Turn Your Face to the Sun

(Dedicated to my mom on the 1st anniversary of her death)

 

“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you”

– Maori Proverb

 

When I opened “365 Science of Mind: A Year of Daily Wisdom from Ernest Holmes” to the month of July the quote above jumped out at me. Synchronicity has it that this was exactly the quote used at my mom’s memorial service a year ago. With the anniversary of her passing today, I remember her with love and am contemplating the inner shifts which have occurred since her passing.

One of the first thoughts I had after my mom passed was, “I will never again be loved in the same way in my life.” It seems that is a common emotion and fear when losing one or both of your parents. “…with the death of your parent you may feel the loss of the perfect and unconditional love that only a parent is supposed to be capable of supplying.” (Therese A. Rando, How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies, 143)

One of my own daughters echoed that belief when she said to me a few months afterwards in her childlike innocence “Do you know why I love you? – I love you because you love me so much. You are my mommy and you always love me.” As amazing as it was to hear her love declaration, it hurt because it reminded me that the time of receiving that unconditional mother’s love is gone for me. But is it really gone?

“Do you have any kind of relationship with people after they die? Of course. You have a relationship of memory. Precious memories, dreams reflecting the significance of the relationship and objects that link you to the person who died (such as photos, souvenirs, clothing, etc.) are examples of some of the things that give testimony to a different form of a continued relationship. This need of mourning involves allowing and encouraging yourself to pursue this relationship.” (Alan D. Wolfelt, Understanding Your Grief, 92)

My mom and her mother love live on in me. I know she still loves me. It is just up to me to continue that unconditional love by taking care of that little child that we all have inside. I need to look after the little girl who needs to be taken care of, reassured, encouraged and treated with love and compassion. It is my job to integrate her into the wholeness of my being. That enables me to act consciously instead of re-act from that wounded part inside. More than ever, my mother’s physical death is a call to do my inner child work and to parent myself in the way I parent my own children.

Another interesting shift occurred in the family dynamics and the relationship with my father.

“The death of the first parent usually means some reorganization in your relationship with your surviving parent. Regardless of the quality of the relationship, it will need to be readjusted to reflect the fact that your parent is not one of two parents anymore, but your sole surviving parent. You will need to perceive and relate to this parent as an individual, who is no longer one-half of the parental unit.” (Therese A. Rando, How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies, 150)

In fact, the relationship with my father went through a lot of adjustments over the past year. Last summer we found ourselves in deep hurt and misunderstanding. He insisted on making arrangements for my mom’s memorial service and funeral that I felt were not in line with her wishes. That disagreement surfaced a truth that could no longer be ignored. We did not know how to interact with or relate to each other. My mother had always been the go-between and her passing was exposing the gap between us.

Neither of us felt supported by the other; he did not feel respected and I had to forgive him completely before we could move on to hearing, understanding and appreciating each other. At the heart of this experience was a need to know and accept each other as pure Love. Over the next few months, we slowly found to greater understanding and healing as I let go of old stories I had grown up with.

One of the stories I had to let go of was one of my mother’s favourites: the story that she was a victim, making the man in her life the victimizer. I had a lot of judgements around their relationship. With my mother’s death, I was given an opportunity—a beautiful gift—to actually get to know the man who is my father, separate from those old stories.

This transition also meant not accepting new stories based on old patterns either. There was no victim. Both of them attracted into their life exactly the right person they needed for their growth. This knowledge allows me to see my mother with compassion instead of pity and my father with love instead of judgement.

My mom’s legacy, beyond the obvious that she was a beautiful and smart woman living her life with passion, lies in what she did not do. She did not move out of her stories of dependency and victimhood. She chose to feel separate, helpless and unloved. That is her story, but mine still continues to be written, written quite differently.

“The essence of finding meaning in the future is not to forget my past, as I have been told, but instead to embrace my past. For it is in listening to the music of the past that I can sing in the present and dance into the future.” (Alan D. Wolfelt, Understanding Your Grief, 92)

I continue the relationship with my mom and carry her in my heart as I turn towards the sun. When I face the light the shadows fall behind me. Turning towards the sun for me means turning towards Love. Ultimately all that is real is the Love we come from and the Love we all go back to at the end of our lives.

Do Not Let Your Story Define You

“If you look at the things in your life, the things that have brought you some level of harm, some level of shame, some level of whatever: are you allowing those things to define you? Or can you step into your light right here, right now, and define them and say, ‘I no longer accept this, I no longer accept the thing that is harmful, I no longer accept what I feel shame about.’ Because what it comes down to is, it is story!” (Jonathan Zenz, Centre of Spiritual Living, Toronto)

Healing is not about getting rid of our stories, denying them, or suppressing them. Your story makes you the beautiful human being that you are. Healing is about getting rid of the hold a painful story has over you; clearing out the emotional charge the story has for you. The moment you truly let go—forgive others and yourself—you are free. You take the energy back that you have bound up in the past. You are free to move forward into a happier future.

“From heart ache comes evolution, revelation, and resolution.” (Jonathan Zenz)

When we take responsibility as the powerful creator that we are (evolution), we suddenly also understand that we are in control of our feelings (revelation), and can emotionally let go of our story (resolution).

We move up from a state of being a powerless victim, helpless to the things that “just happen to us for no good reason,” to claiming responsibility for our feelings and to creating our future. We realize the law of course and effect is always in place. What has shown up in our life is there for a reason. We co-created it, sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously. The energy we send out draws in “form” that is in line with that energy. The people and events that show up vibrate at the same frequency as we do. The more we are able to come from love and trust, the more positive the experiences that we manifest are.

 

How do I move out of my old stories?

Step number one is to realize when we are “running stories”. Our emotions are our guidance system to let us know when we are stuck in a place of fear, sadness, anger, or any other strong emotion due to our thoughts. The emotions are an incentive to follow those feelings back to the story or belief that triggered them.

Step number two is to make a conscious decision of wanting to let go of stories that do not work for us anymore. Notice if there are any attachments, because an old story can be strangely comforting and familiar. Can I let go of the “victim mode”? Can I step into my full power as the spiritual being I am?

Step number three is to claim responsibility for our thoughts, words and actions. We might have to transform old limiting beliefs systems as we change our words. Thoughts and words are very powerful. With those words we are constantly creating our reality.

Step number four is to walk the talk. Become a conscious observer of what is going on in your head and what manifests in your life. Course corrections and u-turns are at times necessary for all of us. We are all works in progress.

 

For coaching and belief change work contact me

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

What If I Make a Wrong Decision?

We all have to make decisions in life, some of the bigger ones are relationship-related (moving in/out, marriage, having children, separation, divorce), and others might be job-related. When I am assisting clients to become clearer on the choices they are faced with, we examine their beliefs that prevent them from making the most beneficial decision. Fears and limiting beliefs are transformed in the coaching session into more supportive beliefs.

Often I find that a big stumbling block for clients is the fear of making a “wrong decision” or a “mistake.” That paralyzing idea in itself is the problem! There are no right or wrong decisions. We all make choices all the time, some originate from love, others come from fear or a feeling of lack; some come from spiritual awareness and with clarity, others more from Ego and limiting beliefs.

As a result of those thoughts, words, or actions, we draw the same quality of energy back in that we have made our choice from. This manifests as consequences in our life. However, there are no mistakes. Whatever shows up is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and to grow personally and spiritually.

We are all individualizations of the one spirit. “Individuality means real individualized being and real personified self-choice” (Ernest Holmes, Science of Mind, 73). Without our freedom of choice, we would not have the learning experiences that we do.

In any given moment in time, it is better to make a choice when you are at a crossroad, than to sit on the fence afraid to make a mistake. In a way, sitting on the fence not making a decision between choice one and two, is a third choice. It’s the choice not to take responsibility but to let others make a choice for you.

Surrendering to what is unfolding and being open to our own innate wisdom takes away the fear. Know that there are no wrong choices. Spirit primarily wants you to have an experience and to learn from that experience.

“There are no mistakes; none have ever been made and none ever will be made.” (Ernest Homes, Science of Mind, 255)

I am grateful for all my choices, the ones that originated from a higher consciousness as well as those which originated from a place of “need” and feeling separated from Source. Often those so-called “bad decisions” have taught me more than a “right” decision ever could.

What helps us to make more beneficial decisions is being aware of our soul’s purpose. Part of the counseling I offer is life purpose coaching. Once we have a clearer understanding of that purpose, it is easier to make conscious choices from a place of love and trust.

 

For a guided life purpose journey or belief change work contact me

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

 

 

Letting Go of Your Stories

How do we create a future for ourselves which is abundant with love, joy, health and prosperity? A reality in which we feel empowered about what shows up in our life and how we respond to it? How do we embrace each experience as a learning opportunity on our path of personal and spiritual growth?

The key is “eliminating your need to hold on to stories from your past that no longer work for you.” (Jonathan Zenz, Centre of Spiritual Living, Toronto). The past is over. All that is real right now is the present moment. The stories do not matter anymore!

Sometimes we need to forgive others and/or ourselves in order to let go of the energy we have bound up in the past. Sometimes we need to examine our stories to find the truth for our growth, healing and evolution. Sometimes we need to face our fears to move forward into the future we really want. “The capacity of letting go of your story opens you up to a brand new story being written.” (Jonathan Zenz)

Part of letting go is realizing that life is not about being right or wrong.“We hold on to our stories because we believe they actually bring us something. We believe they make us powerful because we hold onto this idea that we were right. We were absolutely right!” (Jonathan Zenz) This obsession to be right holds us hostage to the story, to an energy of judgment and righteousness. The true power, however, lies in love.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field. I will meet you there.”

(Rumi)

When we move out into that field beyond right and wrong—into the energy of love—everything is possible. We realize that we are all wounded and that those wounds can be healed with love. We can shift into self-love and be compassionate with ourselves. We can let go of expectations and love others unconditionally.

We are co-creators of our reality. In fact, the Universe would not even exist without our participation as an intelligent force in it.

“You can either participate consciously or subconsciously. What would you rather have the experience of? Conscious, constructive, forward moving, evolutionary living—or subconscious [living], and have it all just show up?” (Jonathan Zenz)

Our experiences have formed us but they do not define who we will be tomorrow. Who we are today and who we will be tomorrow is the experience we are creating in this moment, the story we are writing right now. At any given time, we can change our life and create the kind of experiences we would rather have. We can let go of all limiting beliefs and move into abundance.

Are you ready to let go of your subconscious beliefs that hold you back? Are you prepared to examine your stories for their usefulness and let the ones go that are not for your benefit? Are you ready to forgive and just let go?

Contact me for a free consultation, or to make an appointment for coaching or belief change work.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Heaven Is Within

(dedicated to my mom)

Today, June 23, is my mom’s birthday. Last year, she passed on just 12 days after her birthday. I believe that only her mortal body died and her soul crossed over, continuing to live eternally. My youngest daughter asked me last year where I thought this “place” was that her soul is in now.

Now a traditional Catholic would say she is in “heaven.” What interesting concepts those ideas of heaven and hell are, as places “to go to.” Isn’t heaven possibly within? I believe that heaven is a state of consciousness or awareness to achieve as we are living our life in this body—and beyond.

While she was living her life on this earth, my mom many times chose to go to a less than a heavenly place in her consciousness. She experienced her life as a victim in many ways and was tortured by a lot of emotional pain. She wasn’t as blessed as I am to know that we create our reality through our beliefs, our thoughts, our words, and the stories that we choose to buy into.

I am so grateful that, last year, when she was feeling a lot of physical pain as she was dying, I was able to teach her that she can go to a heavenly place in her mind. For her, that heavenly place was Barcelona, where she had lived as a young woman and where she had once created happiness for herself.

Having had the opportunity to teach her this fills me with the hope that her soul is still choosing to focus on heaven and therefore that she finds herself in her own personal heaven.

Why don’t we all choose more often to focus on the heaven within ourselves? The Law of Cause and Effect states that we create for ourselves that which we choose to experience in our life—and, as I see it, beyond.

When you find yourself “going through hell”, remember that you can change that experience by choosing to create a different reality!

Heaven is not a place outside yourself or even a place to go after you die. Heaven is happening right now, here on earth, when you awaken the heaven within.

Fear

How magnificent could we all be if we were always in the flow of abundance! Trusting that we are prosperous and that Spirit will provide all that we need. Instead, we get caught up in fear and a perception of lacking.

And what about being in the flow of love? There is so much love around us coming from our family, friends, even strangers: all individualizations of the one Spirit that lives in all of us. How often do we close up to that love; how often do we not acknowledge or appreciate it because we are stuck in the belief that we are undeserving or not lovable? Maybe what truly scares us is the realization that we are loved, deeply loved.

Our health is another area in which we manifest lack, out of fear. We have all heard that our body has healing powers inside, that we can all heal ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. But how often do we give away the responsibility for our health out of a lack of belief, a lack of belief in our own power and the power of Spirit inside.

We don’t like to feel the fear, so we push it away, continuing to run stories about not having enough: I don’t have enough money/love/support/help… The list is endless.

We stop the flow of goodness coming into our lives by going into a place of fear. What to do with fear? The first step is to do exactly what we are resisting to do. Feel the fear; sit in it; acknowledge it! We experience that we can survive feeling it.

“If you get scared, sit in the fear.  If you need support, reach out to soul family and bare your soul.  They will support you.  If you shed tears in this release, close your eyes and observe the sensation that follows in the wake of your tears.  Resist the urge to scratch the sensation or wipe away the tears.  Let tears of Truth dry into your skin and experience change.” (Carmien Owen)

The second step is to become aware of the old limiting beliefs behind our fears; examine them for the truth. Is it really true that we don’t have any money, any love, any support?

“Just as the tracks of your tears will pass, so too will your fear.  Fear is a feeling.  Behind every feeling is a belief.  Willingly invoke this knowing.  Practice asking yourself what is the belief that no longer serves you, that is actually surfacing because it was pushed there by the Love that expands within you.” (Carmien Owen)

The third step is to acknowledge what is happening in this very moment as a learning opportunity which spirit is presenting to you. It is time to lovingly bring in a shadow trait we might have uncovered or to lovingly transfer a limiting belief to one that helps us back into the flow of being the master creators of our own reality.

 

Call me or email me for a free consultation

905-286-946

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca

Knowing How to Use the Law of Attraction

Meditating on an Ernest Holmes quote today, I realized how this spiritual writer, teacher and leader, already wrote in 1926 about the same teachings that have most recently become popular with the more secular “Law of Attraction” teachings through the authors of the book “The Secret,” or the Abraham teachings by Ester & Jerry Hicks.

In his book, “Science of Mind” Ernest Holmes writes, “I have complete confidence in my knowledge and understanding of the Law of God. I not only know what the Law is, I know how to use it. I know that I shall obtain definite results through the use of It. I realize that doubts about my ability to use this Law are things of thought. What thought has produced, thought can change.”

What thought has produced, thought can change! Yes, indeed! We have created one reality with our beliefs, thoughts, words and actions and can create a completely different experience for ourselves by examining our belief systems, changing our limiting beliefs, speaking words in line with what we want to create, and acting with consciousness in our roles as co-creators!

An important element of creation, however, is not to let doubts about your worthiness or ability to be a magnificent creator of your own reality get in the way. These doubts again are limiting beliefs. You are worthy of creating purpose, love, health and wealth in your life! You are able to find your purpose, experience love, enjoy health, and manifest abundance and prosperity!

It is not enough to know of the Law of Attraction and half heartedly try to manifest what you want. Succeeding requires an awareness of your belief systems and clearing out all of those doubts and beliefs that hold you back from really creating the very best for yourself and the people in your life.

We are always creating. We cannot stop creating. Every moment of your day, you are co-creating your experience through the vibrations you are sending out. The most immediate and most harmonious creations come from the heart. The electromagnetic field of our heart is 60 times stronger than the electromagnetic field of our brain. The magnetic component of the heart is even 5000 times stronger than the brain’s magnetic field. This field allows us to find the same state of resonance as other people, animals and plants around us. We draw into our field what vibrates at the same frequency. Being in the heart frequency allows us to bring in more love, greater joy, better health and abundance.

 

If you want to find out more about how to find that loving resonance and to live more in your heart, or how to transform your limiting beliefs with Psych-K®, give me a call for a free consultation.

905-286-9466

greendoorrelaxation@yahoo.ca