Why Would I Want to Embrace My Darkness and How Do I Do That?

When speaking to people about their shadow self, one question keeps coming up. Why would I want to embrace a negative trait? They cannot see anything positive about those characteristics that they have suppressed in themselves but judge so harshly in others.

The moment we find out what that part in us is teaching us, or how it has served us in the past or can serve us in the future, it is easy to embrace it.


Margaret grew up with a controlling and manipulative mother and has made the decision never to be like her. The Law of Attraction however guarantees that she draws other manipulative people into her life. She realized that she was caught in a pattern of trusting someone and then being hurt deeply by them being manipulative and acting in a dishonest way.

She found it difficult to see how that manipulative side of her could be anything positive. Yet, Margaret is very successful in her career because she knows how to navigate a political environment. She skilfully manages people, always aware of what needs to be done or said to motivate everybody. She manipulates them in her own way to achieve results.

Another benefit of having embraced our manipulative self is that we recognize the manipulation in others and don’t fall for it. Once Margaret is fully in touch with her manipulative side she will “smell” the next manipulative and controlling person a mile away and be aware. She will be able to stand up early and say, “I know what you are up to. Not with me!”


Anger seems to be another challenging one to embrace for many people. How can anger be something positive, we ask?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with anger. A feeling of anger gives us the feed-back that something is not right. Our needs are not met, or something is unfair.

Anger becomes a problem the moment we deny having it. It will get bottled up and explode uncontrollably when we last expect it. The moment you accept that angry sub-personality, healthy and appropriate expressions of anger can take the place of uncontrollable outbursts. Our angry part is one of our biggest allies. It helps us to stand up, claim our power and to make sure our needs are met.


For more information on doing shadow work, or the upcoming four-day Shadow Energetics workshop lead by Darryl Gurney in May, contact Angelika.



Leave a Reply