husband.

  1. Blessing of the Witnesses:

Her father left his first family when Maria was ten. Her mother refused to let her have contact with her paternal grandparents. Her grandparents were helpless witnesses to the suffering, feeling unable to do anything. Maria blamed them for not taking clear sides for her and her mother. Maria had learned from her mother that there were sides to take. Revisiting the situation as an adult and putting herself in her grandparents’ shoes, she realized their confusion and helplessness.

The people who were bystanders of the painful event, like Maria’s grandparents, carry a part of the energetic imprint of the event within them. They might have felt powerless or helpless to prevent the pain and suffering in the past and they might still suffer from their inability to comfort or help in the present. “When we bless those who have witnessed the suffering, it releases their energetic cords or connection to the situation.” (Dhebi DeWitz)


Forgiveness in all three cases means letting go of the past and cutting energetic chords which drain us. Not to forgive is a choice to remain in what is familiar, the emotional pain. “If we say, ‘I just can’t forgive’, then what we are really saying is, ‘I prefer to live with my emotional poison, with my pride and my anger. I prefer not to move from this place of suffering.’” (Dhebi DeWitz)

We might not always be able to forgive everything in one go and we might have to do a heart-centred forgiveness process or ritual several times, but the choice not to forgive at all is the choice to continue being a victim and to remain in anger and pain.


Are you interested to experience and learn Dhebi DeWitz’ Blessing of Forgiveness Process and other ways of forgiving from your heart?

Join me for this workshop:

Sunday, March 19 from 10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.

Topic: Forgiveness

LOCATION: Mississauga

Fee: EARLY BIRD $67 (by Feb. 14), $80 thereafter



The Blessing of Forgiveness Process is also available in Dhebi DeWitz book “The Messenger Within”.

If you are enjoying my articles, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

Angelika, 905-286-9466,




How About Love?

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure – measure a year?

In daylights – in sunsets

In midnights – in cups of coffee

In inches – in miles

In laughter – in strife

In – five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure

A year in the life

How about love?

(“Seasons Of Love” song from the musical “Rent”)

Love is a topic which occupies all of us. As a society, we are obsessed by it: books, movies, TV series, musicals, Valentine’s Day, talking with your girlfriend, seeing your therapist. Everything revolves around relationships and love. We long for it and we wonder how to “get love”. At the same time, there is hardly any other topic we have learned more myths about.

Science has revealed that love is vital to our existence. Love is a basic survival code for us as humans. Our brain is wired to read and respond to others. Feeling safe and loved by others makes us stronger. We all need the emotional and spiritual nourishment of human relationships. Human comfort is our natural remedy for fear, stress, and doubt. Rejection, abandonment and disconnection are cues for danger that plunge us into anxiety and cause us not just emotional but also physical pain.

“When your mind perceives the experience of love, it causes the brain to secrete neurochemicals, such as dopamine, oxytocin and growth hormone into the blood (…) you are generally healthier and more alive when you are in love (…) fear provokes the release of stress hormones and inflammatory agents such as cytokines into the blood (…)” (Bruce Lipton, The Honeymoon Effect)

Love is not something we “get” or “fall into” when we are lucky or happen to just be cute and lovable. Love is an energy to embrace; it is a consciousness. It doesn’t just happen to us. We are co-creating it based on our core beliefs about ourselves and the world. If we have learned that we are lovable and worthy of experiencing love and joy, it is easier to vibrate at the level of love. Love is an experience but it is an action first and foremost.


Dhebi DeWitz


Dhebi DeWitz

If you are going through life, waiting to feel love when you meet others, you have misunderstood the true essence of love. Love is a discipline; it requires us to personify love and to practice being loving with yourself and others.

In fact, an essential aspect is learning to unconditionally love ourselves. Many of us have been taught to give to others, to love others and to under no circumstances be so vain as to love ourselves. In Bruce Lipton’s workshops, 90% of people fail the muscle test “I love myself”. I can certainly confirm that from my own sessions. “I love and accept myself the way I am” is a belief most of us do not hold in our subconscious mind.

Instead, we hold back on truly loving ourselves until a certain condition is met. “I’ll love myself and my body when I have lost weight”, “I’ll love myself when I have reached my goals”, “I’ll love myself when somebody else truly loves me”. That conditioning completely misunderstands the true nature of love.

We exist as love. Children come into this world open, loving and unguarded, until they learn to protect themselves and guard their heart. Reconnecting with our true essence simply means reopening our heart to love. It means the end of loneliness and separation. Instead it fosters unity with others, with other people, with nature, with the source of life with all there is.


Dhebi De Witz


Dhebi De Witz

Self-Love is as misunderstood a term as love. Self-love isn’t just a verb. Self-Love is beyond taking care of yourself and doing things for yourself. Self-Love is knowing who you are and knowing you are made of love. Love is your original energy, your true essence.

How do you open your heart, you might wonder? How do you start loving yourself and others more? You create love by creating an atmosphere of love in your life. Seeing the beauty in yourself is as necessary as seeing the beauty in others. Your thoughts determine who and what you attract into your world. Allow yourself to see more of the joy and beauty of life that is surrounding you daily. Allow yourself to be at peace with what is, instead of criticizing and focusing on the lack in yourself and others.

You create this love by speaking kindly to the people you meet. You consciously look for the good and the positive in everyone. You tell people why you appreciate them. You listen from your heart to the words that others speak. You give yourself permission to be truly present with them. You build bridges to connect with others. By being loving—by being considerate in your thoughts, your words, and your actions—you are attracting more love into your life.

We are conditioned to believe that happiness and love comes only after we have found our ideal lover. This attitude limits our personal growth. Instead, decide to be truly happy right now, today. And because your sincere joy makes you more attractive, others find you lovable and want to be around you. Soon you begin to feel the joy, the lightness, and the laughter, that comes with love. You realize that love is more than a lover adoring us. Love is an open heart for everybody, including yourself. That kind of love is healing.

There are two basic human emotions. One is fear, the other is love. One cancels out the other. Fear impacts our ability to love. Love, on the other hand, heals all fear and chaos. Love is the solution to disease and pain, whether physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. Love is not just inside all of us. Love is the actual essence we fundamentally are. Therefore we are our own and other people’s healers. “Love is a healer because it undoes the basic problem of separation and also the basic fear of not being loveable. It restores our awareness of our Unconditional Self and our true nature. Love is, I believe, the solution to every problem.” (Robert Holden, Loveability)

Join Dhebi DeWitz and myself for another

FREE webinar on

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

at 5:00 p.m. PST or 8:00 p.m. EST.

TOPIC “Love”

E-mail either one of us to receive the link to join us live. You can also send us questions on the topic “Love” prior to Feb. 8.


Watch Dhebi DeWitz beautiful video Love is your true nature

If you are enjoying my articles, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

What is Holding You Back from Making “The Secret” Work for Yourself?


Dhebi De Witz - quote


In her book “The Messenger Within,” Dhebi DeWitz names 7 areas of influence which are holding us back from manifesting and creating the happy and healthy life we are able to have:

  1. Our Beliefs
  2. Our Emotions
  3. Our Essential Human Needs
  4. Our Distant Past
  5. Our Shadows
  6. Our Lifestyle
  7. Additional Energy


In “Living the Science of Mind”, Ernest Holmes compares the flow of the Universal Goodness to a huge body of water up in the mountains. The water is brought down by a system of pipes to irrigate the valley. The flow is endless and has a natural pressure within itself. It is only limited by the size of the pipe through which it flows. When no water flows or it only trickles, the reason is not that the water has stopped flowing, but that the pipe is blocked.

The debris blocking the flow of Source Energy or Goodness into our life is made up of our subconscious beliefs, the emotions we are stuck in, our needs which aren’t met, influences from the past (past lives, ancestral lineage), our shadows which we have disowned, lifestyle influences and energy blockages. The reasonable thing is to follow the pipe back and clean out the debris that blocks it.

Waterfall - small

Only approximately 5% of our words and actions originate from the conscious mind. 95% of the time, we are habitually operating from our subconscious beliefs. Those belief programs influence how we think, how we speak, how we act and ultimately, what destiny we are able to manifest for ourselves. The good news is that those subconscious programs can be changed from limiting beliefs to supportive ones.

Just like our limiting beliefs, our emotions also create our experience of reality below our level of conscious awareness. Our emotions affect our health greatly; 90% of physical issues have an emotional root. All of us experience emotional extremes at times. Emotions are normal, in fact, all feelings and emotions are good; they provide us with feedback that we need to address something. However, some emotions do not resolve themselves completely; they can cause an obstruction in the physical body, sending out a continuous interference resonance. This situation is similar to a steam kettle under pressure. As a result, we continue to operate from a reality we perceive from our emotional pain. These blocked emotions can be released from the physical body.

Our essential human needs have a life force of their own. No matter how old we are, as human beings, we all have needs and desires. Unfulfilled needs cause emotions such as frustration, disappointment or resentment. When we learn how to successfully communicate our own needs, we then in turn can also help others to acknowledge, express and fulfill their needs. The Goodness Ernest Holmes speaks about can flow into our life and into our relationships.

There are times when past-life experiences or ancestral lineage influences affect your current life. This is the case when there is a carry-over interference pattern from the past that needs to be resolved in the present. Past life memories are stored in our subconscious mind; ancestral influences are stored in our cells. The latter are passed on through our DNA to the next generation. We have the choice to heal our past lives and ancestral wounds.

Everything that is in the world is also inside of us. We are born like a castle with a thousand rooms. As a child, we explore all rooms in this magnificent castle without malice. We try out all energy or in other words all “possibilities of being” – until other people tell us something is “bad” or “wrong”. You shouldn’t be loud and enjoy attention, you shouldn’t be selfish or greedy, you shouldn’t be lazy, you shouldn’t be angry, you shouldn’t be… and the list goes on. Because we all want and need to be accepted and loved, we disown those personality traits which we learn are “bad”. They become our shadows. Because we have pushed them away, we can only perceive them in projection in others.  They become our triggers; we judge them in others. These shadows become part of the debris which blocks the life force energy. They keep us from being whole, from unconditionally loving ourselves and others. By embracing all our disowned personality parts, we become whole again.

Deepak Chopra emphasizes that we all have a blueprint for health, no blueprint for disease. However, certain lifestyle choices we make create interference patterns which disrupt the healthy blueprint within us. Those choices include—among others—unhealthy food choices, toxins, stress, lack or rest, relaxation and meditation, lack of exercise, lack of joy and play, lack of fresh air and sunshine, and even a lack of bodywork, for example massages or energy work. When we change our eating habits, rest more, and make time for healthy movement, we clear out the debris which is the result of unhealthy lifestyle choices.

Last but not least, the flow is blocked when there is low vibrational or heavy energy affecting us. The more we are aware of the energy flow in our bodies and in our surroundings, the easier we can shift and uplift the energy through a clearing ritual or prayer.

These seven areas constitute the secret behind “The Secret” of manifesting our dreams, goals and desires using the Law of Attraction.

In the Shadow Energetics Workshop, we touch on all seven areas and devolve deeper into the first five.

  1. You learn how to communicate with your subconscious mind and your higher self through energy testing (muscle testing). You are taught a belief change process to replace limiting subconscious beliefs with more supportive ones.
  2. You learn an Emotional Release Process, an efficient and effective tool to release an emotional charge.
  3. We connect with our Inner Child and our Essential Human Needs. You will be introduced to Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication model of successfully expressing your feelings and needs.
  4. When tapping into your Higher Self through muscle testing past issues, including past/parallel lives or our ancestral lineage might come up.
  5. The core piece of the Shadow Energetics workshop are our dark and light shadows which show up in our relationships with others. Our dark shadows are parts of ourselves which we have learned to disown as “bad” or “wrong” and therefore judge in others. Our light shadows are what we admire in others and again think we are not.

For a 20 minute video interview on Shadow Energetics please click here.

The Early Bird Special for the Fall Shadow Energetic Training ends on September 2. For more info go to upcoming workshops or contact Angelika, 905-286-9466,

Starting in October 2016, Dhebi DeWitz and I will offer Shadow Energetics webinars 4-6 times a year. These one hour webinars will be open to former students of Shadow Energetics, as well as Dhebi’s students, and also new people who are interested in finding out more about the work we do and the book Dhebi wrote. If you are interested to join us please contact either one of us.

Angelika Baum, 905-286-9466,
Dhebi De Witz
Dhebi DeWitz, 425-890-4972,

Influences of a Distant Past

In 2004, I was walking down the stairs in our house with my youngest daughter Tia who was just three years old at the time. All our family photos were hung up chronologically on the wall by the stairs. Suddenly, the little one stopped with a faraway look on her face. Absentmindedly but very seriously, she said to me, “I had to come to this family, you know.”

Intrigued, I softly asked, “Why?” After a short pause, she replied, “Because I had to be with Cara again.” My curiosity was piqued. Excitedly, I prompted her to tell me more, but just as this strange altered state had come over her, it disappeared instantly. The next moment, she was a regular little three-year-old once again, happily bouncing down the stairs.

Cara & Tia montage

Cara is Tia’s 5½ year older sister. The two girls have the closest and most loving and supportive relationship I have ever seen in siblings. They are opposites in many ways, yet best friends who always have each others back. They would make an adorable couple, but in this life, they have chosen to be siblings.

Around that time that my youngest told me so matter of factly that she had to come to this family, I was just about to start my hypnosis training. One of the ways to access past life memories in your subconscious mind is through hypnosis. The past life regression is a two hour session in which the client is guided back to two childhood memories from this life and—if everything goes by the book—to two previous lives. This somewhat time intensive method is best for clients who are very visual. Seeing and feeling firsthand what occurred in the past is step one of understanding and healing.

After many years of offering these past life regressions in hypnosis, I feel that muscle testing is a faster way of accessing the information about what interference patterns have been carried over from a past life. Even though our physical body dies with each incarnation, consciousness itself is continuous and the energy of unprocessed traumatic experiences remains in our energy field. Instead of spending a two hour session on entering into a hypnotic state and accessing the memories mostly in a visual way, we can, within a very short time, muscle test the information necessary.

muscle testing 3

We can muscle test the time period, gender, age, social and financial status and whether the interference pattern was created on your own or in relationship to others. We can figure out what chakra was affected and what the cause of the conflict was. When we have a basic understanding of what happened, we can focus on healing the interference pattern. I find that often forgiveness work will help to bring closure to the past life and clear out the hold that the distant past still has over the person. Other times, an emotion needs to be released or beliefs learned in that life need to be changed.

Interference patterns from past lives are not the only way we are affected by experiences prior to our birth. Epigenetics has shown how the cellular memory or DNA affects the next generations to come. Energy is never lost and is still contained within the consciousness of one family.

Dhebi DeWitz explains: “Our ancestor’s experiences, beliefs, and emotions leave an impression, a molecular scar or adhesion, on our DNA and in our lives. Those adhesions that permanently attach to the DNA can be replicated right along with it through the next generations. If someone in your ancestral lineage experienced hardships, tremendous trauma, world disaster, Holocaust, famine, injustice, a scalping, or suffering of some kind, the chemistry from that stressful experience, to some degree, becomes imprinted on your DNA.” (DeWitz, “The Messenger Within”)

These DNA imprints can affect our perceptions, behaviours and life experiences and with it our relationships, our prosperity, our health, and our overall level of fear versus trust.

Influences of a distant past - familytree1

One of my clients had an ancestral line in which all the women on her mother’s side, right back to her great-grandmother or even further, endured great hardships, experiencing wars, deaths, raising their children on their own and having to be really strong and self-sufficient. She herself had grown up hearing that she also was a strong woman. With that ancestral lineage, it can be challenging to embrace our softer side. My client was also concerned about continuing this family pattern. Rather than being a strong woman coping alone, she would like to manifest an equal partnership of mutually supporting each other.

When I guided her through the ancestral healing process, she had the vision of the men in her family coming together to join the women. They had been there all along. She had the insight that the women were strong yet supported by the men in the background. For herself and her female ancestors, the healing opens up a future of not having to continue the pattern of struggling alone.

Dhebi describes a case in her book of a female client in her mid-50s who had been struggling in her business. During the process, the client noticed a cloud of dark, heavy energy along her father’s side of her linage. Her grandfather had lost a fortune during the Great Depression. After clearing out this pattern, the client reported back that her business was flowing without difficulty now, everything lining up and falling into place.

When we make the choice to heal our ancestral lineage on both our father’s and on our mother’s side, we bring a higher level of consciousness into our lineage line which affects us as well as our children and grandchildren positively.

To do some past life or ancestral healing work contact

Angelika, 905-286-9466

To facilitate your own healing work I highly recommend “The Messenger Within” by Dhebi DeWitz. One of the downloadable resources is a guided shamanic process to energetically clear both lines of generational imprints. The guided process will also be available on the Heart and Soul Academy website as an audio version.

If you enjoyed my post, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen. A related blog you might be interested in is Children Remembering Past Life Memories