Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work – And How to Ensure You Are Reaching Your Goals for 2020

Another year has passed and if you are like most people, you might be looking back right now, reflecting on your toughest challenges but also your happiest moments. Perhaps you can feel gratitude for what unfolded in 2019 and how it has served you. You might also be looking ahead, wondering what dreams and goals are still waiting to be fulfilled.

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I had a client a couple of days ago who, when we spoke about goals for the new year, insisted that she doesn’t know what she wants. Yet, we had already determined a hierarchy of her values and she had great clarity on what her top six values are. Ultimately, our values determine our dreams and goals. If family and friends are one of my top values, I will need to spend time with them in the new year. If adventure and new experiences are important, I might plan an exciting trip. If health is high on my list of values, I might want to make healthy lifestyle changes. Or if financial security is an important value, being out of debt or owning a house might be one of my goals. If companionship and love are high values, I might want to put myself out there to find a partner.

When we feel a resistance to planning ahead or figuring out our goals, we might hold an underlying belief that our wishes and dreams never come true anyways. Or perhaps we had a traumatic experience in the past where we made important plans which have not come true, and we are still grieving the loss of those dreams and plans.

We also need to have supportive subconscious beliefs in place to reach specific goals. Popular new year’s resolutions tend to be losing weight, exercising more, living healthier (e.g. quitting smoking, drinking less, changing your diet), financial abundance, travelling, or attracting a romantic partner.

But new year’s resolutions alone simply don’t work very well. They only work if we get our powerful subconscious mind on board with our conscious goals. Let me illustrate this with a couple of examples.

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In order to successfully lose weight, we for example need to believe at a subconscious level that

  • we can lose weight easily and effortlessly
  • exercising and moving our body is fun and enjoyable
  • we have a normal or fast metabolism
  • it is safe to be slim and attractive
  • it is easy to keep the weight down

and much more.

Or in order to get our finances in order and create abundance and financial security, we need to for example believe that

  • we can support ourselves
  • we deserve to make and keep money
  • we are good with money and finances
  • we can be a “good person” and make lots of money
  • we can do what we love and make the money we want

to just name a few beliefs.

No matter what dreams or goals we have, no matter what we want to create in our lives, whether that is better health, more abundance or loving relationships, we ultimately want happiness. So, it all begins with the decision to start loving what is and what we are creating right now. It literally begins with the decisions to live a joyous life in the present moment, instead of putting happiness on hold until we have reached a particular goal. From that joy we can more easily create what we want to see in our lives.

We also really need to focus all our attention on making the change. Another reason why new year’s resolutions don’t work is that we often do not consistently set and follow concrete action steps to reach our goals. Choose one goal that you want to reach and make it your first priority by figuring out reachable and reasonable action steps. Where attention goes, energy flows. And where energy goes, shifts and changes occur.

Making changes and keeping your new year’s resolutions starts with changing your subconscious beliefs and your thoughts. As you think differently, you are able to create better health and experience more abundance in every area of your life. PSYCH-K® and the belief change technique from Shadow Energetics allow us to reprogram your limiting beliefs into those beliefs which support your conscious goals for 2020.

Reach out to Angelika for more information

or to book a session in person

or—if you are not in the area—through Zoom.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

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What if our desire is not part of God’s plan?

Beth's text

Hi Angelika,
I have a question. I’m wondering how we know or manage our life around God’s plan for us or God’s divine timing.  We can do all of this work to align our desires and subconscious beliefs but what if what we desire is not part of God’s plan now or ever?  I think the answer may have something to do with living in the moment and accepting where we are now. If we do that each day then I guess we never really need to be so concerned about the future?

Beth


Dear Beth,

Personally I believe the separation between us and God is an artificial one; it is an illusion. God or Life Force flows through us, expresses itself through us and as us. We are God.

So really you are asking, what if we have cleared out all subconscious blocks and limiting beliefs, we have really visualized and felt the future we are moving towards but our desires don’t manifest in the time or way our conscious Ego is expecting?

I believe there is a higher plan and a perfect time and way for everything. Part of creating consciously is to let go of all expectations. We need to set clear intentions, send out clear signals about what we want and then let go of how our desires are supposed to manifest.

Beth

In the Science of Mind tradition* praying and manifesting through affirmative prayer has five parts:

  1. RECOGNITION that God/Life Force/the Universe/Spirit is all there is
  1. UNIFICATION with God; acknowledging that we are not separate from God but part of God/Life Force/the Universe/Spirit
  1. DECLARATION (not begging for but stating the desire clearly) or REALIZATION (feeling what it feels like to have it)
  1. GRATITUDE (already feeling the gratitude for everything that you will receive as if you have already received it)
  1. RELEASE (truly letting it go and surrendering to the how and when of the manifestation)

It is not enough to visualize, we also often need to come up with actions step to manifest our dreams. The perfect partner, the perfect job or perfect health will not just fall from the sky right into our lap. However, if we cannot really feel what we want, our creations will be less successful. Step 3 as well as 4 require us to go into the feeling space of what it is we desire. How does it feel to have love in your life, or abundance or success?

Take the time to line up the Energy first,

and action becomes inconsequential.

If you don’t take the time to line up the Energy,

if you don’t find the feeling place of what you’re looking for,

not enough action in the world will make any difference.

– Abraham

The letting go part (step 5) is an important element of manifesting as well. When you send off a letter, you put it in the mail box and trust that it will get delivered and it will be answered, don’t you? Not trusting that God or the Universe will hear you or respond, is as if you are opening the mail box to check over and over again if the letter has really been sent.

mail box

You are also absolutely right that “living in the moment and accepting where we are now” is part of the process. I would add to “accepting” “and loving what is”. We need to start living in this moment in time what we want to create. If we want respect, we need to make sure we are respecting ourselves and others. If we want more abundance, the fastest way to get it is to focus on all the abundance we already have. If we want love, we need to love ourselves and be loving with others. Be love and you can’t help but attract it. Feel abundant, happy, healthy and so on and you will create more of it.

Sometimes we want something but our higher self has a different plan for us. A typical and a bit overused example is when we want to win the lottery. Is it really the million dollar win which we want, or is it rather the feeling such an abundance of money would give us? Maybe it’s a feeling of freedom or opportunities? Maybe we want to stop worrying about money or be able to help others?

Is there another way besides winning a million dollars to give us what we really want? Maybe the learning is to stop worrying about money and to help others with the time and talents we have? Can we start feeling abundant and free and create opportunities independent of money?

Life is not about how things happen but about living to our fullest potential. I do believe the benevolent force we call God wants the best for us now and always. So the trick is to relax into knowing that life just wants to be lived and that we will get what is best in the time and in the way which is best for us. We need to just continue creating as consciously as possible.

Angelika
905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

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*Science of Mind was established in 1927 by Ernest Holmes (1887–1960) and is a spiritual, philosophical and metaphysical religious movement within the New Thought movement.