Do not ask me not to feel!

Last week, I had the pleasure of seeing one of my daughters on stage as Marianne Dashwood in the play “Sense and Sensibility”, based on Jane Austin’s novel. It was an amazing performance, drawing you in with laughter and tears, and transporting you back to England in 1792.

The confining atmosphere of society gossip and the desperation of many of the female characters to need to make a good match leaves you with an eerie feeling. The necessity of marrying well is one of the central themes of the story. In Austen’s era, a woman’s survival depended on her ability to acquire a husband, if possible, an affluent one. The more manipulative and cunning women were often the ones who ended up winning this game for the wealthy spouses. Yet, the two main female characters, Elinor and Marianne, end up finding true love and happiness without manipulation.

Sense and Sensibility, sisters and beaus

Performance and photography by Cawthra Park Secondary School

I could muse on the Universal theme of being rejected in love, or the patriarchal society and how patriarchal beliefs still affect us at a subconscious level today. However, what fascinates me most is the relationship of the two eldest Dashwood sisters. In the development of the story, the friendships of the sisters and what they learn from each other is at least as important as their relationships with their love interests.

Elinor and Marianne Dashwood are complete opposites. Every female reader or audience member can identify with either the older one or the younger one. They are a perfect example for how siblings carry each others shadow traits. Elinor is all “sense” and reason, while Marianne represents “sensibility” and feelings. Elinor makes cautious decisions based on rational considerations, on what is prudent and proper, while Marianne lives life impulsively and on an emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows, being guided by her feelings alone.

Sense and Sensibility, Elinor

Neither one of them is “whole”, as they have disowned the opposite energy represented by their sister. Just as Marianne needs to learn to adopt some of Elinor’s restraint and not to wear all her feelings on her sleeve, Elinor can learn to express her deeper emotions, warmth and spontaneity more.

We all have different primary personality parts and other more disowned parts or sub-personalities. As we witness Marianne’s impulsiveness which throws all caution or restraint to the wind, we recognize that part in all of us. We might anticipate and fear disaster for her as the story unfolds. We feel disappointment and sorrow when her love relationship with John Willoughby does not unfold as she anticipated.

Sense and Sensibility, Marianne

Marianne’s sorrow is frightening to Elinor, who just wants her sister to stop sobbing and to compose herself. But Marianne cannot help but live life from her primary self of passion. She exclaims, “Leave me, hate me, forget me, but do not ask me not to feel!” After almost dying from a serious fever and her “broken heart”, Marianne eventually learns to appreciate the value of a quieter and less glamorous admirer in the older Colonel Brandon. She begins to embrace the more level-headed energy which Elinor has been mirroring for her. She also has to forgive John Willoughby for breaking her heart and let go of the past to move forward with the Colonel, the better man.

Sense and Sensibility, Marianne sick

The story invites us to examine where in our lives we are out of balance between our rational and emotional sides, between caution and impulsiveness, between wearing a mask of civility and being our spontaneous and honest self. The plot calls us to consider how we show up in our relationships: passive or active, reluctant or forward-moving, polite or authentic. We are also encouraged to examine if we are stuck in the past and if we need to forgive somebody and let go, in order to move forward in our relationships.

We all grow up identifying with certain traits or parts in us and rejecting others. Jane Austin’s tale invites us to discover what we have disowned which might be useful to us. Accepting the ambivalence and moving beyond dualistic thinking of right and wrong, black and white, involves re-conceptualizing who we think we are and opening up to greater wholeness of our deeper selves.

What traits do you identify with and which opposite traits or shadows have you perhaps disowned? Do you feel judgment towards people who display what you have rejected for yourself? How does this affect you in your life or hold you back in your relationships?

Shadow work is one of the techniques I use as a Life Coach. If you are curious to find out more, contact me for a FREE phone consultation.

Angelika, 905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

You can also check the “Upcoming Workshops” schedule for the next four-day Shadow Energetics training or contact me for individual sessions.

If you are enjoying my articles, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

Tuning into Other People’s Energy

We often have a hard time accepting that which we do not understand. Any form of energy healing or healing over distance is not easy to comprehend intellectually. Yet, quantum science has given us the scientific background for those hard-to-explain phenomena which we cannot detect with our physical eyes.

In order to explain what energy is and how we can tune into other people’s energy to do healing work for them, I have to begin with the discoveries of quantum physics that energy and matter are really just two different forms of the same material. Given the correct conditions, matter can be converted to energy and energy can be converted to matter. That is, the energy can be experienced as a wave in an undefined, unbounded or non-localized form, extending to infinity. Or, it can be experienced as a particle, localized with a defined physical shape.

The double slit experiment revealed that the questions of what is matter and what is energy are not easy to answer. Matter creates a certain pattern. When you shoot matter through one slit, it creates one line, when you shoot it through two slits it creates two parallel lines. A wave sent through two slits, however, creates an interference pattern. When you take an electron, a tiny particle which is therefore—by definition—matter, and you shoot it through one slit, it behaves like matter and creates one line. When you shoot it through two slits, it surprisingly creates an interference pattern like a wave.

But it gets even stranger! When you add an observer into the equation, the electron behaves like matter, even when it goes through two slits! The act of observing the electron changes whether it shows up as localized matter or non-localized, as a wave or energy extending out to infinity. The electron seems to be aware that it is being watched. The observer collapses the wave function simply by observing.

Click on the link to watch a 6 minute clip from the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know?” about the double slit experiment.

Every day, we are creating our reality by localizing or non-localizing our energy. We do this through our observation or perspective. We localize our energy into a given physical experience through our focused attention. What you give energy to manifests. It does not matter whether we give it energy in a positive way, focusing on what we want, or in a negative way, worrying or complaining about what we do not want. The creative life force energy follows attention and localizes the experience we have been focusing on.

To understand how energy connections work, we also need to know that two electrons created together are entangled. If we take one of of those two electrons to the other end of the world and we manipulate one of them, the other one responds instantly. This either means that information would have to travel infinitely fast, faster than light, or that the they are still entangled. By extension, because every electron that exists in our world today was entangled at the moment of the big bang, everything and everybody is still connected!

Space gives the illusion that everything is separate. But this is just an illusion. In reality, the energy that makes up an object or a person is in multiple places at once. Objects can be in multiple locations simultaneously before detection. Once an object has been observed or has been detected, it shows up in one place only. By observing it, we are calling it into one location.

We are, of course, made up by our atoms, our individual cells and so on. However, the deepest and most fundamental truth is that at the sub-nuclear level, we are all one. This invisible connection between everything is called entanglement. Einstein called it “spukhafte Fernwirkung” or “spooky action at a distance”. The results of entanglement appear to be “spooky” because we can’t see with or eyes that two places in space are co-located or co-existing.

Dean Radin, who examined para-psychological phenomena, explains it like this: “You head is here but also spread out through space and time. My head and the other person’s head are co-located.” What gives us the ability to connect with the other person is our intention. According to Radin, our entanglement manifests through phenomena like telepathy, clairvoyance, precognition, psychokinesis and distance healing. These phenomena seem to either transcendent the illusion of separation, of time, or of space.

“We swim in a field of light” (Lynne Taggart) which connects us all. This field is also called the zero-point field. We are always connected and the illusion of separation creates many problems in today’s world. We all exist in that field. Our body is a localized energy that exists at a given location but at the same time it has a portion that permeates all of reality and is capable of sensing all of reality.

We are usually trained to primarily sense the physical reality. To recognize and utilize the wave nature of our body, we need to understand and accept that our body is just like the antenna of a radio or a TV, which senses the electromagnetic signals. From the electromagnetic energy, the sound we hear or the picture that we see is produced. Our body is similar to an antenna on a radio or TV; a piece of metal that is sensitive to energy waves in the air. If waves are present, the antenna vibrates, but only by tuning the receiver you can transform the vibration in the antenna to a sound that you can hear or a picture that you can see. The antenna continues to vibrate whether or not one turns the receiver on. However, without the receiver the antenna is useless.

tv-antenna

How we focus our awareness and attention is how we “tune in” and “change” channels from one frequency to another. I might for example usually be tuned into 96.7 Angelika FM and that is what I download daily. But by intention and permission, I can focus on downloading and bringing in 88.5 Ben FM or 69.3 Sparky the dog AM.

This process creates a link-up between a stand-in and the unified consciousness of an individual or a group. There is no way to abuse this process because the Higher Wisdom of both parties, of the stand-in and of the person being channeled, must agree to begin and continue this connection. Your intention needs to be pure as opposed to imposing your will on another person. If you have an agenda and the work is not in the highest degree of integrity and in line with the highest wisdom and benefit for the participants, the link-up will not work or it will de-link.

What we have learned and been taught, as well as the experiences we have had, determines how we have been trained or not trained to use this antenna. Our antenna is always sensing the energy of our environment and continually relays that information to the brain, but as physical beings, we filter most of it out so we can have the experience of being human. Our powerful subconscious mind picks up everything that is going on, but the conscious mind can only process a very small percentage of that input. If we were consciously aware of all that we can sense, we would not perceive the separation that is required to live as a human.

Our subconscious uses body feelings, images and thoughts that we can understand symbolically or literally. All of the signals the body senses are picked up by the subconscious mind and it can present to our conscious mind images, thoughts or a “knowing”, because something just “popped into our mind”. The origin of that information is the unified field of consciousness.

However, if we are too busy thinking of other things or if we have learned to ignore and judge these messages, then we will miss the information that is being communicated to us. We have to be listening and “tuning in” to receive the information from the unified field and the subconscious mind.

Angelika

Belief Change Coach and Workshop Facilitator

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

If you are enjoying my articles, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

The Effects of an Attitude of Gratitude

Have you ever heard somebody say “You should be grateful for…”? How did that feel? Was that an invitation to even consider shifting into an attitude of gratitude?

Growing up as a child, gratitude got a “bad rap” for me. Gratitude went into my shadow for a while because I could not relate to it. My parents’ and grandparents’ experience came from lack. Some very essential ingredients were missing when they referred to gratitude with that disapproving voice. They completely missed the joy, the magic, and the wonder that is to be found in gratitude. When they referred to gratitude it came from the head instead of the heart, it came from fear to have to experience lack again, instead of knowing the universe as abundant. Instead of teaching true gratitude by their example, they preached gratitude and judged what they perceived as “ungrateful”.

When I moved from Europe to Canada, Thanksgiving became one of my favourite times of the year. I loved teaching my children about giving thanks and seeing their brains process the information of abundance. Their eyes lit up and their creative little minds joyfully came up with more magical and wonderful things that had manifested and were reasons for thankfulness.

What actually happens when we focus on all our blessings? Quantum physics has taught us that we affect and create change by what we observe. We literally modify the molecules that make up our physical world. As we are focusing our attention on all we have in abundance and give thanks for everything, for what we really enjoy but also for everything we like less, we are affecting our reality.

We are happier, we are healthier and we are able to perceive opportunities and more abundance. Complaining inhibits our brain from properly processing information. Our perceptive filters prevent us from seeing what we are looking for. We only see the print-out in the physical world of our past fears and worries. Complaining creates interference. Instead of using our ability to create with clear focus what we actually want, we are creating blocks and are getting ourselves stuck.

gratitude-james-mellon_-cement

What we complain about expands. Complaining brings on more of what we are complaining about. We always have the choice. We can focus on gratitude or on complaining. We are creating either way.

Gratitude is not something we do but who we become as we focus on our riches. Gratitude is a powerful magnet. It is expansive. Complaining, worrying and “should-ing” are constrictive. They create statics in the infinite field of possibilities. An attitude of unhappiness and dissatisfaction keeps us away from our good. “You should be grateful” is counterproductive. Saying “yes” to life means working in resonance with the field of possibilities.

 

gratitude-e-tolle_always-say-yes

In today’s globalization, we are being sold a hostile world everywhere. Our fear driven amygdala kicks in and buys into the illusion of separation, of living in a “dog-eat-dog” world. We feel small, unsafe and shift into “fight mode”. From that fear, ideas of greed, envy and competition are born.

During the Shadow Energetics workshop, we begin one morning with a deep meditation called “Being State Meditation” which my friend Darryl Gurney created. The purpose of that meditation is to experience ourselves as different from form, independent of the many roles we all play, of experiencing ourselves as true essence. Once we have had that taste of being more than our physical body and being connected with everything and everybody it has to reflect our choices. We realize the responsibility we all carry for the entire system we are all part of.

Everything is connected. Just like the five fingers of my hand are all connected, each of us is an integral part of one living system; we live as such, breathe as such, thrive as such. Everything I do affects everything else. We affect and change everything, even just by observing and thinking, not to mention by what we say and do. When we apply our beliefs, fears and opinions to the world, we shape the world. If we buy into hostility and danger, we create more violence and aggression. If our commodities are love, compassion and forgiveness, we contribute to healing the planet.

Experiments with the Transcendental Meditation® technique has shown that only one square root of 1% of a population practicing unconditional love and true peace, results in measurable improvements away from fear, crime, aggression and violence, to lower crime rates, less violence, cooperation and group thinking.

gratitude-pam-grout

“… By choosing to add energy to the resonant field of gratitude and joy, you can fundamentally change the world… you don’t have to march for peace (although you may want to)… You can enlarge the conversation by taking your focus off the negative and noticing all the things that are going right, taking a stand for goodness of humanity.” (Pam Grout)

What we choose to focus on manifests. My mind creates my experience, not the other way around! Therefore, it is my responsibility to see a friendly Universe. It is my essential contribution to making this planet the beautiful, safe and loving place it can be.

thanksgiving-happy-thanksgiving-2

If you are enjoying my articles, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

Angelika Baum

Belief Change Coach and Workshop Instructor

905-286-9466, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Steam Kettle

Have you ever engaged in any of the following behaviours, short-term or long-term? Most people are familiar with at least one of these responses.

– addictive eating, drinking or smoking

– taking drugs or medications

– engaging in workaholic behaviour

– addictive exercising

– gambling

– shopping to feel better

– addictive consummation of media

What is going on with these behaviours? These are all short term coping mechanisms to distract ourselves from unpleasant emotions. We have been conditioned to respond to pain, sadness, grief, and stress by eating, drinking, smoking, or distracting ourselves with any of the other above mentioned activities.

Short-term, these activities might feel like they give us some relief, but we have not addressed the real problem by engaging in these behaviours. We have taken our emotions and stuffed them down with food, alcohol, drugs or we have distracted ourselves from acknowledging and feeling them. We are doing what we have learned as children when we were comforted with food. Our caregivers didn’t know that the cookie to sweeten the disappointment, or the tub of ice cream for the heart ache, or the cake to stuff the anger down would become our automatic go-to and our basis for any addictive behaviour.

steam kettle cropped

Do you still remember those old fashioned steam kettles which sat on the stove with a flame burning below? John W. James and Russell Friedman use the example of such a steam kettle to explain what is going on. These kettles were fitted with a whistle to notify us when the water has reached the boiling point. Instead of responding appropriately to the whistle and dealing with the hot water, we have been trained to jam a cork in the spout. The cork represents our beliefs that sad and other uncomfortable emotions are too painful to feel and should be kept under wraps. A steam kettle without a cork can release built up energy right away. A steam kettle with the cork builds up to an unbearable amount of pressure. As a result, we engage in one of the addictive or unhealthy activities above to relieve the pressure short-term. They help us to temporarily forget or bury our emotions.

Unfortunately, emotions are energy in motion. Energy has to go somewhere. It ends up stored in our bodies and manifests as energy blockages, pain and illnesses. Suppressed emotions consume tremendous amounts of energy. We need all our strength to keep the cork in the spout and all our concentration to ensure the steam kettle will not explode. The more emotions we push down, the more energy is required. Unresolved emotional issues have a negatively cumulative effect. We lose our health, wellbeing and joy.

Stem Kettle - When you welcome your emotions

To change the addictive behaviours and to regain our full energy potential, health and happiness, we need to learn to deal with emotions differently. Instead of pushing them down, we need to look them straight into their face; instead of judging them, we need to let them be what they are; instead of blaming others for our emotions, we need to take responsibility for them and forgive others for triggering them.

Nobody makes us feel angry, sad, “not good enough” or any of the other many emotions. Other people and circumstances are not responsible for how we feel inside. If somebody brings low energy, addiction, victimhood or other states of mind into your life which you do not want to partake in, set clear boundaries. Then take responsibility for your own emotions and do the “happiness work”. Decide to work thought and release what you do not want and bring joy and happiness into every day. Gratitude, joy and laughter are a choice; they are your choice!

We also need to teach our children that they are strong enough to feel any emotions. All emotions are good because they give us feedback. Anger is the brightest warning light. It gives us the feedback that something is not right. Underneath the anger, there are usually other more vulnerable feelings. We can teach our children to listen to what is really going on, that their needs matter and that they can share their feelings and needs.

Steam Kettle - Your emotions are your best friend

Emotions inform us. Sadness, for example, gives us the feedback that we are missing a person or object. Grief is long-term sadness due to a loss or change we’ve experienced: something is still incomplete in regards to this change and needs to be completed. Depression could be hidden grief. Frustration lets us know that something is not working, that our needs are not met. Fear and stress are a sign that we need to change our stories and beliefs, which cause anxiety and overwhelm.

However, before we can address the needs these emotions inform us about, we need to remember that all emotions are good. To shift out of our unhealthy responses to emotions, we need to accept them, love ourselves with them and take responsibility for them.

In my one-on-one sessions as well as in the Shadow Energetics workshop, I teach an emotional release process. By applying this process, we change how we handle emotions and we have a tool to effectively release stuck emotions from our body and field. Once we have released the emotional charge, we can understand the message and address our needs appropriately.

Angelika, greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca, 905-286-9466

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

 

 

Rituals

Relationships need rituals. With our children we all recognize the need for rituals. We hug and kiss them goodbye and hello. We might have the ritual of reading or singing to them before bed-time, eating certain meals together, perhaps engaging in a spiritual practice, or we might have a ritual of doing something together like gardening. When my children were small I used to put a note of encouragement or love in their lunch box on a regular basis. Perhaps, you have a personal sharing ritual with your children? For a while we used to do the “What was the best part of your day?”- Question at dinner. In fact, the day with children is full with deliberate moments of ritual behaviour.

rituals blog bench under willow

We say the children need rituals. I would like to claim that it is not just the children but the relationship itself which needs the rituals. Rituals give us predictability and help us to be emotionally connected with each other; they make our relationships stronger. As our children become older, some rituals change or fall by the wayside. However, those rituals were part of the reason why the connection between us exists.

We all have birthday rituals. In our family, the birthday girl or boy is being woken up with a song in the morning. The cake later in the day, with the ritual of singing and blowing the candles out, making a wish is another common ritual in many families. Birthday presents are rituals. We all have our rituals around different holidays. They all strengthen the bond between the members of the family engaging in those rituals.

“Rituals are an important part of belonging. They are repeated, intentional ceremonies that recognize a special time or connection. Rituals engage us, emotionally and physically, so that we become riveted to the present moment in a positive way.” (Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight)

My dad calls us every Sunday morning. This is a ritual established more than 60 years ago as his mother, my grandmother, could already be counted on calling every Sunday morning. When I know we will be out, I’ll let him know, not because he will otherwise worry, my dad is pretty laid back despite being in his 80ties, but because it acknowledges our ritual and shows both of us that we value and treasure it.

Fourteen years ago, when I first moved to this area, I very quickly made a new friend, another mother from the school my older daughter was attending. Right from the start, we established a strong ritual. Once a month we went on a girl’s night out, going to dinner and a movie afterwards. This ritual lasted long after our children were not attending the same school anymore and they had lost touch with each other. Our friendship remained strong due to our ritual.

Then our lives became so busy that we did not have a lot of time anymore to go out at night and we changed our ritual to going for lunch. However, that new ritual did not have the same strength as our old one. I am sad to say that our lunch dates became more and more infrequent and our friendship drifted apart. Friendships need rituals. Some friendships need regularly shared activities, other friendships can survive on picking up the phone twice a year on each other’s birthday. However, without recognizing the bond in an intentional way, the friendship is going to struggle to survive.

The one relationship which we sometimes forget when it comes to rituals is our partnership or marriage. When I was married to my first husband, we didn’t go out anymore for regular dates after the children were born. We didn’t recognize the importance of alone time and rituals to keep our bond strong. Regular small gestures or ways of connecting go a long way in keeping a relationship healthy.
rituals blog bench in snow

What rituals do you have—or would you like to establish—in your primary love relationship? Do you touch, kiss and hug as part of your day, on waking up, going to sleep, leaving the house or coming home? Do you call or text during the day, not just to exchange information but to connect emotionally? Do you take a new class together, for example learning a language, or taking a cooking class, or dance class together? Do you have a special time together, for example having your morning coffee together or maintaining a regular date night or weekend getaway?

Other bonding rituals, deliberately structured moments of connecting, are validating your partner’s struggles and victories on a regular basis, for example “I am so amazed how you are able to…”, “I am proud of you for pushing through…”, or “I saw you struggle in that situation. You did your best…”

Publicly recognizing your partner and your relationship in front of friends or family members is another way of strengthening the bond. Some couples renew their vows; others are comfortable to express their love on facebook. But even a simple thank you in front of other people on a regular basis is a ritual that strengthens the relationship. Or a gesture of gratitude like bringing flowers home with a sincere thank you “for everything you do”.

Roses

As mentioned above, one ritual for some couples is to take a workshop together. Many couples who have taken our workshops have established a ritual of helping each other to change subconscious beliefs. I am teaching muscle testing during the four day Shadow Energetics Workshop. We will learn to muscle test others and how to do self-muscle testing.

To learn more contact Angelika

905-286-9466 (free phone consultation) or

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

For 2016 workshop dates and locations go to Upcoming Workshop.

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

 

 

 

 

The Patriarch and Matriarch Within

Have you heard statements like “men just don’t know how to be caring and nurturing”, “men are responsible for the mess this world is in” and “if it were up to women, there would be no wars”? Or “men think with their penises and only want one thing”? Or what about, “If men had to give birth, the human race would be extinct”?

When we ask ourselves honestly, in the tradition of Byron Katie, “is this true?” and “can we absolutely know this is true?” we have to admit that these statements reflect the speaker’s opinion and belief system. All these statements are generalizations based on certain beliefs. They are just as untrue and general as saying “women should leave high profile jobs with good salaries to men”, or “women should stay home for the children”, or “a woman’s place is in the kitchen”, or “cleaning is women’s work”, or “women are more emotional and less rational than men”.

The latter statements we might categorize as chauvinistic and patronizing. We can see that they have originated from a patriarchal world view. We fancy ourselves modern enough not to buy into the idea that women are inferior to men. We feel they deserve equal rights and opportunities. Yet, what is going on in our subconscious mind? What beliefs have we been conditioned with in regards to gender?

In the Psychology of Selves, we have a model of the different parts in us which all make up who we are. There is also a part in us who has learned the patriarchal beliefs and has become the voice of the Patriarch inside of us. The Inner Patriarch voice sees women as inferior. While the outer patriarchy is visible and can be called out on its lack of truth or gender equality, the inner voice is sneaky. It is the invisible force that holds women back to be whole human beings and to freely choose the life they want to live.

That Inner Patriarch voice might be saying that the needs of men are more important; or that being a woman, it is not okay to speak up to a man, to say “no” to him, to disagree with him and/or be assertive. Or it might be reflected in a fear that it is not safe to be a woman in this world. The voice may be convinced that a woman is not as good in math and science and not capable of repairing things; that women in important positions cannot be trusted; or that a single woman or divorced women is a spinster who in some way is lacking and unable to catch a man.

When I first came across the concept of the Inner Patriarch, I was convinced that I had none of those beliefs. I had to admit that they existed in my psyche as well and determined certain feelings, decisions or behaviours. They sometimes sit deep in our subconscious mind. We are so used to them that we do not even recognize them anymore, but we might wonder why we feel and act one way and not another.

What about men? Do they have a similar inner voice that holds them back? What happens to a man who grows up without a confident male role model in a household of women who dislike males? A boy who has a strong mother figure who disapproves of or ridicules his feelings and behaviours just because he is male? For example, a controlling, overbearing mother or step-mother who secretly feels threatened by his masculinity and makes sure that all male energy is labelled as unacceptable.

The Inner Matriarch is proud of women. That part has a high respect for women and for traditionally feminine traits. She is a warrior: neither impressed nor intimidated by men. As such, this voice serves women and balances out the Inner Patriarch. The Inner Matriarch thinks women are actually far superior to men. They are stronger—even if not always physically—able to endure pain better, cleverer because they won’t be played by other women like men will; they are more mature and realize what is really important; they are in touch with their feelings; they are more compassionate, caring, loving and much more intuitive; thus they must be the better healers and spiritually much more advanced.

Sidra Stone - quoteThe Inner Matriarch voice can support women not to be ashamed, apologetic or defensive about being a woman. The Inner Matriarch encourages women to be proud of themselves. However, it puts down not only men but traditionally male qualities in men and women.

What happens when a man grows up hearing all the time that men are inferior to women because only women are biologically capable of taking care of what is really important? He feels the judgement of the women raising him and experiences that speaking up, standing up for himself and his needs, and claiming his male power is looked down upon or even smothered in the core.

I believe that this can only go two ways. Either the man grows up over-identifying with the traditional male qualities of power, competition, and being disconnected from his own and other people’s emotions. More often than not, however, the result is a man who is deeply insecure in his own masculinity and is afraid to speak up to strong women. Although intuitive and longing to step into traditionally more feminine qualities while still maintaining his masculinity, he is hesitant to claim his wholeness.

More and more men seem to be lost. They don’t know how to be compassionate, caring, loving, intuitive males who at the same time are strong, confident, self-assured and powerful. If they have learned that there is something wrong with traditionally more masculine qualities and that as males they are just never as good in traditionally feminine roles, they find themselves between a rock and a hard place.

The future of the human race, however, lies in the hands of all of us, men and women. Our planet needs both the Divine Feminine as well as the Divine Masculine. We need whole human beings who are loving, compassionate, caring, nurturing, cooperative, passive, introverted, emotional and at the same time strong, assertive, powerful, active, extroverted and rational—independent of their gender.

If you want to work on separation from the Inner Patriarch and/or the Inner Matriarch, or change other limiting beliefs into more supportive beliefs please contact

Angelika

Belief Change Coaching & Shadow Work

Tel. 905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow Greendoor to receive an e-mail notification whenever I post a new blog. All you need to do is to click the “follow” button in the right-hand corner of your screen.

How do I interpret my dreams?

Dreams are one way of our subconscious mind to communicate with us. They are full of symbols. The art is to listen, to understand and to find out what needs to be done to address the messages a dream gives us. How do I open the door to my dreams?

Dreams_Door

If you currently have trouble remembering your dreams, set a clear intention that you want to receive messages in the dream state. Keep paper to write or a recorder next to your bed. That way you can jot down or record your dream while you are still half asleep and in the alpha brain wave state. Once we get up and move our bigger muscles, we go into beta brain wave activity and it is much harder to remember a dream. If you still find it challenging to recall your dreams you might need to do a belief balance like “I clearly remember my dreams” or “It is safe for me to remember my dreams”, using PSYCH-K® or another modality.

If you are working with another person’s dream, honour and respect their confidentiality and vulnerability. Refrain from offering your own interpretations. Only the dreamer themselves can for sure say what a certain person, animal or object represents to them and what their dream means to them. If they are at a loss to understand their dream you can offer a respectful comment like “If it were my dream, I would wonder if…”

You can access dream dictionaries to get an idea of the symbolic meaning of dream images. However, ultimately all that matters is what something means to the individual dreamer. For example, according to Freud’s classic dream interpretation theory, a snake showing up in a dream represents a phallic symbol that could relate to how you experience male energy or your own sexuality. However, a snake might represent many other things to an individual. How does the snake act? Is the snake viewed as dangerous or beautiful? A snake can appear in your dreams as an animal spirit guide or animal totem, bringing guidance about life direction and healing opportunities. A snake sheds its old skin and renews. It might symbolize the end of something and the beginning of something new. What type of snake shows up in your dream can change the meaning. Is the dreamer themselves “acting like a snake” or is there somebody in their life who has snake-like energy? What part in the dreamer does the snake possibly stand for?

Some dreams are prophetic, most are symbolic and contain hidden messages for us. Whether you are analyzing your own dream or helping somebody else understand theirs here is a method which we use in Shadow Energetics to map out your dreams and to access the messages:

Write down the dream. Draw a box around the setting, circle the people and animals, underline each major object, draw a wavy line under each feeling and underline with an arrow the major actions. Now you can begin to muscle test or use your pendulum to figure out what part of your dream requires your attention. Is it the people, the animals, the objects, the settings, the feelings or actions?

Dream Example

Once you have keyed in on the major aspects ask how you feel about them, the people, animals, objects, actions and when did you last have a feeling from a dream in real life? To understand what a person or animal represents describe what they are like. Do they remind you of any part of yourself? When we dream of a young child, that child might represent our own inner child inside. If the child in your dream is lost and you are looking for her or him, this could reflect your own relationship with yourself. Have you lost the connection to your own vulnerability or playfulness? Do you need to pay attention to what your inner child needs or wants?

There are many more questions you can ask. Muscle testing can help you to efficiently narrow down what the message is and what you are supposed to do in regards to the message. You might need to change some beliefs and/or some concrete action steps might be required. If you are not accustomed to using muscle testing or a pendulum, you can bring a dream message into a meditation with you and ask what you need to know about this dream.

Darryl G quote

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If you are interested to learn more about interpreting your dreams contact

Belief Change Coach Angelika
905-286-9466
greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

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