A Shield Around Your Heart

Peter is surrounded by his family, his wife, his three kids—age 8, 12 and 13—and his mom who is visiting. Everybody is laughing, playing games and having a great time, connecting lovingly. Only, Peter feels like he is not part of the group. He feels strangely numb and disconnected, as if he is watching the scene from the outside.

Lise has dreamed all her life of the day that her future husband will propose to her. She has imagined every detail and especially how she would feel this overflowing sense of love in her heart. On Canada Day, her boyfriend of five years proposed. It was surprising and romantic. He rented a boat, there was romantic music and champagne; he went down on one knee just before the fireworks started, declaring his love and commitment to be together for the rest of their lives. It couldn’t have been more perfect, yet, Lise feels disconnected. The overflowing feeling in her heart is absent. Instead, her heart feels tight and constricted.

proposal-couple-boat

The electromagnetic field of our heart is 60 times stronger than the electromagnetic field of our brain. The magnetic component of the heart is 5000 times stronger than the brain’s magnetic field. Our heart is the most powerful organ in our body. It was formed first in the womb and it is the core of our being. Our heart is our second brain. It has its own intelligence. It can think, feel and remember.

Being in the heart frequency allows us to bring in more love, greater joy, better health and abundance. This electromagnetic field of our heart allows us to find the same state of resonance as other people, animals and plants around us. When we are in a loving heart space, we send out powerful electromagnetic signals to those around us. Those signals radiating from our heart are measurable in the brain waves of another person.

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So what is going on when we feel isolated, disconnected or even numb? Shouldn’t that strong heart field radiate out to others and help connect us with our loved ones?

Trapped emotions in our body create energetic interference patterns. Some of those trapped emotions can sit around our heart and literally create an energetic shield or barrier around it. This shield is created by our subconscious mind to protect us from pain. 85-90% of all people have a heart shield.

You might wonder why you want to release this shield. You might also wonder if it is safe to do so. As much as the heart shield has served the purpose of keeping you safe in the past, it prevents you now in the present from living truly loving relationships. During times of attack and war, we need to hide in an underground bomb shelter. But would you want to live in that dark, bleak shelter for the rest of your life? To our subconscious mind, it might appear as if we are still under attack, even though the time of danger and the need for protection is over and it is time to come out of the bomb shelter.

The price we pay for having this heart barrier is high, in our one-on-one relationships as well as globally. The results of a heart shield are loneliness, disconnect, lack of love and depression in individual relationships. On a larger scale, it leads to misunderstandings, prejudice, selfishness, greed, hatred and wars.

young man ALONE

Releasing someone’s heart shield, on the other hand, is often followed by the experience of connecting deeper with other people. We are meant to live full, vibrant, joyful lives from our heart. When we release the heart shield, we are suddenly able to give and receive more love.

As with all Relationship Energetic Processes, we can muscle test the existence of a heart shield and ask permission to release it. None of this work is ever done without permission from your higher self and deeper wisdom.

If you would like to experience the Heart-Shield Removal Process and learn to facilitate it for others, join

Dhebi DeWitz and Angelika Baum

for the three day Relationship Energetics Training

from Sept. 29 – Oct. 1, 2017

SUPER EARLY BIRD ($150 down by Aug. 4) $575.00

Pay deposit via PayPal now.

 

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Self-Compassion – Luxury or Necessity?

Sarah comes in through the door, I pour her a water and I ask, “How are you?” She replies, “Aww, not that great. I have been feeling really down for the last two weeks. So much has been going on with my family, and at work, too. It all feels futile. I have failed in so many ways. I just can’t handle all these conflicts and problems anymore.”

I don’t usually see clients when they feel good or are at the top of the world. Instead, they normally come back when something has happened and they need to work through a conflict, often both an outer one as well as an inner conflict.

Life throws us these curve balls and the Inner Critic voice we all have loves nothing more than to beat us up in the face of adversity. It pipes up especially loudly when we feel we have made a “mistake” or “failed” in some way. We didn’t get the grade we were aiming for, we are being laid off from a job or are not being hired for a position we have applied to, the person we would like to date rejects us or our marriage is struggling, we are experiencing fertility issues or our teenager is acting out, we have received worrisome health news or are trying to lose weight with little success, and the list goes on and on.

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The “I’m not good enough in some way” story is almost universal. We all struggle with it at some point in some way. How much we struggle is largely based on the experience we had with our caregivers during childhood. Were they compassionate, empathetic and able to love us unconditionally? Or did we have the experience that we were loved when we were “performing according to certain standards and ideals, and that love was withdrawn or guilt was applied” (Dr. Kelly McGonigal), if we didn’t meet the expectations.

The sad news is that most parents did not know how to raise their children with unconditional love. And we cannot even blame them because what we have not experienced ourselves is hard to pass on to the next generation. Sarah, for example, had an emotionally absent father and a harsh mother, who preferred her younger children and had unrealistic expectations of Sarah as the oldest. No matter how hard Sarah tried to please, she could never win her parent’s attention and full love. When she was 18, she married to get out of this cold home. Unfortunately, that marriage didn’t last, as Sarah naturally brought her childhood issues around love with her into that relationship. She tried to be perfect and to please, but never felt that she was good enough. The failure of the marriage, however, added to her list of regrets and mistakes, which all seemed to prove her unworthiness.

Receiving conditional love as a child is the breeding ground for pathological perfectionism and the feeling that we are never quite enough. The good news is that we can still heal those wounds with self-compassion and the compassion of others.

self-compassion 2

Our feeling of lacking in some way is very old. When we go back and remember moments of self-esteem deflation, we realize how early this started. The qualities and criteria, however, which allow the Inner Critic to collapse our self-esteem, have changed through the different developmental stages and can be quite arbitrary. The Inner Critic will always find something to criticize. Ultimately, that critical voice is the internalized parental or societal voice. It has the power to completely deflate us and affect our mental, emotional and physical state.

Smaller or bigger Inner Critic attacks are not only very common but brain research has shown that self-criticism and self-judgment are the default setting of our brain. When we are not focused on doing something specific, the Inner Critic is running its programs of comparison and categorizing into good and bad. Sadly, most of the time that voice is not all too friendly with us, which has direct effects on our health. “We know that people who are highly self-critical, who are never good enough, are obviously at increased risk for depression. And depression reinforces those feelings.” (Dr. Kelly McGonigal)

Nicola Hermanto, a PhD candidate in Clinical Psychology at McGill University, published a study in 2016 that looked at adults in Canada, England and Portugal and the relationship between self-criticism—so in other words a lack of self-compassion—and depression. This study did not just find a high correlation between those two factors, but they also found that the fear and inability to receive compassion from others contributes to depression. Feeling unworthy of receiving compassion, or being suspicious of other people being kind and caring, increases the link between self-criticism and depression.

Dala Lama

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them humanity cannot survive.
– Dalai Lama

If we all have a default tendency to be self-critical, the one thing that becomes a necessity to counteract that Inner Critic voice is a loving, compassionate Inner Parental voice. Part of that process is the ability and willingness to receive kindness, empathy and loving support from others.

Subconscious belief changes therefore need to address the issue of deserving and receiving, as well as beliefs around making mistakes and embracing failures as part of life, instead of a sign that there is something deeply unworthy and shameful about us.

Once we have changed some subconscious beliefs about our own worthiness, it becomes easier to practice self-compassion or inner compassion. True self-compassion means feeling a “sense of love or self-acceptance or inner acceptance even in the moment of self-esteem collapse” (Dr. Ron Siegel). When we have this sense of okay-ness, or sense of value and worth in the world, we can lovingly re-parent ourselves. With love for ourselves in moments of crisis, we can ask, “What’s good for me in this situation? What is the self-loving thing to do or think right now?”

self-compassion 4a)

Another very powerful piece of work in practicing kindness and gentleness towards ourselves is self-forgiveness. Often the most important work is to forgive ourselves for our past choices and decisions. We don’t need the forgiveness of others nearly as much as we need our own. We can alter our relationship with ourselves by releasing those harsh judgments and self-critical thoughts that keep us imprisoned within that sense of not being valuable, not being good enough. Moment by moment of inner compassion, we are healing our sorrows and wounds and ultimately changing our entire life.

self-compassion 5

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Angelika
Life Coaching, Belief Changes & Forgiveness Work
905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Recovering From Our Losses

Meet Tracy. She is an attractive woman with a warm smile. Her life is busy; she works; she has two children and an elderly father. She has learned to be strong for others, to keep busy and that time will heal all wounds. At night when the kids are in bed, she has a glass of wine or two and a bag of chips while watching Netflix. The alcohol, food and TV help her to relax and to not have to feel. Lately, she finds it harder and harder to get up in the morning and to keep going. Whenever she is not busy, a deep sadness is taking hold of her. This sadness is quite familiar.

She doesn’t know when she first started to have the lack of energy and these depressive thoughts and feelings. Perhaps, it was fourteen months ago, when her mother passed after a long fight with cancer. Or perhaps when she had two miscarriages and life just went on as if nothing happened. Or perhaps it was when her first marriage ended due to her husband’s infidelity. Or perhaps it was when her own parents divorced when she was fifteen. Or perhaps it all began when her beloved dog died when she was eight. Or perhaps this grief is as old as when she moved to Canada at the age of five not speaking a word of English, and having to leave her grandparents behind.

Grief is accumulative and it is accumulative negative. Our bodies become the storage tanks for all our losses and painful emotions because we were never given the tools to appropriately process our loss experiences. Our body speaks our mind through pains or other physical issues to let us know that the storage tank is over-flowing.

what-emotions-is-your-body-storing-1

Instead of listening to those physical symptoms, we have all learned to use some Short-Term Energy Relieving Behaviours (STERBS) like drinking alcohol, smoking, eating, watching TV, playing computer games, sleeping, taking meds, shopping, cleaning, exercising, working and so on to distract ourselves from the painful feelings associated with our losses. It is time to become aware of our STERBS and to address our buried emotions to gain greater happiness and health.

The grief recovery work is for losses we have experienced through death, divorce and 40+ other life changing events. Some examples are the loss of a love relationship or friendship, infidelity and the loss of trust, the death of a pet, a job loss, a move, an accident or illness, resulting perhaps in the loss of health or mobility, a miscarriage, stillbirth or abortion, physical, emotional or sexual abuse, and other life altering occurrences. Even positive life changes like graduation, marriage, or the birth of a child can be an experience of loss.

We are all faced with incomplete relationships and situations. We are all grievers in some form or other at different points in our life. In fact, grief spares nobody. The training to become a grief specialist involved deep personal healing work. After all, we can only take our clients to where we ourselves have been willing to go. As my workshop partner and I were sharing our loss history graphs, we were amazed how many similar patterns we found, despite the fact that he was 12 years younger, at a different stage in his life, of a somewhat different cultural background and of a different gender. The conclusion can only be that as humans, we all experience the same patterns of grief due to death, divorce and other losses.

grief-is-normal-natural

Grief is our normal and natural reaction to such a life changing event or loss. Grief occurs due to the conflicting feelings caused by the end or change of something familiar. It can masquerade as a powerful emotional state like deep sadness, depression or anger. Unresolved grief is almost always about us wishing things had been different, better, or more. We might have undelivered emotional communications with others. We also carry unrealized hopes, dreams or expectations. In case of the end of a good relationship, we might have had plans that never happened. In negative relationships, the end of the relationship robs us of the possibility to repair and make amends.

forgiveness-means-to

The grief recovery work helps to complete our relationship to the pain caused by a significant emotional loss. It helps us to take responsibility for our actions, forgive others for theirs, and to deliver significant emotional statements. It is the opportunity to say goodbye to any pain or unmet hopes and dreams. We can then feel complete, live fully in the present and focus on any existing fond memories. The grief recovery work gives us freedom and newfound joy. It opens the door to health and happiness.

Angelika

Certified Grief Specialist, Belief Change Coach and Workshop Facilitator

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

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Empty Nest?

Have you ever tried to push an emotion away instead of dealing with it? Doesn’t work so well, does it? It’s a bit like trying to push a beach ball under water. It is bound to pop up again sooner or later.

I had my own week of pushing down a beach ball. Ten days ago, my oldest moved out. She and I have always had a very strong bond. A friend of mine, who has a son a few years older, has been making foreboding remarks about the challenges of adjusting to children moving out for the last few months. Resolutely, I had refused to listen and “have her put suggestions into my head”. After all, her son had no siblings and the term “empty nest” did not apply to me at all.

When you google “empty nest syndrome” definitions like this one come up: “Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time. This can result in depression and a loss of purpose for parents, since the departure of their children from “the nest” leads to adjustments in parents’ lives. Empty nest syndrome is especially common in full-time mothers.”

Nest 2

I just couldn’t see how that could possibly apply to me. I have my work which I love, a close loving partnership, another daughter and a stepdaughter. Does that sound like an empty nest? I was worried about how my younger daughter would deal with her sister being away from home. I feared she would miss her best friend and mentor. Her older sister is the one she is closely bonded into. However, I was not expecting to feel grief myself.

My daughter moved out on Friday. On Sunday, my stepdaughter, who is an intuitive little one, asked me twice out of the blue “Are you okay?” I replied to her I was feeling tired but secretly started wondering what she was picking up on. By Monday, I was starting to realize that I was suppressing something. The bond with my oldest is strong and I trust it will change and become in some ways even deeper than it is. So that was not it. Yet, I felt moody, restless and just not myself.

It took a couple of meditations and some muscle testing to realize what was being triggered. A very old primal fear came up. I traced it back to being barely four years old. At that time, shifts happened in my family with one of my sisters being born and my mother almost leaving my father due to another crisis. The experience I had back then was that it is not safe for me when shifts happen among the people I love. Once I had uncovered that limiting belief, it was easy to clear it out.

Nest 5

We can clear out fears or limiting beliefs using PSYCH-K® or another belief change technique. In addition it can help to use NLP-based techniques of refocusing on what we want at this point in our life. This helps us to further adapt to changes and to be able to direct our creative energy towards our own/new goals.

Sometimes we underestimate periods of transition in our life. We are getting married or moving in with someone. We are having a baby. We are melting two families. Somebody moves out. We are getting a promotion into a more challenging position. Somebody in the family is retiring. All these are usually “happy” events. Yet, just like losing our job, a break-up of a relationship, a separation, a divorce or losing somebody through death, transitions shake us and require adjustments. They can trigger emotions and fears. They might bring limiting beliefs up to the surface. They are, however, a gift. They are an opportunity to do our growth work.

Are you going through a transition in your life?

For Life Coaching and Emotional Healing Work

Contact Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

Leveraging the Placebo Effect

My friend’s husband has unknowingly been drinking caffeine-free coffee for the last three months. It worked just as well as regular coffee—until he found out that his wife and assistant had been conspiring for the sake of his health. The moment he found out it wasn’t “real” coffee and he shouldn’t be experiencing any stimulating effects, it stopped working.

Why did the caffeine-free substance work just as well for three whole months? That would be the placebo effect or the power of his mind. He expected it to work and hence experienced feeling more awake and less tired.

In the medical field, the placebo effect is defined as a measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health or behaviour that arises from the patient’s expectations concerning an inactive substance—like a sugar pill, distilled water, or saline solution—or a “fake” treatment rather than from the substance or treatment itself.

Different definitions speak about the expectation, or faith, or belief of the person as the defining factor for the placebo to work. Rob Williams, the founder of PSYCH-K®, a highly effective belief change system, suggests that it would be more fitting to refer to the placebo effect as the “perception effect”.

The western medical community has officially known about this phenomenon for 80 years. The American anaesthesiologist Henry Knowles Beecher discovered the placebo effect as a medic in World War II. After running out of pain-killing morphine, he replaced it with a simple saline solution but continued telling the wounded soldiers it was morphine to calm them.

If we have known about this for 80 years, why aren’t we leveraging the power of our mind more? The placebo effect should be a major topic of study in medical school. It gives doctors an efficient, side effect-free tool to treat disease. Instead it is often still regarded as something that is “all just in the person’s mind” and is linked to weak or suggestible patients.

We are all suggestible! Our world is full of suggestions, from the moment we wake up in the morning right up until we go to bed at night. The suggestions are on the radio, in the paper, on TV, and on the Internet. In fact, there are suggestions in this article that you are reading right now. Suggestions are littered throughout the media, whether they show up as supposedly objective news stories or commercials. They are on the bus and at work as we listen to other people sharing their beliefs. Beliefs are contagious. Suggestions are especially powerful when we enter the office of an authority like a doctor, a teacher or another person we admire and trust, like a Psychic we seek out for advice. And even when we are not listening to somebody outside ourselves, the suggestions are running in our own heads. We are constantly hypnotizing ourselves by repeating our current beliefs and stories.

Now, is that a problem? Not at all. We just need to harness the power of our subconscious mind and our beliefs and use them to our advantage. We need to be very aware of negative suggestions and we need to choose more supportive ones. We can literally change our biology and our health by what we believe to be true.

Bruce Lipton quote AUnfortunately, drug companies study patients who respond to the placebo effect with the goal of eliminating them from early clinical trials. (Greenberg, “Is it Prozac? Or Placebo?” 2003) An estimated one third of the population responds especially well to placebos. Those highly responsive people are eliminated before the drug is even tested. Drug companies obviously have no interest in researching the healing power we all have inside because we won’t need to buy drugs if we can actually heal from within. Knowing about the power of our beliefs and our ability to create our reality from those beliefs and perceptions, and to even change our biology, would open the door to a multitude of other possibilities for the human race. These potentialities would dramatically and completely change our consciousness level and affect the way we live. It would most likely be the end to many industries on the planet, the health industry being one of the foremost ones.

The Basic PSYCH-K® Training includes a documentary about different studies which illustrate that conventional medicine is often as effective as a placebo treatment. A Baylor School of Medicine study, published in 2002 in the New England Journal of Medicine, examined surgery for patients with severe and debilitating knee pain. The patients were divided into three groups. The surgeon, Dr. Bruce Moseley, shaved the damaged cartilage in the knee of one group. For the second group he flushed out the knee joint, removing all of the material believed to be causing inflammation. Both of these processes are the standard surgeries for severe arthritic knees. The third group only received a pretend surgery: the patients were sedated, the three standard incisions were made and then the surgeon talked and acted just as he would during surgery. All three groups were prescribed the same postoperative care which included an exercise program. The results were astonishing! The placebo group improved just as much as the other two groups who had surgery. The footage shows members of the placebo group walking and playing basketball.

Bruce Moseley quoteAnother area in which placebos have been proven to be highly affective is the antidepressant industry. A 2002 article published in the American Psychological Association’s prevention & treatment, by University of Connecticut psychology professor Irving Kirsch titled, “The Emperor’s New Drugs,” found that 80% of the effect of antidepressants, as measured in clinical trials, could be attributed to the placebo effect. Kirsch had to file a Freedom of Information Act request to even get his hands on the information on the clinical trials of the top six antidepressants on the market. In more than half of the clinical trials, the placebo worked as well as the drug. “The difference between the response of the drugs and the response of the placebo was less than two points on average on this clinical scale that goes from fifty to sixty points. That’s a very small difference, that difference is clinically meaningless.” (Kirsch)

Cell biologist Bruce Lipton also notes that the more antidepressants were talked about in the media and advertised for, the more effective they became. We are, as I mentioned earlier, all suggestible. We live in a culture where most people believe that anti-depressants work, and therefore they do.

A young man I know has recently been told that after taking a particular anti-depressant for six years his body had become accustomed to it and it would not work anymore. Guess what happened instantly after his doctor had given him this suggestion? Exactly! It stopped working for him. The one thing this young man can count on is that the doctor will next suggest this amazing new anti-depressant which will be all hyped up as working so much better. And it will indeed work. But not necessarily because the drug is all that it is made out to be, but rather because we believe it is. After all, anti-depressants are an $8.2 billion industry.

If we can heal by believing that a particular drug or treatment will cure us, what does this mean? It means that it is really our beliefs, thoughts, and feelings which are responsible for a change. We believe that the coffee will wake us up, or that the pain medication with a known brand name will reduce the discomfort, or that the anti-depressant will make us feel better. When it comes to depression, the general belief is that a chemical deficit in the brain is responsible. If our thoughts and emotions release different chemicals in the brain, wouldn’t it make more sense to work on a person’s thoughts and feelings to induce a different chemical state? Relaxation, meditation and belief change work are all a gift to claim our power to heal ourselves and to make any changes to our thoughts and experiences.

placebos 4

The first thing which needs to change is for everybody to realize that we are constantly influenced and hypnotized to believe what the people around us believe. We have been brainwashed and programmed to believe that we need something outside ourselves to make changes to what we believe to be real, like our physical health. One of the hardest things to do is probably to go against our collective beliefs.

Somebody who has been diagnosed with a particular illness, whether that is cancer, MS, lupus, fibromyalgia, to just name a few of those big ones, has to not only defy any personal limiting beliefs but also the collective beliefs about what it means to have one of these diseases. Connie Kowalski, an amazing colleague of mine, has refused to play within the field of Lupus and has come back to perfect health after needing a wheelchair and everybody fearing she wouldn’t have long to live. She did deep healing work at a subconscious level. Another friend and colleague of mine, Allison Bastarache, has done the same for MS. She healed herself completely and has now stepped into her calling of being an energy worker and spiritual healer. As these two amazing women and their beautiful healing stories show, our potential healing power is truly limitless!

Are you ready to embrace your own power to change your reality?

PSYCH-K®, Hypnosis and NLP all give us tools to make changes.

Contact Angelika

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

A Natural and Gentle Transition Through Menopause

In most cases, menopause or “the change of life” is not a condition that requires drugs or HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). It is one of life’s natural transitions, just like birth, puberty, pregnancy and death. It is a gradual process which begins 3-5 years (or longer) before the final menstrual period occurs. Once a woman has not had her period for a year, menopause is considered complete.

There are many natural ways of supporting yourself during this transition. Your diet, your life style, and your mental and emotional states are all important factors in how you experience this time in your life: whether you will suffer or can smoothly and easily move through it.

Menopause is strongly connected to adrenal glandular function. Weak adrenal glands are the reason for hot flashes, depression, fatigue, nervousness, irritability, anxiety, memory difficulties, problems with blood sugar levels, and loss of libido.

Physical and emotional stress weakens the adrenals. Is your diet high in fried foods, processed foods, soft drinks, refined carbohydrates or white sugar? Do you smoke, drink, or take other drugs? Do you work long hours under fluorescent lights? Do you experience emotional or psychological stress?

It is therefore important to change your lifestyle and learn to relax. Physical exercise, a healthy diet and, most of all, a healthy state of mind are imperative.

The best way to allow the adrenals to recover is to change your diet. Beyond what you “put into your body,” it is as important what you “put into your mind.” What is your mind set; what stressful programs are you running and how do they make you feel?

It might not always be possible to reduce the stressors in your environment. However, it is always possible to change how you feel about something. Hypnosis provides an excellent stress reduction technique. Both hypnosis and Psych-K® are techniques to access the subconscious mind and to change our beliefs and thoughts. By changing our beliefs, we can change how we think and feel about certain situations and people. We gain the freedom to respond differently to outside stressors.

The more you can welcome and embrace this natural change in your life, the smoother the transition will be. Rather than regarding it as a loss of youth, why not welcome menopause into your life as a joyful new period, the beginning of a new freedom from your menstrual cycle? You can let go of fears of getting pregnant; there is no more need for birth control. Most women find that their problems with painful cramps, uterine fibroids, and headaches disappear. In fact, many women describe a surge of physical and psychological energy at that time. You can look forward to an energetic, active, worry-free and healthy period in your life.

For emotional and mental work contact Angelika

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

905-286-9466

Traditional Chinese medicine balances the entire body and helps you naturally with herbs. For more information on herbal treatments and acupuncture, contact David Lloyd, R.Ac, R.TCMP.